wint72:You raise an interesting point.I never thought of it that way.I never thought of my WAM and gear obsession as anything more than a fetish.A part of my life that I love and that I should spend more time on and be less shameful about. But "life" gets in the way. I think I should make it a way of life.A "lifestyle" as it were. I think I might be a little happier that way, instead of just compartmentalizing it. Hiding it in the nonsense that is my "public" life. This has been thought provoking.Thank you!

jilly:Well unfortunately there are other reasons "life" gets in the way of WAM-love and it's not just being unable to WAM publicly. It's people who don't understand the appeal or understand that it's not just some weird psycho-sexual thing, or that we're all insane deviants or something. I live in a small town, Jayce and I both grew up here, and word gets around pretty fast when people find out something they don't quite understand. It's frustrating, to say the least, but it's nothing new to people who love WAM. The best bet is just to ignore those people because if they're worth a damn they wouldn't care what you like Thankfully I have a lot of people who support and care for me --and it doesn't hurt to have a sister and boyfriend who are into it ^_^

I guess "just a fetish" isn't the best way to put it because there's nothing wrong with something being a fetish. I suppose what I was meaning to say is that when it's boiled down to just something that gets someone off, it's irritating to me. It's far more than that to me. Then again, whatever floats your boat or finds your lost remote

adam w:You do raise an interesting point. There are a lot of people who would judge you for what you would do in your personal life but you dont let it affect you and that is something to be proud of, for sure. Most people i know aren't half as strong, and ultimately it takes strength to be yourself fully and truly. It doesn't hurt to have a bf and a sister who are into it but even if they werent it wouldnt stop you from being yourself. All relationships look different and what works for some people wouldn't work for the next couple. I'm glad that we are the way that we are, it works and keeps us close and that is what matters. Keep up the good work sweetie

mattpie88:Your words are really true to my heartfelt thoughts! I think it's really cool. I think of getting messy as the best part of me, my nature, personality-whatever. But you are amazing right, because getting messy is not something I like to do, it's really who I am. It's super cool to read something written by somebody who gets that you rock! -matt

JoeYoung:This is pretty outstanding.

I hadn't truly realized that...well, shit, that you were even that cool with acknowledging and then addressing the "daddy/babygirl" relationship between the two of you, and then you go ahead and intellictify it (i don't wanna say "intellectualize", because that makes it seem like it's pretentious and what you wrote is not pretentious...and yes, i'm aware i just totally made up a word in "intellectify", but fuck it) in a really human, down-to-earth way.

I can say for me, from WAM across the board to other sexual interests (hell, sex/relationships in general), I've lived a bit apprehensively about what I want; what people would think and say; about being open, about being honest, about being just kind of natural about it. I once had a friend say, "I think you think about what sex is 'supposed to be' too much", and that's probably true. I lost my virginity later than a lot of people, and some of that was out of sheer absence of opportunity, but some of it was also because of absence of spine, of honesty, of clarity in what I wanted and was interested in.

Among the clips I downloaded was your "blueberry/cream/blowjob" one, and for all the comments i made in my review of the F'mallow XXX video about "daddy/babygirl" talk, it's 100 percent effective and warranted and in fact fucking hot as shit in the blueberry blow job video. ("Blueberry Blowjob", btw, is totally going to be the name of my new female-singer-led ska-polka band.)

I thought about posting a review about the blueberry blow job video, but A) i sometimes get self conscious about how much i post/say (but then again, "Does anyone really care?" is kind of the way of the internet, right?), B) it's a shortie and thus maybe not as natural a fit for a full review, though CERTAINLY worthy of one. (It's one of the hotter, shorter vids i've ever purchased on UMD.)

I have only known a couple of porn/adult actors in my life (and I am not labeling either JIlly or Adam "porn stars"), and almost all of them were various shades of "Is this person a real person, when all the sex, make-up, coke and money is removed?"

As we all know, there's a strong vocal presence among the UMD about fakers, outsiders, phonies, people who make content but don't really believe in it; and I absolutely see and understand this side of things.

It is a fetish......and we want our fantasies to be or at least SEEM as real as possible.

If we found out Adam and esp Jilly didn't like WAM, and in fact HATED doing WAM videos, it would be disappointing. Some would probably refuse to support the product after that; others would, but it would be a more mechanical thing. (Then again, how much porn is consumed, and how many porn stars say the same thing: "I got into this because i loooooooooove sex", and while I am sure that's true a lot of the time, how can it be true EVERY time? The same way that every pretty model/actress in Maxim/GQ/FHM, etc. "Was totally an ugly tomboy in high school, whom nobody ever asked out".)

Personally, I love knowing that your "freakier, kinkier" sides are genuine, and genuine extensions of who you are as a couple; as lovers; as people.

That is someday how i hope to incorporate WAM into my sex and relationship life... We could have messy sex/play every day for a week, a month, a year, but ultimately it's an aspect of our lives, not the ONLY thing that drives us; gets us off; brought and keeps us together.

BDSM is something that has always eluded me, but fascinated me -- i generally do not like pain in daily life, and the thought of inflicting harm on someone has always been off-putting to me. But, like with WAM but more so, BDSM seems to be so much about trust, fundamentally. Communication, connection.

And that's what i got out of the F'Mallow video; and the blueberry blow job ("Thank you, Cleveland! Goodnight!") video; and now, obviously, out of your blog post here.

Really cool of you to share this, Jilly. I feel like you and Adam are kind of the Alabama and Clarence Whorley of WAM. Only you don't seem like you'd rob anyone or kill anyone, and Jilly seems smarter than Alabama probably was. But still: you're really in sync and loving and it has made for really strong WAM content as a result.

Adam's comment about "the best thing i've ever done with you" and his thank you were just...unique. I suppose what we're talking about here is WAM Couple stuff -- of which there are those out there. You'd have to dig back into archives for, say, Messy Star and Messy Max for example. They always seemed so in love and into each other, and had fun pieing each other and having sex with each other and sharing it... It's like an open book, a diary/visual window into what your sex life is like, and it's kind of a turn on, but also really comforting/cool that you're willing to explore and share it with the UMD community.

I'm a verbose motherfucker and a quick typer, so apologies if this became a ramble...

My name is JY and i approve this comment. (Sorry, the meds are kicking in again.)