UMD Blogs


Consent
By AnnaLeex
Posted 2/12/17     436 views
There's been this thing lately where I chat with someone and they do something WAMmy without my consent. It turns them on apparently, even after we've agreed what the interests and boundaries are for our chat time together.

This is huge NOPE. I get that forcing your unconsented-to kink on some else turns you on. It turns me into a object without my consent which is what the hell not sexy for me and does not turn me on. Just the opposite.

You can turn me into an object - with my consent!!! If I give it! And it is mine to give, not yours to take. Get it?

I know you want to pie me. But if we agree that I'll set up the gag and THEN the pies fly, then please, stick to the agreement. If you don't like the agreement at first - by all means, don't go for it! I get it, it's not all about me! But we just met, m'kay? Agreeing to one thing and then breaking it -- not a good start. When I set up that gag? It's consent! Geddit?!

No. No, I see, you don't.

Well, see, and that's why we can't have nice things. It's also why I close the chat and don't talk to you anymore.

Do you see how this works?

I'm not pissed. And I've been around the intertubes for a long time. I know how it goes. I also know that I'll meet amazingly cool and consenting adults.

But I still get to rant here about why we can't have nice things!!!!

And that's the news.
Until next time, It's goodnight from me, and goodnight from him!
Tagged n/a
Comments:
Gurph Morlicks:
2/13/17
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Loved this blog. Even as a male UMD member, I've been subjected to similar weirdness from other male members from time to time, so I can only imagine what it's like to be in the 5% or less of the (active, non-lurking) UMD community that is female.

I don't ever do any rp with male members, just not something I have any interest in, but I have chatted with many of them and while 90% or more of them are fine, there are those rotten eggs who inevitably push the convo into some inappropriate area or another. A few days I was talking to someone who suddenly asked if I ever wore women's clothing. When I said no, he said I should try it. Told him I wasn't interested and he just went on to make an increasingly specific list of women's clothing I should buy and wear to get messy in. I quickly exited the convo at that point. This guy could probably have had the same conversation with a wall for all he was acknowledging my responses!

I'm glad you've been around the intertubes long enough not to be scared off by these socially maladjusted creatures, AnnaLee. It sounds like you've got a plucky WAM spirit that is too packed with fun-filled, flan-flinging fire to be extinguished by these drippy cretins. Long may you generate glorious gag setups that cause consensual cream pies to plaster your puss in pastry!
AnnaLee:
2/13/17
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Thank you. Fancy alliteration there, bud!

Its said that 20% of a group cause 80% of the problems. I think it's more like 10% of the people cause 90% of the problems, which is way more optimistic.

But all it takes is one persistent whackjob to ruin a good thing. I assume that the admins here have terrific weed-whackers.

So far I have only had to block one person. Not bad for 3 or 4 days so far!!!

Here's pie in yer eye!!
Jonny From The Block:
2/13/17
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People don't think of chatrooms as a public place. If they did, then you'd think about asking a/s/l (hello 2002). You'd get a punch or a genital reallignment! Sadly, there is plenty of trogolodytal ooze hanging around here
bertbertbert262:
12/29/17
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I think one of the unfortunate consequences of sexual topics being taboo is that many people do not have an established sense of etiquette. And, I think the anonymity and lack of visible interaction of an online forum doesn't help much.

In the past, I have been guilty of trying to sneak my fetishes & sexual proclivities into conversations with females. Now, I was much, much younger then and also very naive. But, I learned after several awkward interactions that that is not the best course of action when it comes to dealing with people. I'm not sure I would have learned that lesson by just lurking on an online fetish forum.

And, outside of the fetish community, I can remember observing other friends I had back in my school and college days. The social disasters of interactions with females were rampant. And, the level of daftness toward the stupidity of the behavior, even when brought up in later conversation, is astounding.

And, I think the "me too" movement online has merit. However, I doubt it will overcome that daftness and social ineptitude demonstrated by some.

To digress back to my original point, I really think that there needs to be more role modeling for young men, and probably young women, on managing one's self, drives, emotions, & behavior. Perhaps the conversation should focus on being at ease with others; as opposed to looking at others as an opportunity.

Anyway, those are my thoughts.
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