adam w:mmmm... I remember that night VERY well. I would post a picture of it but sadly we didn't get a video of THAT particular time. Just what happened the next night God it turns me on you get so hot hearing about me jacking off. Then again I love watching you...

jilly:Nope... No video of that, but the night after? Whew... Glad we got that on video I'm so glad you didn't think I was a raging weirdo/perv when I essentially attacked you after telling me hehe.

In my defense it was really, really hot. And I'll never look at that model the same way again lol. I won't give her away

irrefutable clocks:If I came while masturbating as a teenager, I do not remember doing it. The confounding factor is that I was using shaving cream as lubricant, owing to the pie fetish. The fact that shaving cream was everywhere must have stopped me from noticing that I had spunked myself.

So I think the first time I actually, really, emphatically knew I was experiencing orgasm was when I was inside of my first real girlfriend. This was maybe a week after I had lost my virginity. During the first week the sex was fine, but was orgasm-free. It just felt like exercise, kind of boring, but a nice thing to do to pass the time.

But then after having sex a few times I started to feel this weird tension building up in the plumbing. I had never quite felt that way before. It felt like there was a dam waiting to burst. Then it did. It took her a good ten minutes of standing and scooping with Kleenex to get the liquid love out of her sassy place.

jilly:I remember that familiar feeling of it building up in my chest... A warm feeling between my legs and up into my stomach, like a lump in my throat, and then this EXPLOSION. I think Adam should detail his, it was a much hotter-sounding explanation

And I know the all-too-familiar standing and squeezing out of "liquid love" lol. Sometimes I think I'm done, then moments later I have it coming down my thighs hehe

Stella:Can't say I remember my first time but before I learned about playing with myself I learned how to make myself orgasm. I have always been able orgasm just by thinking about it or wanting to do so; no touching myself in any way required. So I would always do this while I was bored during lectures are school, sitting on the bus, or just doing anything at home. No one ever caught on. Now, by the time I realized what I was doing I was probably 13 which is also when I learned that other people usually have to touch themselves. I still do it constantly at work whenever I am bored.

jilly:You go, Stella! Let it be known that there are girls out there who masturbate just as much or even more than the boys do Honestly, any time I have the chance (if I've been given the permission, of course) I'll go at it. I just remember after the first time I just did it ALL. THE. TIME. I started a bit early too because I had an older sister (I think her name is "Jenny" or something. You guys might know her.) so I was always told about sexual stuff or, more accurately, overheard it when she and her friends were talking She never told me about it DIRECTLY ha. It became my favorite hobby lol

JoeYoung:I also do not remember my "first time". But, similar to Unreputable Schmucks, i do vividly remember the nexus of (self) WAM and masturbation.

I was probably around 9 or 10. YOU CAN'T DO THAT ON TELEVISION was in heavy rotation on Nickelodeon; i don't ever remember getting hard, but i do remember getting a dryness in my throat, a kind of rapid heartbeat/eye-widening "holy crap....what the....wow, ok, apparently i'm into this? Not sure why?" thing.

Also, there were similar reactions to things like the Little Rascals (there's one epic pie fight that I remember watching over and over again, back when HBO would show something in the morning, and then repeat it again after school/in the evening).

There's also, and this is -- super out there/random -- this memory i have of a girl in a checkered "cowboy/girl" type shirt, sitting next to a guy, and he has this kind of "nasty grin" on his face, and he's pied her squarely in her face. His hand is holding the tin there. I think it's from some variety or burlesque show; i think it's burlesque, because for YEARS, until i got to LA and attended some burlesque shows and had friends who were dancers/performers, i was obsessed with the connection between burlesque and pies/slapstick. So, no idea what this thing was, but i saw it listed in an HBO Guide, back when they used to send the little monthly guide that some hotels/motels still keep in their rooms. And i just was floored. I was like "Wow...that is...." I would've said "a total turn on", but i didn't even have the means to voice that.

Anyway, around this time, i would go take "long showers/baths", disappearing into our one bathroom for a long time. No doubt my mother eventually figured out what i must be doing in there, and to keep from being discovered or questioned, i started masturbating in there when my parents would go off to the store, or better yet, would go off to work for the day, leaving me home for an entire day, which sort of started to happen maybe around age 11-12.

I have very distinct memories of "getting set up" for a late morning/early afternoon of self-WAM/masturbation. My Mom would occasionally drive home and have lunch at home, and i was forever paranoid that was going to happen, and i think to this day it's actually instilled me with a little bit of OCD, where i'd make sure the front door is locked, make sure i wasn't dripping whipped cream on the counter or on the kitchen floor, etc.

There was a good year or so when i would self-WAM a lot. Mostly paper plate shaving cream or, if i was lucky enough, Reddi/Cool-Whip pies to the face.

The feel of it (the cold, the dripping) was pretty incredible, but also often lead to immediate awkward shame, because it was like "well...fuck, now i have to clean all this up and not get it everywhere".

Like Schmucks, i remember ejaculating almost amidst/along with the act -- specifically, trying to jerk myself off to orgasm AND pie myself in the face at exact or nearabouts the same time. (The tough thing if you're a paranoid young self-WAMmer who is exploring masturbation tactics, though, is that when you pie yourself in the face, you can't see fuck-all and you're pretty sure some cream of one kind or another has flown off into some part of the room, only for your parents to find later and go "Is this...what is this...why is there a white splotch on the medicine cabinet?"

Smearing paper plates full of fairly "wet" pie onto my face was an amazing formidable experience, and probably (i mean obviously) directly linked to the kinds of pie scenes i enjoy, and the kind of messes i enjoy.

The whole "bathroom" thing was kind of a masturbation sanctuary - I grew up in a one-floor ranch-style house where my bedroom was next to my parents, and i had a very squeaky bed, so i actually have very few memories of trying to masturbate in my room and on my bed.

The bathroom is one of those rooms where messes can be cleaned up most easily and mess itself can be "explained away", vs. "Honey? Why does your carpet smell like sour Reddi Whip in your bedroom?" But we also had a heater in the bathroom, this wall-grate thing, and whether summer or winter, i liked to crank that sucker. The windows had both a louvered wooden-slat shade, as well as a typical pull-down blind, and the way the light used to come filtered through that blind in the midst of a summer day, OR if i was feeling particularly daring, i'd shut the louvered part and leave the blind up, letting actual daylight in... It's pretty much burned into my memory.

I also really liked gray, rainy days, for reasons I can get into elsewhere another time (i was a moody, quiet kid), and the thought of taking a bath after a pieing/masturbation session while it rained or was at least slate-gray skies outside...the whole thing (whipped cream aside) is VERY womb-like. It was a warm space with sometimes cold to neutral lighting, and i could luxuriate in water, or cream, or lotion, or just kind of lie on the floor and stare up at the ceiling/the gray sky outside, it was incredibly sensual and peaceful, which is likely why to this day whenever the subject/conversation comes up about "What turns you on? Do you like dirty talk? How hardcore do you like it?", i tend to give a somewhat muted response, for how do I explain everything I just wrote down in this post?

All of this, in particular the WAM, and to a degree the "private womblike masturbation sessions" did eventually kind of get old. I stopped taking cans of Reddi Whip into the bathroom; i stopped microwaving frozen tubs of Cool Whip to loosen them up, trying to hold a towel around my waist while peeking into the living room/out the front windows to make sure nobody was pulling into the driveway; staring at myself in the mirror with pie dripping off my face just kind of lost its luster and seemed sad and forced and empty.

I have not pied and masturbated in probably 20 years, ironically and probably not coincidentally around the first time i began to find there was a whole community of people like me, mostly my age, who grew up with the SAME references re: pies, mud, slime, etc. and I didn't feel so "weird" or sad/alone in my memories of self-WAMming. I will never forget typing "pie, face, girl, self" etc. into whatever pre-Google shit existed back then, and seeing all the results (the Idalyis pieing on MTV was among first memories, ditto Rob Blaine's messy fun and the UK scene, things like "All Pies TV).

It was, to quote a Disney classic, a "Whole New World".

I would love to go BACK to WAMming in the home, now that i have my own place and am perfectly capable of buying cake mix and pies and whipped cream by the truckload, but I hope to be able to find a partner to do it with, to move past the inherent "sadness" in my memories, though there is a fondness in those memories too, a fascination and a warmth and a glow and an excitement about it all, otherwise i wouldn't have just spent 20 minutes typing all of this out.

JY