The Wetgalfan Chronicles: Chapter 5
Swimming with Lisa (No Sex)

Once I figured out there were so many places around Ft. Campbell where I could swim in clothes without feeling self-conscious, I always found ways to make it happen. I often even went during the week. One of the places I went to a lot was TVA's Land Between the Lakes. I could take off after getting done with work, get fast food at a drive through, zip over there and find a place to swim and be back in time to shower before weekday lights out in the barracks at eleven. However, nothing really happened at Land Between the Lakes, at least not until the next summer when I went on a weekend, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

A little further down Highway 79 and after crossing Kentucky Lake in Tennessee was Paris Landing State Park. It was a pretty rustic place, but it did have a good sized inn and a campground. It had a pool that was never opened once during the two years I visited there, but if you look at a recent summer shot on Google Earth, it appears to be open now. However, one other thing it had of note was a beach.

Now you could actually jump in and swim just about anywhere along the lake shore in the park and people did. Perhaps that was because the beach itself was nothing to write home about. There was no sand. It was a grassy area that came downhill from the parking lot past a bandstand structure that appeared to once house changing rooms. They were never open for the two years I was there either. You could find restrooms to change in if you wanted, but most people simply showed up in whatever they were going to wear swimming whether that was swimwear, street clothes, some combination of the two or for little redneck children, often their underwear. Oh, and the grassy area didn't even gradually lead off into the water either. It stopped at a concrete sea wall that dropped into water anywhere from one to four-feet deep. No sand on the bottom of the lake either; it was mud.

Crowds were always light when I would go after work and sometimes I was the only one there. It was that way that particular afternoon. I was there a little earlier that day because it was the end of the month payday, and we had payday activities.

Payday activities require some explaining. This was back in 1983 before the internet and even before everyone had a bank account. Now coming from a family that always used the bank, this was strange to me. As a government employee, I had direct deposit long before everyone else did. I had a checking account through the credit union on post and my check was automatically deposited every month. One the other hand, there were a lot of people, especially those living on post in barracks, who received a hard check at the end of the month and took it to the P.X. to get it cashed. These people then needed to travel around to wherever they had obligations such as the post cable TV office, some buy-here-pay-here car place or any local business where they had been extended credit, and pay their obligations. I wrote checks to the cable company and to Shell, Union 76 and Chevron where I had gas credit cards and I owned the car I drove outright, (and had brought it from home), so I didn't need to do any of those things. Still, the whole battalion was granted payday activities to go and meet their obligations so that meant after a dress greens formation and quick barracks inspection by the First Sergeant, I had the rest of the day off.

Now I had been tempted to go to Nashville and make up for the trip I missed in the last adventure I related to you. I liked to stay there late though and I had to work the next day. Nashville could be expensive anyway. It was the end of August and Labor Day Weekend was coming up and I was heading home. Not only was I going to see Mary Beth at Dietz, but she had called in some favors and gotten Saturday off so we could go on a date and not just throw each other in the lake, although I fully intended to see her in it as often as possible. Paris Landing had no admission charge, so I headed west from Clarksville instead of southeast toward Music City.

The crowd had been light even though it was brutally hot and the sun was blazing in the sky. On the other hand, it was Wednesday afternoon. I was floating in that inflatable raft I mentioned in Chapter 1, wearing some very faded cutoff jeans, a white printed t-shirt that I had cut the sleeves off and some decrepit jogging shoes. This was my Paris Landing Uniform. I'd worn all of it the first time I had come here and the muddy water turned everything brown so I figured I'd just keep them and use them here all the time. The shirt, ironically, said, I GOT WET! It was from Hermitage Landing Water Park in Nashville. The shirt was trashed anyway, so I just cut the sleeves off for the hell of it. I wore the shoes there because I didn't like walking on the mud bottom and finding rocks every so often in my bare feet.

My shirt was especially brown that afternoon. I was feeling my inner red neck and I had been diving down and swimming along the bottom and purposely kicking up mud. Like I said, the crowd had been light. In fact, the only other people I had seen up to that point were a mom in a t-shirt and either bathing suit bottoms or her underwear, her little girl in a bathing suit and who I guessed was the mom's younger sister since they kept calling her Aint Lil. (Sorry to make fun of their accent.) Ainter Aunt Lil was in a light blue t-shirt and jeans and had waded out into the knee deep water at the shallowest point along the sea wall where the mom was sitting and playing in the water with the little girl. Mom eventually pulled Aunt Lil down into the water, soaking her completely. I didn't go over, but I did enjoy her wet jeans and how the shirt darkened four shades and plastered to every detail of her bra. Aunt Lil was a good sport and stayed to swim with them until they left.

That left me alone in the lake for a while. I was lying back in the boat along the deepest part of the water near the sea wall with the rope on the front of the boat secured with a rock in the grass. Lost in thought, I didn't even hear the rustling of the grass from one person walking.

Hi there! a female voice gushed with just the sweetest hint of a southern drawl.

I looked up from my daydream and beheld a very pretty girl standing on the sea wall. She had shoulder length medium brown hair that just grazed her bare shoulders that were left mostly uncovered by a blue and white paisley spaghetti strap halter top. It left her belly button and just a couple of inches of belly visible above faded boot cut jeans, Wranglers maybe, judging by how soft the material looked. A pair of very beat up Converse low tops without socks graced her feet. They looked like they might have already been wet. My eyes were drawn back up to her shoulders though, where two thin, light blue satiny bra straps were plainly exposed, her having made no attempt to hide them under the halter top. I love that look! It just screams low maintenance.

Hi, yourself, I said, sitting up in the boat and getting a better look at her. She looked to be between fifteen and seventeen. Hopefully she was closer to seventeen since her father would be less likely to chase my nineteen-year-old self with a gun just for talking to her.

Reading my shirt, she giggled and said, Well you certainly got wet, and a little muddy too.

Comes with swimming out here, I said. The bottom's mud.

I know, I turned what I was wearing brown out there this morning, she replied. Then she mater-of-factly introduced herself, I am Lisa Rueter.

I introduced myself. Hmmm, what I was wearing, not a bathing suit Interesting.

You come here a lot? she asked, obviously trying to make small talk.

Whenever I can, I replied. What about you?

My family comes and stays at the inn every summer for a few days just before school starts, she said. She sat down cross-legged on the sea wall despite how wake from boats had splashed over it in further down.

Where do you go to school? I asked. I was going to try and find out how old she was.

I'll be a senior at McKenzie High School this year, she replied. Great! I didn't even have to lead her to tell me what year she was. That meant she was at least seventeen. For a nineteen-year-old to be with a seventeen-year-old was fine. Now I wasn't really looking for anything to develop, especially with the weekend with Mary Beth coming up and what had just happened with Maddie, but laws in Tennessee were very strict. If she were any younger, I could get arrested just for taking to her. On the other hand, if I were two years older, I could get arrested just for taking to her at seventeen.

Where do you go? she asked.

I graduated already, I told her. I'm actually from Indiana but I'm stationed here at Ft. Campbell. Well that was it. If she was going to bolt, it would be now. Around Clarksville, most local girls didn't think anything of it. However, the girls going to Austin Peay always seemed to find someplace else they needed to be when you brought it up. Then again, the officers' and NCO's daughters would start planning marriage.

A soldier! That must be neat! she said. She leaned forward and rested her chin on her folded hands.

I decided to sit next to her. I swung my feet around and slipped over the side of the raft into the water. Unfortunately, one of my feet came down on a slimy rock. My foot slipped out in front of me and I went completely under, sinking to the bottom on my butt. I came up to hear Lisa laughing hysterically.

Very funny, I mocked and playfully splashed water in her direction. She recoiled back, still laughing and getting a few drops on her pants leg, but nothing terrible.

Hey! No fair! she protested, still chuckling. You were already wet anyway!

At least I'm cooled off again, I said as I pulled myself onto the wall. This heat is brutal!

Yeah, I don't even know why I put jeans on, she replied. I'm tempted to get back in.

Nothing is stopping you, I joked. I've never seen a dress code here.

We're going to go into Paris and get dinner later, she said.

Oh, I replied at my dashed hopes that she would eventually be in the water with me. At least we could talk. Since my didn't end well break up that spring, I was trying my best to put myself in situations where I could get to know as many girls as possible whether it looked like it could develop into anything or not. I climbed out and sat on the sea wall facing her with the lake to my side and my knees bent up. Lisa turned and faced me, sitting with her legs straight out. Now we could have walked up the hill and sat at a dozen different picnic tables, but instead we sat tempting fate right on the water's edge.

I am not sure how long we sat there like that talking about our families, hometowns, high schools, the army; you name it. I know I would start to get hot and splash myself with water a lot.

You don't know how jealous I am that you can do that and I can't, she said. She must have been getting hot. I could see her hair starting to stick around her face here and there.

Boaters loved to swamp the beach. They love to on any lake where there is a beach. They will make a power run just as close to the buoys that restrict them from the beach as they can and send their wake toward the shore. Kids love it because it makes waves. It hadn't been bad that day, possibly since we had been the only two there at the time. However, as we talked others came to the beach and set up and got in the water. It still wasn't crowded and no one was around us, but seeing the kids playing, a boater made a power run to kick up a wake. It started hitting way down at the other end and I really didn't pay any attention to it until it was too late.

Lisa, watch it! I cautioned when I realized it was splashing over the wall and into the grass and it wasn't going to let up before it got to us.

Huh? she said and turned around to see what I meant. She started to move, but she reacted too late. The wake hit her butt first then splashed down her legs and then got me. By the time it moved on, Lisa's back half of her jeans was soaked through from her ass all the way down her legs. She started to snicker, then chuckle and finally laugh out loud which told me it was O.K. to join her because it WAS funny!

Then I noticed the contrast of color. Her Wranglers were slightly faded to a medium blue. The wet portion was now a deep, shiny blue.

Lisa growled in frustration. Ewww! she moaned, her voice still cracking with laughter. My underwear's wet! I hate when just my ass gets wet!

I found it interesting that it never occurred to her to stand up. She just kept sitting there saying, Ewww! and laughing at getting splashed. Then another wave washed over the wall. This one was the big one and even soaked the front of her jeans from the knee down.

Oh-ho-ho! she pouted. Didn't even try to warn me about that one!

Well, I figured you were already wet, I said, smiling devilishly.

Yeah, I guess there was no point, she relented. At least my shoes were already wet. I wore them swimming this morning because I got sick of the mud and rocks.

Looks like you'll have to change again before dinner anyway, I observed.

You're right, she replied. What's the point?

Then she caused my shorts to tighten considerably. Watching me the whole time with a wicked smile on her face, Lisa rolled over to her side and off the wall and disappeared with a splash.

Oh my gosh that felt so good! she exclaimed, climbing into my raft. Everything about her shined in the late afternoon sun. Water ran from her plastered down hair over her bare shoulders. Her halter top was wonderfully soaked. The white portions of the paisley design were now either flesh tone or light blue where the bra covered her flesh and her jeans where now uniformly the deep shiny blue.

I stared at her smiling for probably too long and she said, Well, I'm all wet now! You coming back in or not?

I threw my hands up in a Who knows? gesture and rolled off the wall like she had. I grabbed the rock on the end of the rope and waded out to where the raft was. Lisa was a laugher. She giggled and laughed at everything and it was infectious. She got tickled at my first attempt to get in the raft. If it was empty, I could get in with no problem. However, on my first attempt, I pulled up onto the front and my wet clothes slid right off dunking me back in the lake. I tried again and she shrieked when the raft tipped over backward and dumped us both out.

I finally made it in and pulled her in by her back belt loop. (I was surprised she let me do that. Then again, we clicked almost immediately.)

We paddled the raft out to deeper water and I dropped the rock to anchor us. I had a sneaking suspicion that her goal was to end up in the water with me all along since now that she was wet, she couldn't get enough of it. We rolled off the raft backwards like SCUBA divers and tried to stand up facing each other while holding each other's arms for balance. We never lasted more than a couple of seconds before we ended up in the water in the most ungraceful manner possible, laughing hysterically every time and snorting the water out that had gone up our noses.

I'm getting tired swimming in these jeans, she admitted when we took a break from acting like idiots in the raft.

Figuring that I could get away with it I said, Well, you could always take them off!

She put her fists on her hips and comically scolded me, You guys from the army all alike! I suppose I could just take my top off too, eh? Wouldn't that look good? Me out here swimming in my underwear with you!

We'd certainly make an impression, I kidded her back.

Most of the time we had been sitting in the raft, I sat in the back and she sat in the front facing me. She turned around to face the same direction as me and slid back against me and leaned on me, inviting me to put my arms around her. She laid her head over onto my shoulder and I felt myself firming up.

Uh-oh! she said, snickering.

I was about to ask her if she wanted to go for a walk through the woods along the shoreline and find a more secluded spot to go swimming, maybe with less clothes on, when we were both shaken by a not-yet-changed young male voice.

LISA! Why are you all wet? the boy, I assumed was her younger brother, yelled.

A BOAT SPLASHED ME AND THEN I FELL IN! she yelled back through hands cupped around her mouth.

YOU LIE! DAMN IT, LISA! he called back. Dad's gonna be pissed! It's time to go!

In a minute! she yelled back. What did Dad tell you about cussin'?

What did he tell you about keeping clean and out of trouble when you went for a walk?

You really gonna be in trouble? I asked.

Nah. Dad was stationed at Ft. Campbell when he was young. If I tell him I met you, he'll forgive me. He may want to come down here and meet you!

Now wouldn't that be something? I was going to be meeting Mary Beth's father that weekend. Somehow it had gotten back to him that I threw her in the lake. Luckily he thought it was funny.

Lisa got up on her knees and turned around to face me. This was really fun! she said and planted a big kiss on me.

Come on, Lisa! her brother screeched.

I'M COMING! she yelled back. I have to go. Bye!

She jumped out of the raft, halter, jeans, Converse and all, and then immediately turned around and climbed back in.

Lisa, what are you doing? her brother whined.

Shut up, Bobby! she yelled over her shoulder. Hey, which car is yours?

That red Impala. Why?

You'll see, she replied and planted an even bigger kiss on me, one that required me putting my arms around her and caressing the bare top of her wet back and feeling the drenched halter.

Bye! she said when we pulled away from each other and she gave me a big peck on the lips. She attempted to stand up and let herself fall over the side making a big splash. She swam toward the shore on her back at first and blew me one more kiss before rolling over and swimming under water. She pulled herself up onto the sea wall and waved, her shoes dangling in the water, and then finally stood up and walked into the grass to meet Bobby.

I saw them discussing something and Bobby pointing toward the inn and Lisa pointing toward the parking lot. She took something from him, waved at me again and headed over the hill toward the cars. Bobby threw up his hands and followed. I finally lost sight of them going over the hill.

I stayed for a while longer, but I really couldn't top that. I was only sorry that we hadn't had time for things to progress. I really didn't intend for anything major to happen. I was just curious if I really could get her to swim in her underwear.

I packed up and headed to the Impala. Under the windshield wiper was a note. It said, Lisa Rueter, with a McKenzie, Tennessee telephone number. Maybe I'd get another chance!