I've been aroused by this, let's face it, weird fetish since before I even knew what arousal was. It was always mud for me. Smooth, slippery mud and clay. The sense of being enveloped. The slimy sensuality of it. Nothing else. It was primal, inexplicable, but a part of my sexual self from before my sexual self was even fully formed. When the internet finally came along, it was the first thing I looked for.

I've lurked on this site for close to 25 years, when you had to wait half an hour for a gif to load over dial-up. I thought I was an utter freak till I found you all. What was going on back then? Messyfun was in its prime. Mudmadphil showed pictures of his 'mud bed'. A guy called Chainsaw John talked about dunking his head in a barrel of mud. Messygirl was in its infancy. Even Devo77 had only just started swinging it.

I've bought downloads from pretty much every producer on here. I've deleted them in fits of self-disgust and I've bought them again.

I've never had the nerve to even so much as attempt to introduce anything messy into my own sex life. My wife was a very vanilla person. I didn't dream of mentioning this to her. And then, a couple of years ago, we separated after close to a couple of decades together.

Somehow, mysteriously, I soon got a new girlfriend, about a decade my junior. From having had no sex at all in the dying days (well, years) of my marriage, I was doing it all the time, and doing things I'd only ever fantasised of before. Generation gap? Who knows. Whatever it was, I knew I was lucky.

And then, recently, we got drunk and my girlfriend blurted out a confession: she'd always had a weird fantasy about... yeah. You know what she said.

In-fucking-credible. I didn't want to go in too strong, shouting, "GREAT! LET ME DROWN YOU IN LIQUID CLAY!" but it seems some messy fucking is definitely on the cards. I'm playing it cool, obviously, but it's going to happen soon.

We're not the sort to film it. You're never going to see it. But I'd like to say to all my fellow freaks out there: there is hope.

It might take you entirely by surprise, but it's definitely out there. I'm nearly fifty. It's not the be-all-and-end-all it once was, but I'm going to get to try it, at last.

I'm amazed.

So good luck, fellow travellers. You never know.

That brought back some memories. Crazygirls would have been the hottest thing back then too, with the 100kb jpg images you had to download individually!

Congratulations on your rather excellent luck! Long may your new messy sex life continue!