I recently wrote about the best slime experience I've had in my years of getting messy--one my cock still doesn't let me forget any time I walk by my homemade gunge tank on my way to my car in the morning.
I chub up as I'm walking past it, and it does take a little self control to not shoot an email about working on a project from home; make a few packets of gunge; strip off my clothes and start jerking while getting covered in goo.

I've found time to enjoy a jerk sesh under the slime vat since the first time, and I'm still really enjoying it. Dick still points straight up to the sky, hardest it can get, other than when my wife gives me a "special blowjob" (one where she spends a lot of time licking and sucking my balls). Now I still love the camaraderie of a not-sexy slime session with a buddy of mine, and had one of those recently too--I get slimed pretty often. But I can't deny how incredible a tank session now feels.

But this isn't about slime, my dick and my homemade gunge tank. This is about the best pie experience I've hadand my dick, and my homemade gunge tank.
I love getting pied. It's a more recent development in my life; I've been getting slimed a lot longer than I have been taking pies to the face, but love them equally. Pies taste delicious (I like to eat) and they feel gooey and fun when smooshed into my face. But I've always just taken pies for comic relief and general fun, nothing ever sexy about it (except that some people say I look sexy pied).

So after the gunge tank/slime/jerking experience, I figured I had to try it with pies. Why not fill the gunge tank with pie ingredients? So I made a TON of pie filling with pudding, CoolWhip and other tasty ingredients. Butt naked in the kitchen: hairy ass and chubbed up cock on full display if the neighbors wanted to peek in the windows.
I defrosted 2 giant chocolate cream pies, crumbled up a ton of graham crackers and then took everything into the garage where the tank is.

Carefully I poured the gallons of pie filling into the vat and then covered the top of the glop with the crushed up cookies. Had no idea if it would work out or not, but it aesthetically made it look like a giant pie.
As expected, I'm rock hard. I'm proud that my length is in the double digits, so I was being careful not to hit anything, or injury my dong going up and down the ladder filling the vat.
Turned on some porn, took a seat under the gallons of pie slop and enjoyed some self pleasure for a bit. Eventually, I was craving to get pied, so I went ahead and used one of the chocolate cream pies and nailed myself in the face while sitting under the tank and jerking with my other hand. Amazing feeling. 10/10 taste and the glop dropping over my body felt incredible.
I was about to reach for the cord and cover myself with pie gunk, then paused and got the remaining chocolate cream pie and placed in on the seat. I'll never forget the feeling of gooey pie squishing up and around my hairy balls and all over my butt as I sat down. Such a unique experience that I'll probably have to repeat often.

I took some of the chocolate cream filling--being careful not to get any crust--and began jerking my hard AF cock with it. Pie heaven. Dripping off my face still, me eating some, sitting in another pie and jerking my dong. Almost got too carried away and forgot about the stuff above my head.

Figured I only got one shot of getting my pie tank right, so I carefully grab the cord and continue jerking with my other hand. I'm looking straight up, super pumped for the pie to fall on me. Porn is going, I smell like delicious pie and sweat at the same time. My face and ass are feeling all gooey. And all these sensations combined bring me to a huge climax.
I grab the cord right as cum starts blasting out of my big cock and begin getting covered. Face straight up even with the body spasm, I'm getting all the pie filling. It felt like getting slimed and pied together, but a little different. "Glopped" would be the right word, and it was incredible.
The pie glop went on for a bit and I made sure to get every inch of my body. I began to see the graham crackers come out with the top layer of the gunk as the filling was nearing the end. A lot stayed stuck to the vat of course, but it was cool nonetheless to have a good amount come out with the goo and give me an all over "crust".

I sat there for a while playing in the slop, eating some of the pie not tainted by jizz or my body funk, and generally just having a great time. Laughing at myself I began to start cleaning up while my dick came back to life.
I then may or may not have scraped the remaining pie gunk out of the vat and into the discarded tins from the chocolate pies to pie myself while I jerked off a second time.
I definitely showered and went to the gym for extra cardio that day.