I do this thing that, it turns out, drives her instantly wild.

We were standing on the back patio of her house. Her yard has privacy fences, a swimming pool, and a small lawn. It was a very warm night, and she was wearing a casual dress the kind with thin straps, and made from a lightweight, thin fabric that stopped just abover her knees. I always think she looks hot in these dresses, which was one reason she wore them!

So the thing. Right. We were kissing, and pressed up against each other. This alone is enough to get the both of us pretty hot & bothered. But what happened next just sends her right over the edge.

I suddenly pulled the straps of her dress and bra down off of her shoulders to about mid-bicep. I then reached around and quickly unhooked her bra. And then, also quickly, grabbed the dress straps and slid my hands down, my palms under her dress, pulling the bra and dress down until I got to her ass, where I slid my hands under her thong and kept sliding down.

So, in one smooth, hands-on-skin slide, I got her from fully clothed in a dress, bra, and thong, to completely naked with her clothes in a heap at her feet. No warning, just unhook&slide, and poof! Naked.

She didn't gasp, or say anything beyond a pleased-sounding unmh!, and then threw her arms around my neck, pressed her body as close as she could to mine, and started kissing me with the most passion she could create.

Now, it helps the slide the clothes off that she's curvy. And by curvy I mean big tits, great ass, and a normal waist. Not skinny, and definitely not underfed. Anyway, as soon as the dress cleared the shelf of her chest, the fabric just flowed down to the ground without much help from me.

Now, some things she knows about me: that I love it when she's naked, that I absolutely love her big boobs (the girls), and that I can spend all day watching her walk around naked, bouncing around. She knows that all she has to do it talk about being naked and she gets me hard.

And now, you're completely naked., I said.

Yes, I am. Totally.

My my. How'd that happen?

All my clothes fell off.

I love it when that happens.

I can tell. And here I am. I'm all yours. Naked. You know I have big tits, don't you?

I reached up and ran my hands all over them. Oh, my, yes you do. And what's this? You're nipples.. my, the brights are really on aren't they?

Oh yeah. Some man took my clothes off in one sudden and may I say surprising move. I'm so close to jumping you and fucking you right here on the concrete.

I said, Oh, how aggressive of you.

She began unbuttoning my shirt, and in no time had me down to my boxers. These come off, she said, and she slid them off of me so that I was as naked as she was.

She immediately ran a hand up and down my now very hard cock. Her nipples were still sticking out, and I had fun turning her even further on with my hands.

Raking my chest with her fingernails, she slid down and suddenly had her mouth on my cock. Once I was good and slick, she added her hand. I made some very loud, and happy, noises. She was having fun, and I looked down at her as she was making me insane. She said, Wow, you're hard. I enjoy a good hard cock, but I especially love yours. She stood up, I love how hard I can make you.

Body to body, we felt amazing together. I slid my hand down to her clit, and rotated my finger as she gasped. Good god, you're so wet. Wow! I like this.

She said, Me too. I was soaking as soon as you pulled my clothes off.

She put her hand on my chest and stepped back. Ok. I know what you want. I'll be right back.

I watched her walk and bounce (she did it on purpose, making her tits bounce as I watched) back into the kitchen.

She returned with a large box. I knew what kind of box it is.

Smiling, she opened it and pulled out a huge whipped cream pie. Holding it in her open palm, ready to throw, she said, I know you want a pie.

I grinned. You know what happens whenever I get my hands on a pie!

She nodded, Yep! I always get a pie in the face. Always. You're relentless! I'm always the one who gets it!

I said, Well, of course.

She grinned, I've had so many pies in my face by now, I'm a pie in the face expert!

Yes, yes, you are!

She said, Well, see, it occurred to me that you said 'get naked and I'll throw a pie at you.' And so, I'm totally naked, and I'll throw a pie at you.

I laughed, Oh, wait a minute. I meant get naked and I'll throw a pie at you!

She shrugged, Well yes! That's what I just said! Get naked and I'll throw a pie at you!

I said, I don't think you understand...

She said, Oh, I understand perfectly! By the way, you don't seem to mind.. you're still deliciously hard.

I said, Well, you're totally naked, that always makes me incredibly hard.

She said, Oh why think you! But you seem to bet getting harder the more I taunt you with this pie. I think that you really want a naked pie in the face. I think you're looking forward to it.

Now, wait a minute. That's a huge pie!

She grinned, evilly. Oh, it is, it is very very big.

I said, That is so...

She interrupted, Awesome? Yes it is! Hey, mister. Every time, and I mean every time, I get a pie in the face! You have nailed me every time! I have been pied so many times, I lost count. I'm always the one
who ends up getting, gettying all of it! And those pies were sooo big! Remember the first time you got me? That was a huge whipped cream pie! And then that lemon cream pie you smashed in my face in Palm Springs? That was giant! And then those shaving cream pies you fucking nailed me with! I stripped for you and danced around and you pied me! Not that I minded, of course, but still. I didn't even mention the meringue pie you nailed me with. That was sticky! And remember last week? That lemon cream pie you made? That was fucking huge! I was so covered, that was a massive pie in the face.

I said, Yeah, even your tits were splattered. That was a big pie, that was so much fun! I think that the pie you're holding is bigger though.

You think so? Yeah, it is bigger. It's pretty big. And look, your cock is still hard. I'm liking that. It tells me that you like getting a pie in the face. That's good. I want to see a pie on your cock.

That's because you want dessert.

Yes, I do. And you want to get pied. Admit it! Your erection doesn't lie.

Uh huh. A naked woman with huge tits, tight hard nipples and no clothes holding a bunch of whipped cream? Nothing to do with it!, I said sarcastically.

She said, Yeah yeah, well, I'm sure that helps. Just taunting you with this is making me horny, especially because I know you want it!, she waved the pie teasingly.

I said, This is unusually dominant of you.

She said, Oh, didn't I tell you? I like to switch. Sometimes there's nothing like taking control.

I said, Uh oh.

She said, Uh huh!

She took a few steps toward me, pie in hand. She said, I've been thinking about this all week, after the last time you pied me. You know, you really really got me last week. You hit me so hard with that huge pie, I loved it! And that meringue pie you made that one time? I can't believe you got me with that one! That was evil! That was so sticky, and gooey, I was like 'oh my god!'. But I was thinking 'Hmm. He sure like to give me a pie in the face. I bet he secretly loves it.' And so, here we are! It's your turn!

I said, Oh, you want me to admit that I'm happy to take a pie in the face from you?

Oh, I want you to admit that you'd love a pie in the face from me! That it turns you on.

I said, Look, I'll tell you anything. Just ask me any question you like! That's how I've always been with you.

She was smiling. Oh, ok! Does it turn you on to get a pie in the face from me, all naked?

I said, Oh god yes. More than I could explain. Seriously hot.

She pumped her fist in the air, Yes! I love it! Ha! Oh my god, now I can't resist. Seriously.

I laughed. I said, And does it turn you on to pie me?

She said, It does now! To be honest, your face isn't the first place I'd smash a pie. She ran her hand from my balls over my cock, lingering near the top to tease me. But, now, I'm not so sure. I'm thinking that a big old pie in the face would be fantastic, and that I'd get so punished afterwards. That sure turns me on.

I said, Good!

She said, You know, one of the things about you that I love and that just makes me instantly crazy for you is how you just walk around my bedroom or the house naked but with this giant erection. It's like you're so confident walking around with a hard on, all I want to do is run up to you and give you a blowjob and make you come all over me. Or just to jump you and fuck like rabbits all day. I know that I walk around naked and it turns you on, but when you're walking around wearing nothing and you're so turned on, it's fucking hot. You step out of the shower, nude, and I'm always like 'guh!'

She continued, And last weekend, when you pied the fuck out of me (you bastard!), and you were so turned on because I was whipped-creamed all over, I thought 'you know what? I think it's be hot to see you all creamed all over too!'. So all week I've been planning to pie you. I never would have pied you, before. Now I really, really want to pie you and see you all creamy with a huge pie! If I had a dozen pies, I'd get you with them all!

She laughed. I said, Oh man, you'd like that, would you?

Oh yeah. So would you, admit it!

I said, Oh god, I'd love it. Of course, I'd throw some at you, you know.

Oh, I know. I welcome it! I like getting pied. Don't you?

I love it, and you know it!

She said, Yeah, I know. I love hearing you say it. I want to know what you love so I can do it. And you know what?

I shook my head, What?

For some reason, suddenly, the fact that you're OK taking a pie in the face from me, and that you'd really like it, turns me on. I never would have wanted to pie you. Now, I can't resist, I love it.

I said, Oh really? And now you're holding a massive pie.

It's massive! Of course it is, I learned from the best.

Oh, you really wouldn't!

She said, Don't give me that! You have pied me how many times? I've had so many pies in the face from you! And the pie sex is pretty fucking good, I'll give you that.

I said, But you're a sub! Subs don't throw pies.

They do when they want to be punished really, really badly.

I said, Huh, you got me there. And there will be punishment. You are going to be so fucked if you give me that pie in the face.

And you're doing nothing to talk me out of it, you know. As if you could.

But, there is so much cream on that pie!

She said, Uh huh...did you expect any less? I wish there was more on here.

But I'm fucking naked!

Oh yes, you are. Exactly how I want you. You're much more fun to fuck when you're not wearing anything.

Well, same to you. But if you pie me, you're going to get whipped cream and lemon all over me. It's going to end up splattered all over my very hard (thanks to you) cock.

Oh, I hope so. I very much hope so, and so do you.

I said, Oh, my god. No, really. You wouldn't.

Oh, I would.

You seriously want to ruthlessly pie me, right?

Right. I really want to ruthlessly pie you! Oh my god, you're loving this!

I leaned in and kissed her, Oh, very much. Aren't you?

She laughed, Oh god, yes. I see why you like this so much. There's no turning back now. You are so going to get the pie! Like in the movies, but much more X-rated.

I said, You know, when I pie the fuck out of you, and land those massive pies in the face on you, it makes me want to fuck you on the spot.

She said, Oh exactly. I am most definitely getting that feeling.

I said, Oh man, I'm so screwed, aren't I? You seriously would not give me that huge pie in the face.

Oh, yes I would.

You couldn't! I'm stark fucking naked!

She said, I could, I could, oh god I could!

I said, But you're naked!

I know.

Oh, no no no. You really want to pie me?

Really. Really, really, really, REALLY want to.

I said, But getting pied naked by naked little you is such a massive turn on, it's insane.

She said, Oh, keep talking like that, naked loverboy, and I can't take responsibiliy for how hard we're going to fuck once you're totally pied.

I said, Oh my god. That pie is so big.. you're utterly evil.

Look whose talking. What is good for the goose is good for the gander! And like I said.. YOU said 'get naked and I'll throw a pie at you.'

Yeah, I said that.

And so, here we are, naked. And I'll throw a pie at you.

I looked her in the eyes. You. Wouldn't.

She smiled and said, Hey, know what?

I replied, What?

She said, perkily, Pie in the face! And she let loose with the pie and just nailed me, square in the face.

Whipped cream everywhere! And lemon filling, gooey as hell, dripped from my face and head to my shoulders. And, as predicted, a big piece of crust a and pie slide from my chin and the tin to land smack on top of my cock.

She didn't laugh. She said, Oh my got that's hot! I see why you like this! she gasped, Oh, damn, I like this. You're sooooo pied.

I felt her kiss me, and I rubbed my face all over hers, to her squeal. Her hand found my pied cock and she started to stroke me.

I said, Oh my god, please, keep that up and I'm going to totally explode!

She kissed me on the lips and asked, Promise?

The next thing I knew was that I felt her mouth and hand on my cock, and she was on her knees. I wiped my eyes and looked at her. She wasn't shy about getting whipped cream and pie on her face and hair. She mixed her technique between her mouth and her hands, and she looked up at me and said, You're going to come. It didn't take long. I started exclaiming Stop! Stop!, which made her slide even more. She knew my weakness, and when I was just on the edge, and before I could think I said, Oh no, you... I...stop..., she changed her technique to the thing that she knew no amount of will power could resist. I lost it, and she kept me going as I came all over her.

I was about to collapse, and she stood up and embraced me. Once I caught my breath, I grabbed her, pulled her close, and fingered her clit until she screamed (which didn't take long).