Summary: Bitter about the changes to his messy game show, the host spitefully singles out a former contestant for some vicious revenge.

Setting: The early 1980s

Author's Note: Very strong warning for humiliation; this one turned out really dark and sad without (much of) a happy ending. Also, there's no adult content. This was originally posted to the now-defunct WAM Story Archive in 2016.

*****

"What?!" cried Todd in disbelief, his fellow employees amused at his genuine shock as they stood gathered in the kitchen of their workplace, a children's party venue, watching him react to an invitation his boss had just presented to him from the mail. "So Gunge-A-Palooza is switching to a new format for their show," he read from the letter, "but they want me back to help record some promotions for the new season?" Rubbing the back of his neck with one hand as he tended to do when he grew nervous, he exchanged bewildered glances with Cindy, his newlywed wife.

"I already got suckered into competing on that show once when they filmed here, and nobody's let me live it down ever since that I was the downright lousiest contestant they ever had!" he said with a forced grin, recalling his experience a year before when the messy game show had made the initial stop on its road tour at his restaurant and he had been forced onstage, ostensibly to help "test out" the set. Anxiously stammering his way through one incorrect quiz question after another, he had lost in record time, feeling more humiliated with each sliming he'd been dealt along the way, at least until his then-girlfriend had intervened. Volunteering to serve as his partner for the final question, she had gleefully shouted out a ridiculous answer, then cheered wildly as she and Todd both received an over-the-top gunging. Her act of rebellion, by making light of the whole matter, had put a quick end to the host's superiority over Todd, and for all they knew he was still fuming.

"This has to be a mistake," Todd insisted, but his boss had already returned from the company's office, carrying out a box that he set on the nearest stainless steel table. Removing a garment from it, Mel flapped out a crisp white ringer t-shirt with the venue's logo emblazoned across the front.

"It's not," he corrected his worker, draping a heavy arm over his shoulder. "I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but even if you weren't by far a successful contestant, you were at least a memorable one for that utterly spectacular loss. Please tell me you're not so oblivious that you don't realize that they air that episode of Gunge-A-Palooza all the time in reruns? From what I understand it's sort of become a fan favorite."

"It was just on this week!" cackled Darren, who had been Todd's opponent on the show. "Good times," he said unhelpfully, pretending to dreamily reminisce about his easy win. Todd scowled at him, crumpling the invitation in his fist.

"That's enough," Mel corrected him, used to the waiter's persistent sarcasm, even if he and Todd had eventually developed a friendship. "My point is, from talking to the show's producers, it seems the studio has been bombarded with letters and calls to keep re-airing the episode. Apparently the fans can't get over 'Tough-Luck Todd's' legendary failure, and you've become something of a minor celebrity among them."

"...For all the wrong reasons! It's not my fault I froze up that bad during the show," Todd protested, hardly believing what he was hearing. "I still have the tape of that episode, not that I watch it, but I had no idea it really stood out from any of the others they ever filmed. I'm always here at work when the show's on, anyway, so it's not like I have time to keep up with it."

"I'm not complaining," Mel reassured him. "Every time that one airs, it's promoting our restaurant all over again, and we in the business world call that 'free advertising.'" He cleared his throat. "Considering how well that worked out, the producers approached me about having Party Land serve as an official corporate sponsor for the show's upcoming season. Part of the contract involved your agreement to record a few promos.

So if you value your job as the kitchen manager, you'll go out there and give it your best, all while wearing this shirt. It won't possibly be that bad." Todd's eyes widened at the threat to his employment, and Mel softened his tone, acknowledging that his employee was admittedly shy and would have been perfectly happy to never step into the spotlight again. "Look, business was down but allowing that show to film here was the best decision I ever made, and this will help us out even more. I can tell you're not thrilled, but keep in mind nobody ever died of embarrassment. So go out there and knock 'em dead, Sport!"

*****

"Ugh, how do I let myself get talked into this kind of stuff? Oh, right, I need to keep my job," Todd muttered sarcastically a week later as he pulled into a parking space outside the unassuming warehouse-style building that housed the Gunge-A-Palooza set. His heart was hammering in his chest from the stress of navigating the heavy traffic of the city outside, from the privileged thrill of being admitted through the gates of the studio complex with the special pass he'd been given, and from what no doubt awaited him.

He turned to Cindy and grinned weakly as he took the key from the ignition. "I mean, I wouldn't trade in that last time for the world because it was the day we began dating, but at least until you showed up on stage looking so amazing, I just wanted to crawl off somewhere and hide. And I know we messed around with that cake and ice cream not so long ago, but that was fun because it was just you and me and there were no cameras and people laughing at us. I don't even want to know what they have in store for me this time, but..." His voice trailed off as he silently finished his thoughts. I can't shake the feeling they brought me here just to watch me make a fool of myself again.

He squinted through the lenses of his glasses at a sign across the parking lot. "Y'know, Cindy, there's a tour of the studio lot that starts in ten minutes, and all the way here you talked about wanting to see that kind of stuff while we're out here. Why don't you go ahead and do that while I head inside and get this over with."

"Are you certain? I'd stay with you if you want." Cindy clutched her purse as she opened the car door, her brow furrowing even as Todd dismissed her concern with a wave.

"I'll be fine, really," he said, forcing a laugh. "Besides, you know me. The fewer people watching me, the better."

*****

"Uh, hello?" Todd called out into the cavernous and apparently empty studio once he'd pushed open the door. That's odd, you'd expect a few more people around if they're set to film.

"It looks like they're already set up, so maybe they're just out on break," he said aloud to reassure himself as he approached the stage, still a little impressed despite himself with the technical aspects of the elaborate overhead rigging system that would dispense slime onto unlucky contestants. "This is so much bigger than the road show set they brought to the restaurant!" Bigger probably just means it holds more of that nasty stuff, he corrected himself quickly.

"It's not only bigger, but you wouldn't believe the changes we've made to the set since last season," rang out a voice from the darkened studio, and the show's host stepped out from behind a large red curtain. Though he was dressed in the same elegant style of tuxedo shirt and dress pants that had always marked him as a game show emcee, it was immediately apparent that something had changed about Sharky from the last time Todd had been subjected to his supposedly all-in-good-fun mistreatment. True, he'd had a certain malicious gleam in his eye and cruel inflection in his voice even then, but now a chill ran up Todd's back, as the man appeared deeply unsettled, a far cry from his on-stage persona.

"Hi, Sharky," he greeted the host, his voice quavering as he passed him the packet of papers that had been mailed to him at the restaurant, and informed him that he had signed off on the legal agreement to appear in the promotional spots. Not even pretending to take interest in the documents, Sharky tossed them aside, fixing him with the strangest look.

"I still don't know why you picked me, though," Todd asked, trying to save face, and that was when he found himself seized by the front of his shirt and forced backwards roughly onto the bench.

"Don't you?" Sharky snarled, not releasing his grip on the younger man's shirt. "Can't you even begin to guess why I'd have a reason to bring you back to the set?" He delighted in the way Todd cringed, turning his face away and trying to avoid eye contact. Confident his target was too caught off guard and frightened to even consider moving from where he sat gripping the bench, the game show host backed away slightly, putting the twisted thoughts that had been swirling in his mind for months into words for the first time.

"Gunge-A-Palooza used to be the most popular kid's game show in the nation, until I made the terrible decision to take it on that accursed road show and bring in some adult contestants," he muttered, distaste evident in his voice. "Once the producers saw the 'cutesy' appeal in the segment you appeared in with your girl, they demanded I change the entire format of the show!" His eyes flashed with pure anger as he continued. "Almost overnight we'd changed from a legitimate, competitive game show to some sorry excuse for comedy where couples giggled and even tried to get gunged. You can guess where they got that idea."

"I-I never knew!" the younger man whimpered, legitimately frightened at the abrupt shift in Sharky's demeanor. "To be honest, I don't even watch the show."

Sharky rolled his eyes, leaning in close to Todd again. "I hardly minded the shift from kids' to adults' programming, but there was an unexpected consequence. One by one, our old sponsors dropped us because kiddie products are pretty hard to sell to teenagers and adults, and it was incredibly difficult to find anyone willing to sponsor the new vision for the show. The studio executives strongly hinted we were facing cancellation."

He's nuts, Todd concluded from his seat on the bench, his fear building as the infuriated host rambled on.

"That's when I saw the writing on the wall and took matters into my own hands," Sharky said. "I managed to persuade the studio to grant us another season if they took my direction and made the show far less cute." He practically spat out the final word. "They agreed, and we have a bigger set with more stunts, but from here on out the show will be exactly what I wanted it to be all along once we switched to the adult format." Grasping Todd's shirt again, he leaned in close, emphasizing every word. "Pure humiliation of those who can't make the cut. There won't be any more adorable underdog stories like yours."

"There's no escaping this one, so don't even try," Sharky snarled, shoving Todd backward in the direction of the set. "Don't forget, you signed those papers and you work for me now. We're filming all the spots in one long run, and you can probably guess what's going to happen to you." He pointed to the buckets above his target's head, as well as behind the curtain for unknown reasons, and Todd trembled with dread, wishing Sharky would get out of his face. "And it will happen, over and over again. I'm gonna destroy you on national TV."

*****

"Meet my lovely assistant, Star. She's new to the show and these promotions will be her first time filming with us, but don't worry, she knows what her role will be and I think she's even looking forward to it," Sharky said as a stunningly beautiful woman arrived through the door. Dressed in a sequined cheerleader-style costume and appearing around his age, Star shook Todd's hand and greeted him, then glanced around in confusion.

"Where's the camera crew?" she asked, receiving only a mischievous look from her boss in return.

"Oh, I forgot to mention that part." The host rubbed his hands together with glee. "I didn't even tell them about this project, so don't expect them in anytime soon. I'm filming this one by leaving the cameras rolling, and I'll edit the tapes myself since I have some expertise in that area. I'm afraid we're not going to be very nice to our poor target today, and I'd probably find myself fired if the producers saw the raw footage." He cackled as though he had said something really clever, and Star flashed Todd a look of pure sympathy.

*****

Todd didn't so much as take a seat on the bench as slump dejectedly onto it, his eyes wide with worry. He was dealing with a madman, and he felt his best chances were to comply with his twisted demands in the hopes Sharky would eventually be satisfied and release him. At least the show host didn't appear to be so off the deep end that he would try to actually hurt him, or so Todd hoped. Glancing down at the first lines on the teleprompter, he frowned at the apparent role he'd been given.

"I guess I'm portraying a sort of character here, and you want me to come across as friendly but pretty naive, with no idea of what's in store for me?"

"Yes," Sharky confirmed with an impatient wave of his hand. "Be exactly your clueless self, like you were during the last taping, and feel free to look as pitiful as you want once the stuff hits. You probably won't have to do much acting." Todd inwardly bristled at the insult.

*****

"Hey there, fans of all things messy!" Todd stammered in a falsely cheerful tone once Sharky had set the cameras rolling, feeling his forehead breaking out into beads of sweat under the hot spotlights overhead. "The producers of Gunge-A-Palooza wanted to give you loyal viewers a sneak-peek of the show's all-new format, so they brought me, "Tough-Luck Todd," back from Party Land to tell you all about it." He jabbed his finger at the company logo on his t-shirt. "As everyone remembers, I guess I gained a little notoriety for losing the show in record time last season, but Sharky's agreed to give me a second chance with these commercials!" He allowed himself a quick laugh at his own expense, stealing a look the host's way and relieved to see his nod of approval.

Not half-bad so far, Sharky conceded, feeling the nostalgic sense of power he had missed at the sight of the young man, reciting his lines with a natural innocence. He had never dared to humiliate his young contestants when the game show had featured children, but watching Todd grow increasingly uncomfortable every time he had gunged him had awakened his inner mean streak.

"Who can forget that?" the host asked on cue, strolling onto the set arm-in-arm with Star and projecting pure confidence, though he had dispensed with the false congeniality Todd remembered. "As our lovable loser said, we have some incredible surprises and new messy stunts in store for you this season, and Todd here has generously offered to give you a sneak preview of some of them!"

"New stunts?" Todd asked, an inflection of naive curiosity in his voice even though he knew exactly what he was being set up for. "Gee, surprises are great and all, but I wish you could give me some kind of clue what you have in store for your contestants."

"I'm so glad you asked!" Sharky chortled. "Star, why don't you give him a little hint."

Having been instructed not to look behind him, Todd thought he heard Star whisper an apology before something was brought down over the top of his head and whipped cream and pie filling slid over his shoulders and oozed down his shirt. Well, at least I got that over with, he tried to console himself, admitting the mess could have been far worse.

"Haha, that was a pretty strong hint!" he said, returning to his teleprompted lines. "So I'm guessing you have a few pie grudge matches lined up!" His role for the remainder of the commercial was to sit patiently while Sharky described the new pie-throwing stunt, and when the spot was over he reached up to remove at least some of the mess from his hair until the host seized his arm.

"No!" he reprimanded his fellow actor, "continuity is important. I told you, we're filming these back to back, and you've got to look the same from one to another, so no clean-up in between! Besides, the next one's starting right away."

*****

"This show's definitely going to be bigger and better than any season you've done before!" Todd exclaimed, then stopped as if questioning something. "But what about the infamous slimings? Pie fights will be fun, but don't tell me you're dropping the gunge from Gunge-A-Palooza." He couldn't help but notice that Star immediately took a few cautious steps away from his side.

"Does this answer your question?" Sharky taunted, pulling a cord and sending a flood of slippery blue slime over his hapless co-star. Todd sputtered in complete shock; he'd expected to be slimed at least once but not with this quantity of the stuff; he had been soaked to the skin in mere seconds. The t-shirt his boss had requested him to wear in hopes of advertising his company was now completely obscured by the sludge, and when he swiped just enough of the stuff off his glasses to see, he caught sight of Sharky motioning toward the teleprompter.

"It sure does!" he said, grinning good-naturedly. "But I guess this means there'll be more gunge than ever, so future contestants, look out!"

*****

"I'm particularly proud of this stunt," Sharky boasted, ad-libbing for the next segment. He passed his target a set of cue cards before pulling another cord. "Death by chocolate!" A thin but steady stream of chocolate sauce began to ooze down from the container he had tipped on its side overhead, pouring slowly onto Todd's hair. "Oh, don't look so put out," he jeered, thoroughly enjoying himself. "It's not so bad! All you have to do is answer one of those questions correctly and it'll stop."

Todd hurriedly thumbed through the cards, only to shrug helplessly. "These are all advanced calculus or something!" he wailed in distress. "I don't know this stuff!" Sharky threw back his head and laughed, sounding more unhinged than ever.

"I never said it would be easy, so just stay there under that so our fans can see just how much chocolate we're talking about!"

*****

Ten minutes later, Todd was still cringing as the chocolate continued flowing, and he desperately hoped Sharky was nearly finished taping.

"I can guess this one!" he exclaimed when, posing as though she was a waitress, Star held a tray with three plastic buckets, each a different color. "I have to choose one and maybe I'll win something, or...?" He forced himself to laugh. "Okay, gimme the red one."

Star shot him another look of unmistakable sympathy before turning the bucket over his head, sending a deluge of caramel sauce down to mix with the chocolate already covering him.

"Oops! Maybe I should have picked...the yellow one?" This time he was oozed with what appeared to be cake batter, but he hardly cared at that point, he just wanted out of there.

"Aren't you even curious what's in the purple bucket?" Sharky taunted him, taking the last one and dashing paper confetti over him. The bits stuck to the mess, but Todd felt some relief that he had at least escaped a sliming for once, and he noticed the chocolate sauce had finally stopped. Sharky's next words were even better.

"If this had been the real show, the confetti would have meant a prize for the winner, but we're not dealing with any 'winners' today. Don't forget, our motto for the next season is 'No More Mister Nice Guy!' Still, for being such a good sport and helping demonstrate all these stunts, we have a huge surprise for you, 'Tough-Luck Todd.' There's just one more game to show our fans, and you'll love this one!"

*****

"Aw, no," groaned Todd, as Sharky led him to the final stunt, which had been concealed behind the curtain until now. They were standing before a large but shallow pool of sludgy green slime, and he couldn't even imagine what the technicians had added to it to make it that consistency.

"So this is the slime pit challenge," he announced, grinning half-heartedly toward the camera. "This season's contestants will wallow in this mess to find valuable prizes from our sponsors, but at least I have no reason to land in there." No sooner had he finished speaking than Sharky held up a keychain that was immediately recognizable as his own, no doubt snatched from where he'd left it on the table before filming.

"I wouldn't speak too soon, Todd, and how badly do you need your car keys, unless you're planning on spending the night here?" With a sneer he pitched them over his shoulder toward the pool, and Todd made a desperate overhead grab for them, reaching backwards as they flew past. With perfect coordination, Sharky shoved him in the chest, sending him sprawling on his back in the muck with a terrific splash.

"Good luck on that one," the game-show host chuckled, turning back to the camera as Todd dropped to his knees, fumbling for his car keys and his only ticket out of the hellish experience he'd just been forced into. As Sharky explained to the camera how the slime pit challenge worked, he had to stop once to laugh when Todd, swiping along the bottom of the shallow pit with both hands, sprawled stomach-down in the mess, submerging himself completely and coming up looking beyond pathetic.

*****

The taping was over, and Todd had been defeated in every sense of the word. Clutching the keys he'd eventually found, he emerged from the slime pit and crouched against the nearest wall, pulling his knees to his chest and unable to take any more. This had been the worst day of his life, and worse yet it had been all caught on tape, ready to be edited into TV spots meant to maximize his humiliation.

"Oh, has this been fun." His tormentor stood over him, delighted when Todd's shoulders actually started trembling. "To tell the truth, I was going to make this a one-shot, but considering that I do have you under contract for these things, I think I might have you back real soon." Roughly ordering his target to look up, he made one final threat. "And I know you won't be stupid enough to complain about your treatment today. I've got your boss wrapped around my little finger and it would be so easy to get your cute little wife under contract, too."

Todd gasped as the host triumphantly spun on his heel and dismissed himself. This was hopeless.

*****

Once they were alone, Star knelt next to Todd, placing a hand gently on his shoulder. Looking back at her gratefully, he was surprised to see she looked deeply troubled.

"I'm sorry I even participated in that," she stammered. "That was horrible. Sharky is horrible." She ran a hand through her hair. "I thought I was up for an acting job like this, but I can't work with him and be that cruel. I'm quitting on my first day on the job."

"Y'know, that's the first nice thing anyone's said to me all day," Todd said, a small smile on his face. "I mean, except for my wife."

"She sounds really kind," Star said, offering her hand to help him to his feet. "C'mon, I'll show you where the shower is, and then I think we'd better get you out to her."