What a year. 2021 was tough for me, thanks for asking.

I quit my job very early in the year, so hooray for "the great resignation". In my case: a terrible hire in an executive position was the direct cause of over 80% attrition in my (tech-related) department. I was glad I left, but also: prior to that I was dedicated to our little company, and delighted in it's growth. It was a traumatic (to me) exit, and that on top of other things pandemic-related, put me into a nearly year-long funk. A depression.

I did take care of myself, and was offline for most of the year. No social media, no email (save for personal and job search), no UMD. Time with friends, time alone, that was about it.

I lost any interest in intimacy, pie-play, you name it. I hadn't been that low in years, but from experience (and some help), the upward spiral began and things got better.

One day, last September-ish, one of my closest friends Aud texted me: "come to the nude beach with me".

(P.s., names are fictional to protect the innocent and delightfully freaky)

"A beach with no clothes? Like, no sand, just limestone?" because, hey, it's me right?

She ignored my cleverness, "You, me, husband, and Janie (our M.D. friend)".

Sigh. Sounds nice, sunshine and beach and naked (and naked swimming, which I absolutely adore), but also: sand, sunscreen..and depressed.

Janie's partner refused to go to nude beaches, but of course I was game. And despite having gained several pounds and feeling like a complete blob, I also knew not to say no to social invitations, especially ones from Aud, who is absolutely the most sexually charged person I know. Other than me, really, and she puts me to total shame.

Now, the nude beach is NOT a sexy experience. It's just.. nice. Daring the first time, but in general no one else cares you're naked. No one hits on you. Most people aren't attractive naked, and the ones who are become a commodity pretty quickly. But the sensory elements: sun, wind, water, and the liberating feeling of wearing nothing between you and all of outer space, is pretty grand.

SO off we go, and get to the beach, and put down our 323 blankets, and strip off, and rub each other with SPF45 (ok, won't lie, that got sensual), and mainly be boring and lie around and talk.

Aud is built like I am: short, narrow waist, big tits. Not as hourglass as I am, but still, one sexy womans. Janie is tall, scandinavian-pale, and generally speaking one fucking hot athletic blonde. Aud hubbie is a thin dude with a beautiful penis, no ass, and an introverted personality that make conversation seem like trying to coerce a dime from a lamppost. (Sorry, hubby).

Aud's a PhD in philosophy and teaches at two state universities. Janie is a medical doctor doing research, and the three of us are some freaky kinky fetish chicks, which makes "us" time a really nice break from reality.

So I'm on the beach, the sun cooking me slowly, and for the first time in months I think about naked pie play. Not enough to get turned on and masturbate, but enough to think "Hmm. Now that's a scene. Pied at the nude beach. File that away for future fantasy."

We made snarky comments about the nudies up and down the beach: wrinkly hippie couple, bull-walrus stalking the penguins, inked strippers drinking way too much in the hot sun, and so on.

My mood improved. Aud said, "My god, Anna, you are still one sexy woman!" That felt good to hear. Janie piped in, "Yeah you are. Did you lose weight?"

"No, the opposite, I'm feeling like a blob." I said.

The two of them waved me off, "No way. You look great!."

That made me feel much better, regardless that I know better that any feeling of value must come from within. But even so, hearing it from close friends meant something.

Janie said, "Yeah, I still wish I had your titties."

"Pfft", I said, "You're build like an Olympic swimmer, you're fiiiine! Besides you have nipples like hyperextended gumdrops, so please."

She punched me in the arm, and said, "Talk like that gets you a pie in the face".

For the first time in what seemed like a year or more, I blushed a happy, fetishy blush. Finally, I felt WAMmy. Pie-ey. Like some lovely, sensual old friend had come back to visit for a while.

I looked over at Janie, and said, "Seriously, don't tease me like that!"

She apologized, and Aud leaned up on her elbows and looked over at me, "A, are you worried we'll pie you?"

I replied, "I'm worried you won't. Seriously, if you two ganged up on me and pied me, I'd love it."

Aud grinned, "I'll make a note of that."

Janie, shielding her eyes from the sun, said, "Oh my god, I'm in. That would be so much fun! Are you sure?"

I said, "I'm sure. That would be amazing. To me, at least."

Aud said, "You have the most amazing fetish, I just love it." Aud had her own kinks and fetishes, and was very active in them, from various Role Play to rope, to god knows what else.

After a moment, Aud said, "That would be hot. Hey Janie, lets pie the hell out of Anna."

Janie said, "Absolutely!".

I felt a thrill like I hadn't felt for months and months. I lay back in the sun, my head suddenly filled with fantasy, and I was getting turned on. More than a little at the thought of two of my best friends treating me to my fetish.

A few minutes more, and Aud asked me, "So, can we?"

I looked at her and replied, instantly, "Holy fucking god, yes!"

The two of them broke up into laughter. Janie said "I don't know which of you is lustier!"

I said "Aud is."

Aud said, "Me, probably. I'd like to fuck Anna."

Oh, Jesus, I thought. I retorted, "Be careful, don't think I wouldn't!"

Janie, laconically, said, "Oh, I know you would. You both would".

Hubby just raised a "thumbs-up" and went back to his book.

Aud continued, "No, seriously, I'd really love to fuck Anna. Some good oils, a few toys, I'd like that."

I bit my lip, because this sounded insanely hot. "Aud... ", I shook my head.

Janie sighed, "You two, get a room please."

Aud continued, "A pie in the face, first, but then, fucking."

I said, "Aud!! My god, stop! I swear, keep this up and I'll masturbate right here!"

Aud laughed, Janie cringed, and hubby gave his thumbs-up.

And suddenly, all I wanted to do was get pied, and be ravaged by my sexy friend. It was overwhelming, and I really wanted to go find a place to "flick one out" as they like to say.

I hadn't been this horny for a long, long time.

After a while, hubby went for a walk, and Janie fell asleep after another layer of sunscreen.

I applied lotion to Aud's back, and she was covering mine when I said, "Ok, so I'll go buy a dozen banana cream pies, or at least a bunch of cans of shaving cream, and you can pie the fuck out of me, and then lets fuck. How's that sound?". Because I am as provocative as Aud, but less subtle about it.

"Ok! Yes. A definite yes.", she said, and she kissed me on my neck.

I felt a thrill when she kissed me, and involuntarily gasped. She grinned, and shook her head, and hugged me. "You're so cute.", she said, and climbed around to face me. Pulling my face to hers with both hands, she kissed me on the lips, and then hugged me, our bodies pressing into each other and our respectively large tits squishing together in very pleasing but hysterically awkward shapes.

I was stunned. She sat back after our short embrace. "Wow." I said. "What the hell Aud, you can kiss!"

She smiled, "I am going to pie you. I'd love to."

I shook my head and laughed, and said, "Audrey, oh my god are you trying to make me cum?"

She laughed and said, "Not yet!". With that grin of hers, she looked around, left and right, and then suddenly leaned in and kissed me on the lips again (so soft, oof), and dragged her index finger up and down my clit. I gasped, startled a bit because I was not expecting that, and said "Oh!" a little too loudly.

I shot Aud a looks-could-kill glance. But then said, quietly, "I haven't been this horny in months. Maybe over a year. What the fuck, how did you do that?"

She smiled, and tousled my hair again, "Good! And I don't know, but I'm glad." Then she shrugged and said, "I don't know, but I just felt suddenly that my god I want to kiss you. And lick you and suck you and fuck you, you know the usual."

I smirked, "That's my line."

She said, "Uh huh" and kissed me again. Fuck me, what a kisser she is.

I said, "Well, if you want to ravish me, then really fucking ravish me. No mercy. Fuck the fuck out of me."

She laughed, And said, "Ok, now I'm horny. I will fuck the fuck out of you!"

I laughed, and now megawatt-horny, just blurted, "I really want you both to pie me in the face, pie the ever-loving fuck out of me, all of us naked, and then pie sex for days. That's what I want."

Aud nodded, "I know. I want it to be just me, just us. You and me. Naked for days, a ton of pies, and sex for days."

"I'm gonna fucking melt", I said.

And when hubby returned from his walk, and we poked Janie to wake up and turn over lest she fry only on one side, I was the horniest woman in the western hemisphere for the rest of the day, until I could get home and take care of myself.

And, as frustrating as it may have seemed at the time, I did feel alive for the first time in months, and smiling, and enjoying the heat and frisson of some sudden and unexpected kinky WAMmy lust.

Now: did Aud and I eventually have sex? You bet we did.

And did she pie me? Oh, well. Ahem. She decided on shaving cream pies, and she pied the holy living FUCK! out of me. For someone who is not a WAMmer, or a pie fetishist at all, she sure did work out how to obliterate someone with a pie. I'll tell that story later. Outside of a real WAMmer (One! Of! Us!), which again she is not, I have not been pied with such joy, glee, and enthusiasm as she plastered me. I mean.. I'll have to work up the descriptions for this one. I don't think I'd laughed as hard (or O'ed as hard) as that for a very long time.