So given I've just joined up, I figured I'd start by writing just a quick story about my first time getting messy myself, and see how it goes down with y'all.

I remember usually not caring for television. I preferred to read, or watch movies. But there was something that would catch my attention anytime it appeared on screen.
Gunge -pies, goo, brightly covered muck showering over some poor sap. Sometimes they'd cover their face and look down, to my disappointment, other times they'd laugh all throughout. Usually as a punishment. Though there was the sparse occasion someone would want it. I couldn't blame them, I'd always wanted to try it to. Couldn't understand for the life of me why, so I kept it to myself, as I have more or less to this day. Cold, humiliating, slimy, gloopy, I knew it was something I wanted to experience, though instinctively I'd disregard it as taboo.
I'm on study leave for exams, just spent the morning writing one essay about how media is shaped by society, and one on how the conventions of a media genre impact it's audience. They're both to the highest standard, and I feel I deserve a reward. I'm not one for all talk and no play.
A rare opportunity for me has come up. The old folks aren't home, they've gone away for an anniversary. So overnight it's just me cooped up in the old house. I've been alone for two hours now, my study work done for the moment. My mind shifts back to something it's gone too a lot since hitting my teenage years. The mess being thrown around, which I'd watch on television in secret awe. I know how I'm going to reward myself.
I've never done this before. I'm shaking all over, it seems somewhat scandalous. After going over and over in my mind there was no chance anyone was going to come to the door or in any way intrude me, I set everything up. In the shower, for easy cleaning.
I decide to keep it simple - I'm still nervous, still a 'WAM-Virgin', I believe is the term. So I take a blue plastic plate from the pantry. And after looking at it for a solid minute, I take some whipped cream out of the fridge. I go downstairs to the shower and start to undress. Don't want to leave any evidence on my clothes.
Before I know it I'm stark naked in the shower, filling up a plastic plate with whipped cream. The bottle is soon down to half, with a seemingly gargantuan pile of white cream atop a plastic plate. I bring it to eye level, I'm shaking all over. I feel like I'm doing something wrong, but there's no point turning back now. I contemplate how I want to do it for a second, and ultimately settle for nothing fancy. Just a pie in the face, counting down from three, as I'd seen done to others so many times. I took my last breath before I lost my Wam-Virginity.
3. 2. 1. The softest of 'splat's.
Everything goes dark, it's a lot softer than I expected. It engulfs my face, cold, refreshing, runny. I remove it after a second and admire my handy work. Standing there naked, whipped cream running down my body from my neutral face. I look like a right idiot, someone who's just been humiliated.
And ever since then I'm always counting the days until another opportunity presents itself.