UMD Stories


The Wetgalfan Chronicles Chapter 25
Story by wetgalfanx
Posted 4/28/18     88 views
The Wetgalfan Chronicles: Chapter 25
A Wild Wedding Part 1

My phone chirped and it was a group message from Connie. Mom and I are ordering stuff for the reception. This is your last chance to back out of the pie fight!

I laughed. Lisa told her mom that we were going to have a huge pie fight at the reception like she wanted along with the formal pool party. She was ready to blame it on me if her mom said that she had just been kidding, but all her mom said was, Make sure someone videos it. You'll get a million views on You Tube. Highlights from the Stag & Doe already had five thousand views.

When we told Connie, she kept telling us we'd back out. That just strengthened our resolve. I waited too many years to get my Jim back, Lisa said. He can strip me topless and hit me with pies during the ceremony if he wants! (She got really excited reading the Darcie story about Karen's Trash the Dress video.)

Anyway, I was back in Indiana with my two younger daughters. Both school and college were about to let out for the summer and all three of us were headed down to McKenzie in a couple of weeks for the pre-wedding and wedding. My oldest would be coming up from Florida too. The phone chirped again and it was Lisa's reply: I'm still in if the City Boy is still in.

I typed, You just make sure we have three times as many as you made for the Stag & Doe.

O.K, but we don't have time to make that many ourselves, Connie texted back. We have to buy them. It's going to get expensive!

I immediately replied, Get four times as many then!

Lisa commented with a line of laughing emoticons.

Fine! It's your money! Connie relented. After a pause, she asked, Do you really want that many?

Lisa didn't give me a chance to reply. More if you can get them! she typed. It was my turn to use the laughing emoticons.

You guys get to clean up, Connie said. After dropping us off at Lisa's after the Stag & Doe party, Brett and Connie went back to the health club to clean up with Lori and Terry. They were there most of the night and didn't think about the fact that their clothes would be gone. I would have paid money to watch the four of them cleaning up that mess in their wet underwear. On the other hand, they had the keys to the place and went back outside for another pool party with it all to themselves after they were done. We had secured the same place for our wedding. We'd briefly considered just having it at their folks' house and swimming in the pond, but I'd done that to death in my stories. We weren't going to have a huge ceremony. The health club had a medium size meeting room that we could use for the ceremony and have the reception in the main banquet room. And of course there was the pool right outside!

Sorry, got a honeymoon to get to! Lisa replied.

Always excuses! Connie shot back and that ended our text conference.

Right after that, I received another message, this time on Facebook, and it was from my ex-wife, Kay. She had left her new husband and was back in Indiana staying with her parents until she found work and a new place to live. She said she was afraid she had made a terrible mistake and wanted to know if we could get together and talk about it.

I am only including this in a WAM story because I want to make sure people know that even if the grass looks greener on the other side, make sure you take a good long look at what you'll be giving up because it won't wait forever. Had I gotten this message a year earlier, I would have celebrated. Now I was just indifferent. I replied and told her that I didn't think that would be a good idea because I was about to get married again. She had known that I had found an old girlfriend before she left for England, but I had purposely not mentioned anything about how things were going in any correspondence we'd had and asked the girls to do the same. She had kept her Englishman secret from me when we were still married, so why should I share my personal business with her when we weren't.

I told her that her mistake was turning me loose to find someone again who instead of trying to make happy because I knew I'd suffer wrath otherwise, I wanted to make happy because she stopped at nothing to make me happy. I'm not saying Kay and I weren't that way once and if she had given herself over to the thought of recapturing it, we couldn't be again, but facts were facts. Lisa was my one great love. I'd always known it on some level and now I couldn't imagine ever being happy with someone else. A few days later, Allison told me that her mother wanted to come to the wedding. After talking to Lisa about it who said she'd back any decision I made, I said, Fine, as long as there is no trouble.

Time flew and soon we were all there for the wedding. We skipped having bachelor and bachelorette parties. We figured what happened at the Stag & Doe and what was coming up at the reception was wild enough for anybody. We had the rehearsal at the health club and the dinner was a catered barbecue at my new house. It wasn't finished yet, but the pond was. (Foreshadow!) We made sure everyone knew the dress was McKenzie casual, meaning jeans, sneakers, t-shirts, muscle shirts, tanks and cami-tops.

At the dinner, Lisa and I gave our gifts to our wedding parties and exchanged our gifts with each other. I gave mine to Lisa in a large envelope. She nearly passed out when she opened it. It was the plans I had my architect friend put together for Roy's old water slide property. It was called Splash from the Past. It featured the concrete water slide completely restored and the hill it was built into extended deep into the woods with tube slides, tunnel slides, a water coaster and a water obstacle course. I had an option to purchase the land next door and move the parking there so the parking lot could be converted into the pond with a sand beach diving rafts, slides, diving boards, swinging ropes and my favorite attraction: The Dam. Yes, he had actually designed a dam to create the pond with a spillway nearly identical to the one we spent so many hours riding, but was now off-limits. However, the spillway here would be covered in pool coating paint and be ridden on mats down into the tail water at the bottom to spare the riders' clothing. There was also a raging rapids tube slide that dumped into the pond. It was an homage to the old ride at Disney's River Country.

He also included bumper boats and a go-cart track, reminiscent of the old Wonder Waters in Kentucky and a miniature golf course that had hidden fountains, showers and squirters that would be activated to soak you if someone in the party asked for a special wrist band. Or you could be boring and play a dry round.

Jim, I Lisa stammered. She was speechless and starting to cry. Connie started to as well. Having to sell Roy's old slide was something they both hated.

Wanna know the best part? I asked. With a wink I added, No swimwear required.

I saw Lisa's eyes get even brighter. It was amazing that she knew exactly where I was going with that statement. We'd all been sitting around in the humid evening long enough. She set herself up brilliantly. Lisa stood to face me and throw her arms around my neck for a wet, sloppy kiss, just like old times.

But Jim, she began, trying her best to sound oblivious, if people don't wear swimwear, what will they get wet in?

I'll show you! I replied and grabbed her up over my shoulder. Oh, she screamed to make things look good, but I don't believe anyone thought the party wouldn't eventually end up in the water.

Dunk her, Jim! I heard Brett shout as I walked down the dock with her over my shoulder. We had our photographer there for the rehearsal and dinner and she shot pictures of me carrying her toward the water. My favorite one of the bunch was of me jumping off the end of the dock and Lisa looking straight into the camera with her hands thrown up and an Oh well! expression on her face. (There were at least five different smart phone videos of it too.)

We surfaced and Lisa splashed me. Her pink camisole top had turned dark fuchsia in the water and the skinny bronze bra straps that had blended into her skin tone were now several shades darker. Her hair looked so lovely plastered down. All right. I asked for it, she admitted. We both put a foot on the dock ladder and wrapped our arms around each other for another wet kiss.

The rest of the wedding party and family had made their way down the dock. Kris looked down at us smirking and shaking her head.

You two haven't changed one iota! she scolded. Can't even stay out of the water for your own party. Most of us laughed because if anyone had no room to talk about ending up in the water at inappropriate times

Lisa floated up on her back and just stuck her tongue out. It gave me a chance to see how good the new tight Levi's I'd bought her the last time we went shopping looked all wet. They were a good combination with the black flats she neglected to kick off when she knew she was going in.

Jeff stepped up behind Kris. I knew what was coming. Don't let your daughter get away with doing that, Kris! Get in there and take care of her! Jeff said and gave his wife a shove in the back. Kris screamed, but made no effort to catch herself before she toppled off the dock and soaked her rather faded Levi's, blue and gray striped camisole top and the pair of low-top Converse she wore sockless.

As the guests laughed even harder, Connie, wearing a pair of Lee jeans with holes in both knees, a guy's gray shooter t-shirt with a light blue sports bra underneath and a pair of canvas slip-ons stepped forward and dived off the dock.

What did you do that for? Lisa asked her.

I figured I was next so I may as well get it over with, Connie replied. Hey, everybody! she called to those standing on the dock. The water feels great!

The grandkids pushed Jeff in for pushing their grandma in and jumped in behind him. My girls all followed and then Terry carried Lori in wearing her sleeveless top and denim skirt. Slowly, the assembled masses on the dock gave in and joined us in the pond.

Lisa and I swam to the shallow water and we tossed our soggy shoes and my socks onto the grassy shore. What a vision she was standing there in that drenched top with the straps from her bra sticking out and those so very shiny wet Levi's. She'd even worn a leather belt. It was almost like old times, but the belt didn't have her name on it.

Race you to the raft! Lisa challenged and didn't even give me a chance to answer before she took off running for deeper water and plunged in. I was right behind her. She won.

You're out of shape, city boy, she teased from the ladder on the raft.

You got a head start! I countered.

That didn't used to matter back when you were a hot, sexy soldier, she teased. I guess you're just getting old!

I grabbed her foot and she let out a shriek when I yanked her off the ladder and back into the water with me. She popped back up and treaded water giggling before she dunked me under and raced up the ladder. I followed her and got hold of her to shove her in. She actually resisted, (playfully, of course), so I swept her up and jumped back in with her. We climbed out again and sat on the side with our jeans dangling in the water. No one else had made it to the dock yet, so we snuck a long, deep kiss.

Your girls seem to fit right in, Lisa said. Jumped right in. Are they used to swimming this way?

The two older girls had their boyfriends with them and all five were playing and splashing with Lisa and Connie's adult kids.

Sometimes, I replied. We usually had a wading pool in the backyard and someone was always getting tossed in. We also went to the Smoky's a lot and it was also sort of a tradition to jump in the creeks with our clothes on.

We talked and talked, interestingly enough about everything but the wedding. Lisa mostly wanted to talk about the water park. She was so excited. Sitting there soaked, she became that seventeen-year-old who accidentally got splashed by the boat wake at Paris Landing and gave herself over to falling in and swimming the rest of the afternoon with me. Of course, that was before I learned that jumping in with her clothes on was just the norm for her, as well as everyone else around here. I told her that attitude was what I was going to try to recapture with Splash from the Past.

How are you going to do that? Lisa asked. A lot has changed around here.

She was right. There were still a lot of families like hers who shared the same attitudes about swimwear, (and sleepwear for that matter), but McKenzie had really grown. Lots of city folk from Nashville and even Memphis had moved in there and still more had shown up with the expansion of industry in the area and the university. Public pools followed typical dress codes and while the health club management didn't seem too concerned about the occasional t-shirt or shorts in the pool, you didn't see many blue jeans in the water unless someone had a pond or a creek on their property. There was also the reservoir park, but with the dam closed off, it wasn't as popular with the younger set as it once was and many of those who did show up wore bathing suits.

I have some ideas, I replied. First, we'll encourage clothing in our dress code. We'll post it right on our rules that street clothes are welcome.

There also used to be a slide like Roy's in Indiana near Louisville that had special 'dress up' parties.

Really? Lisa sounded intrigued.

Yeah, the one I remember was called 'Late Night Splash' or something like that. You got a discount if you came in after nine o'clock in your pajamas.

Lisa flipped her eyebrows and looked at me sideways. You're forgetting that many of us don't wear pajamas around here, she said with a wink.

Way ahead of you, I replied. I already checked. Running around in your underwear on private property is not illegal in either McKenzie or the State of Tennessee!

No, I wouldn't suppose it would be since the clubs near the college all like having 'Underwear Parties', she replied.

Now how would you know about that? I asked.

Small town. You hear things, she replied with a smirk.

I started to get a hand behind her to shove her in, but she grabbed me. We wrestled, laughing and generally looking silly until we both toppled off the raft into the water. I was starting to get warm anyway and jeans can be uncomfortable as they start to dry. Keeping them drenched is much better!

We hung onto the ladder and stared into each other's eyes. Bedraggled hair plastered to her head, her makeup starting to run and even seeing drops of water caught between her eyelashes where her mascara hadn't started running was getting me horny. However, we had nothing but a half-finished house, a party tent or our cars to conceal us if I gave in to it.

Lisa didn't help make the urge pass either. Sometimes I wonder how I could deserve you after what happened back then, and now look, she began. I got you a monogrammed wallet for a wedding present and you're giving me a whole water park!

I just like spending my money on you, I replied. You can't take it with you. Besides, after tomorrow, it's half yours to spend.

A couple of friends had twisted my arm to get her to sign a prenup. I just couldn't think about it. This was Lisa! She had confessed to me how she'd often thought about me and been tempted to search for me, even when she was still married. We knew each other's thoughts. She earnestly said that if I'd been broke and desperate, things would still be the same between us; she'd still want me and be head over heels for me. On the other hand, she wasn't upset that I was embarrassingly rich.

And you wonder why you deserve me? I countered. Do you have any idea how many times a day I thank God that I found you again? I told your dad once that you were perfect. You still are!

She looked down and then back up with a smile. I still can't believe you did that for me though.

I have a confession to make, I admitted. It wasn't just for you. It was for Connie and Lori too. I know how much working for Roy meant to you. And I did it for me too. Hell! Our first time was up on top of that water slide!

Lisa blushed at that and snickered, but I went on, Do you think I want to see some developer knock it down and build a bunch of lookalike houses?

I love you so much! Kiss me, you crazy city boy! she said and I did just that. We let go of the ladder and went under with our lips still locked and our tongues slipping over each other. We hadn't noticed Brett and Connie pedaling toward the raft in my paddle boat.

Hey! Save some for the honeymoon! Connie quipped when we popped back above the surface. You two are going to drown like that!

But what a way to go! I replied.

Lisa and I crawled up onto Connie's side of the boat, making it tilt. We grabbed her and pulled. Brett assisted us with a push and the three of us splashed into the pond.

Way to defend your wife! Connie charged. You pushed me instead of holding on!

Self-preservation, Brett replied. You were going to flip us.

Oh! So now you're suddenly scared of the water! Connie challenged. She started swimming for the other side.

Brett began paddling in reverse, but Lisa still had hold of the boat and grabbed the pedals under Connie's seat. She climbed in from that side, I climbed into the rear-facing passenger seats in the back, and by that point Connie had gotten around to Brett's side. A little bit of wrestling and Brett was in the water and the paddle boat was left adrift.

It's just like you never left, Connie said. Us all acting like dumb asses in the water. Now I can't wait for that park to be built so we can ride the dam and really act like idiots.

As this was the rehearsal dinner, there weren't as many people as there were at the Stag & Doe. It was just wedding party members and close family. There were only two little kids there, our ring bearer and flower girl, Jeremiah and Jewel. They were Jeff Jr.'s grandkids and Jeff and Kris's only great-grandchildren. They were both four and they belonged to Jeff Jr.'s two older children. We noticed that they had become the center of attention as they had found a deep mud pit. It must be required that every construction site have one of those. Everyone was laughing at how they had become two little mud monsters. Everyone except Jeff's daughter and daughter-in-law, that is.

Look at you two! Crystal, his daughter-in-law and Jeremiah's mother exclaimed. You're in a wedding tomorrow and you look like two little pigs!

They did. They had found the mud hole and before anyone noticed had succeeded in sliding down a dirt mound face-first several times, going totally under each time.

Too late to worry about it now! Jeff Jr. shouted. May as well let 'em play!

My family, Lisa joked. Jewel figured out there was a deep end and jumped off the side. She vanished under the muck and then popped up thanks to the mud's viscosity. Jeremiah must have thought that looked like fun because he did it next. No one was worried. Kids in that family are swimming in the pond and playing in mud practically before they can walk. Jumping and diving into the deep part replaced sliding down the dirt mound as the thing to do.

May you never change, I said and gave her a kiss.

We jumped off the raft, salvaged the paddle boat and joined the rest of our guests closer to shore. The evening sun gave way to twilight and then night and people filtered out. The little mud monsters were stripped down and given a pond bath to get the worst of the mud off them. Eventually, it was just the six of us, Connie, Brett, Lori, Terry, Lisa and me, sitting out on the raft with our jeans dangling in the water. The other two couples said good night and left just my Lisa there with me.

God, look! It's almost midnight! I've got to go, Lisa exclaimed. Bad luck for you to see me before the wedding!

Ah, that only counts after sunrise, I told her.

You sure?

Of course!

Of course the only thing I was sure of was that I had no idea one way or the other. Who knows what the origin of that old superstition was?

Lisa said, In that case, there is something I want to do.

She stood up and motioned for me to follow her. We jumped off the dock and swam to shore. Lisa headed straight for the mud hole the kids had been playing in earlier. She stepped right in and let her bare feet sink into the gooey muck.

Ooooo! That feels great! Been wanting to do that since the kids were playing in it, she admitted.

I stepped in next to her and felt the warm mud squish between my toes and sank in it up to my ankles. Even in the dim illumination of the one security light, I could see that the cuffs of our wet jeans were already turning brown.

Lisa grinned at me and took another couple of steps. Unfortunately, (or fortunately) she found a spot where the kids had been playing and really churning it up. Her feet and shins immediately sunk nearly up to her knees.

Ah! Get me out! she cried.

Give me your hand! I said in my best Ahhh-nold Schwarzenegger voice.

I tried pulling, but she was really stuck and where I was standing was softer than I thought. It gave way and I sunk, falling forward at the same time. I bumped into Lisa who couldn't move so she just bent at the knee. She screamed and we went down into the mud, her on her back and me face first.

Now for 99.99% of the women I have met in my life, getting dumped in the mud on the night before her wedding would have caused a major meltdown. However this was my Lisa. As soon as it was clear we were both all right, she cut loose with that infectious laughter that I don't know how I lived most of my life without. She pointed at my brown face.

You look so lovely! she exclaimed.

So do YOU! I replied and shoved a huge ball of mud into her face. Lisa didn't dodge. She didn't flinch or duck. She sat there and took it like she wanted it. (I'm pretty sure she did!) Then the mud wrestling was on! We rolled and rolled around in it. I would get her pinned and dump gobs and gobs down her top into her bra or shove it into her jeans and down her panties. I didn't miss a chance to smear lots of it into her hair either. She gave as good as she got and by the time we took a breather, laughing our asses off at each other, we had it in our eyes, ears, noses, mouths, hair and underwear.

I wonder how many other couples have a pre-wedding mud fight, I said, spitting as much out as I could.

Only the true rednecks, Lisa replied, doing her best to spit what she could out of her own mouth and blow it out of her nose.

You little niece and nephew looked like they were having fun diving into that deep part, I said. Want to give it a try? We can't get any dirtier.

Lead the way! my goofball replied.

We crawled out of the pit and walked around to the edge where the deep drop off was. I went first and did a head-first dive. What a feeling to feel the sloppy ooze hit your face and disappear completely under it. I was totally enveloped for a second or two before the viscosity pushed me up onto the surface. Lisa followed. We did it over and over and I couldn't decide whether I liked doing it myself better or watching her.

This was one of those moments I wondered how I could be so lucky to be with someone who was so low maintenance, such a good sport and so in love with me that she'd be out playing in the mud with me on the night before we were getting married.

We took another break and sat in the shallow part of the pit, making out. We had plenty of mud in our mouths already. More from kissing wasn't going to hurt us. She pulled the muscle shirt pasted with mud inside and out over my head and tossed it onto the grass. I returned the favor with her top and bra. I played with her muddy tits and then started licking and sucking her muddy nipples. I was totally acclimated to the mud now and was starting to enjoy the taste.

Lisa was enjoying what I was doing. She took advantage of my face pressed into her tits to rub gobs of mud into my hair, as if it could get any worse.

It's really late, sweetie, she said. Are you sure it's just bad luck to see me after sunrise and not midnight?

Pretty sure, I replied, looking up at her. Pulling up and giving her a muddy kiss I added, I do know a guaranteed way to wipe out the bad luck though.

And that is?

I said, Givin' the bride a really good fuckin' in a big pile of mud!

Lisa giggled and said, You better get started then, city boy!

We finished getting naked and I laid her back in the mud. It made a comfortable bed; I will say. I looked at my muddy cock and asked, Should I wipe this off?

Don't worry about it, she said with a snicker and a sly look that came through despite her face being totally obscured by mud. It's full of mud anyway. A little more won't hurt.

Lisa gasped as I entered her. Playing like this with you made me so horny! she exclaimed. I started a slow sliding in and out, both of us enjoying how the mud enhanced the sensation. She came the first time very quickly.

Keep this up! she panted. Wait! Get some more mud! I want some more mud on you!

I slipped out, jacked myself with a handful of mud and then slathered it over her pussy and slid my cock back in.

Ohhhh! she groaned, That's so good! Then her mouth fell open and her eyes rolled back. I knew an explosion was imminent.

A few more minutes of fucking and she burst forth with a squirting orgasm and sprayed my crotch. Her whole body went limp.

Jim, do whatever you want to me, she gasped.

I thought I'd see how far she would let me take her up on that. I pulled out of her and spun around so I was on all fours with my engorged cock by her face. Lisa didn't have to be told. She tilted her head back and buried her hair in the soupy muck to get her mouth at the perfect angle and opened it up for me to finish her off with a face fuck. She didn't even complain when I dipped my cock down in the mud first. What a lover! She let me thrust as deep as I wanted to and hummed and moaned the entire time until I shot every drop of my wad into her mouth. She finished off with a very visible swallow.

That was awesome! My God, you sure know how to treat a girl! Lisa said.

I did a double-take. How many times had I written Darcie saying that after her Jim had thoroughly used her up in some wet or messy sex situation? I thought I had come up with it. Then it dawned on me. Lisa was where that came from! Despite me being able to recall so many details of our relationship when we were young, I had forgotten that she would say it after she had demonstrated just how submissively willing she was to let me thoroughly enjoy and use her up.

Can we just live in this mud? she then asked me. I swung back around next to her and took her in my arms. I never want to get out, she added.

I'll talk to the construction crews about leaving the mud hole behind, I replied.

If they won't, we're going to dig our own, she said.

We cuddled for another half hour, but even in the early McKenzie, Tennessee summer, it started to cool off. We gathered up our clothes and took our own pond bath before dressing in our destroyed outfits to leave. Even in the chilly air though, we couldn't resist running down the dock and diving in for one last race out to the raft. Neither one of us wanted that night to end.

I drove her home and then took myself to the Shooting Star where the girls, their boyfriends and I had rooms. Ordinarily I stayed with Lisa, but we were a big crowd and there was that whole bad luck thing.

Luckily the wedding was in the afternoon and I could sleep in the morning because I was in the shower for nearly an hour digging mud out of my nose and ears with Q-Tips, (Don't put Q-Tips in your ears, kids!) It was after three before I finally got to bed. Dreams of rolling naked in the mud with my crazy little goofball occupied my mind until the morning of the big day.
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