The Wetgalfan Chronicles: Chapter 27
A Wild Wedding Part 3

I started to laugh even before Connie moved because I knew exactly where this was going. Lisa held her pose and her sneer. Connie lunged forward, grabbing Lisa in a bear hug and like two ladies from the old days of Candace Michelle, Maria and Malina in the WWE, they both toppled into the pudding and disappeared under the surface. Screams, shrieks and howls of laughter erupted from all corners of the room. The ladies reappeared and squared off against one another. Until they each wiped the pudding covering their faces off with a single motion, it was impossible to tell who was who. Freddy found the sound effect of a boxing or wrestling ring bell and let it ring out.

Look at my dress! Lisa screamed. Oh, you are so going to pay, sis! (Remember from Part 2 that their dresses were already destroyed beyond help by swimming in them and a massive pie fight.) Lisa tackled Connie. Before they both disappeared under the pudding again with a chocolate splatter that hit the rapidly assembling crowd around the pool, I could hear both of them laughing. They popped back up on their knees and after clearing their eyes out, began hand-to-hand grappling, trying to dunk the other shrieking and laughing their asses off. Connie finally got leverage over Lisa and shoved her over to her side. Lisa hit the pudding with a loud splat. Lisa screamed, No! when Connie grabbed her head and shoved her under the surface.

That's one fall for Connie, Freddy announced when Lisa reappeared and stood up. It's best of three! Your opponent has to go completely under and your head at least must remain out of the pudding.

Let's try that again! my pudding covered lover said with a comical sneer. Both ladies got to their feet and began grappling standing up. Lisa got a foot behind Connie and tripped her. She fell backwards with a funny shriek and splattered into the pudding on her back. Submitting to the fall, she let Lisa put one hand on her face and one on her stomach and shove her under the surface.

That's one fall for Lisa! Freddy said. It's winner take all!

It's on now, girl! Connie exclaimed when she emerged from the glop to climb to her feet. Had this not been a wedding reception, (and what a reception), I'm sure there would have been plenty of liberal use of the B word, just like in the old days when the two of them would show off like this.

Lisa and Connie stalked each other, circling aroundmore like stumbling around, in the viscous chocolate pudding wearing dresses down to their feet. Shoes were lost by now, somewhere in the glop.

Get ready for a face full! Connie growled.

I'm so scared! Lisa shot back.

As they both trash talked before going for the last fall, I looked to the back of the crowd and made eye contact with Kay. She was still wearing her No thanks button and was among the eight or nine people who weren't soaking wet or covered in pie. She rolled her eyes. Then I looked back at the two maniacs in the pudding pool.

This could have been my whole life, I thought to myself. Then I thought about my girls who meant the world to me. Our lives happen the way they do for a reason. I had been with someone who wasn't quite as wild as Lisa, but still had her moments once upon a time until she changed for some reason. Lisa had been with someone who really didn't appreciate what a funny good sport she was at all. I think those experiences made us appreciate each other now more than ever.

Lisa and Connie made a couple of subtle gestures at each other that only someone who knew both of them intimately would detect. Brett was next to me and picked up on it too. Connie's gonna let Lisa win, he whispered to me. I nodded. It felt good that after all these years I still new my Lisa and her sister. Heck, she really was my kid sister now!

Connie put her head down and lunged at Lisa. Lisa stepped out of the way and shoved Connie on past her, using her momentum. Connie flung her hands out in front of her but there was nothing to catch. She hit the inflatable ring at the top of the pool head first, bounced off it and threw her arms up over her head to comically fall backwards into the pudding and let herself sink. The crowd cracked up.

Lisa wins! Freddy shouted.

Connie's head popped back up. Lisa offered her hand to help her up. Connie took it and yanked her down. Lisa screamed and flailed her other arm around and then splattered down in the pudding and sank. Watching them play was really making me horny. I had pie filling down my underwear, (we really played hard during the pie fight), and it wasn't helping since it made such a nice lubricant for the erection forming to rub against my boxer briefs every time I moved. Lisa surfaced and both of them started laughing. They stood and hugged in the pudding and purposely fell over.

Ladies, we were going to open that up for other wrestlers, Freddy said. Time to get out!

They stood up and sloshed their way through the glop to the side. They tried hiking up their dresses to climb over, but the pudding was so heavy and there was so much suction that they couldn't get them up. Lisa and Connie shrugged and both threw themselves over the side head first. People were beginning to hurt themselves laughing at them. This is my kind of wedding!

Lori raised Lisa's hand up in victory. Connie scooped up a double handful of pudding and shoved it in Lori's face and up into her hair. I wondered for a second if Lori would tackle Connie back into the pudding, but she just stood there with a funny scowl and her hands on her hips.

Give Lisa a congratulatory kiss! Freddy demanded.

You know it's your turn, right? Lisa whispered to me. It was all I could do to keep from jumping in with both of them earlier!

I turned my back to the pool and threw my arms open wide. Lisa threw herself into them in a sloppy and very delicious kiss and let her momentum push both of us over the edge. If I thought I had a boner earlier, it was nothing compared to how horny I got falling and slipping under the gallons of pudding with my crazy little goofball. Lisa felt my cock pressing against her and in the second before she rolled off me so I could surface, she gave it a playful squeeze.

We popped up and cleared our eyes out. Despite having my ears clogged with pudding, I could hear the people laughing hysterically. I think people expected me to wrestle her, but all I wanted to do was make out. Hell, if it had just been some of the old gang who we used to party at the reservoir with around, I would have been tempted to just rip off her clothes and let her have it. Instead, we pulled up together on our knees and kissed while I scooped handful after handful of pudding into Lisa's hair and smeared it around. She snickered through our locked lips, which made me all the hornier and made not stripping her naked and ravaging her all the more difficult no matter how many people were around!

Maybe we need to give them some privacy! Freddy called over the sound system.

We pulled out of the kiss and I helped Lisa to her feet. I swept her up into my arms.

Now there's a romantic guy! Freddy said. He's going to carry his sweetheart out of the pudding!

Want to fall in again? I asked her quietly.

As many times as you want, Lisa replied. It's our party!

Kiss me when I throw my leg over, I told her.

I waded to the side with her in my arms. It wasn't easy to do without falling down anyway. I made a couple of mock attempts to pull my leg out of the suction of the viscous glop and did it on my third try. As I attempted to step out, Lisa pulled me into a sloppy, tasty, chocolate kiss. I let myself fall backwards and we both went back under the pudding, still locked in a kiss.

I don't think they really want out of there, I heard Freddy say. He wasn't far from the truth.

Lisa came up beside me and stuck her tongue in my ear to lick up the pudding. I wish you could just fuck me in here! she whispered so only I could hear. Her mind worked just like mine! It hadn't even been twenty-four hours since our passion in the mud hole. Love in pudding would have been an excellent follow up.

We fell over the side like she had with Connie earlier. We stood and Connie joined us in a messy group hug. Lori stood right next to us, laughing and pointing and baiting. All three of us took the bait and grabbed her arm. I pulled her forward by her arm and Lisa and Connie followed through and grabbed her by the back of her dress and we tossed her into the pudding. She tucked her head into a dive and made sure that she went under. She stood and gave us a comical scowl with her fists on her hips.

The pudding ring is now open! Freddy announced. If you ladies want to put your names in the bin, we'll draw pairs for matches or if you have a score to settle with anyone, feel free to challenge them!

I love the South! Every woman and girl whose clothes were already wrecked by the pie fight lined up to put her name in and even a few who had been wearing No thanks buttons took them off and gave themselves over to the insanity. Even my kids got into it. You know who, however, did not. No surprise there.

Pudding wrestling became the highlight of the evening. It lasted for over two hours with some girls and ladies asking to wrestle each other and others just letting them pick matches by drawing names. Some were in ruined dresses. Others were in jeans or shorts and t-shirts. Then it started. Some of the younger guys who had been enjoying adult beverages began yelling, BRA AND PANTIES! BRA AND PANTIES! as a new pair would square off. Now for anyone familiar with the ladies of the WWE or GLOW, a bra and panties match meant that the women would try to strip each other until one of them was left in just her bra and panties and she would be the loser. Well, Lisa's daughter, Kris and her friend Rowan had waded into the glop and were squaring off when the chanting started.

BRA AND PANTIES! BRA AND PANTIES!

We really didn't think anyone would take it seriously. The girls, like Jen, also wore dresses that someone might think a little too sexy for a wedding, but they really weren't too bad. Kris, the younger's, was white and black, at least before pie, and pretty short with the back just high enough to hide her bra.




Rowan's dress had the opposite problem. It had a hard time hiding her bra from the front.




The girls, or I should say women since both are in their early twenties, looked at each other and giggled at the guys chanting at them. The longer they stood looking at each other, the louder it got. I heard Rowan shout over the din, YOU WANT TO?

Young Kris shouted back in reply, WHY NOT?

Both of them reached for the hem of their dresses.

Oh NO! Lisa cried.

Oh well, we all did it at your party! Lori remarked.

To the delight of the laughing, shouting and clapping crowd, they pulled their dresses over their heads and tossed them out of the pool to square off in their underwear. Young Kris wore a bright red bra and panty set and Rowan had on matching pink lace bra and string bikini panties that gave the crowd a generous view of her little round ass.






The collective redneck howls from the younger guys present was deafening when the two giggling girls grabbed each other in a bear hug and fell over into the pudding to vanish under the surface. The match was on!

I'm not sure I like that, Lisa said, a cautious smile on her face.

Now don't you start! Mom Kris scolded. She had stepped up behind us while the two younger women were getting ready to wrestle. Parties around here get out of hand like this all the time and I remember a certain young lady doing things that were just as crazy to impress a certain handsome army guy a while back!

Fine! Lisa relented and started laughing in spite of herself. Just remember that you haven't had a turn in there yet!

You're right! Kris replied and with a flip of her eyebrows added, I haven't!

Freddy was still commenting on the action in the pudding pool. Young Kris and Rowan had stood up covered in pudding and were stalking each other. Ladies! You're supposed to wrestle until one of you gets stripped to her bra and panties! he declared.

Both women looked over at him and just shrugged.

Who cares? We like this better! a younger fellow who had been hanging around with Young Kris, Rowan and Lucy at the Stag & Doe yelled. Both girls stopped stalking each other and cracked up laughing. God, I love this town!

Speaking of Lucy, she was standing just outside the pool in a very cute red, (or at least is was red before she was covered in pie), mini-dress.




Lucy had to know she was setting herself up. Then on the other hand, every woman who wasn't still wearing a No thanks button had to know that she was going to have to take her turn in there if for no other reason than to say she did it once. Lucy was cackling with laughter at the top of her lungs and pointing and her two pudding-covered and nearly naked friends. Her arm was extended out over the pool and she was nearly touching Rowan. Rowan and Kris shared a glance and grabbed Lucy's arm. She let out a scream as they dragged her over the side and let her faceplant in the pudding.

Hey! We've almost got enough for a tag-team match! Freddy exclaimed. You're a little overdressed compared to everyone else though!

Young Kris and Rowan helped Lucy out of her destroyed dress. By helped I mean they didn't give her a choice and yanked it over her head and tossed it away. Lucy stood there giggling. Thanks to her dress taking most of the damage, you could still see her sexy bra and panties were mostly still red with a white flower pattern.




Connie asked Lisa and me, You guys gonna have another underwear party to dedicate that new house?

May as well! Lisa replied, rolling her eyes. The people around her never did seem to have a problem with taking off their clothes if fun was involved.

You need one more for tag team! Freddy said. Any volunteers?

All three ladies looked around. They took him seriously. Suddenly, Young Kris saw someone and yelled out Janice! Get in here!

Janice was Brett and Connie's 2nd youngest. She was a year and a half older than Andrew and had just graduated from University of Tennessee. She was wearing what was probably the most sensible outfit, a gray tank dress that didn't look too expensive.




It was of course well destroyed by the pie fight by now and she simply yanked it off over her head and dropped it where she was standing about ten feet away from the pool and kicked off her flat sandals. She was wearing a maroon and black lace bra and panty set that complimented her dark brunette hair nicely.




The crowd parted for her and she took off on a run and dove over the side of the pool head first and went completely under. She popped up in the middle and gave her cousin a hug.

Looks like it's Kris and Janice versus Rowan and Lucy, Freddy said. Since it's tag team, we'll make it best of five falls per team.

Young Kris and Rowan squared off against each other. They grappled hand-to-hand for a bit and then Rowan wrapped her arms around Kris. They both lost their balance and disappeared under the pudding to everyone's amusement.

No point, Freddy chided. You both fell in. Let's see if Janice and Lucy can do any better.

Kris and Rowan tagged out to Janice and Lucy and they did the same thing. They were all four equally bad, but was it ever fun watching them try! I don't think any of them was really that concerned with winning. It seems all of them had really hit it off well with the guys who were paying a lot of attention to them at the Stag & Doe party and they were all really more concerned with showing off for them. I've told you about southern girls and their need to show off for their guys before, right? At least Darcie has. It's why girls mud wrestle at truck runs and that sort of thing. Anyway, it really made me nostalgic for the old days there in McKenzie when it was Lisa, Connie and Lori showing off for me, Brett and Terry. Girls in their underwear throwing each other around in pudding made me feel a few other things, but I was right next to my new bride. Those things are best left unsaid!

The match went on for five minutes with no one getting a fall scored. I saw Mom Kris, (I won't dare call her the elder) take Jen aside and begin to plan. Something was up. Kris went over and talked to Freddy.

All right! Connie shouted after we'd gone forever and not one of them had scored. We're just going to call it a tie! Take a bow, girls!

McKenzie girls never change. The four of them lined up and bowed to the side of the pool where Freddy's D.J. stand was, and let themselves topple over and go under the surface. We had officially hit the level of party where anything goes and anyone will do anything for a laugh. Well almost anyone. Somebody was at a table with her fifth or sixth Angry Orchard.

Where's Jen? Freddy asked.

Here! Jen said.

You're Great Aunt Kris says you once dug up all her flowers, Freddy announced to her and everyone. She says time to settle that score in the pudding!

This was what the two of them were cooking up. Jen and Kris approached the pool and each swung a leg over. Carful viewers got a glimpse of Jen's thong under that teeny weenie dress. They faced each other wading in the pudding.

BRA AND PANTIES! BRA AND PANTIES! the chants began. I'm pretty sure Jeff Senior was leading it.

Uh, guys, I don't think they're wearing bras! Freddy announced to the crowd. That much was obvious.

BRA AND PANTIES! BRA AND PANTIES! the chants continued.

Fine! Kris shouted. Give us a minute!

They started to climb over the side of the pool but Kris stopped Jen. They shared a look and nodded at each other. Then they both let their legs fall out from under them and fell backwards under the surface. Those hot dresses were ruined a long time ago. May was well have some fun.

The crowd was laughing and cheering them when they pulled themselves up. I don't care if Kris was twenty-two years older than I was. She still looked good covered in pudding. There had to be something in the water down there.

They both headed off into the ladies locker room. Two girls stripped to their bras and panties and entered the pool while they were goneO.K, they were my two older daughters who were showing off for their boyfriends. I'm not going to say any more about their match because, wellthey're my daughters. Describing Young Kris and her friends was pushing it. I am glad they were able to fit right in down here thoughand that it looked like it annoyed their mother.

Elizabeth and Katherine's match ended, but Kris and Jen still were in the locker room. After a few more minutes of them not returning, the chants started up: KRIS AND JEN! BRA AND PANTIES! KRIS AND JEN! BRA AND PANTIES!

The rowdy guys didn't have to wait much longer. Both of them emerged in underwear and came back to the pudding pool. Their hair was wet and they were clean. They must have jumped in the shower. Jen went full lingerie She wore a cute pink bra and garter skirt set with a thong underneath and black stockings.




Kris went the other way. She was in plain white everyday underwear from Playtex.



Not that I had a problem with that. Even now Kris rocked that looked. Remember how hot I thought she looked that very first morning Lisa and I discovered her habit of going for an early morning underwear swim in those gray bra and panties?



Kris threw one leg over the side of the pool and turned to face the majority of the crowd. I hope y'all are happy! she shouted. This was the clean underwear I was going to wear home!

You still can! Jeff shouted back. No one will know it's you in the back of the truck in your underwear when you're all covered in pudding! It'll be dark by then anyway!

Kris wrinkled her nose and stuck her tongue out at her husband. She threw her other leg over and waded into the pudding.

I had to admit though, I was a little worried about her. As good as she looked, she was still seventy-five. Is your mom up to this? I leaned to my new bride and asked.

She could probably take both of us, Lisa replied. Now that Dad is retired, they do the sunrise undie swim together every morning in the summer. They do a couple of laps of the pond.

But that still isn't wrestling, I replied. Lisa just shrugged. She apparently wasn't worried.

I should not have been either. It only took a minute to figure out that Kris and Jen had this worked out all along. They put on a better show than any of the ladies in the old WWE or G.L.O.W. ever could.

I'll teach you to dig up my flowers! Kris shouted.

That was twenty years ago! Jen shouted back.

And now I get my revenge!

Kris lunged at Jen and they both went under. Every other pairing had started that way, why not them?

No point, you both went under, Freddy explained.

No point? Kris complained. Well, watch this!

She gave Jen a fake wrestling punch which Jen reacted to like she'd really been hit. Kris hoisted her up on her shoulders and spun her around in a windmill before she fell to her side and slammed Jen into the pudding head first, making sure to keep her own head above the surface. I couldn't believe it! It must be the McKenzie water, or maybe it's just that hearty Tennessee pioneer stock. Kris's maiden name was Crockett after all!

Truth be told though, it looked like Jen climbed up on Kris's shoulders if you were paying attention. It just got better from there.

One fall to Kris, Freddy announced.

Kris pulled Jen up by her hair, although in true pro wrestling fashion it was obvious Jen was getting up on her own. Kris took Jen and ran her into the turn buckle, which in this case was just the side of the pool. However that motion woke Jen back up and she bounced off the side and clothes lined Kris. (It amazed me how Kris especially was doing these physical stunts. Morning swims, and I later learned workouts, in underwear had to help. However, I also learned later that as soon as Connie told Kris about her and Lori's pudding pit idea, Kris and Jen worked this whole bit out. I LOVE THIS FAMILY!) Kris fell backwards but just splashed onto the surface and didn't go under.

No fall, Freddy teased. She didn't go under.

Oh yeah? Jen shouted. She pulled Kris up by the hair, (again obviously assisted by the victim).

By the way, I keep mentioning how what is going on is obviously fake so you all know that this was all in fun. No one got hurt.

Anyway, Jen put her arm behind Kris's back. Kris was still acting like she was dazed. Jen put her leg out in front of Kris to trip her and shoved her from behind. Kris fell forward to face-plant into the pudding, assisted by Jen who pile drove her down under the surface with an elbow drop to her back, which again, she obviously pulled. (All right! I will just narrate from here on out. You guys know that they really aren't hurting each other.)

One fall to Jen! Freddy said as the unrecognizable Kris surfaced and stumbled around but quickly regained her composure.

Hey! Stop the match! Jeff said, commandeering the mic in Freddy's booth.

Freddy grabbed his mic back and asked, What? Are you afraid your wife's going to get hurt?

He offered it back to Jeff. No way! he replied. But it's going to be over way too quick! Who wants to do it the way ladies are really supposed to wrestle in pudding and make it win by pin or submission?

The crowd started cheering, especially all of the guys. And I do mean all of us.

All right, ladies! It's pin or submission! Freddy announced. Your husband seems to really be concerned about your wellbeing, Kris!

Nothing new! Kris shouted back. I immediately thought of the first day I met her and how Jeff made her jump the bicycle off the ramp on the dock because she lost a bet. She had made it look so much like she didn't like it because she didn't know me very well. Little did I know at the time how much she lived to make Jeff happy and do those sorts of things because he liked them. Lisa and Connie got it honestly.

Connie was standing in front of Lisa and me. She suddenly spun around and pointed at Jen and her mom squaring off again in the pudding.

WE need to do something like that! she said to both of us. I've got an idea! Brett, Jim, do you guys mind being good sports and getting a little humiliated by us at first if you end up giving better than you got when you win?

He and I looked at each other and grinned. You lead; we'll follow, I replied.

Now I was able to multi-task, (and I reviewed all the video that was shot), so I am able to narrate the rest of Kris and Jen's messy wrestling. However, just know the four of us were formulating a plan for the next several minutes while my new mother-in-law and new cousin-in-law were going at it in the pudding in their underwear. (Have I mentioned that I love this family?)

To Be Continued in A Wild Wedding Part 4