A request for advice. I figured out I was into wam stuff about 18 months ago. (Long story, but it emerged in a non-wam context, and then a very kind person[1] helpfully pointed me to umd.) Obviously since then I've been constrained, like everyone, in meeting up with people because of the pandemic. But I'm now in the lucky situation of being double-vaccinated and otherwise healthy, so want to start thinking about meeting up with people. (And am having first-meeting nerves, but that's a separate question.) For reference, I'm mostly into pies and slime, and mostly into being the target/victim rather than the person doling out the mess. I'm in the position of generally not being able to accommodate and so meet-ups are likely to be not at my place. So I was wondering: what's the etiquette for messy sessions?
- Offer to share in costs, set-up, clean-up. (But some people may prefer to take some of that on themselves, which is equally fine.) - Don't mess the other person around: respond to messages promptly, give advance notice, don't expect the other person to be available at no notice, and above all don't flake out on agreed meet-ups. - Be realistic about expectations and take the other person's preferences into account.
In addition, I suppose I'd add:
- Set clear boundaries in advance so no misunderstandings (including about any pics/video). Informed consent, etc. - Apply non-wam rules of common-sense/safety about meeting people. - Just generally be a nice human.
What else am I missing?
[1] A very kind person who will be taking some pies as their reward.
You've certainly got all the basics! Isn't that a great Forum?
I see that in addition to pies, you like stocks & handcuffs. Pies, stocks, pillories, and handcuffs are my favorites, too!
If you don't mind my asking, is your "very kind friend" male or female? I love seeing lovely females as "the target"! Now, that can sound demeaning and objectifying, but I don't feel like that about women in real life. But in fantasy, or messy play, I love the thought of someone being "the target of my pies", or "a good pie target". It reminds me of those boards that people put their head through, with a bullseye around it, to become the "pie target". That's one of my most stimulating scenerios. I love pics and/or scenes with women putting their heads through the hole and getting pied!
@Normanmabeld: In this case, the friend is male. I agree with what you're saying - there's potentially a tension between respecting the other person and the humiliating aspect of them getting pied or whatever. I suppose the answer is that you're showing them respect by getting their informed consent (maybe even enthusiastic consent!) for their being messed up. As you say, wam is among other things a kind of play - that's one of the things I find appealing about it. And if anyone wants to objectify *me* while I'm being their pie/slime target, they're very welcome to! (It seems pretty unlikely to me, but what do I know??)
I'd add that it is a good idea to have a vanilla meetup in public before the session, and/or a video call. This is not just for safety, but also if they are reliable at this you can be sure they will be reliable at going ahead with the session itself.
Love you, too
