The theme song plays over a montage of the girls in the cast getting it:
-A topless LEXI with "PIE ME" written in cream on her tits getting splattered with pies
-LIZ dunking her head into a bucket of pink glop
-VICKY, wearing only an apron, sitting hard on a sheet cake
-AMY, naked, tied to the posts of a bed while melted ice cream is slowly poured over her head
-SASHA SPARKS, naked and covered in chocolate, on all fours with her legs spread as a well-thrown pie explodes over her pussy

Scene 1: link set with LIZ and LEXI. Both are sitting on the step and wearing sundresses. LEXI is leaning forward, elbows on her knees, so that her arms lightly press her breasts together. LIZ is leaning back warily
LEXI: I'm so excited to have the gang all back together!
LIZ: Yeah, I guess. Ask me, this just seems like a big excuse to cover us in glop.
LEXI beams: Exactly!
LIZ smiles: Okay, I will admit that I missed you. Anyway, what do you think about the theme for this week?

AMY bounces into the scene, also wearing a sundress

AMY: I love it! If the producers wanna see some ass, I'm more than happy to show 'em!

Saying this, AMY pulls up the back of her skirt and bends over. She's not wearing any underwear, and the camera gets a good, long look at her - all of her. LIZ and LEXI look at each other and snicker

SASHA, from off-camera: HOLD ON, HOLD ON! Amy, did you show up here commando?
AMY gives one last wiggle then flips her skirt back down: Yeah, of course. What? The theme for the week is 'ass.' Wardrobe only said to wear a sundress. I figured this was what you wanted.

SASHA storms onto the set and gets in AMY's face

SASHA: No, no, no, no. This show has class, Amy! We have integrity! We can't just start out by flashing the whole entire world!

LIZ and LEXI snicker louder

AMY pouts: Aw, c'mon, Sash - you can't tell me that that didn't get anybody out there hard. Or, y'know, wet.

Water drops heavily all at once onto AMY, instantly flattening her blonde hair and soaking her dress. A good deal of the splashback hits SASHA, who stands dripping angrily

SASHA: That's it. Just for you, Amy, I'm putting a special rule into place. For the rest of this episode, whenever you say "ass," yours is getting a smack.
AMY: Oh yeah? What happened to this show having class?

A stagehand runs onstage, lifts Amy's damp skirt, spanks her firmly, and runs off

AMY blushes, her mouth open in shock: Oh. My. God! I didn't even say a- I mean, I didn't say it!

LIZ and LEXI are now laughing silently, clutching their sides

SASHA: You sure did. "Class" has "ass" in it, so you got spanked like the bad girl you are. Now hopefully you'll see that I'm not kidding about how I run this show.
AMY, fuming: You said I'd get hit if I said 'ASS,' not ANY WORD THAT HAS 'ASS' IN IT!

Realizing her mistake too late, she hides her face in her hands as the stagehand runs back on to smack both of her cheeks

SASHA: Now if you've had enough, Amy, come with me and we'll find you something to wear.

Head down, AMY leaves with SASHA, leaving LIZ and LEXI alone. After a moment, they both burst out laughing

LIZ: Oh, man! That was so good. You're right, I totally missed this.
LEXI gets a mischievous look: I know! Me too! I just wonder where Vicky is. It's strange of her to be so late.
LIZ wipes a tear from her eye: Yeah, you're right, I don't know what could be keeping her.

LIZ has time to sigh contentedly before a torrent of green slime lands on her forehead, jolting her out of her satisfaction and quickly dousing her head, shoulders, and cleavage in runny slop. The flow slows to a trickle before it stops, giving LIZ time to nod to herself

LIZ spits out a dribble of slime: Okay, now I remember the problem.

LEXI laughs so hard she falls over

LIZ smirks: I'll get you for this...

Scene 2: fine restaurant with Vicky and Lexi. Vicky, the waitress, is dressed in a black skirt and a white button-down shirt. Lexi, the customer, is wearing a torn t-shirt and cutoff jean shorts
LEXI: Well, I'm glad you finally showed up.
VICKY, breaking character: I'm sorry, okay? There was a lot of traffic, and-
LEXI: No, no - I'm glad you finally showed up. The service here is just terrible.
SASHA, muttering to herself off-camera: God help me...
VICKY: Oh! Oh, right. Well, miss, I do apologize, but I have to say that you haven't exactly made my job any easier. You're flagrantly violating our dress code, you continue to insist on ordering dishes we don't have, you've been chatting loudly on your phone, and frankly I've had just about enough of it. I think you're ready for some dessert.

VICKY reaches for a pie, but LEXI cuts her off

LEXI: Oh, you think it's been a treat on my side? C'mon, let me show you what I've been going through.
VICKY: Uh-

LEXI stands up, gently places a hand on the small of VICKY's back, and guides her into her seat

LEXI: Here - pretend you're me. You're going out to treat yourself, and all you want is to have a good meal at a fair price. So, miss, what would you care to choose from our drink selection?
VICKY glances nervously at the menu: I, um - oh, gosh, these drinks are all so expensive. Maybe I'll just have water.
LEXI picks up an elegant silver pitcher full of water: Happy to oblige!

LEXI pours the pitcher slowly and evenly over VICKY's face and the top of her head. She passes the water back and forth several times before the pitcher is finally empty. When it is, VICKY slicks back her hair

LEXI: Now, miss, what would you like for dessert?
VICKY: But I haven't even had the chance to order dinner yet! What if I wanted the, the... She looks again at the menu The rump roast? Or the trio of shepherd's pies? Or the-

LEXI rudely interrupts her by slamming a cream pie into her face, then follows up with a pie sandwich

VICKY again slicks her hair back, then clears her eyes: Y'know, I think I'll just take the check.
LEXI: Nonsense! You simply must try one of our dessert specials.
VICKY: No I really think I'd prefer the check.
LEXI looks around: Hmm. We seem to be all out of you-know-whats, but I'm sure we have something that would be appropriate for a lovely lady such as yourself. She spots a group of four buckets sitting in the wings, each of which is filled with chocolate slime Aha! I have just the thing.

With some difficulty, LEXI picks up one of the buckets, carries it over to VICKY, and poises it above her head

VICKY looks up: You're not just going to let me go without dessert, are you.
LEXI grins from ear to ear: Not a chance, babe.
VICKY sighs: Fine. Go ahead and let me have it.

LEXI dumps the entire bucket of chocolate on VICKY, leaving her totally covered. When the bucket is empty, she turns it upside down and places it over VICKY's head

LEXI: Now do you see what I mean? This place is one big trap! Frankly, I'm surprised you evil, evil people get any customers at all.
VICKY, from inside the bucket: You don't say...

Scene 3: firing squad. AMY is bent over in stocks wearing only a pink micro g-string. SASHA stands next to her in camo pants and a tank top, wielding a riding crop

AMY: I thought these firing squad sketches had the victim standing up.
SASHA: Yes, well, given the theme of the episode, I thought that this would be more appropriate.

She slowly and lightly traces the curves of Amy's ass with her riding crop, making her squirm

AMY: Look, can't we work this out? It was an honest mistake, I swear. Can't you just give me a pass? SMACK Owwww!
SASHA: No more talking back, Amy. Not only did you arrive late for the first sketch, you shamelessly flashed our whole audience. But worst of all, by not wearing any underwear, you distracted from the theme of the show!
AMY: What??
SASHA moves her riding crop slowly down Amy's ass crack until it's nestled between her legs: This is the ass episode, Amy, and that means I want our viewers focused on your ass. When it's time for the pussy episode, then you can flaunt your little exhibitionist side. She leans in close to Amy's ear Personally, I don't know how you expect anyone to look away from your beautiful little cunt. I could look at it all day. She presses the riding crop into Amy's pussy, making her gasp and blush Now do you understand?
AMY: I - I do.
SASHA taps her ass cheek a couple times: Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a show to see to.
AMY twists in the stocks to see where SASHA's going: Wait! You can't just leave me here like this!
SASHA pauses: Y'know what? You're right.

She reaches offstage and pulls a pie-laden cart next to AMY's backside. Then she puts down the riding crop, picks up a pie, and yanks AMY's g-string as hard as she can. AMY rises to her tiptoes and yelps, then yelps again as SASHA spanks her viciously with the pie. It's a beautiful hit: thick, smooth cream slathers AMY's naked ass, spatters up onto her lower back, and splurts out onto her inner thighs. Pieces of crust slide slowly down AMY's ass cheeks, leaving streaks of shiny white on her calves as they fall to the floor. There are even globs of cream on the tiny pink cloth covering AMY's pussy. For good measure, SASHA pulls the g-string back and forth, making sure that AMY really feels it, then grabs one more pie and approaches AMY's furiously blushing face

SASHA squats in front of AMY and holds the pie up for her to see: Clearly I couldn't have left you like that if you still didn't know not to talk back to me. Without further warning, she plasters AMY with the pie, rubbing it into her face and depositing the tin on top of her head. As Amy gasps, SASHA takes some of the cream and stuffs it in her mouth Now I can leave you. Oh - and that g-string is a mess. See wardrobe for a new pair of underwear before your next sketch.

SASHA exits as AMY whimpers, cream dribbling from her mouth

Scene 4: link set. VICKY and LIZ are prepping specially filled pies for later in the show: chocolate, cherry, custard, and more. They've both been cleaned off, and they're both wearing simple jeans and tank tops
LIZ: Just like old times, huh?
VICKY: Tell me about it.
LIZ: I forgot how ditzy Amy is.
VICKY: Not to mention how tricky Lexi is.
LIZ: Oh my god - did she get you, too?
VICKY: Yep. Let's put it this way: I ended our restaurant sketch with a bucket on my head.
LIZ winces: Oh, girl, not that.
VICKY: Yep. She got me good. How about you?
LIZ: Just a sliming, but still, it was totally uncalled-for.

The two go quiet for a moment as they remember their humiliations at LEXI's hands

LIZ looks at the line of pies and empty pie tins stretched before them, then leans in conspiratorially: ...are you thinking what I'm thinking?
VICKY grins: Maaaaaybe.
LIZ: It sure would be a shame if one... or two... or twelve of these landed in Lexi's face by the end of the show.
VICKY: But what are we gonna do about Sasha? If she finds out, she's gonna be so pissed.
LIZ: She's too busy worrying about Amy. She won't even know.
VICKY: Yeah - yeah, you're right! Let's fill these up really high! I want to see her covered.

LIZ and VICKY high-five and get back to work, piling fillings and cream as high as they can

Scene 5: schoolroom. LIZ and AMY are seated at desks wearing schoolgirl outfits that are far too short, revealing just a glimpse of their panties and plenty of cleavage, while SASHA is posed in front of a blackboard wearing a smart navy skirt and a white silk shirt. LIZ remains clean, but AMY still has pie cream in her hair and on her thighs

SASHA: Class, the time has come for your final exam. As you know, this school does things a little differently than most. The first student to raise her hand will get to answer first. If you get a question right, the other girl will be pied as a punishment for her sloth - but if you get a question wrong, you'll be pied as a punishment for your ignorance. The girl who gets the most correct answers will graduate, while the loser - er, the other girl - will stay for, shall we say, remedial lessons.

AMY and LIZ nod attentively, both playing the role of the schoolgirl

SASHA: Very good. Now, who can give me a botanical nickname for marijuana that's-
AMY's hand shoots up: Ooh! Me! Me!
SASHA: Very well. Amy.
AMY: Weed!
SASHA bends beneath her teacher's desk and retrieves a pie: I'm sorry, Amy, but that's not the answer I was looking for.
AMY: What! But-

She's silenced by SASHA's finger on her lips. As AMY pouts, SASHA gently places her hand on the back of AMY's head and then lovingly pies her in the face

SASHA: Now, if you'd let me finish my question, you would have known that I was looking for a botanical nickname for marijuana that's five letters long. Liz, do you know the answer?
LIZ sits up in her seat eagerly: Is it grass?
SASHA: Very good, Liz!

Just as AMY clears her eyes and wipes the pie cream away, SASHA again tilts AMY's head back and plops another pie onto her upturned face

SASHA: For the second question: force equals acceleration times what?
LIZ raises her hand: Mass?
SASHA: Very good, LIZ!
AMY: Wait! I wasn't ready!

This time, SASHA tosses a chocolate-filled pie from behind her desk. Half of it covers AMY's face, and the other have falls perfectly onto her tits, turning everything from her nipples up into a shiny swirl of white and brown

SASHA: Nobody will wait until you're ready in the real world, Amy. If you want something from life, you have to take it, just like you're taking all those pies to the face. Question three: which actor starred in Knight Rider? Yes, Amy?
AMY: Was that Tom Selleck?

In reply, SASHA simply tsks, unbuttons the top of AMY's schoolgirl shirt, and upends a caramel pie all over her breasts. Then she closes the buttons again so that the sticky, slippery mess has nowhere to go and massages it into AMY's tits while AMY groans

SASHA: How about you, LIZ? Any guesses?
LIZ shrugs: Y'know, I don't know who that was.

Green slime cascades down onto LIZ. She hunches forward to escape the worst of it, but then leans back into the flow resignedly when SASHA makes a disappointed hmming noise. After a few seconds, the flow stops, but before LIZ can wipe herself off, SASHA pies her in the face for getting the answer wrong

LIZ lets the slime and pie cream drip down her face as she deadpans: But I probably should've guessed, huh.
SASHA: Very much so. Incidentally, the correct answer was David Hasselhoff. Now, on to question four.
AMY: Hold on, I see what's happening here. This game is rigged! Grass, mass, Hasselhoff - these are all answers that have "ass" in them!
SASHA: Oh dear, Amy, have you forgotten our little deal?

AMY blushes and stammers, but to no avail. SASHA forcibly shifts her out of her seat and bends her over her desk so that her ass is facing the camera. Then she lifts up AMY's skirt, revealing cute white panties with a tiny bow at the top of the back. She gathers these with one hand, gives AMY another hard wedgie, then proceeds to spank her four times. When she's done, she leaves a humiliated AMY to fix her underwear, pull down her skirt, and retake her seat

SASHA: Now, if there's no more misbehavior from the class, we can get to the next question: what's the name for a contract killer who's a part of an organized crime family?
AMY sighs and raises her hand: Lemme guess - an ASS-ASS-in?
SASHA picks up three pies and stands in front of AMY's desk: See here, little missy, I do not appreciate your attitude. Stand up, bend over, and pull your skirt up.
AMY: But! But!
SASHA: NOW!

A flustered AMY obeys, standing up, turning to face the camera, bending over so that her upper body is braced by her desk, and then hiking up her skirt to show her reddened ass and her same pristine white panties

SASHA: Not only did you get the question wrong, you earned yourself two spankings. Liz, care to take a guess before I administer Amy's well-deserved punishment?
LIZ: An assassin isn't really a crime-family thing. I'd guess hitman?
SASHA nods as she drops one pie onto the back of AMY's head, rubbing it into her hair: We also would've accepted hatchet man. Well done, Liz. You'll be moving on to the next class! Unfortunately, I can't say the same for you, Amy. Now hold still and take it like a woman.

SASHA pulls down AMY's panties just enough to expose her ass, leaving a thin strip of cloth over her cunt, which is beginning to pulse with AMY's nervousness. SASHA rears the first pie back and slams it into AMY's backside, coating her with cream and cherry filling. She starts the second pie at the top of AMY's ass crack and slowly slathers it down and around, pressing cream into her crevices and making sure that no skin is left uncovered. Then she tosses the tin aside and pulls AMY's panties back up, trapping the mess against her anus and her hot, swollen cunt

SASHA: I think that does it for today, class. Amy, I see that you've managed to soil your panties again. We'll address that along with your other shortcomings after class. Liz, you're free to go.

LIZ happily jumps up and skips out of the room while AMY squirms against the desk

Scene 6: LEXI, dressed in tight jeans and a loose-fitting tank top, is alone with a white plastic chair that has a gigantic pink-and-white frosted cake on it. The cake frosting is practically dripping down the sides. Meanwhile, VICKY and LIZ watch from the wings

LEXI turns her back to the camera, giving us a good view of the jeans hugging her ass, and slowly approaches the chair. She places a hand on one of the plastic arms and bends from the waist until her face is just above the cake's surface. She turns her head to the camera and bites her lower lip, but then she straightens up again.

VICKI whispers: She's gonna get it, right?
LIZ whispers back: I mean, she has to. A solo scene with that monster of a cake? There's no way she gets out clean.

LEXI spreads her legs and runs her hands down her sides, over her ass, and across her inner thighs, then gives herself a playful spank. Swaying her hips, she unbuttons and unzips the jeans, then slowly strips out of them, revealing a black skintight pair of leggings underneath. Her panty lines can be seen clearly through the thin fabric. She reaches back, grabs a handful of her own ass, and squeezes it. Then she approaches the cake again

LIZ: Here it comes.

LEXI turns to face the camera, spreads her legs wide, and drops her ass down - just above the top of the cake. Hovering just over the waiting cake, she swings her hips forward and backward, starting to breathe heavily. Her nipples stiffen against her thin cotton tank top and she rolls her head back

LIZ: Here it comes!
VICKY: Do you mean here she cums?

Abruptly, LEXI stands back up, walks a few steps forward, turns her back to the camera, bends over, and yanks down her leggings. Underneath is a white lace thong that shows of her ass perfectly. She straightens just enough that you can still see the curve of her pussy between her legs, and then she slides the sides of her panties up and down, giving glimpses but never pulling them all the way down. Still facing backwards, she straddles the chair and bounces up and down just above the surface of the cake before shuddering and slowly straightening up. She bends over one last time, sliding one finger along the top of the cake and then sucking off the frosting

LEXI approaches the camera and leans forward so that you can see down her tank top: Was it good for you?

LEXI exits, while LIZ and VICKY stare at one another, dumbfounded

LIZ: Oh, now we definitely have to give it to her.

Scene 7: link set. All four girls are present, each wearing a different color bikini. LIZ is in yellow, LEXI is in white, AMY is in pink, and VICKY is in blue

LEXI: Y'know, for a first episode, that wasn't so bad.
LIZ, VICKY, and AMY in unison: Are you kidding?
LEXI: No, seriously! You all did great! I think the viewers are gonna have a lot of fun.
LIZ looks at VICKY: Okay, that does it. Enough's enough.

VICKY nods, and the two of them reach behind the stepped area of the link set to pull out two huge, heaping pies apiece. The pies are so sloppy and overfilled that whipped cream drops onto each girl's forearms

AMY: Ooh! Got any more back there for me?
LIZ grins wickedly: Help yourself!

AMY reaches down and grabs the cake from the previous scene, which is so massive that she has to use both hands to hold it. She, VICKY, and LIZ look at one another and then, without a word, begin to advance on LEXI

LEXI: Whoa, whoa, whoa - I don't know why you all have it in for me, but we can work this out!

Before they can answer, green slime slops down onto LEXI, who lifts her face into it before holding out her arms and shaking her head as the slime pounds down on top of her, covering her tits and trickling down the front of her bikini bottom and her thighs. As the slime slows, LEXI instinctively starts to rub herself, running both hands over her breasts, feeling her stiff nipples, and even allowing one hand to stray down between her legs

VICKY: That's a good start, but I still owe you!
LIZ: Me too!
AMY: And I'm just happy that it's not me for once!

The three of them surround the thoroughly slimed and quite distracted LEXI and hold up their various desserts, tensed to utterly demolish her, until SASHA stomps onto the set

SASHA: ALRIGHT, WHAT'S ALL THIS! The four of you are going to ruin me, I swear! Can't you do one simple thing right? This last sketch was supposed to be a best-ass contest where all you had to do was turn around and not say anything or move anywhere! But now look at you! Liz, Amy, Vicky - put those down! I want all four of you on your knees, asses to the camera, NOW!

Humbled, all four girls comply. As SASHA makes sure that they're all arranged at the right angles and with their legs spread apart at the right distance, stagehands bring out the three buckets of chocolate from before and the rest of the extra-large pies that LIZ and VICKY made. They place the buckets in front of LIZ, VICKY, and AMY. Not knowing what happened to the fourth bucket, they put the gigantic pink-and-white cake down in front of LEXI.

SASHA surveys the sight before her, licks her lips, and winks at the camera: I swear, I'll teach you girls to behave if it's the last thing I do.

She starts by pushing LIZ's head into her bucket, ruining her plans for revenge and dunking her into the chocolate slime. Then she takes one of LIZ's super-sloppy pies and slaps it into her ass. She repeats this process two more times, dunking her and then spanking her. By the end, LIZ is covered in chocolate from her tits up and slathered in pie cream and custard from the waist down.

Next SASHA moves on to VICKI. She places a wet, dripping pie underneath VICKI's upturned ass, puts one hand on either side of VICKI's hips, and slams her down into the pie. While VICKI's mouth is still open in shock, SASHA pies her in the face, sending cream and chocolate spurting into her open mouth, and then dunks her into the chocolate.

AMY is up next. SASHA takes one look at her, scoffs, and yanks her bikini bottoms down. AMY yelps, but SASHA isn't done. She spanks AMY rudely, three times on each side, then flips her onto her back so that her slippery cunt is directly exposed to the camera.

SASHA: You want us to see it so bad? There. Now we see it.

AMY blushes so hard that she becomes lightheaded. SASHA takes advantage of her helplessness by sticking two fingers inside her and gently pressing her pussy lips open. Then, while AMY moans, SASHA pies AMY right in her open pussy with her other hand, filling AMY with pie cream and pink icing. AMY twitches but doesn't make any move to resist as SASHA pies her again and then picks up the bucket of chocolate and methodically covers AMY with it completely. To finish her off, SASHA takes one last pie, holds it out over AMY's gasping, chocolate-covered face, and flips it over, watching it splat straight down onto her, overwhelming her completely.

Last, but certainly not least, SASHA moves on to LEXI. She kneels by LEXI's head and slowly guides it down towards the top of the cake until LEXI's nose is just touching the icing.

SASHA murmurs: What do you think? Should I spare you?
LEXI: No, please no. It's been so long. Give it to me. Let me fucking have it.

With a satisfied smile on her face, SASHA dunks LEXI's head down into the cake, then pulls it up immediately so that she can see her gasp. Then she lowers it again, only more slowly, letting LEXI feel herself sink deeper into the mess. By the time LEXI reaches the bottom, her whole head is covered in thick, heavy slop. SASHA leaves it there and moves to her ass, where she notes that her bikini bottoms already show a wet patch. She gives LEXI a good grope through the fabric, then pulls the bottoms open and dumps a cream pie inside. LEXI pants and moans as she presses herself into the cake slop, and SASHA helps her along by vigorously rubbing the front of her bikini, sloshing the pie filling around and teasing LEXI's swollen pussy lips. SASHA slaps one more pie into LEXI's chest, taking the opportunity to squeeze and tweak her breasts through her bikini top, and then steps back to watch as LEXI shoves a hand inside her bottoms and gives herself a bone-shaking orgasm

With her four subordinates thus disposed of, SASHA turns to the camera and dusts off her hands

SASHA: I think that just about does it for our first episode, don't you, folks? I wouldn't want to miss the next one if I were you!