A friend notices my corset photo on Facebook and sends me a text message.

"OMG YOUR CORSET PICTURE."

I send reply text. "Oh. I know."

"Goddamnit."

At this point, I notice he's still on Facebook, and I send him a Facebook message with a few more photos.

"Oh dear.
I love it."

I send him another teaser photo.

"May I imagine more and take care of something?"

"Absolutely."

"Thank you very much. Any others hidden away?"

I send him one more, slightly more revealing photo.

"mmmm oh my god....
I knew you were hot.
But goddamnit.
Not Fair."

"Why not fair?"

"....."

"Why don't you just go jerk on your dick a while until you melt into a pearlescent puddle in your hand and come back and tell me all about it. It's obvious all the blood's left your brain."

Just remember, everyone, YOU (yes you) are someone's reason to masturbate.