You arrive and knock on my door, and I open and let you into the house.

You're wearing a summer sundress and panties (you know.. "knickers"!), and nothing else, because I asked you to. And as you walk into the living room, feeling just a little vulnerable in the thin cotton dress, you notice that the floor, sofa, chairs and wall is protected with plastic.

I lead you to the center of the room. Why is there plastic everywhere? And why the demand to wear only a dress and undies, and no bra? Mysteries.

I lock the door, and toss your overnight bag into the other room. I walk behind you, and wrap my arms around you, and hold you close for a few moments.

But the next thing you know, and feel, are my hands under the fabric of your dress, pulling down. In a very quick and shocking movement, I slide my hands under your sundress and slide down, pulling the dress to the floor. I also grab your underclothes, and so in one fast, swift and sudden motion, pull all of your clothes to the floor.

You find yourself immediately, and totally, naked except for your earrings. You have absolutely no clothes on now, and I pick up one foot so I can take your clothes, now in a pile on the floor, and toss them aside into the other room.

So here you are. Completely naked, with your clothes dozens of feet away in another room, standing in a high-ceilinged room on a plastic tarp.

And this is where things get really, really fun. And where I get really, really evil.

This is where you notice the table full of large boxes. The kinds of boxes that might or might not contain pies, and cheesecakes, and meringues.

I open one, and take out a huge, white, gooey whipped-buttercream pie. It's at least a foot-and-a-half wide, and towering high. Holding it in my palm, I walk toward you, a very confident and smirking expression on my face.

I say, "These pies, well, I had these pies made by the baker I know by the studio. I told him that I needed some pies for the filming of a totally insane pie fight. I told him that the pies needed to be big, which they are."

And you can see how stupidly big the pie is.

"And, I told him that the pie needed to be as sticky as he could make it, and as gooey, so that whoever got this pie in the face would be absolutely, wickedly pied. The pie had to stick, and then be gooey and ooze and slide down, and also be hard to remove so that whoever took the massive pie in the face not only was covered from ear to ear and from hair to chin, but would not be able to just remove it quickly. It had to be like cake frosting, but gooey and soft and ten times as sticky. She, the baker, laughed, and said she knew what to do. And so, this pie. These pies! Oh mu god. White super-sweet whipped buttercream and very sticky meringue combo, over a layer of spun caramel. I told her to be totally evil, because I wanted to be insanely evil to the pie-target. And she was. These pie, and this pie I'm holding, was meant to be thrown at someone, and for that someone to get the ultimate, sticky, gooey, white, thick, sensual pie in the face."

"Oh, and the pie is huge enough to not only cover the victim's face, but also to blast all over their hair, and splatter their shoulders, and neck, and chest, and tits. So, I mean, you know. A totally pied target!"

And now I'm looking at you the way a cat looks at a catnip toy.

So now, you're naked in the middle of a room, on a plastic tarp on carpet, with me holding a massive gooey pie in my hand, stepping toward you, slowly.

"There's no way out of this. You have no idea why you're getting the pie, but you are so going to get this pie. In fact, the naked girl in the room is about to receive a massive, sticky, gooey, totally covering pie in the face. Want to see how fucking evil this pie is? Watch!"

I stick my index finger into the pie, and pull it out completely coated in white, and leaving a long, sticky trail before it separates back onto the pie. My finger is thickly coated with a gooey coating of pie.

I say, "Oh, man. Oh my god. I feel so sorry for the person who takes this pie in the face. Jesus. Whoever gets it is really, really going to be mercilessly plastered. Now this, oh my god, this is an epic pie for throwing."

"And this is going to be an epic, epic pie in the face. I mean, like the best and nastiest, meanest pie-hit you've ever seen in the movies but ten times as sticky and gooey. Good luck wiping your face from this delicious monster pie!"

I'm laughing!

I walk closer, and you've got no where to go, and no where to hide, and no clothes to hide behind. You are one hundred percent vulnerable and at my mercy!

So here I am, inches from you, holding a huge, huge pie that you can see to be as sticky and gooey as I describe. So now what? Will I? Won't I? Would I dare?

I mean, what kind of person would hit a naked, sexy woman in the face with a pie as massively mean and evil as this one?

Oh, you have to be kidding.

No way.

Yes. I have no hesitation, no qualms, no problem tossing this pie right into your face. A massive, on-target, pie in the face.

The last thing you see me say before your world goes thickly white is "Oh, yes. Yes, I would. And oh, yes, yes I am!"

The pie hits you with a loud platting-popping noise. It hits you square in the face, not too hard but not too gentle either. The pie is thick, insanely gooey, and starts to ooze off of you slowly almost as soon as it hits. You can feel me swirl it in circles around your face, from ear to ear, all over you, and it's all over your hair on top and sides. You've just received a massive, well-done, perfectly-tossed-and-smashed pie in the face that is very thorough.

I finally leave the crust on your face, forehead, hair, cheeks, and chin, and it oozes and slides down. You can't see, but you can feel it all over you, and you can fell it ooze in big globs and crust to land on your forearms, on your tits, and to bounce off of your stomach and thighs to land at your feet. It leaves white sticky globs where it bounces off of you, and sits very heavily on your breasts and nipples where it oozes off of your cheeks and chin. The caramel that was at the base of the pie drips all over you in thick, sticky, trails.

The pie is soft, sticky, and very heavy. You are totally, utterly, completely naked and pied.

"Now", I say, "You didn't think that one pie was enough for you, was it? Oh no. There's much more where this came from. You can't see it, but I'm holding a massive, thick, meringue. Most pies aren't good in merigue, but this meringue pie is so full of sugar and stuff that it's the stickiest, most candy-like, gooey pie the baker could make. In fact, she told me that this was the most incredibly mean and evil pie to get someone with, because once it hits, it sticks all day. She said that whoever gets pied with this meringue pie would really, really, really deserve it. She also said that she'd hate to be the one to get this pie in the face! And she laughed before she told me that whoever got his with this pie would never, ever, forget it.

So there you are. Pied already, and unable to see. Even when you wipe your eyes, the pie is so thick and sticky that it takes you many attempts to clear your vision. Your face is a hysterical humiliation of whipped buttercream and sugar caramel pie. You body is splatterd with pie, and the only thing you're wearing is a smile and some gooey dessert.

And you're about to get another huge, and evil, mean, sticky, no-fucking-around, pie in the face.

Protest all you like. It won't save you. I want to pie the hell out of you. I will pie the delicious, sexy, fuck out of you, and this is just the second of many to come.

You are about to get so amazingly pied, you have no idea.

Beg all you want. Plead. Go ahead. The more you plead and beg me not to, the more I want to let you have it.

And, in fact, I eventually trick you into saying "Let me have it!", and I do.

YOu feel the meringue pie - another huge crust but a foot or more of meringue piled up - blast you in the face, and around your head, coating your ears and hair. I smash it all over, so now you can't see and you can't hear. There's so much meringue, so much sticky white goo, steamer-trailer-white meringue in your hair and face, that from your neck to the top of your head you're completely, and thickly, white.

It's in your mouth, and all over your lips, and I relentlessly, and completely, have smashed it in circles all over you. I pied you like someone who deserved to be visciously pied, and I really, really let you have it like I have wanted to pie you forever. You can't believe how merciless and evil I am in how I pied you. I tool complete control and wasn't afraid of what you'd think. I just let you have it, and man -- I really, really, let you have it with that meringue pie but fucking good!

So you can't see, and you can barely hear, and you're naked. Bare, ass and tits and tummy and waist. You're mine, from nipples to clit, and I will have fun.

The next thing you feel is a pie on top of your head (goodbye, clean hair!!), and then two whipped buttercream pies on each breast, and I swirl and rub them all over you for as long as I can before they disintegrate and send pie and crust all over your legs and feet an the floor.

Yes. Now you're covered in gooey, hard-to-remove, pie from all of your head to your hips.

"Don't worry", I say, "We'll get you clean later. I'll get you into the shower, where I have 12 cans of shaving cream and all of the paper plates in the world to lather you from head to toe!

But what happens now? You're pied.. PIED.. from head to knees. Nude. No clothes. Exposed, and at my mercy.

I say, "Wipe your eyes, you have to see this."

You do your best, eventually clearing them enough to see me holding.... a five-gallon bucket of pure, warm, caramel.

I say, "And this is where the poor girl gets a sweet and sticky surprise...."

... to be continued? What do you think might happen next?