Mad Malc has been up to his old tricks thinking he can somehow turn the table and WAM Miss Kitty Bliss but he is sadly mistaken!...

We decided to have a lttle quiz whereby he would answer the questions and depending on whether they were answered correctly or not what the outcome would be.

Standing in the bathtub I explained that he was going to answer the questions and any he got wrong would result in any of the pies, yoghurts, custard and trifle I had to hand being poured over his head or shovedi n his face.

'So you have the questions I put aside for you?' he asked with a big grin on his face.

'Yes I have the questions, so let's get started with the first one'

His smile dropped a mile and confusion spread across his face 'They're not the questions I left you, I provided a list of football related questions'.

'Of course you did, that's called cheating' I replied 'you think I am as silly to let you provide questions you know the answer to, don't be a fool!'

He continued to protest and I ordered him to give me an answer which he could choose from a multiple choice selection because if he didn't hurry up I would splosh him as a penalty.

He seemed fairly confident he was right but that soon changed when I pelted him full in the face with the first pie. I couldn't help laughing.

The same happened with next couple of questions until he actually managed to give me a right answer and couldn't contain his excitement at the prospect of sploshing me, well little did he know that any correct answers would result in another round - answering a question that related to the answer he gave me.

'That's not fair!' he retorted.

'Shame' I said 'I make the rules up round here and this is how we are doing the quiz, so I suggest you give me an answer'

'Wrong! Haha' I giggled as I continued with yet another pie to the face.

He was of course unrecognisable now with the shaving foam all over his face and dropping down the front of him.
Needless to say he kept getting them wrong, probably on purpose being the deviant he is! But the final question was a treat as it was a football question, well it was when he got the first part and the second part right almost peeing his pants with the thought that he would be sploshing me; but I had planned for that and then told him there was actually a third part that required an answer.

Let's just say we ended the episode with a double pie to the face, beautiful!

'Well now that's over shall I get clean?'

'No, I have lots left here that needs disposing of as it's all opened, so seeing as you are here and so useless at general knowledge I am going to subject you to the rest of this mess'

'That just doesn't seem fair'

'I don't really care what you think, kneel down so I can get more stuff over you'

As he sat in his shorts and turquoise top I proceeded to pour a big pot of strawberry yoghurt over his head followed by some smaller pots of strawberry and chocolate, then a substantial amount of thick custard which clung nicely to his face and dripped down onto the front of his top. I ordered him to strip to his pants and continued pouring custard into them as I instructed him to pull them open.

The finale with the foodstuffs was a nice strawberry trifle which fell out of its container with a big slurp and landed like a crown upon his head. Slowly sliding down past his ears and over the front of his face.

I pointed at him and laughed telling him what a sorry state he looked and asking what his friends would make of him being in such a mess.

Dont think I am finished just yet I said raising a bucket full of red gunge from the floor You are going nowhere till every last drop goes over your head and then you have the job of clearing up!

He groaned as it slid over him, maybe because it had gone a bit lumpy and didnt feel nice and smooth.

Its very warm he stated

Well think yourself lucky I didnt mix it with cold water maybe next time!

The thick gelatinous concoction had covered him in a suit of red slime and all the ingredients were mixing in the bathtub to make a disgusting looking mess. My work here was done.

Best you get cleaning I said on leaving the bathroom.