The Wetgalfan Chronicles: Chapter 28
A Wild Wedding Part 4

All right, ladies! It's pin or submission! Freddy announced. Your husband seems to really be concerned about your wellbeing, Kris!

Nothing new! Kris shouted back. I immediately thought of the first day I met her and how Jeff made her jump the bicycle off the ramp on the dock because she lost a bet. She had made it look so much like she didn't like it because she didn't know me very well. Little did I know at the time how much she lived to make Jeff happy and do those sorts of things because he liked them. Lisa and Connie got it honestly.

Connie was standing in front of Lisa and me. She suddenly spun around and pointed at Jen and her mom squaring off again in the pudding.

WE need to do something like that! she said to both of us. I've got an idea! Brett, Jim, do you guys mind being good sports and getting a little humiliated by us at first if you end up giving better than you got when you win?

He and I looked at each other and grinned. You lead; we'll follow, I replied.

Now I was able to multi-task, (and I reviewed all the video that was shot), so I am able to narrate the rest of Kris and Jen's messy wrestling. However, just know the four of us were formulating a plan for the next several minutes while my new mother-in-law and new cousin-in-law were going at it in the pudding in their underwear. (Have I mentioned that I love this family?)

Jen lunged for Kris. She got Kris turned around and pinned her arms behind her back. Kris jumped up and leaned back and when she came back down she bent forward and flipped Jen over her back, (with a little help from Jen but who cares). Jen splattered into the pudding in a sitting position and went under. Kris reached into the pudding and grabbed Jen's hair and pulled her head up. She shoved Jen's face into the glop.

Do you give up? Kris demanded. She pulled Jen's face up and Jen shook her head, No.

Kris shoved her face under once more and repeated the question. I was hoping it wasn't going to end this quickly. This was too much fun to watch!

They weren't going to disappoint us. After the fourth dunk, Jen reached up with an eye poke, that of course didn't look like it came anywhere near to connecting and Kris let go and staggered back covering both eyes and wailing comically. Jen got hold of her hair, (They both seemed to love doing that to the other.), and slammed Kris's face into her knee. Kris looked dazed and Jen pulled her back up and shoved her across the pool with a bum's rush move. Kris stumbled a few steps, fell forward and vanished under the surface.

She pushed her way back up and got to her feet. As covered as both of them were, if Jen didn't have the little garter skirt and stockings, which were now full of runs, I would not have been able to tell who was who. I also noticed a pattern. Each one would let the other get the better of her one time and then they would switch.

It was apparently Kris's turn. The two women stalked each other and then Kris threw a punch at Jen. Jen stood there stunned. Kris turned her around and bent down. She came up between Jen's legs and lifted Jen up on her shoulders. I can't believe how strong and fit she is for someone her age! She walked over the edge of the pool and faced the center. Kris let herself fall forward and face-plant both of them into the chocolate pudding. Of course Jen had a lot farther to fall and her face went to the bottom. Kris grabbed her by the feet and dragged her around a few steps before dropping her. Jen did a good job of holding her breath with her face shoved under the pudding.

Jen recovered and went after Kris. She bent low and swept Kris onto her shoulder in a fireman's carry. She did the same thing to Kris that Kris had done to her, but instead fell backwards to plant Kris's face into the sweet mess. Kris stretched out face down and floated on top of the pudding. This next stunt took a lot of coordination from both of them. It was so lucky for all those in attendance that once the women of this family decide they want to show off, they're all in and don't hold ANYTHING back.

Hey! Kakekid! I'm sure they wouldn't mind making a guest appearance on Pie Fight Club. These women all know how to submit when it's their turn to take the punishment!

Anyway, Jen stood up and grabbed Kris's feet. I saw Kris turn her face up out of the pudding for a second and take a breath. Jen lifted Kris's feet up to her head, shoving Kris's head to the bottom of the pool so she was standing on it buried deep in chocolate pudding. Jen leaned the front of Kris's legs against her chest and shoulder and spun both of them around so that Kris's ass and her face were toward the largest part of the crowd. Then she began to spank Kris. Kris jolted exaggeratedly with each slap to her pudding-slimed Playtex panties. Jen would laugh each time.

Let's sidebar for a second. Even though one of these women was at least twenty years my junior and other was about twenty years my senior, I was getting turned on by what I was seeing. This was the best pudding wrestling so far, though the four of us hadn't put our show on yet. I just found it so hot that the women of this family were so secure in themselves that they didn't give a second thought to stripping down to their underwear and wrestling in pudding, let alone all the other crazy stuff that had happened this afternoon. Some would say they were making fools of themselves, but none of them could be found anywhere around this reception.

I take that back. One could. She was sitting at a table taking it all in nursing her eighth or so Angry Orchard. (At least she thanked me for having an open bar.)

Even my girls had totally given themselves over. By now all three were covered in pie and pudding and the older two were in their bras and panties and they were cheering and laughing as loud as anyone else. Later I remarked to Katherine how Lisa's kids had grown up around this level of craziness, (and let's face it female submission), and were used to it, but she and her sisters joined right in.

Dad, we've seen the things Lisa lets you get away with. Hell! She seemed to enjoy all of it, Katherine replied. We looked at you at the wedding and we looked at Mom. One of you looked like he was having the time of his life and the other like she was bored out of her mind. We figured we'd imitate the one who looked like he was having fun.

Now, you'll probably never see any of them act that way back in Indiana or Florida, but when they come to McKenzie, it's When in Rome!

Anyway, back to the reception. Jen was holding Kris upside down by her legs with her head and upper torso completely submerged in the pudding. I was wondering how much longer she could hold her breath and then I remembered all those early morning laps in the pondin bra and panties (Notice a theme?). Jen was continuing to spank Kris and Kris would jolt every time.

Suddenly, Jen's right leg came flying up in front of her and she let go of Kris and fell backwards into the pudding to disappear. Kris had gotten hold of her foot and flipped it up to throw her off balance. Kris popped up and took several breaths to punctuate being trapped under the surface and then dove back under. She came up out of the pudding again, this time dragging Jen up by her hair. (Both of their heads of hair were tangled mattes by this point, but they were showing off for their guys. They didn't give a damn.

Jen stood there doing the pro wrestler wobble, a sure sign that this was just about over. Kris slugged her with a pulled right cross that didn't look like it got anywhere near Jen from any angle, but Jen obligingly jerked her head. Kris then kneed her in the stomach and Jen doubled over. Kris karate chopped the back of Jen's neck and Jen face-planted into the pudding. Kris yanked her up, again by her matted hair, to a standing position and then gave her a one-finger shove in the middle of her chest. Jen fell backward stiff board and floated on the surface of the pudding near the edge of the pool. Then I saw Jeff move a chair up against the side of the pool, and I knew it was time to end it.

Kris climbed up onto the chair. She paused to hold her hands above her head and twist back and forth. I thought for a second with all of her showboating, Jen might move at the last second, but she didn't. Kris leaped from the chair into a belly flop and used her elbow to pile drive Jen under the surface and followed her under. (That one probably did hurt a little no matter how hard Kris tried to pull it. I had to hand it to Jen. She was willing to go the distance to turn on the guys.)

The only visible part of either of them was one of Kris's feet sticking up out of the pudding. One of Kris's hands popped up above the surface and stuck up one finger, then two and finally three.

Kris WINS! Freddy cried. What a match!

Kris emerged from the pudding and helped Jen to her feet. Laughing hysterically, they threw their arms around each other in a messy pudding hug. They both made goofy faces at everyone and fell over to their sides and went under the surface again. Surfacing once more, they made their way over to the edge and Jeff helped both of them out. He thrust Kris's arm up in the air in victory.

Kris threw her arms around Jeff and planted a wet, sloppy and very chocolaty kiss on him that would have made Lisa jealous. Then she started pushing him toward the pool. Jeff resisted and Jen started to help.

Let's get him! Kris called to her daughters. Lisa and Connie both abandoned plotting our great WWE performance and joined their mom and cousin. The four of them easily shoved him back to the pool and let their momentum take him over the side. Of course, it took all five of them over the side, but Lisa and Connie already had plenty of swim time in the pudding in their dresses. Seeing my sweetheart standing up in a fresh coat of pudding tested the room in my tux pants crotch. My bride and her sister fell back over the side because they were laughing too hard to get out in any coordinated way. Lisa's dress flipped up as she rolled over the side and gave anyone paying attention an eyeful of what her thong didn't cover in the back. She completed her roll and yanked it back down, laughing her ass off.

Jen followed them. That was so much fun! she exclaimed. God, and it made me so horny too! Then she gestured to the fellow who had been paying attention to her this afternoon and at the Stag & Doe and added, Joseph over there doesn't know it yet, but he's getting so lucky later, he'll be telling his grandkids about it!

No mistake Jen is definitely related to Kris, Connie and Lisa!

Freddy announced, That performance is going to be tough to beat!

They ain't seen us yet! Connie said as she and Lisa sloshed back over to Brett and me dripping a fresh coat of pudding. I was a little jealous for just a second that Lisa went back in and didn't take me along. Patience, I had to tell myself. We were going back in together and it was going to be glorious!

Jeff and Kris were standing in the middle of the pool and making out like teenagers while everyone cheered. Then Jeff grabbed her and pulled her down into the pudding. Kris was having a ball letting him too! Wow! All those years together and they still have fun together like two kids. They still held onto to something that had been lost in my marriage to Kay long before: Make the other person happy and happiness comes back to you in spades. The two of you belong to each other; live your lives that way. Well now I had someone who lived by that and I was going to do whatever it took to keep her and make her happy.

While Jeff and Kris were tossing each other around in the pudding, I saw a pretty brunette who looked about the same age as Jen in a sharp red business suit with a black top under the jacket and black pumps talking to Lori.

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She seemed a little upset and was pointing toward the pool. I looked that way and saw what she was on about. I guess when the bra and panties chants and the stripping in the pudding pit started, most of the parents sent their kids outside. That was probably the smart thing to do, but they probably should have told them to run through the showers in the locker room because most, if not all of them, had jumped back in the pool. Now the pool was getting cloudy thanks to pie filling and whipped cream and there was crust floating everywhere. Then I saw Lori point at Lisa and me and bring the lady in red our direction.

Jim, Lori began, this is my cousin, Brenda, the events manager for the banquet facility. She wants to talk to whoever is going to pay for this and I believe that is you. She's not happy about the pool.

I could understand why she wouldn't be. I'm sorry, Brenda, I said. Our party is getting a little wild.

That's an understatement, Brenda replied. She was trying her best to smile, but her brow was wrinkled. Jen saw her with a look of recognition and started our way, much to Joseph's chagrin who was scoring some serious make out time with her.

Your damage deposit isn't going to even begin to cover what is going on here, Brenda continued. The pool is going to have to be thoroughly cleaned and shut down for a day to shock it. That's lost income.

She's always been uptight, even in high school, the covered-in-pudding Jen remarked. How's it going, Brenda?

Hi, Jen, Brenda said, quickly acknowledging her with a small grin and then turning back to me. We're either going to have to ask you for more money or end things right now.

Oh, come on, Brenda! Jen kidded, tilting her head. These guys waited a lifetime to get married. Let them party!

Brenda shot Jen an annoyed look but didn't reply. I decided if money could solve it, then it really wasn't a problem. How about this? I began. You guys keep our damage deposit for your troubles. Give me an itemized bill for everything you have to do to clean up after us. Include any overtime you pay and whatever you think is reasonable compensation for the pool's downtime. Also include every single item that may have been ruined or damaged. And I'd like to know how many of your people either worked serving today or end up involved in cleaning up. I want to add a little gratuity for them. (That ended up being $1000.00 each. Yes, I can throw that kind of money around.)

Brenda was taken aback for a moment. I-I guess that would be all right, she stammered.

I saw Lori's eyes light up. Say Jim, did I just hear you say you'd replace anything that got damaged or destroyed? she asked with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

Knowing my old friend well enough to know she was up to something, I replied with the exact same conspiratorial tone, Why, yes, Lori, that is exactly what I said!

Brenda started to look worried. Lori, Jen, Connie and Lisa closed in and blocked any route of escape she had that didn't involve pushing her way through people covered in pudding. So, Lori continued, if saythe events manager suddenly found herself tossed into a swimming pool full of pudding to wrestle, you'd certainly pay for her suit, wouldn't you?

Now don't you dare! Brenda warned.

I ignored her and replied, That goes without saying!

Lori and Jen grabbed Brenda's arms and spun her to face the pudding pool. NO! NO! NO! she screamed as they started dragging her toward the pudding.

NO! STOP! she shrieked. I was worried that she would really get mad, but our photographer caught the expression on her face. It's the same one a girl gets when you're about to throw her in the pool and she knows there is no point in fighting it.

Jeff and Kris had cleared the pool by that point. Jen and Lori gave Brenda the bum's rush over the side of the pool and went in with her. The two conspirators went ahead and went under. Brenda face-planted onto the surface and floated on the viscosity.

Brenda got to her feet and screaming, NO! tried to get out. Lori and Jen popped up, grabbed her and dragged her screaming under the surface. Another victim claimed. She stuck her head and shoulders above the surface and started slapping the pudding and screaming, Waaaaaa! While she sat there impersonating Lucy Ricardo, Jen and Lori piled mounds of pudding in her hair and smeared it in well. I was a little worried at first that she would be pissed, but I should have known that girls in McKenzie were brought up to be good sports.

You take her on, Lori, Jen said. I've just had a match and I've got some making out to get back to!

Jen hopped over the side and went back to Joseph. They weren't the only couple enjoying each other. Quite a few gals had torqued their guys up showing off with the pies and pudding wrestling. Some of them were conspicuously missing, probably in a private corner someplace. We didn't pay any mind though. They were all adults and this reception had morphed into too much fun to care.

Take me on? Oh-ho NO! Brenda exclaimed.

The chanting began: BRA AND PANTIES! BRA AND PANTIES!

Brenda was laughing, but shaking her head while she smoothed pudding off her ruined jacket and skirt. Sorry, not gonna happen guys!

Oh, live a little! Lori teased. She, along with Lisa and Connie, were some of the few women who had spent any real time in the pudding pit and were still dressed. That soon changed. Lori reached down into the pudding and grabbed the bottom of her destroyed bridesmaid dress and yanked it up over her head to toss it into the crowd. Lori was wearing a really hot bralette and boy shorts set. The top had an unusual racer back design.

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The guys hollered and whistled, Terry the loudest among them. You know back when I first saw everyone again, I said they were taking things slowly? FYI, they got over that!

Everyone knew everyone in this town it seemed. I started hearing guys calling Brenda by name: C'mon, Brenda! Take it off!

Strip on down and wrestle, Brenda!

Be a good sport! It'll be fun!

All the while Brenda was laughing and shaking her head, No. She yelled out, I am not going to wrestle in pudding in my underwear!

The chanting began again: BRA AND PANTIES! BRA AND PANTIES! and this time everyone in the room was in one accord. We were all chanting. Lori kept teasing Brenda, reaching over and grabbing at her one button on her jacket and throwing pudding at her face. Now Brenda could have tried to get out, but she just kept standing there shaking her head and laughing.

Lori got a good grip on the button and accidentally, or maybe on purpose, yanked it off. (She still hasn't said which.) Guys hollered and the chanting got louder: BRA AND PANTIES! BRA AND PANTIES!

Brenda dropped her head in defeat. FINE! she shouted at everyone with her brow scowling but her eyes and the rest of her face smiling.

To the whistles and shouts of OH YEAH! OOOOWEEE! and YEAH, BRENDA! the clothes started pealing off. First it was the torn open jacket, then the black top went over her head and finally she dropped her skirt, sloshing it through the pudding and throwing it at the face of one her loudest fans who was right up on the side of the pool. The guy didn't even try to dodge it. Brenda's underwear suggested that she didn't intend to show it off when she left the house that day. (Why would she?) It was simple off white where pudding hadn't leaked through her clothes to stain it brown and looked like something proper from Bali or Playtex.

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As Freddy played his sound of a wrestling ring bell, Brenda twisted toward the largest collection of younger guys and yelled, Happy now? However, Lori took Brenda's submission to the crowd's demand for her to strip as a go sign to start the match and tackled her while she was looking the other way and made sure that any part of her underwear that was still off white was now brown when she plunged Brenda to the bottom of the pool. Lori probably could have pinned her right there, but would that have been any fun? Instead she let her younger cousin get up and regain her composure.

Cheap shot, Lori! Brenda complained, shoving her long pudding matted hair out of her face.

Gotta pay attention, cuz! Lori shot back.

Lori probably started to wish that she had taken that advantage. You see Brenda had been working and not really paying attention to how so many of the wrestling bouts were just plain silly. She was taking it seriously. And even though she was being a good sport about it, she may have been just a little pissed at being tossed into the pudding in her work clothes in the first place. There were no fake punches or anything like that no leaps from a chair onto her opponent. In the end, age and treachery lost out to youth and strength this time. Brenda won by submission. After a lot of rolling around, she got Lori on her stomach floating in the pudding. Brenda had one of Lori's legs bent up so she couldn't get herself braced against the bottom. Brenda dunked Lori's head about ten times until she gave up.

Lori was still a good sport about losing. She gave her cousin a big hug while a lot of guys cheered. (Some of them liked the women going at it for real like they do at mud parks.) Brenda also showed she wasn't that pissed by standing next to Lori with their arms around each other and falling stiff-board style forward to face-plant and sink under the surface.

Lori and Brenda hopped out of the pudding pool and Brenda hugged all of us. Well! she exclaimed. I certainly didn't think I'd get thrown in pudding, lose all my clothes, pudding wrestle in my underwear and have to go home that way when I left home today! She paused and added, But God, that was fun!

Lose her clothes? Didn't I mention that the rowdy guys were collecting the pudding covered clothing as souvenirs? The ladies didn't seem to mind. It was that kind of party! Once you're in your underwear and covered in pudding, clothes seem overrated anyway, even to wear home.

Brenda, Lisa said, tell all of your people working here that they are welcome to just have fun puddling wrestle, swim whatever they want to do. Just join in the party!

Thanks! I will! Brenda said. Since the pool is wrecked anyway, I think I'll go and rinse off.

Oh and don't forget that Jim will replace their clothes if they ruin them, Lisa added.

If you recall, we'd made that promise to all of the guests as well. However, many of them had come to us and told us not to worry about it. This party was worth some ruined (and missing) clothes.

Well the time had come for Brett, Connie, Lisa and me to launch our contribution to the craziness. Lisa and Connie's wrestling match had ended so quickly. Also it didn't seem right that when so many women had given up the dignity of clothes to amuse everyone that Lisa and I were still dressed, albeit in destroyed clothes, at our own party. Lisa and Connie's dresses were on their last legs, or stitches, anyway. This little production was going to rectify all of that. Lori and Terry removed the chair that Jeff had set next to the pool and put tables up on opposite sides of the pool that were just about the same height as the rim.

Freddy had a disco ball with his set up that he hadn't really used because there hadn't really been any dancing, but it worked for this. (We had let him in on what we were doing. He was going to help us.) Firing up the disco ball, he got everyone's attention by playing Let's Get Ready to Rumble! a.k.a Y'all Ready for This?






Lisa and Connie had lost their sandals during their first go-round in the pudding. They were still in there as far as we knew. Brett and I discarded our shoes and socks. They were starting to feel a little nasty anyway since we'd had them on ever since we first jumped in the pool. He and I took up a position on one side of the pudding pool and Lisa and Connie went to the other. Freddy potted down the music after about 30 seconds and did his best Michael Buffer impersonation.

Welcome to the headline bout of the evening! he shouted. This will be a tag-team match to determine the age-old question of who is better, boys or girls!

Well of course the men shouted, Boys! and the women shouted, Girls!

But we'll find the answer in A Wild Wedding Part 5