I was involved with a really wonderful (or so I'd thought) guy until earlier this evening when he told me that he'd gotten the new job he'd interviewed for and that basically while he still cared about me, he loved the idea of working 14 hours a day, six days a week by choice more? And seemed surprised that I was upset by this? He keeps texting me like that's going to make it better and like I'm really upset and can't deal with this? Like what do I do with this??

I'm really sorry, that sounds so rough. Is there any room to still see each other? Do you even want to, given that this person has demonstrated this lack of consideration for you?

If it was a serious relationship then this is absolutely unacceptable. If it wasn't serious or they weren't aware of your feelings for them then I'd maybe give a chance to see if anything can still work (based on you saying they want to make it better)

We were fairly serious and he pretty explicitly said we're breaking up now and that he wanted to concentrate on his new job. Honestly I'm so hurt and blindsided by the whole thing that I don't think I would want to get back together if the opportunity were to present itself. And he keeps texting me and won't even give me time to grieve/process things.

"If this relationship meant anything to you, promise me you'll be good to yourself "

Yeah it meant something to me why do you think I'm this upset?

Block his number and take the time you need.

Ugh, that sucks. This person was explicit that it was over, so you can be too. I would send a message along the lines of "Being good to myself means not talking to you again."

Yeah this is perfect

Once again I'm so sorry they treated you like that. You deserve better.

As for how to get through it, where there is this much hurt I feel its best to block in every way you can and just keep as busy as you can. Right now you still have all those emotional bonding chemicals in your body but time and no contact will remove them. So how to pass time? Being busy, also looking after yourself with rest and keep getting through an hour, a day at a time. Eat well. Be nourished with good food. get into healthy home cooking (if you're not already) another good time passer

I once after a breakup redecorated my entire house, started listening to audiobooks before sleep to stop my mind wandering to them

Also a good meditation technique - if you do think of the person, don't judge or berate yourself for that thought. It's just your brain doing what brains do and that's ok, however it is unwelcome so to train them away, mentally picture yourself slapping a post it note on the thought that just says 'thinking' and then it moves off along a conveyor belt. I started doing this and over time it evolved to a cookie stamper that says 'thinking' with all these cookies moving along a belt. Then it was one of those things that lets you throw a ball really far for a dog. I write 'thinking' on the ball then chuck it into the sea. The point is not to have no thoughts, that's impossible, just a mental visualization technique to 'throw away' anything unwanted without berating yourself for it. Gets better with practice too.

A friend of mine directed me to this forum. Currently I am In a wonderful relationship with a Godsend of a boyfriend and would hate it if anything happened between us but recently I lost several friends. They've occasionally screwed me over, so there were always signs but because I'm a shy socially awkward loner with not much friends, I kept going back to them. No matter how many times they used and abused me. It's actually all you UMD friends that has made it where I don't feel lonely anymore. So thank you all for that.

I totally agree with CandyCustard (except for that last bit, that last part confused me. ) about staying busy. To be honest, I wouldn't even text him anything. Anything you say would put him in defense-mode and things will get said. Which you definitely don't need. I would like it if you guys could talk about things and figure out a way to make it work but it sounds like he's not willing to do that.

My advice? Don't text him. He should already know how you feel. Do something you enjoy. Hang out with your friends or UMD friends. (We don't even have to get messy) Anybody wanna go see The Bad Guys when it comes out in theaters? Lol. It's going to be hard I know. But each day, it'll get easier to move on I promise. Just try not to dwell on it.

I hope that helps. Feel free to send me a personal message if you need someone to talk to.

Thanks, everyone. I'm sorry. The whole thing has been really hard and fucking weird and it's really negatively impacted my mental health. Like I finally met someone who really got me and things were great and then suddenly I just ceased to matter because of a job. I dunno. I don't get it. I'm sorry.