A WAM club.

Nobody had heard of one before, and yet there it had been, "under construction" for several months along the sea front. Now the "under construction" sign was gone and replaced with "opening soon."

The first anyone had heard of it officially was a small classified ad on a website dedicated to forfeit games, from strip poker through to wet and messy forfeits and beyond.

"The WAM club," it read. "We are proud to announce the opening of the first ever WAM club in the country. Make your way through the various fiendish games and quizzes with your friends (or complete strangers if you prefer) and pay the price if you lose. Get splattered with pies, go into gunk and dunk tanks, get placed in the stocks, get stripped of your clothes, do everything you always wanted to do and never could - and no-one need ever know. We are running a competition where groups of friends can win the chance of trying out the experience free of charge prior to our grand opening. For details of how to enter, see below."

Darren had read below and talked to his friends James and Peter about it. It was rather difficult to broach the subject. They had only got messy once, but Darren had never forgotten it. It had been about eight years earlier, a silly food fight at the end of a drunken night at university, but Darren thought that his old uni friends might just be up for reliving the days when they could do stupid, daft things without a pang of guilt.

He had approached the subject one night at the pub: "Hey, you remember that night in halls..." and then showed them the clipping. He hadn't expected anything except ridicule for his suggestion, but was surprised when they both said that it would "be a laugh." They hadn't seen each other that much since uni, keeping in contact mostly through Facebook these days, despite living in the same town. Peter was married and had a child now, James seemed to keep his private life very private, and Darren was gay and single. The other two knew this, and he had wondered if that would have made a difference to their decision, but apparently not.

When Darren got an email to say that he had won the chance to try out the new attraction, he wondered if he had done the right thing. "No need to bring anything with you," the email said, "except a change of clothes!" At the end of the email it said in big letters "no cameras allowed, and no sex or masturbation permitted."

When Darren messaged James and Peter, he got the semi-expected replies of "I can't believe you actually entered the competition!" but the three of them decided that they would go through with it anyway.

When they went to the club a couple of weeks later, all three were a little apprehensive. A notice on the front door told them that "all visitors should use the back door." They wandered around to the back of the building and knocked on the back door. A woman answered the door.

"You must be our first players," she said.

When they were all inside, she sat them down and told them that it wasn't too late to back out of the trial game. She made sure that, if they played the games properly, some of them could end up wet, messy, and even naked. They hadn't seen each other naked before, and none of them were particularly keen on this aspect, but guessed they'd probably end up in communal showers at the end anyway. She also said that there might be some other surprises along the way.

"There are no cameras," she said. "We have designed this so that there is no need for them. We respect your privacy. And the only other rule is no sex or masturbation. We are very strict about this."

She led them down a small corridor.

"This is where you go in. Your change of clothes, towels etc will be waiting for you at the end of the final game. Good luck, and just go through the door when you're ready."

Darren, James and Peter looked at each other as if to say "here goes!" and walked through the door. The room was quite dark, and a large screen was on the far wall, and three pedestals in the middle of the room. Suddenly, the large screen lit up.

"In front of you are three pedestals. You must stand on them, and using the buttons in front of you pick the right answers to the following questions. Get one wrong..."

Not knowing what to expect, the three lads took a pedestal each, and saw that the buttons were labelled A, B and C. As soon as they were on the pedestal, a question appeared on the big screen with three possible answers.

"This is easy!" Peter said, and the others agree with him, with them all getting it right.

The second question was harder, but they still got it right. The third, though, was something that nobody would know - something about how many miles a planet was from the sun. They realised that they had been lured in with a false sense of security and, from now, it was all going to be down to luck! They each pressed their button and the screen showed that Darren and Peter had both selected A, whereas James had selected C.

"One of those answers is wrong," the screen said, and started counting down from 5. As it hit zero, a jet of water emerged from under the screen and hit James square in the chest, soaking his shirt. "A was the correct answer" the screen said.

"You don't say," James said, not amused.

Darren and Peter thought James getting soaked was hilarious.

"Hey, Darren, this is turning out better than I thought!"

"You're arseholes," James said, "it will be you two next!"

They knew he was probably right.

The fourth question appeared on the screen. Once again it was pure guess-work, and once again James lost. He braced himself for the water to hit his chest again, but this time the jet that shot out of the wall hit his crotch instead, soaking his jeans. Darren and Peter thought it was great.

"Last question of the round," the screen said.

This time James and Darren chose the same answer, with Peter choosing a different one. This time it was Peter who was soaked, with the water coming from the ceiling and covering him.

Darren was very proud of himself. One game down, and the only one of the three to not have got soaked. Any feelings of self-consciousness between the three were now gone - they were in this now, and they had to get out the other side.

Suddenly a door opened and they got off the pedestals and walked into the next room. There was another screen in this room, as well as three clear plastic cubicles, each one with a seat. The screen told them each to take a seat. This time the screen was display a playing card, and the idea was to guess whether the next was higher or lower.

Darren had to start. He was shown a 5, and guessed higher, which was correct. James was now faced with an 8. Lower. And correct. Peter had a 4. Higher. Correct again. Play was back with Darren. Jack. Lower. Suddenly a siren sounded and a bucket of gunge poured from above and covered his head and shirt.

James and Peter laughed uncontrollably.

"About fucking time!" James shouted. Darren replied with a raised middle finger.

The third room contained a large sunken pit, each one filled with slime. Looks like we're all getting covered this time," Peter said.

The screen lit up.

"Final game. Each of you must enter the pit and try to find the token, The winner is the first person to find the token and hold it up in the air and then shout the name of one of the other players. The loser will be the person whose name you call."

"What happens to the loser?" Darren asked.

There seemed to be no answer given, but all three knew that it would be in their best interests not to lose.

"Our clothes are going to be ruined," Peter said.

"I think they already are," came the reply.

A countdown timer came up on the screen, and the three of them made their way to the side of the pit.

3
2
1

As the timer hit zero, a klaxon sounded, and the floor around the side of the pit where they were standing started tilting, and they found themselves slipping into the gunge.

"Not much of an option, was there?" James said as they stood waist high in the gunge.

"All I know is I'm not going to lose this one," Darren said, and he started rooting around in the mess to find the token. James and Peter followed suit.

Darren guessed that the token must have been on the bottom of the pit, and started dunking himself under the gunge in order to try to find it.

"This is not fun," James said.

Eventually, Darren's hand struck what felt like a large coin, and he lifted it up and out of the gunge, cleaning it off to make sure it was what they were looking for. The others had no idea he had it, and he stood there trying to work out who to nominate as the loser. Eventually, he held the token above his head and shouted

"James!"

The other two looked up.

"You bastard," James said, only half in jest.

Suddenly two exits became visible. The first was marked "winners" and the other was "loser." The three of them climbed out of the gunge and went their separate ways. Darren and Peter found themselves in a shower room, complete with towels and their clean clothes.

"What are they doing to James?" Peter asked.

"No idea, but I'm getting showered and cleaned up while we have the chance."

Ten minutes later, they were showered and dressed.

"How do we get out?" asked Darren.

Again, an exit suddenly became visible, and they walked through the door. What they saw next sent them into fits of laughter. There was James, stark naked, and strapped inside a chair.

"How did you end up there?" Darren asked.

"Don't ask," James replied.

"Oh my God, he's getting a boner," Peter said.

"You often get one when men see you naked?" Darren joked.

James remained quiet.

As in the other rooms, there was a giant screen.

"James is the ultimate loser today," it said. "To the side of him are twenty containers, each containing a different food or drink. James will be asked to decide whether the playing card on the screen will be red or black. Each time he gets one wrong, he must choose a number and that container should be poured over him."

"Oh, man," Peter said. "WE get to cover him. This is great!"

James was less enthusiastic - as if sitting there naked with his two friends fully clothed wasn't embarrassing enough, he was now going to get covered yet again.

The first blank card came up on the screen.

"First of ten," the screen said.

"Red," James said reluctantly.

Slowly the face of the card was shown. Black.

"Pick a number," the screen said.

"What if I refuse?"

"Then you get them all," the screen said.

"Great. Ok, no.7."

Peter eagerly picked up the container, took the top off and peered inside.

"What is it? " James whimpered.

"Not going to tell you."

"On his head, I think," Darren said.

Peter nodded, and dolloped the container full of yoghurt over James's head.

"For fuck's sake," James cried out. "That's disgusting."

Peter and Darren thought it was hilarious.

James got the next two cards right, but then the fourth one of the ten was wrong.

"Number 17," James said.

This time Darren was ready to do the pouring. Peter looked inside.

"Oh wow, that's got to go over his cock."

Darren agreed, and the now-melting ice cream landed in James's lap. James started to freak out.

"That's cold! I'll get frost bite!"

"Well, it looked like you needed a cold shower," Peter retorted.

Everything went James's way in the game after that until the final three cards, all of which he got wrong. He chose number 1, which turned out to be a tin of spaghetti. The lads thought this would be fun to pour over James's chest, as they felt the spaghetti would feel rather disgusting as it made its way down his rather hairy chest and towards his crotch. They weren't wrong.

Next up was number 20. None of them really knew what the green substance was, but it wasn't as bad as some of the others they had all endured. Finally was number 15 - cold, thick gravy. Darren took great delight in pouring it from a great right over James's cock.

At the end of that, James was released automatically from the chair and was told to go and get showered and changed.

Darren and Peter went back into their own changing room and sat down on one of the benches.

"That was fun," Darren said. "But nobody is to know about it. Ever."

"Agreed," Peter said.

"I hate to say it, though, I'm as horny as hell."

"Me, too. I'm going in a cubicle for a wank while we wait."

"I'll join you....but in a different cubicle, of course."

The boys went into the cubicles and started jerking off.

"How's it going?" Peter called over the door,

"Nearly there," Darren said.

"Me, too."

Darren jerked his cock as quick as he could and then moaned loudly as he came. The lights in his cubicle went off, and the words "Penalty for sex or masturbation" appeared on the door in front of him. Suddenly gunge seemed to come out of every wall and the ceiling, completely covering him.

He was in shock, and only now remembered the warning he had been given when he arrived. How was he going to get home now? His spare clothes were ruined! He opened the door of the cubicle and walked out into the changing area. He looked over to the shower area and, to his dismay, a notice now read "out of order."

Darren suddenly remember Peter.

"Just ten more seconds," he heard Peter saying. "Any second now..."

"Don't cum!" Darren cried out, but then the lights went off in Peter's cubicle, and Darren knew what had happened.

Peter stumbled out into the changing rooms.

"What now?"

Suddenly, a door opened and James walked in, now showered and in clean clothes.

"Are you guys ready to go," he said as he walked into the room. Then he saw his two friends.
"I guess not," he said. "I'll see you two later!" he added, laughing uncontrollably as he walked out of the building.

"Hey! Don't leave us here!" Darren yelled.

"Don't miss the last train," came the reply.