Tom is the Head Chef at the Three Crowns pub, he had just finished his shift and was about to head home to his girlfriend, however, the 22-year old decided to see the entertainment that was going on in the pub. He was still in his chef whites from his shift. The entertainment were a comedy duo named Jamie and Ryan. They were in the year above Tom when they were in school. Tom was stood at the back of the room when Jamie and Ryan recognised him.

"Who's that?" Ryan called. "Is that you Tommy, lad?" Jamie joined in "it is Tommy!"

The lads invite Tom up onto the stage

"So Tommy, you're a chef now are you?" asked Jamie.

Tom: "Yeah, I'm the head Chef here"

"Ooooh" said Jamie and Ryan together.

There was an applause from the audience as Tom smiled modestly.

"But you're so young, that's an incredible achievement, you must be some Chef" exclaimed Ryan.

Before Tom had the chance to reply, Jamie butted in "Well, I'm something of a Chef, myself"

"Oh really?" Tom replied

"Yeah, I've been whipping up a few pies as it goes"

There's a small laugh from the audience.

"Actually, I've got one of them here"

Jamie went behind a table and revealed a pie crust, some custard and 2 cans of whipped cream.

"Yeah mate, custard pies" said Jamie.

The audience laughs as they're anticipating the on-coming gag.

Tom chuckled and said "oh really?"

Jamie put the pie crust on the table and poured the custard in.

"Would you like to try one?"

Tom realised the gag, but was happy to be the stooge of the show. After all, he had to show his customers he could take a joke.

Jamie starts filling the pie with a can of whipped cream and says "well, I was going to make Ryan try one of my custard pies, but seeing as you're here, and a Chef now... you can tell me if it's any good!"

The anticipation of the audience is growing.

Ryan asks "Would you like to try one of Jamie's custard pies?"

Tom knew he had to say yes.

"Well of course I do!"

The audience cheers.

Jamie walks over to Tom with the custard pie in his hand with great delight.

"Well then Tommy lad, I'd be honoured if you'd give it a taste"

He held the pie in-front of Tom's face.

Tom was anticipating the pie, but he wasn't nervous, but rather excited. He had always wanted a big custard pie shoved in his face and he knew the audience would get a good laugh out of it.

Jamie asked the audience "SHOULD I DO IT?"

"YES!" Shouted the audience.

Jamie put his left hand on the back of Tom's head and held the pie directly in-front of him.

The anticipation of everyone in the room was growing. Tom knew he had become the stooge but was loving it. He could smell the pie and was excited for the upcoming splat.

Jamie slowly started to move the pie towards Tom's face and *SPLAT*. Jamie rubbed the custard pie from side to side, ensuring the pie was properly stuck to Tom's face, really rubbing it in his face. During this time, Ryan grabbed the other can of whipped cream and stood on the other side of Tom and pulled open his chef trousers. Ryan began squirting the whipped cream down Tom's pants.

The audience was roaring with laughter as Tom was being covered in custard and cream.
Once the whipped cream had ran out, Jamie let go of the pie, but left it stuck on Tom's face.

Tom was stood there, humiliated in-front of everyone, but enjoying it nonetheless. He felt the cool sensation of the whipped cream down his trousers and removed the pie tin. The audience applauded as Tom's face was covered in pie.

"Well?" Asked Jamie. "What do you think? Have I got what it takes to be a Chef like you?"

Tom responded with "well the pie itself was delicious, my compliments to the Chef, but the consistency was a bit off!"

The audience found this hilarious. As Jamie was thinking of a response, Tom jumped in with "hang on, let me show you."

Tom went into the Kitchen and brought 3 banana cream pies, and 2 chef hats with him.

"Now lads, if you want to be a Chef in my kitchen, I'm going to show you what a real pie is like". Jamie and Ryan put on the Chef hats that Tom had brought out and Tom placed the pies down on the table.

Tom was now part of the show and was taking charge of it, he felt incredible.

The lads were stood behind the table with the pies on, on the stage.

"Now Jamie, what you'll notice here is, that banana cream pies have this magnificent scent, here give it a sniff."

Tom picked up the pie and moved it towards Jamie's face. Jamie looked at him, expecting the pie to end up in his face, but reluctantly sniffed it anyway.

Tom held the pie near his face for about 3 seconds, before he moved it away. "Now do you see" Tom said "that delicious aroma is how a proper pie should smell" Jamie smiled but before he had time to speak. Tom had already got his hand on the back of his head with the pie held in-front of Jamie's face.
"However" said Tom
"this, is the proper consistency of a pie" and smashed the pie right into Jamie's kisser. The pie went everywhere. Tom, like Jamie, rubbed the pie right into his face and Jamie just had to take it.

Tom removed the pie pan and the two of them were stood there with pie all over their faces. The audience couldn't control their laughter and cheering, but neither could Ryan. Ryan thought the pie, splatted in Jamie's face was hilarious.

Jamie picked up the second pie and moved around to Ryan. "Hang on, Chef" said Jamie to Tom, let me show Ryan how the consistency should be".

Jamie splatted the pie in Ryan's face and also gave it a good rub. The audience were hysterical.

They were stood there like the clowns they were. Tom in his hat and whites, and Jamie and Ryan in their new chef hats, with their faces all covered in pie.

"Now" says Jamie "how have you managed to get a pie in both our faces, at our own show". The audience laughed. "Yeah" says Ryan "I think Tommy boy needs taking down a peg or two".

Ryan moved away the table as Jamie picks up the remaining banana cream pie.

"Here's one for good luck, lad" Jamie says before smashing the pie into Tom's face. Ryan pulls down Tom's trousers as he is getting pied as the pie and crust are splattered everywhere. Jamie removes the pie from Tom's face as the audience are cheering.

The lads stand together and take a bow.

"Ladies and Gentleman thank you very much for having us, Goodnight!" shouts Jamie as the audience are all cheering and clapping.

The boys all go off stage and congratulate each other on a great show and begin to wipe the remainder of the pie off their faces.

"You know Tommy, we could use a guy like you at our gigs, you're a natural".

Tom laughs and responds with "it was really fun, I'll have to think about it".

Jamie and Ryan begin to exit as Tom makes his way home to his girlfriend, still mostly covered in pie.

He felt amazing, he loved to make people laugh, especially at his own restaurant!

He opened his front door as his girlfriend was stood there laughing at him covered in pie.

"Hey" says Tom.

"shhhh" she said, I've got a surprise for you".

TBC