Long story short- my fiance wants to start getting back to going to mass since we're getting married in September (both of us are Cradle Catholics), so she's going to start test driving churches this weekend with some friends before we start going together.
Back when I still went to mass regularly, maxis were pretty popular in the summer, and so I would pretty regularly get into the habit of counting the number of women wearing them in my head to pass the time. For a variety of different reasons, I would rather not get I back into this habit, so I've been working on coming up with some ideas for "sit still and listen" time so I don't revert to counting the number of hot moms in long dresses.
With that said, it's been probably 7 years since I last regularly went to mass, so the dress code might have changed for all I know. Maybe everyone is in business casual or something. Hence the question.
Is my brain gonna go haywire on Sundays for an hour in the summer, or am I setting myself up for (relieved) disappointment?
dalamar666 said: Don't torture yourself with the dresses. Keep counting them!!! In my mind anything to distract from what is being said is a great thing.
Believe me- the counting will continue! I just feel like there's a time and place and church is not the time and place
In my mind, church is the perfect place for that. There are really only a handful of times when people wear their I want to look better than X. That is when they go clubbing and want to hook up, or go to church.
Breeding is a hardwired biological imperative, and as such oogling at attractive members of the opposite sex is a very normal and human thing to do- so don't sweat it. (This is as much true for women looking at men as men looking at women, and for same sex attraction too).
That being said- if you do be discreet. No-one likes a drooling staring creepo.
Controlling these urges and keeping 'eyes forward' is of course pretty bloody hard due to it being a hardwired base instinct- however it can be done, and one's behaviour can be mastered. Takes a fair bit of mental discipline and focus. You may want to employ a few psychological tricks to nudge yourself back on track- this entire subject is a deep dive in its own right, but you could try wearing your watch on your other wrist as a constant reminder in your visual field.
screen_name said: Breeding is a hardwired biological imperative, and as such oogling at attractive members of the opposite sex is a very normal and human thing to do- so don't sweat it. (This is as much true for women looking at men as men looking at women, and for same sex attraction too).
That being said- if you do be discreet. No-one likes a drooling staring creepo.
Controlling these urges and keeping 'eyes forward' is of course pretty bloody hard due to it being a hardwired base instinct- however it can be done, and one's behaviour can be mastered. Takes a fair bit of mental discipline and focus. You may want to employ a few psychological tricks to nudge yourself back on track- this entire subject is a deep dive in its own right, but you could try wearing your watch on your other wrist as a constant reminder in your visual field.
Absolutely!
My fiance knows I count. There's a concert venue we like to see shows at and it's an outdoor place where there's generally bound to be a higher number of attractive older women wearing maxis.
At some point, sitting there waiting for stuff to kick off because we like to get there earlier, we'll wind up turning it into a game where we try to start spotting someone in a maxi dress before the other person does.
But no starting. That's the one rule. I might redirect my gaze every so often, but I never let it settle on one person.
screen_name said: Breeding is a hardwired biological imperative.
That's a pretty broad assumption. I have zero compulsion to reproduce. My parenting instinct is less than zero. Got snipped to make sure it wasn't even a potential accidental outcome.
Love you, too
