Oh, WAM community. Our love/hate relationship with shaving cream pies is ongoing, and has no limit of opinions on the subject.

I love them.

I'm not focused on them, and we're not exclusively dating, the giant sc pie and I, but they are near and dear to me and my need to get pied.

Here's the thing. Since COVID, I've been staying home, mostly; and certainly not getting on a 747 to travel to see friends for pie-face-mayhem. And, I'm perfectly happy fantasizing on my own and planting a pie in my pface. But getting banana cream pies delivered to Casa de Anna has been insufficiently reliable. Once in a while, I'll splurge (ha ha) and buy 2 or 3, wait for them to arrive, and then let them get to some semblance of room temperature, and go crazy.

But more often than not, it's been more reliable to order a dozen cans of sc, re-use the old pie tins stacked up in the cabinets, and have fun. A LOT of fun.

Some pros:
You can make them YUGE. YUUUUUGE! That's fun. There's nothing like looking at a pie, as a pie in the face fetishist, and thinking: "..... oh.. fuck. Ruh-roh.".

They feel amazing. Thick lather.. mmmmmm. And it sticks, and doesn't come off, and doesn't quit. Oooooooof.

They're warm. Real pies can be chilly, which is a part of the thrill of a real banana cream pie in the face. But lets face it, early-morning shower-shenanigans with a pie is often nicer served warm. I toss the cans into hot water for a while before use. Sometimes warm is as sexy as cool. And cool is cool, but warm can be cooler. Dig?

They looks HYSTERICAL! I admit so does cool whip, and so do a lot of pies. But the pure volume of cream transferred from tin to face and body is, frankly, awesome. And funny!

It's slippery as fuck, and I'm a slippery freak as well. So, score on two counts.

You can use the sc over and over and over and over.. until it disintegrates. Or I run out of hot water.

Cons:
Obviously, they taste terrible.

My skin hates me after too many days in a row of self-pieing. Even with skin lotion, and sensitive-skin sc; do it with enough frequency, and my skin begins to lose all of it's oils too quickly to recover.

My hair hates it! Too many pies too many days in a row, and my hair is dry and falling out of my head onto the bathroom floor, where I confused it for either a weird spider or a freakishly small, hairy beetle.

--

Also, stress. What a year of stress. Ugh.

Getting pied reduces my stress. As someone recently reminded me, sex is spiritual; and sexual-sensual self-care has been a spiritually, emotionally, and physically fulfilling occurrence. Whether alone or with a partner, it should be a fulfilling experience. (I do prefer a partner, but ya gotta do what you gotta do).

Last comment: At this point in my fleeting but fabulous existence, I don't *need* a partner. I *like* having one, but in no way does a partner complete me, or fill a missing gap. (That's not on a partner anyway, that's on me, filling those gaps; and that's also a different blog post, but I digress anyway!).

What they say is true: love yourself, and you can truly love others. Be able to live with yourself, and only then can you truly live with others.

And shaving cream rocks, yo! Even by yo'self.

Also, everyone: masturbate. A lot. Trust me on this.