"Hey Jim! Come take a look at this," Julie excitedly called from the couch.

Jim stepped away from the vegetables he was cutting for dinner and joined his wife. She had the website of a local sex-positive adult store pulled up on her phone, and she was emphatically pointing at an advertisement for an in-person class at the store.

"Hands-On Wet and Messy Seminar," advertised the webpage. "Bring your sense of humor and an open mind to a series of classes on this slimy, sticky, silly, and sexy kink. Change of clothes provided."

"Oh my God!" Jim said. "I can't believe there's actually a class on it!"

"I know, I'm going to sign up! Unfortunately, the class appears to be only for women."

Jim frowned. "I wonder why?"

"Probably because the author wants to focus on female WAM, but don't worry, I'll tell you allllll about it when I get back," Julie said, pulling Jim into a kiss.

---

On the first day of the class, Julie arrived at the shop early. She walked in and looked around at the other patrons browsing the store. As she scanned the room, a familiar redhead caught her eye.

"Rose?" Julie asked.

"Julie! I was wondering if you'd show up to this!"

"So you *are* a wammer," said Julie, conspiratorally. "I was wondering after what happened at the wedding."

"Sort of. George is really into it. That's actually how we met. He was the highest bidder for the chance to throw a pie in my face at a charity auction. Raised a lot of money that day!"

"Well-spent, by the sound of it"

"So it's not really sexual for me, but I just think it's fun! I couldn't believe what we did to you at your wedding."

"Oh, Jim had all of that planned. It took forever that night to get the mess out of my hair. Glad our stylist didn't see what you guys did to my updo!"

Rose giggled, "It was fun to watch our beautiful bride get splattered with pie!"

"I bet it was!" said Julie. "I never wear makeup - I guess it's fitting that the one time I got all girly I got it trashed!"

"Glad you had fun. I can't wait to see what they have planned for these classes!"

"Me too!"

A petite woman with black hair in a ponytail stepped out of a nearby doorway. "Everyone who's here for the 7:00 class, come on in!"

Julie stepped through the door. The room was lined with plastic sheeting. There were several rows of chairs set up, and at the front of the room there were two carts full of pies, a kiddie pool, and a few buckets of slime. It looked like everything needed for a fun evening.

"Hi everyone, go ahead and take a seat," said the instructor.

Julie sat down next to Rose. There were six other women in the class. They were chatting excitedly - Julie caught a few snippets.

"I've always wanted to try this!"

"I didn't know there would be so many pies!"

"I'm nervous!"

The woman running the class stepped to the front of the room.

"Hi everyone, welcome to our first WAM class! My name is Samantha and I'm going to be your instructor. First of all, I'm curious to know more about you. How many of you are here because your partner has a WAM kink?"

Julie, Rose, and two other women raised their hands.

"Great. How many of you have a WAM kink yourselves?"

A brown-haired woman in the front row raised her hand.

"How many of you are here just because you're curious?"

The remaining three hands went up.

"Okay, that's about what I expected. Hopefully through this class we'll give you a good background on WAM, and teach you a few things to bring home to your partners or try yourself."

"Let's start with the very basics. WAM stands for 'Wet and Messy.' It's an umbrella term that encompasses two different but related branches. The first is wetlook, which involves either getting water poured on you or swimming, usually clothed. The second is 'messy', which involves being covered in various substances. Note that in both cases, WAM specifically does not include bodily fluids. Facials, while perhaps WAM-adjacent, are not considered WAM. This class will mostly focus on the 'M' part of WAM. Messy substances can be food or non-food items. Food is usually divided into "sweet," like whipped cream and cake batter, and "savory," like baked beans or ketchup. Non-food substances include things like slime, paint, and mud. Mud in particular is a major branch of WAM.

"We're going to cover one of the most common types of WAM and also one of the easiest to do yourself. I call it 'Gameshow Influenced Wam'. Many WAMmers - yes, that's a word - first discovered the kink while watching gameshows that involved some sort of messy punishment, or sometimes a messy prize.

"The most common messy substances on these shows were whipped cream pies" - Samantha gestured at the carts of pies - "and what Americans and Canadians call 'slime' and what our British friends call 'gunge'" - she gestured at the buckets of viscous, green liquid.

"Now let's watch a clip from one of these gameshows so you can see what I mean. This is a clip from a show called 'College Messy Olympics.'"

Samantha clicked on a TV mounted to the wall. A recording came up of a live show, evidently on a college quad. A blue-eyed, reddish-blond haired girl named Sarah stood barefoot on a blue tarp wearing a bikini, surrounded by her classmates. She was given a pair of old sneakers knotted together and told by the host that she had thirty seconds to untie them. Three pies sat menacingly on a cart in front of her, the punishment for failing the challenge.

The clock started. She worked methodically, trying her best to pick the knots apart. Her tongue stuck out in careful concentration.

Back in the classroom, the eight women looked intently at the screen. Some squirmed in their seats, maybe silently cheering Sarah on. The fact that Samantha picked this clip, however, suggested to the students that the sweet-looking Sarah would not succeed.

The buzzer sounded and the college crowd cheered. Sarah stepped to the center of the tarp, rolled her eyes and laughed. She seemed to be ready to take her punishment bravely - brushing her beautiful, shoulder-length hair back and placing her hands at her sides.

"Perfect, 'Straight-A Sarah' gets no points for the first challenge," said the host with mock sympathy. "Instead, she gets a pie right in her face!"

A young man strode up with a large whipped cream and chocolate pie. After a little more teasing by the host to draw out the moment, the fellow student threw the pie right in Sarah's pretty, lightly made-up face. The mountain of cream splattered everywhere and all over Sarah's swimsuit and bare skin. Gobs of cream landed on her shoulders, rivulets of cream-mottled chocolate pudding rolled down her chest and onto her flat stomach before finally trickling down her beautiful bare legs.

Sarah broke out into giggles and attempted to wipe her face.

Samantha stopped the clip.

"So what did we see there? What do you think makes a scene like this sexually exciting for some people?"

One of the women in the first row put her hand up. "A beautiful college girl got taken down a peg?"

"Certainly. A pie in the face is often used as an insult in comedy or even in protest. But what else did we see?"

Rose raised her hand. "She broke a taboo."

Samantha nodded encouragingly. "What do you mean by that?"

"We're not supposed to play with our food. We're not supposed to have food fights. We're supposed to respect our food and be polite. So what's more contrary to that than getting a pie in the face?"

"Good! Anyone else?"

A studious-looking brown-haired woman with glasses raised her hand. "She let herself be vulnerable, and allowed that guy to completely ruin her appearance in front of everyone."

"Very, very good. What's your name?"


"Jenny."

"Very good Jenny! You'll get to explore that later when it's your turn to get messy," Samantha said with a wink.

Jenny blushed.

"Ultimately, it's impossible to say exactly why this is a kink," Samantha continued. "There are probably more reasons than we even know. kinks are very personal and hard to explain. There's certainly no easy explanation for balloon popping, or feet, or many, many other niche kinks and fetishes."

"So now, let's do some exploration together! It's time for the hands-on portion. Don't worry, everyone will get at least a little mess."

There was some nervous laughter from the group.

"By the back door are some bags with your names on them. They have your clothes for the activity today. We have set up some outdoor showers behind the building. Use the stalls to change, and be sure to leave your socks and shoes behind."

--

Julie laughed as she examined the kit provided. A white tank top bearing the text "Pie Me" and some navy blue athletic shorts. She slipped off her sneakers and socks, freeing her toes, which coincidentally were recently given a dark blue pedicure that matched the shorts.

Julie walked back into the classroom. Everyone giggled as they realized they all had the same "Pie Me" shirt.

"Welcome back everyone," said Samantha. "I hope you all like your new attire. As you may have guessed, we're going to start with pies."

"Pies are among the easiest WAM substances to make, and can be as simple as shaving cream on a plate. These pies are made with my personal favorite recipe. We have a storebought graham cracker crust filled with pudding. Over that is a generous helping of whipped topping, stabilized with a little vanilla frosting. These pies stick to the face - and other parts of the body - very well," Samantha said with a pointed look. "Plus, they taste great, and splatter quite dramatically."

"Pies are a great way to practice our first lesson: anticipation and reaction. Like most fetishes and kinks, these are just as important as the act itself. Depending on what the fetishist prefers, the wrong buildup and reaction can be deeply unsexy. But, every person is different, so for those of you with WAMmer partners, make sure you talk beforehand so that you are both on the same page."

Samantha continued the lesson. "Going back to the video I showed you earlier, today we are going to focus on the concept of 'gameshow-influenced WAM'. It has two key characteristics. First, it's unscripted, or at least appears that way. This adds a sense of randomness and realism to the reactions. Second, consent is implied. Participants in these games know in advance they may be getting messy. They don't have to want to get messy, but they know it might happen. There are WAM setups that come off as surprises or feel mean-spirited. That's not what we're going for here. Gameshow-influenced WAM is a very silly, fun, and safe form of consenting humiliation.

"With that, I think we're ready for our first hands-on lesson. Who here has never gotten messy before?"

Three students raised their hands.

"Great! Who wants to get messy first?"

Two hands went down. Jenny, the bespectacled woman from earlier, kept her hand up, but Samantha pointed at the first woman to put her hand down.

"Excellent! You'll be our first victim - come on up here!"

The class laughed as the woman covered her face with her hands and gave a resigned chuckle. She walked up to Samantha and stood facing the class. She had short brown hair that fell around her shoulders and brown eyes.

"What's your name, dear?" asked Samantha.

"Amanda"

"And why did you come today?"

"My boyfriend wants to WAM with me, but I wanted to learn more about it first."

"Well, you're an awesome girlfriend for coming tonight," said Samantha. Amanda blushed.

"Amanda here is going to model the 'reluctant but willing' reaction. This one is hard to get right, so pay attention."

Samantha walked back to the cart and retrieved a pie. Amanda watched nervously over her shoulder as Samantha nonchalantly approached with the big, pillowy dessert.

"Hi there Amanda, how are you doing?" teased Samantha as she sidled up next to her.

"G- Good" Amanda stammered.

"I've got a pretty big pie here"

"Yeah," Amanda said timidly.

"It's big, it's fluffy, it's sweet"

Amanda looked at the pie and giggled through a grimace. Samantha moved the pie right under her chin.

"...and it's going to make huge a mess alllll over your Pretty. Little. Face."

Amanda brought her hands up and covered her face.

"OK, very important point!" Samantha said as she broke character. "No matter how nervous you are, Do. Not. Block. The. Pie. You can put your hands wherever you'd like, but when it's time to get pied, no covering the face and no blocking. OK, Amanda?"

"OK." Amanda clasped her hands behind her back.

"Now, are you ready to get pied?"

"No?" Amanda gave a mock panicked look as she shook her head.

"Too bad. Audience, count it down! One"

"Two"

Amanda screwed her eyes shut

"Three!"

SPLAT! It exploded on impact, sending cream, filling, and crust onto Amanda's "Pie Me" top and onto the floor. Samantha rubbed the pie into Amanda's face.

The tin fell away, revealing Amanda's agape mouth.

"Oh. My. God!" Amanda's shocked expression gave way to an open-mouthed laugh. She brought her hands up to clear her eyes, then looked out at the laughing audience.

"How was your first pie in the face, Amanda?" asked Samantha.

"It's COLD!"

"Yes, that's most people's first reaction. When you're using edible ingredients for pies they usually have to be cold."

Amanda scooped a bit of cream on a piece of crust out of her cleavage and ate it. "You know what though? That tastes amazing!"

"Being a WAM target has its advantages for sure," said Samantha. "I'll let you clean up a little bit" - she handed Amanda a towel - "and you can sit back down. Let's hear it for Amanda! She was very brave and had the perfect buildup and reaction!"

The students and Samantha enthusiastically clapped.

"Now, who actually wants to get pied?"

"Oh, what the heck," Julie thought to herself. She stuck her hand up.

"Yes ma'am, in the back!" Julie smiled and stepped to the front of the class.

"What's your name?"

"Julie"

"And Julie, why are you in this class?"

"My partner's a WAMmer and we get messy as often as we can. Actually, Rose back there" - Rose smiled and waved - "and I have a great story about my wedding. I'm here to get some pointers to make our WAM experience better."

"Another great partner. Awesome, Julie! Can you model the nervous but enthusiastic victim for us?"

"Sure!"

"So this" - Samantha said as she retrieved the pie - "has a bit of nuance to it. You definitely want to get messy, but like most people you have a little bit of apprehension. Maybe you don't want to get pied in front of so many people" she gestured to the class as Julie giggled "maybe you don't want to get it in your hair" she stroked the top of Julie's head "or ruin your makeup" she swirled an open palm in front of Julie's face as the target closed her eyes and giggled some more.

"So there's some fun, playful tension as Julie is doing a great job demonstrating. The best way to think about the nervous but enthusiastic demeanor is that it's like riding a rollercoaster: you got on willingly, there's some nervous anticipation at the beginning, but once it gets going you just enjoy the ride."

"So Julie are you ready to get pied?"

Julie tucked a bit of her blond hair behind her ear as she looked down at the pie, then looked up at Samantha standing next to her.

"Ye*heh*ah" she said through a giggle as she nodded quickly and nervously. She held her hands at her sides in tight fists and looked straight ahead.

"Ok, one"

"Two"

Julie shut her eyes and scrunched up her nose.

"Three!"

SPLAT! Samantha rubbed the pie into Julie's face and let the tin come to rest on her head. Julie laughed and blinked her eyes open, then licked her lips.

"Oh, this does taste good!" she exclaimed. She cleared some cream from her eyes and licked her fingers. "I need to get Jim to start using this recipe."

The audience chuckled as Julie felt the top of her head and discovered the pie tin.

"Oh! I have a new hat."

She discarded the tin on the floor and Samantha handed her a towel.

"Great job Julie! You can have a seat. As you get more experienced with WAM, it can be easy to lose those playful, innocent reactions. When you get messy, try to have a persona in mind. Like I said, for those of you with WAMmer partners, ask what they like as well."

Julie dabbed her face with the towel as she went back to her chair next to Rose.

"How was it?" Rose whispered.

"It was fun!"

"I keep hearing how good these pies are - let me have a taste." Rose took a little pie off Julie's face and licked her finger.

"Mmm. Oh yeah, I won't mind getting one of these!"

Samantha continued the lesson. "Let's do one more example." She pointed to the woman who raised her hand that she had a WAM kink earlier. "Dear, did you say you had a WAM kink yourself?"

"Yeah, I did!"

"Come on up!"

She excitedly jumped up and stood in front of the class.

"What's your name?"

"Laurel."

Laurel had curly brown hair and striking grey/green eyes.

"Laurel, can you do an overtly sexual reaction for us?"

"Oh yeah!"

"So you won't see this on any actual gameshow, but we're talking about a kink here, so we can have some fun and 'sex it up' behind closed doors."

Laurel smirked.

"Laurel, what turns you on about WAM?"

"Definitely the humiliation, and the transgressiveness. I play around with BDSM too, but I like how silly and fun WAM is. Sometimes I combine them and get messy when I'm tied up!"

"Oh, interesting! Do you want to be tied up now?"

"Sure!"

Samantha pulled a chair over. "Have a seat."

Laurel sat down, and submissively crossed her hands behind her back. Samantha got a length of rope from a bag of supplies she had in the corner.

"Uh you just happen to have rope on hand for this class?"

"Comes in handy," said Samantha as she tied Laurel's wrists.

With her hands tied, Laurel wriggled to sit up straight, her breasts bouncing as she did. Samantha picked out a pie and brought it over.

"Do you want a taste first?"

"Sure!" said Laurel enthusiastically.

Samantha swirled her finger on top of the pie, gathering a bit of cream, and brought her finger to Laurel's lips.

"Uh, excuse me? What the fuck is happening right now??" interrupted a student who was very confused about the scene she was witnessing.

"You're characters in an erotic fetish fic, just roll with it," admonished Samantha.

"Mmm," said Laurel as she sucked Samantha's finger.

"Do you want the rest of this pie?" cooed Samantha.

"Yes," Laurel said in a sultry voice.

"I'm not convinced. Do you really want this pie?"

"Yes, please," Laurel pouted.

"Are you sure? It's a big pie, it's going to be a big mess"

"Yes, I want you to pie me!" Laurel was practically panting now.

"Okay, if you insist"

SPLAT! Samantha pushed the pie, not into Laurel's face, but on her chest. Laurel yelped. Samantha rubbed the pie back and forth across Laurel's breasts, which were thrust forward by the way she was holding her arms behind the chair.

"Hey!" protested Laurel, as she looked down.

"What? You said you wanted the pie!"

"I wanted it in my *face!*"

"Oh!" replied Samantha in a mock-innocent tone. "Well, you didn't say that"

Laurel shook the hair out of her face and stuck her head forward, presenting an inviting target to Samantha as she grabbed another pie.

"Please pie me in the face!"

Samantha slowly pushed the thick, fluffy pie into Laurel's face, rubbing it all over.

"Ah," Laurel sighed, satisfied, "that's better."

Laurel licked her lips and blinked slowly, the cream sticking to her eyelashes as she gave the class a seductive look. Suddenly, Samantha approached from behind with yet another pie and slammed it right down on top of Laurel's head. Laurel gasped.

"Okay, can I go now?"

"Just a minute." Samantha approached from behind again, this time with two pies. She paused and held the pies on either side of Laurel's face.

Laurel looked back and forth between the two pies, then laughed. "Okay, let me have it."

SPLAT!SPLAT! Samantha delivered the pie sandwich. Laurel's face was now a mess of whipped cream, pudding, and crust.

"Now, you can get out," said Samantha. Laurel slipped out of her restraints and began sensually rubbing the cream all over the exposed skin on her chest and on her face.

"Oh fuck, that feels so good! I'm such a mess!"

Laurel was in no hurry to get up, but knew the class had to continue. She reluctantly rose from the chair. As she did the mess that had pooled in her lap spilled onto the floor onto her bare feet.

A few seconds of stunned silence passed.

"This didn't happen at my old school," someone in the audience mumbled.

"Thank you Laurel! While a lot of people like to build up mess slowly. A few pies at once can be a sexy way to overwhelm the senses and give yourself over to the experience.

"Alright, now that we've demonstrated some ways to approach getting messy, we're going to play two games so everyone gets some hands-on experience. Remember, nobody is staying clean!"