I live in Las Vegas and being that this city is a big tourist destination, I am frequently contacted by WAM fans planning to visit who want to get together and get messy. I find more often than not that many expect me to host, set up the play space (ie. lay down plastic), shop for all of the food stuff and leave me with the responsibility of clean up after we've had our fun. Another misconception I come across frequently is that because they are on vacation visitors often think that I too am on vacation and don't have a regular job.

Don't get me wrong, I want to have a great messy time with visitors but I feel the enjoyment and the responsibility/cost should be shared equally among the participants unless other arrangements are discussed and agreed to in advance. For this reason, I've put down some of my thoughts on "messy etiquette" so everyone can have a great time:

- Please offer to share equally in the set up / clean up and the associated costs involved. This includes offering to shop or bring your share of the food stuff or offering to take the time to shop for the supplies with the other participants involved.

- Respond to messages in a timely manner. Messy activities often involve a great deal of planning in advance. Not responding to questions asked by the other party leaves the other person unsure how to plan, what to buy, what to do, etc.

- Give as much advance notice as possible. I've had countless times where pie pals showed up in town suddenly and message me day of, "I'm here and available to get messy today. You free and can you host?" Depending on work/family commitments and if I were free, we still have to shop for supplies and prepare the play space.

- If you contact someone and make a commitment to get messy, please keep your commitment. I've had two occasions where I purchased supplies only to have the other person cancel an hour (or less) before the agreed meeting time, leaving me with a fridge full of food stuff that will now go to waste and my wallet hurting.

Have any other UMD members had similar experiences?

Please feel free to add your suggestions for "messy etiquette". Thanks.

I've had 2 occasions where guys just haven't shown up after I've got everything ready, its incredibly annoying let alone expensive!

I'm not going to name and shame but hopefully they'll see this (they are both on here) and change their habits!

I suppose it's nice if someone offers to help prep, provide mess, share costs or clean up but I honestly prefer to do all that myself if I'm hosting.

I don't want help with set-up / clean-up because I like to take my time with those things and I like to do things in a particular way.

Certainly don't like any money changing hands, I feel that's unfriendly and it would turn me into a service provider of sorts which then entitles the other person to expect a certain level of service. WAM is purely a hobby for me and it's not like I can't afford a few cream pies and plastic sheets.

I certainly concur with all your other points. Be polite and communicative, don't be pushy in any way and above all...show up!

I've had a few gunge meets over the years and I would agree with the points being made in the original post. The only exceptions for me - and this is just a personal preference - is that I prefer to do the set up, because as Falkor said, I have my own way of doing things. It's fair that offering to split the cost should be made to the host, but again this is where I'm an exception. The people I've met with usually have traveling to do (which in the UK isn't cheap), so I see that as an offset. I also tend not to let the other person have a say in how much gunge is used, so it would be cheeky in a way for me to ask for a financial contribution given how many buckets I fill up with

I would strongly recommend discussing expectations of both parties for what will happen during a meet. The last thing anyone wants is to feel uncomfortable during a gunging. Let's face it, there's no quick get away when you're dripping with slime. The last thing a good host would want to do is make their guest feel uncomfortable (as host you're in a familiar environment, you're guest isn't), and in turn a good guest should not make a host feel uncomfortable. If it turns out that you're on different pages whilst discussing, then it's best to not meet up. There are times when two people are just not right for a gungey get together, for whatever reason.

I've always found it funny in a way when I've read a message on the Personals board when someone says, for example, they're available 'today' or 'this weekend' (and the message is posted late on Friday) for a gunge meet. As has been mentioned, more adequate time is needed to arrange a meet, even simpler set ups. It makes me wonder just how serious is the person being? Which leads me on to...

Honour your commitment to show up. I've had so many times over the years where I've had people get in touch, only to 'disappear' (especially as soon as I mention potential dates) or worse, I've mixed the gunge before hand only to be stood up (only happened once, many years ago - lesson learnt). I've also set up the play space and the person hasn't shown. Almost as if they just want a wank conversation to get off on the idea of gunging with someone. If that's you're only intention then just say so - I'd indulge you and it saves me time and money

Planning, Prep, commitment, communication, equal shares, Taking notes!

Always offer to help clean up. I've had sessions with plenty of dudes, and even the ones that aren't normal wammers have offered to help clean up.

Unfortunately, someone that is still very active on these forums pulled this crap on me, as well as not even offering any compensation for supplies purchased, because the session I specifically laid out to him wasn't his dream fantasy. Sorry, I don't own an airplane hangar that can be converted into an obstacle course.

I must admit that after a few last minute letdowns over the years I now don't start setting up (unless it's someone I've played with before) until they're confirmed to be en route. Would always offer a contribution if we're using a decent quantity of stuff (or offer to bring some of my own supplies), and helping with cleanup should surely go without saying!

The one thing I do find annoying is when people pester me for sessions - I don't have a lot of free time, and I share a flat, so the opportunities to get messy are few and far between, and it gets annoying when someone's getting stroppy because I'm busy/unavailable.