@piefoot. I kept sending emails to Edwards telling them how much I loved their Cream Pies and how I hit myself in the Face with them and have other people do it to me too.
A woman named Brenda finally replied to my relentless emails, and even sent me a coupon in the mail. I sent her a picture of me covered in Cream Pies and she responded to that too.
I sent her an email every once in awhile and so far all is quiet on the Western front.... But I bet she secretly likes my pictures!