The seven remaining students sweated under the studio lights. They awaited the audience's vote. We can exclusively reveal that our winner is.Danielle!

The Welsh rower forgot her topless state long enough to punch the air. The audience got another flash of the contours of her small breasts.

Second place is.Hanako. The slim, Japanese-born girl smiled and giggled with relief; nodding a small bow of thanks to the TV audience.

Finallythe camera panned the line of young faces. Stephanie, scowling and resigned. Blonde Ali, with a steadfast slight smile. Harrie, her fiery scarlet hair messily framing a wide-eyed, apprehensive face. Brown-haired Croat Ivona was a shaking sack of nerves compared with entirely relaxed Maia.
And third place goes to
..Harrie!

Harrie cheered deliriously, her naked frame bouncing up and down with delight. Poor Ivona had lost the third place that the judges had given her. She looked shell-shocked.
"Without adieu I think we'll set up this super head to head!"

The stage-lights flickered to reveal the five remaining students sat on rough wooden stools. Chubby Scot Stephanie looked petrified in just her pink underwear. Ivona had removed her socks and shoes and rolled up her punky tartan trousers. Blonde Ali was still denim shorted, dangling her long-slender legs. Even Maia had let go of her precious high tops, her tattooed and chunky legs exposed beneath her boyish boxer shorts. Maia's torso was still a beautiful mass of clinging liquid latex painted to resemble van Gogh's sky at night.

"The aim of this game is for each of these girls to use their feet and their brains to decide what item of food has been placed underneath them."
"So without further a do, let's deprive them of some of their senses."
What followed was the now customary ritual of each girl having their hands cuffed behind the chairs; leaving them immobilised. Added to this were black cloth blindfolds, headphones and most bizarrely of allnose clips!
Inside her own little bubble, Ivona squirmed. The butterflies in her stomach had turned to frenziedly thrashing seagulls. As the pot was placed in front of her she tentatively lifted her small little feet and dipped her toes into the mixture. It felt cold, thick, slimy butsomething else. There were areas that felt like pumice or soft stones.
Above the dreadful Muzak piped in through the headphones a voice asked her: "A dish of French origin. However the English translation of this is."
The penny dropped"Floating Islands" Ivona murmured breathlessly. The small stones were obviously meringues.
Stephanie was one seat along from Ivona and was not handling the sensory deprivation well. Her response to the first question was a muttered "Wha-". Now her custard-splashed feet were doing mini-shuttle runs on the cold floor out of sheer nerves.

Now her headphones intoned a deep and full-throated gurgle that chilled Stephanie to the very core of her ditzy self. She felt the first few drops of cold, viscous liquid on her head. What followed was a slow, implacable cascade that dripped down from the crown of her head. Her body was contorting. Her mouth was screaming, but no words reached her ears over the noise limiting headphones. She got a gulp of the substance and the lumpy, cheap-tasting custard brought back harsh memories of the cold, institutional boarding school that her parents had sent her to. Everything that she was rebelling against with the vodka and kebabs. The horrible mixture dribbled down over her chin and dripped disgustingly onto her pendulous breasts.

Ali was still burning with rage at how her friend Kris had been humiliated by Lucinda in the last round. She was able to calmly and clear-headedly say "floating islands". Now it was onto the second substance. The next bucket was placed in front of her and she dipped her toes in. It was cold. More liquidy than the last bucket. The question came "A Spanish delicacy, this soup is normally served cold" Ali had waited on enough tables to excitedly say "Gazpacho!". She was clean and there were only three buckets remained.

Maia's knowledge of fancy food was rather below par. Unsurprisingly her sodden, sticky hair clung to her forehead. She thrust her feet into the strange, squishy mush of the third bucket. There was something liquid, alongside a few unsubstantial solids fairly obviously fresh warm chip shop chips!
"Right then this is different, only one person can get this right how many of the raw ingredients of this dish are made into the finished article that you are soaking your feet into at this very minute?"
The sensory deprivation made this an extremely weird experience "Fuck I don't know!!" Maia shouted, though it registered as a whisper through the noise limiter headphones "One-and-a-half-million tonnes!"
"CORRECT now Maia you have to choose which chip shop condiments or sauces to dispense on the other unfortunate girls"
Maia gave a wicked giggle "Oh ermcurry sauce on Ali to match her dirty blonde hair colour, gravy on Ivona andmushy peas on Stephanie."

From the audience's view they saw the various gelatinous messes dumped onto the heads of the disorientated students. Ivona howled at her first proper gunging shaking her head with dismay. Inside the sensory deprived confines of her mind the Croatian girl was mentally unprepared for this task. She had nevertheless only being splattered once. The bowl of chips was removed from her and she tentatively placed her toes into the fourth bucket.
It was thick. Way thicker than the last. She edged her feet in, feeling the thick mousse-like substance. "This substance went viral last year when it was revealed to be an ingredient in a very well-known dish from a very well-known food outlet. It is otherwise known as pink slime. But, what is it?"
"Oh God, I saw this and it's totally gross." she pulled up and jiggled her feet, attempting to shake the substance off "It is ermcrushed up chicken carcasses. They call it mechanically separated meat."
"CORRECT"Ivona exhaled with relief. Only one more to go. She has no knowledge of how anyone else was doing inside her dark prison but felt 'safe'. Alison, on the other hand, felt anything but safe. Sitting with her knees up and slender feet perched on the edge of the stool she felt the thick, disgusting substance being spooned out and rubbed into her blond ponytail by unseen hands
"You fucking arsehole!" she reflexly shouted. As if by way of retaliation she felt her hairband removed and her hair manipulated into a bedraggled mass over the front of her face.
Stephanie froze as she felt the oozing substance sliding slowly over her ruined hair and the goose-pimpled skin of her back. She spluttered but one word "Rank."
Human canvas Maia had got that one right too. She nonchalantly lounged with her legs apart in a somewhat unladylike fashion.

As Ivona mentally prepared yourself for the next substance, presenter Lucinda Crow's booming voice was received into her head "Ivona, we are untying you. You will have an important task to complete." Ivona felt her shackles being unbuckled and her hands freed.
"Please take off your blindfold and headphones" Ivona obliged. Her hands reflexly went to her brown hair, lightly sozzled with gravy. She was handed a warm bucket of water and a sponge with which she first soaked her hair with and then dipped her disgustingly slimy feet into, delicately wiping between each toe. Using a towel to dry herself off she surveyed the bizarre scene.
Ali her face thunderous, and her blonde hair stained with curry sauce and pink chicken slime. Stephanie a bag of nerves, with everything except tomato sauce dripping from her dank hair onto her rolls of stomach fat. Maia covered with gazpacho and custard but otherwise remarkably serene.
"Now Ivona. The game is at an important crossroads. Stephanie is last with one point. Ali and Maia are close to her with two points. You now have the power to manipulate the game in any direction you want. We have twenty substances provided and it is now your choice to come up with a question."
With a surprised look on her face Ivona rolled down her tartan trouser legs over her pale calves. She rose from the chair and padded the studio floor. Lucinda came over and handed her a laminated piece of paper. After the earlier sensory deprivation the noise from the audience seemed deafening. She glanced at the list of twenty assorted substances on the pagecream cheese, natural yoghurt, oatmeal.
"Care to share your thoughts with us?" Lucinda asked.
"Well, more than anything I want to win. There are two of those students I think might be erm, how do you say in English..a threat. What I would like to do is keep Stephanie and eliminate Ali or Maia."
There were loud boos from the audience, it seemed Stephanie was popular with neither the male or female members of the crowd.
"What happens if it is all square at the end?" Ivona asked
"It goes to a tie break"
Ivona pondered, giving a look familiar to viewers of Scandinavian detective dramas as one of contemplation.
"I think I have my question. My substance will be squid ink. My question is: what kind of substance would be ermsecreted by an animal known as a cephalopod?"
Lucinda smiled at Ivona's comely make-up less face, impressed at her attempt at manipulation. The audience made murmurs of intrigue.

Buckets of squid ink were placed in front of the prone girls. Ivona could observe them dunking their multicoloured feet in the buckets. Stephanie screeching as she did so, Ali quickly dunked hers in with a shudder, Maia placed hers with a minimum of fuss. Using a microphone Lucinda intoned the question:
"This substance is made and secreted by something known as a cephalopod. What is it?"
Ali broke the silence first "You FUCKERS, this THING comes from an animal. Please don't say I'm dipping my feet in shit!! That's what I'm guessing. Oh God why did I come on this show?!" Ivona followed the crowd in collapsing into hysterical laughter.
Even Maia had withdrawn her feet from the bucket and was shaking her feet trying to remove the black liquid "It's sperm isn't it??" she said her South Yorkshire lilt. "The words sounded scientific. Oh why didn't I listen during school science lessons?" Ivona laughter descended into a cackle, she was barely able to get air into her lungs.

Biology student Stephanie was trying to remember what some dreary lecturer had attempted to drum into her (possibly hungover) head earlier this year. "It's ink isn't it? From a squid or octopus..to scare off predators." Her inflection went up at the end, she wasn't sure.
Lucinda whispered to Ivona "Who do you want to dump on?"
"Oh Ali, definitely"
Ivona grabbed the bucket, struggling at first with the weight. She lifted and upturned it over Ali's head. The blue-black darkness flooded over her, flowing to form a shiny cap over her once blonde hair. Ali shook and shuddered spasmodically, as if trying to break free from her restraints.
"What the fuck is it!?" she howled. Without warning, the intellectual Philosophy student Ivona turned tormentor, mercilessly tickling Ali's flanks. "Get off me Lucinda!!" was Ali's response.
Maia's response to the inky blackness enveloping her ruined curls was one of silent disgust. Whilst Stephanie smiled as her correct answer was confirmed through her headphones
.
"Ladies, we are heading to a tie-break!!"
It was the tie-break
Inside their sensory deprived tombs: Ali, Stephanie and Maia were waiting on the final bucketall three were intensely gooey, cold, clammy bundles of nerves. Ali and Stephanie both were more notable for dedication to partying rather than their studies. Maia was considerably dedicated to modern conceptual art. How you stood on her worth depended thoroughly on whether you thought that her style of art was a legitimate comment on society or a complete load of bollocks.

Brown-haired Croat Ivona had revealed a surprising sadistic side in deliberately inconveniencing Ali and Maia. Stephanie, who frankly it was a surprise that she was even left in the competition, had been gifted a question about an element of Biology that she had managing to actually take in between hangovers, cocktail bars and takeaways. Stephanie was quite a sight with her sodden hair and pink underwear. She was attempting to stamp off the rest of the black squid ink clinging to her chubby calves and toes, her face in a gurn of unpleasantness. Conventionally beautiful but surprisingly potty-mouthed Ali and curvy, tattooed Maia were both completely cloaked in hoods of black sticky cephalopod secretion. Ali's long legs swung freely beneath her frame whilst Maia lounged with hers apart in an unladylike fashion.

"Ladies, before we do the tie-break, I think we'll make this a level playing field." Three girls approached the bound and blindfolded trio. One was notably more bedraggled than the others, with dark black stains on her skin and a face like thunder. It was Ali's friend Kris, who had earlier been given a very sticky humiliation. Another was a bright-eyed mixed race girl dressed in hippie garb, who moved vivaciously towards the stage. Completing the trio was a nervous looking brunette in a cream summer dress.
"Now girls" remarked Gez "We've got your friends here to make this a fair fight and clean your feet, make sure that all of your sensory receptors can receive all of the muckiness we're about to provide you with."
With buckets and sponges the three girls set about the task with varying degrees of interest. Maia's exotic looking friend took friendly care of removing every last morsel, Stephanie's plainer looking friend handled each foot as if it was a small animal capable of biting, Ali's friend Kris was rather rough (obviously pissed off at her earlier off-camera deluging in chocolate).
As the three backed away Gez stopped them with a gesture: "I'd stick around if I were you because there may be a surprise at the end."

A voice came piped through each one of the headsets "I think before we continue let's clean your bodies up a bit."
With their noise limiting headphones on, all of the contestants were completely oblivious to the large metal fire-houses being pointed assertively in their direction.
Unsurprisingly; this rendered their spluttering gasps and screams all the more hilarious as they were hammered with a stream of ice cold water. Any of Stephanie's exposed skin that was not covered by her shocking pink underwear came out in goose-pimples; Ali was swearing her head off, her yellow shirt clinging to her body.
Stephanie and Ali could count themselves lucky, however, compared to Maia. The extravagant van Gogh Starry Night painting which covered her upper body was unable to stand up to the force of the blasts of the hose. The strands of liquid latex were ripped to shreds; exposing beneath them the glowing skin of Maia's pendulous breasts and un-toned stomach. Her nipples stood unmistakably to attention: bullet-hard baby pink pylons atop two hillocks. Was this from shocking cold? Fear? Arousal? It was hard to give a definitive answer.

The Last Bucket

So wiggling toes were yet again dipped into another gooey foodstuff. The audience could tell that it was a lime, chemical green. It was more a gooey solid than a sticky liquid and appealing looks of concentration appeared on each contestant's face.
The question was : "For this substance, seven million of the main vegetable inside it are sold in the run up to a notable sporting event. Name the sporting event."
A strange questiona difficult question. Would they guess or try to work out what they were dipping their feet in and work it out from there.
Stephanie's mouth garbled "The Olympics" before her brain could even engage. Maia was at least slightly more contemplative, waiting a few seconds before saying "the Football World Cup".
Ali however was oddly quiet. She thought how no British or European event had a culture of using large quantities of sticky substances. She thought about the alternatives. Could this be a North American event??
She thought of the trip had taken a long time a go to Miami. The amount of Spanish that was spoken there.
With remarkable clear-headedness her mouth stated these words "The event is the Superbowl. The substance is guacamole. The vegetable is the avocado."
"Kris, Grace and Hannah" Gez said pointing to the friends who had given the contestants character references on the application form "It is time to remove the headsets" The friends obliged, revealing Maia and Stephanie's frightened, exasperated faces alongside Ali's confident one.
"Now as you all signed our forms as character references for our contestants" Gez said, gesturing at Kris, Grace and Hannah "So I reckon if your friend is eliminated you should share in their punishment"

To huge cheers from the audience the three non-contestants reacted with shock at this prospect. Grace with an extroverted scream, Kris with smouldering resentment and Hannah with a meek, lip-biting acceptance.
The camera panned to a pained, nervous Stephanie; a now strangely excited (and topless) Maia and Ali, looking straight ahead.

"ALI, YOU ARE CORRECT WELCOME TO THE NEXT ROUND! STEPHANIE AND MAIA WE'RE GOING TO ELIMINATE BOTH OF YOU IN THE SLOPPIEST POSSIBLE WAY.AS WE MAKE YOU INTO
.HUMAN BURRITOS!!! (a mariachi band invaded the stage)
Maia hollered an ironic "Yay!!". Her friend Grace in a supremely comic display, attempted to dart off-stage but was caught by a combination of Lucinda Crow and a bouncer and dragged back to the stage, legs flailing!

.Stephanie looked like she wanted the world to swallow her up. Her house-mate Hannah was kicking of her shoes in sullen acceptance.

Arriba Arriba

So it was burrito time!! The four of them lay prostrate upon a white flour tortilla. Stephanie and the vengeful recipient of her household butter theft on one side. looking rueful and sheepish. Maia and Grace sat the other side. They were giggling.
First there's the rice and refried beans. Rather anticlimactic for the audience the cascade of fluffy rice tumbled onto the contestants.
Now the spicy salsa. A thick, liquid tomato mixture oozed out of the delivery tube, splashing onto Maia's bare chest, Stephanie's bare skin, Grace's floral dress and Hannah's plainer dress. Maia and Grace collapsed into greater hysterics, as the liquid spurted on them from neck to toe. Stephanie and Hannah were subdued, covering their faces with their hands.
Now sour cream. If there were massive portions of salsa the amount of sour cream was truly monstrous. Stephanie reflexly screamed as the white goo enveloped her, Maia and Grace reared upwards with Maia cheering. Hannah lay stock still.

"That was amazing" remarked Maia as her and Grace played with the gunk, two gooey slimy creatures.
Next the cheese. Warm, melted cheese was spread on each contestant, Maia imploring the stage-hand not to spare her 'tits' to the crowd's obvious joy. She licked her lips salaciously before Grace tackled her back onto the burrito.
The Guacamole. For Stephanie and Hannah this was the worst. Thick, cold and smelling definitely unfresh. It plopped onto their bodies and clung to their skin and clothes, working it's way unpleasantly into the crevices.

"Now let's roll you up." In a scene of abject hilarity the vast flour tortilla was wrapped up by some burly technicians. Grace helped the combined effort by climbing and lying down on top of her near naked course-mate Stephanie and Hannah were less keen.
"You got me into this Han. You filled out the form." she shouted whilst being manhandled.
"Well I thought there'd be some mess and you'd be brought down a peg or two but.nothing compared to this" she spluttered.

The burrito was rolled up. Well technically it was a taco as it was open at both ends. Four sets of bare feet at one, four fairly messy heads at the other. The bundle was surprisingly tight, in fact almost straitjacket tight, each one of their bodies was in contact with three others.

The sight of prone, messy women raised the hackles of Lucinda Crow. Even in her casual clothes she sashayed like a panther towards them.
"Now there's been a bit too much covering of faces from certain contestants." So I am going to redress the balance. Lucinda took a handful of each bowl and rubbed it gleefully through each individuals hair. She took another handful of guacamole and rubbed it in the face of the serial face cover-er Stephanie.
Stephanie's mouth lay next to Hannah's left ear. "I promise when I get back to Durham I'm going to be a way better house-mate" Hannah smiled as best she could "I suppose I did put you forward for this, so it's only fair that I share too."
Maia and Grace were still as effusive as ever. "A dream come true!" was the line that Maia kept repeating in her Yorkshire lilt.
From the tightly bound package Grace raised a lone and salient point "Ermhow do we get out?"
Lucinda smiled wickedly.
"If I was you I'd start eating!"