It was Halloween 54 years ago (or maybe 55--my memory's fuzzy on this point). My peers used "Trick or Treating" as an excuse to have a neighborhood shaving cream fight. I was too cowardly to join. For some reason, I had gone over to a neighbor's house. Three girls about my age came to the door trick-or-treating. They were absolutely covered in shaving cream, and incredibly sexy to me because of it. One of them noticed me and said, "Don't worry, we won't get you." I just stood there, too cowardly to move. I will always regret not walking out the door and saying, "Why not?"

I suppose that I have one extenuating circumstance. My mom was devoted to my brother and I, but she had the fiercest temper. She would not have understood had I come home covered in shaving cream. Nevertheless, I do not like that I acted in such a cowardly fashion.

Covering myself in shaving cream today was my way of atoning for that cowardice of 54 years ago. Besides, it was fun.