A huge hat tip to Jouette and the "Chi's WAM Carnival" story, which provided inspiration for some of the physical challenges here. That story can be found at https://jouette.neocities.org/stories/carnival/

This is Part 1 of the story. For Part 2: https://umd.net/stories/the-wall-of-shame-part-2-a-what-would-yo

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SCENE 1: IN THE WAITING ROOM
"Whoa, this is what they do to people? Sucks to suck!" she said.

"Low key need to see this happen today," he replied excitedly.

Britt, Danny, and six others are college friends and recent grads on a midwinter vacation. They're taking a week away from their low-paying entry level jobs in Chicago to let loose and go wild in Daytona Beach, Florida. The guidebook in their Airbnb mentioned a Comedy Channel TV show that shot locally, so on the last day of their trip, after an afternoon of day drinking, the group turned up at the studio, looking to fill the time before one last night of partying.

They were here for a taping of "What Would You Do", which recently wrapped its 30th anniversary season. In the studio lobby, framed posters and a banner above them reading "The Wall of Shame" held Britt and Danny's attention.

The posters featured victims from last season in messy contraptions, covered in slop and in various states of shock: Jamie, who failed a yoga challenge and got sent to the Pie Pod's successor, the Pie Machine; Alice, a European tourist who was welcomed to the States with a ride on the Pie Coaster, which rammed her straight through a massive pie; an entire bachelorette party, faces dripping with fake semen courtesy of the Creampie; and Tyler, face down, ass up, naked in a giant pie after a trip down the Pie Slide.

Just past the row of posters was a sign in large bold print. None of these people were too pleased about getting these surprises, so Comedy Channel posted a notice that took on a foreboding tone:

"During today's taping, audience members may be asked to play games that may result in messy consequences. Clothes can be soiled from coming into contact with substances used, which may include (but are not limited to) whipped cream, pudding, fruit pie filling, cake batter, syrups, and other condiments. Participants may also be instructed to undress as part of the games. By entering this studio, you understand these risks, that participation is at your own risk, and that you will not be compensated in any way for your participation or for soiled items."

Since the notice sat beyond an entertaining set of photos, and with the sign having "too many words on it", as a tipsy Danny mumbled to himself, he didn't bother to read it. Placing it here, where only conscientious (or boring) people would read it may have been the goal all along.

In part to escape the local drama of taping an adult-themed show near a family resort complex in Orlando, WWYD took a year off to relocate to Daytona, a party town that would attract more spring breakers and young adults to tapings. Proximity to the beach could bring in young people wearing less clothing, which was what the network wanted. Unsurprisingly, adding stripping to games last season corresponded with a huge spike in viewership.

And Daytona delivered. Most women in the waiting area wore thin cover-ups over bikinis, many of the guys board shorts and t-shirts. Only a few even wore long pants, and only one wore a collared shirt. Most of the friend group fit in, except for Britt and Danny. Before drinks, they skipped the beach to shoot a fitness vlog after a morning jog together.

They stuck out like sore thumbs amongst the beachgoers. Their athletic builds fit a stereotype, from their athleisure to their running shoes. Petite Britt looked California cool in a matching baby blue set: a tight, scoop neck crop top and yoga pants with an ever-so-slight shine that read "alo" on the left calf, her chestnut brown hair resting gently on her shoulders.

Danny was similarly dressed, reflecting his no-fucks-given attitude. He ran track in college and he wanted you to know it. The Peloton logo was stamped prominently all over his outfit, a tight gray v-neck tee framed around his toned chest and sculpted arms, charcoal-colored yoga pants molding to his round backside and his very visible bulge. He was almost daring you to look at it. His carefully styled dark brown hair didn't allow for even a single wayward strand.

Sometimes, it felt as though this "lifestyle" (as Britt and Danny described it) was something their friend group merely tolerated. Sure, they were trying to get their YouTube channel off the ground, but at times, they came off as tacky, wannabe ambassadors for their respective brands just trying to get some free stuff. They clearly enabled each other to be this way, but they had kind hearts, so everyone tended to cut them a break.

In the waiting area, their friend Emma said she'd use the bathroom real quick. She disappeared down a hallway, right as a production assistant entered through a studio door, instructing everyone to line up. The seven of them raced to the head of the line (as much as a tipsy group of twentysomethings could, at least), and Emma eventually rejoined them. Their hustle earned them their pick of seats, and they found a perfect match: a row of 8, second row center. They'd definitely be on camera!

Once seated, they scoped out the set, and were awestruck by the impressive sizes of all the contraptions that once contained the victims from the front hall:

The Pie Machine, which now featured a sign above it reading "The Torture Chamber";

The breadth of the Pie Coaster and the truly gargantuan pie the tracks led straight into;

The Pie Slide, a chair descending to the largest kiddie pool/pie they'd ever seen, filled to the brim with whipped cream and looking like a dessert made by the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man;

And the Dunk Tank, which towered over the set, 17 feet tall, with a seat suspended 10 feet above a giant cylindrical tub, its contents the pure white of pie cream. A small claw, like that from an arcade game, hung over the tank as well for some reason.

The studio finally filled up, and a stagehand warmed up the audience with some call and response games. The lights dimmed as he yelled, "10 seconds!"

The audience counted down -- surely not the last time they'd count today -- the lights rose, and bounding out from stage right to rapturous applause was the man himself, Marc Summers.

"Welcome everyone, to the season premiere of What Would You Do! How are ya today?!

"This is the show where we play all kinds of games, give audience members the chance to win fabulous prizes, all to ask them that very sacred question, 'What Would You Do?'

"We're in our new home of Daytona Beach, Florida, and this season, we're going even bigger. Bigger prizes, wilder games, and lots more fun!"

Marc's tone turned sinister. "As long as you don't lose."

"For our season premiere, we're gonna kick things off with a mega game and a mega prize for our winners!"

"And some mega surprises as well, but you'll have to wait to find out about those." The audience rustles, wondering if this is a nod to the Wall of Shame in the front hall.

"So without further ado, let's play our game! I need some volunteers!"

Hands shoot up, full of the promise of one of these "mega" prizes. Marc runs all over the studio, looking for the perfect participants. "I'm looking for couples! Three teams, one guy, one girl let's see here"

"You two!" He points at an adorable couple in their mid-20s and calls them down.

He jogs up some stairs, across the aisles, and spots two more. "Yes, the both of you, please!" Two very young-looking college kids high-five and head down to the stage.

"And for this last one, I already have some folks in mind! Before the show, I was informed by the producers that we have a secret nomination"

Marc pulls out a slip of paper from his inner blazer pocket. "I have a note here, from someone in the audience.

"She'd like to nominate two of her friends. They're all on vacation, but instead of going to brunch with everyone this morning, they went off and did their own thing.

He continues reading the note. "She says they're always broadcasting how fit they are, always wearing workout clothes that cost more than a week's groceries. He walks around not caring that his junk is showing for everyone to see.

"Well if she wants them to play, who are we to stand in Emma's way?"

Behind Marc's right shoulder, in full view of the cameras, Britt and Danny's heads whip to their left to glare at Emma. She didn't go to the bathroom at all!

"So Britt and Danny, come down and join us!"

A smiling Emma nudges them toward the aisle, but they're apprehensive.

"Come on, this will be fun!" Marc cajoles.

They finally stand up and walk reluctantly to the stage. The audience chuckles as, sure enough, amongst the bikinis and board shorts, these two fit Emma's description exactly.



SCENE 2: THE BALANCE BEAM
[Narrator note: I know you're wondering what everyone looks like and what they're wearing. Since there's no natural way to easily describe 6 people within a story, I'll just outline it here:

Mid-20's Couple:
Taylor is a stately 5-foot-8 with dirty blonde hair and an hourglass figure. She's in flats, a light pink bikini bottom, and a white open-front coverup tied in a knot at the waist. A lavender single-strap bikini top peeks out from underneath.
Eric is a man's man, 5-foot-11 with Fabio-like flowy blonde hair, albeit with a slight beer gut. He's in low-top Chuck Taylors, knee-length dark brown board shorts, and a plain gray t-shirt.

College Couple:
Megan is a sorority girl through and through. At 5-foot-5, she sports wavy Auburn hair, a slim build but with surprisingly thick hips, and a suntan (or is it sunburn?), with flip-flops on her feet, lime green running shorts over white bikini-style panties with blue polka dots, a white Kappa Delta tank top over a canary yellow bralette.
Sam is her sorority hunk. At 5-foot-10, he has a muscular build, close cropped dark blonde hair and aviator sunglasses on his head. He's wearing boat shoes, heather gray sweat shorts, and a light green 2021 Delta Chi Rush Week t-shirt that just so happens to match his girlfriend's shorts.

Nominated friends:
Britt is a petite 5-4 with chestnut brown hair resting gently on her shoulders. She's wearing running shoes, slightly shiny baby blue yoga pants with "alo" written on the left calf, and a matching tight, scoop neck crop top covering up a beige sports bra.
A "short king", Danny is 5-7 with running shoes and the Peloton logo stamped prominently all over his outfit: a tight gray v-neck tee framed around his toned chest, flat stomach and sculpted arms, charcoal-colored yoga pants molding to his round backside and his very visible bulge. His carefully styled dark brown hair didn't allow for even a single wayward strand.]

The couples stand side by side, and Marc begins the introductions.

"Hi there, introduce yourselves please?"

The mid-20s couple goes first. "We're Taylor and Eric, we're 25, and we're on our honeymoon, woo!"

She holds left hand up to flash her ring at the camera like it's a habit. The audience cheers loudly for them.

"I'm Megan, he's Sam, we're juniors at Cornell on spring break, and we wanna win some cool shit!"

The audience cheers enthusiastically for them as well.

"And Emma's friends," Marc says. "You are?"

"I'm Britt, he's Danny!'

"And what do you guys do for work?

"I work in a hospital, but we're fitness vloggers in our spare time! Please check out "

She pauses to hold back a burp from the three mai tais she had before coming here. "Check out our YouTube channel, we're at Windy City Workouts, wooo!"

The other contestants roll their eyes, as if to say, great. Another one of these people.

With no emotion whatsoever, Marc responds. "That's terrific guys, just terrific.

"So let's introduce the game. It's actually three games. In each game, there's first, second and third place, and you'll earn or lose points depending on how you do. And as a bonus, the winners of each round get to celebrate at the expense of the team that comes in last, more about that in a moment.

"But the most important thing is, the winners are the team with the most points at the end of all three games, okay?"

Both teams nod to show their understanding.

"And if you win Robin, can you show them what they'll get?"

The audience shouts wildly at the sound of two honks as Robin slowly drives out in a brand-new Ford Escape SUV. Marc really wasn't kidding when he said the prizes would be bigger!

"That's right, the winning couple gets to take home this brand new car, courtesy of our friends at Ford! Now the second place team doesn't go home empty-handed either. Robin, what do they get?"

Robin does her best Vanna White as she steps out of the car and gestures at a set of steak knives. The audience applauds politely, though in reality everyone is very confused.

Marc says, "Okay evidently our writers were watching Glengarry Glen Ross this week. I guess that means our third place team probably has something bad coming their way, right Robin?"

Robin has her own microphone, and she takes over. "That's right, Marc. You don't work for us, so we can't fire you if you come in last. But you will have to play one last game, and if you lose THAT, then we've prepared the messiest punishment in What Would You Do history for you!"

Everyone's suspicions were right. While one team will win the biggest prize of their lives, another team will win a prize of their own: a permanent spot on the Wall of Shame.

The crowd cheers heartily. They know what's at stake. Stagehands begin setting up the first game, giving Marc the chance to explain the rules.

"The first game is a Balance Beam Challenge. We've set up this 50-foot balance beam for you to cross, but it isn't like any you've ever seen before. It has several parts to it."

Marc points out the features of the wooden structure. "There's a flat section, a steep incline, a steep decline, and then you have a choice: either a straightaway where the beam is just 3 inches wide, or a winding section that's much wider, but that'll take you longer to complete. After that, it's one last straightaway to the finish. Once you reach the finish, your teammate will cross the beam themselves. But if you fall at any point, you have to go back to the beginning and start all over.

"The team with the lowest combined time wins the game and 5 points. Second place gets 3 points, and third place gets 1 point. But this is What Would You Do! Just giving out points is pretty lame.

"Members of the second place team will have to take off one item of clothing."

The cameras zoom immediately to the contestants, whose eyes grow wide in surprise.

"And if you come in third, you'll each lose TWO items of clothing!"

A huge round of applause rises up. There is clearly much more than a new car at stake today.

"Oh, and if you come in third, we have one other thing for you. Robin, will you please?"

Robin emerges holding two heaping cream pies. Whipped cream covers cherry pie filling, which sits atop a graham cracker crust in an aluminum tin. The audience cheers in excitement.

"That's right, the winning team will get to smash these pies in the losers' faces!"

The teams look at each other in disbelief, as if the possibility of getting messy was something for other people today, not them. Britt the athlete cups her hand over her mouth in fear, both for herself and her expensive, pristine outfit.

"Taylor and Eric, you'll start us off. Taylor, let's get you into position."

She climbs a few short steps up to the beginning of the raised beam. Marc reprises his role as gameshow host one more time.

"On your mark! Get set! Gooooo!"

Off Taylor goes to a wave of cheers, quickly traversing the flat straightaway. She attempts to climb the 40-degree inclined portion, but it proves difficult. After wasting precious seconds on a tentative step or two, she finds a better plan: she braces herself on the beam with her hands and shuffles her way up. Now facing the decline, she quickly rises to standing, but can't keep her balance and yelps as she falls six feet to the soft mat below.

Frustrated, she sprints back to the start, climbs the stairs and begins again. She finishes the straightaway in short order, drops to her hands and again scales the incline. This time she stands successfully and descends the other side. Faced with the choice of the risky narrow straightaway or the wider winding road, she chooses the latter, and though it takes more time, she crosses it easily. Her arms out wide for balance, she tiptoes the final straight to the finish, and Eric takes his turn.

Eric chops his feet up to the top step and seemingly dances his way across the straight with ease. His Chucks are almost perfect for the incline, which he climbs without issue, though he takes his time on the descent. He seems to choose the narrow straight, but after just a single step, perhaps he feels just how narrow the width is, and thinks better of it. He takes the winding path, reaches the straightaway, and tiptoes across to finish on his first try.

"Time!" Marc says. He glances at the timer just below the camera. "Nice recovery, Eric! You and Taylor finish with a time of 1 minute, 34 seconds. Megan and Sam, you're up!"

"On your mark! Get set! Gooooo!"

The audience applauds as Megan climbs the steps and begins her run. With all eyes and cameras on her, Megan quickly gets nervous, especially knowing what awaits if her team loses. She crosses the straightaway slowly, then drops to her hands to scale the incline. But Megan is wearing flip-flops, and doesn't recognize their instability until it's too late. The toes of her left sandal catch the beam, causing her to lose her balance. She too shrieks as she tumbles onto the mat.

Megan kicks her flip-flops off in frustration, runs barefoot to the start line, and begins again. She climbs the steps, crosses the straight, drops to her hands on the incline and scales it successfully. Slowly she skids down the back side, and decides to take a chance on the narrow straight. She makes it just three paces before her right foot gives way, sending her falling to the mat a second time.

She hears Marc narrating her misfortune, the crowd still cheering as she sprints all the way back to the start. The straight, the incline, the decline, she conquers them all. Not willing to risk falling again, Megan resigns herself to the long way around, and tiptoes her way to the finish, finally allowing Sam to start.

Knowing he has to make up time, he leaps to the top step in one bound and attempts to cross the straightaway quickly. But his leap gives him too much forward momentum, so his left foot slips after just two steps, sending him down 3 feet to the mat.

"Fuck!" he's heard saying as he runs back to the start. He goes slower this time. His boat shoes give him solid footing on the uphill and downhill, and he too tries the narrow straight over the meandering path. Unlike his girlfriend, Sam's balance is solid, and he successfully navigates the toughest part of the course. The final straight is a breeze by comparison, so he accelerates and hits the finish, though they quickly look at Marc with tremendous anxiety as they await their time.

"Time! Megan and Eric, your time was 1 minute, 48 seconds. So you trail Taylor and Eric with one team left to go!"

"Britt, you're up first! You have to beat 1:34 to win the game, and 1:48 to avoid last place. Let's see what you can do!

"On your mark! Get set! Gooooo!"

Despite their tipsiness, as athletes, Britt and Danny still retained a natural advantage, buttressed even further by their closed-toe sneakers. Britt easily crosses the first straight, drops to her hands to scale the incline, and gingerly descends the back side. She disregards the high-risk straightaway entirely, opting for the winding road, which she crosses slowly but easily, and she tiptoes down the final straightaway for a clean finish.

Danny knows Britt has bought him the rest of the day to finish his part, so he takes his sweet time. He finishes the first straight easily, drops to his hands to climb the incline, and majestically hops from the apex to the small platform between the decline and the fork. The crowd recognizes his skill and erupts in cheers. If he was looking, he would see Megan with her hands once again covering her face, recognizing it would take a miracle to avoid getting pied.

Danny chooses the safe path, and takes his time crossing the final stretch to complete a perfect round.

"Time! Danny and Britt, that was amazing! You probably already know this, but you've won the game with a time of 1 minute, 19 seconds, congratulations!"

They hug each other tight. Robin makes her way over to them with the two pies.

Marc goes over the results. "So that's 5 points to Britt and Danny, 3 points to Taylor and Eric, and 1 point to Megan and Sam."

"Megan and Sam, Britt and Danny," he commands, "Please step forward."

Britt and Danny are beaming, while Megan and Sam are balls of anxiety. As has always been the case in these situations, Marc twists the knife on them.

"Megan, anything you'd like to say before this happens?"

She can barely speak over her nervous giggles. "Oh god, I've never been pied before!"

"Well Megan, Sam you may go to Cornell, but that Ivy League education did nothing for you in our physical challenge, and now you have to pay the price. Britt and Danny, on the count of three, let 'em have it!"

ONE! TWO! THREE!

Britt clobbers Megan, sending whipped cream and cherries flying in all directions. Megan yelps, her hands fly up in a belated effort to block the pie, but her face takes the full force of the hit, her hair flying backward and catching cream, pie filling, and crust. She staggers, colliding into Sam, who got hit just as hard. He was more gracious in accepting his fate, though his sunglasses flew off his head on impact. Danny chose to grind the pie into his face, which caused Sam to grab Danny's wrist and shove it away to make him stop.

Marc jumps in. "We also have some disrobing to do! Taylor and Eric, your second place finish is gonna cost you one item of clothing. And our messy Megan and Sam, we need two from you. So let's see it!"

Taylor and Eric shrug their shoulders and kick off their shoes. Megan and Sam do the same, but a little more reluctantly, as Sam follows this up by removing his pie-stained t-shirt, and Megan grabs the waistband of her running shorts and slowly pulls them down, revealing her big butt inside her white and blue polka dot panties. The audience cheers throughout. The game may not be explicit yet, but neither team is in any position to make more blunders.

Out of the corner of his eye, Marc spots Danny staring right at Megan's ass. Marc instinctively looks at his bulge, which is noticeably bigger at the moment. He files this away for later.

"Well that was an eventful Round 1!" Marc says. "It only gets better with Round 2, so stay where you are, we'll be right back!"

Applause rings out again as the show goes to break. TV shows a replay of Megan and Sam getting pied in slow motion, Megan stumbling awkwardly into her boyfriend, Eric's aviators flying off his head. A What Would You Do logo bounces around the screen and settles in the corner.

During the break, Megan continues to freak out. She yells for a towel, but Marc, gregarious mode turned off and surly sarcastic mode turned on, just laughs mockingly and says in very colorful language that no towel is forthcoming, she'll just have to deal with it. A dejected Megan claws at the pie on her face, flicking it to the ground and on her white sorority t-shirt.

Stagehands deconstruct the balance beam and set up the next game, bringing out five low rise bar stools and a very large rolling thing on wheels with a sheet covering it. Megan is still recovering when a stage director counts Marc back in from break. Applause.




SCENE 3: MUSICAL CAKES
"Welcome back to the season premiere of What Would You Do! Today, we have three teams fighting not just for a brand new car, but to avoid coming in last and facing our messiest penalty ever.

"As you can see, Megan and Sam weren't so fortunate in Game 1. But they aren't that far behind on points, and it's time for Game 2, a very simple game of musical chairs!

"In this game, we have five bar stools set up. Our players are going to circle the stools, and when the music stops, they all have to find a seat. But because this is What Would You Do, we have to add a twist. Robin, will you show them?"

Like a magician whipping a tablecloth off a full dining table, Robin whisks the sheet off the cart, revealing rows and rows of sheet cakes.

"Instead of musical chairs, this game is called Musical Cakes!

"Our thanks to the Florida Bake Works for these gorgeous looking desserts, it's a shame they'll end up flattened by all of your big butts!

A camera pans behind all six contestants, putting each of their bums up close on screen. They all look so taut and so clean, from Megan's panties to Eric's board shorts. Not for long.

"In each round, cakes will be placed on all of the seats. When the music stops, our contestants will take a seat right on top of them. But be careful, they're slippery! If you slide off, that might give someone else a chance to steal your spot!

"But there's no pushing or shoving. If we catch you clearing someone off a seat that's already taken, guess what? You're out!

"The last team standing wins 10 points. The team that comes in second wins 5. And the first team to get completely eliminated gets 3 points.

"As with the last round, if you come in second, you're gonna take off an item of clothing. And last place loses two items of clothing, which could mean trouble for you, Sam, standing here in just shorts and maybe some underwear."

The audience applauds at the possibility of seeing nudity in short order.

"Oh, and one more thing. Megan: you clearly ENJOYED getting that pie thrown in your face you see all these cakes. What else do you suppose happens if you come in last?"

Megan responds in a manner that's half shy, half defeated. "We get caked?"

Mark meets her shyness with aggression, wagging his finger at her "That's exactly right Megan, the losers get cakes thrown in their faces, courtesy of the winners, okay?

"So let's put you all in a circle and Robin, cue the music. On your mark, get set, gooooo!"

A rhythmic dance beat pumps through the studio speakers. The contestants circle the cake-topped seats slowly, one eye on each other, one eye on the stools and the absurdity about to ensue. The music seems to go on forever until

It cuts. A wild scramble follows. Taylor, Megan, Danny, and Eric all sink their asses into luscious vanilla cakes, the "What Would You Do" lettering in red icing disappearing under their shapely butts. The crowd ohhhhhs sarcastically, and the women shriek from the weird feeling, especially Megan, who just lost her shorts and whose thin panties offered little protection from the cake her ass just crushed. She feels the frosting coat the backs of her legs and seep up her inner thighs, which feels slightly erotic.

Speaking of which, Danny feels the cake penetrate his thin yoga pants. He lets out an orgasmic "hmmmm" in response, his mouth pursed shut in disbelief.

But in the midst of this weirdness, one cake still remained. Britt was one seat away, and Sam on the other side of the circle. Britt hesitated, not wanting to get her favorite pair of leggings messy. The baby blue color was her favorite, who knows what this sticky, sugary thing could do to it? Her hesitation gave Sam enough time to close the gap, but not enough time to grab the seat. Britt sank herself into the cake after all, causing her to groan as her butt slid around, driving frosting deeper into the fabric. With her skimpy underwear underneath, she swore she could feel sticky frosting touching her bare ass.

"Sam, I'm sorry, you're out!" Marc exclaims. "Contestants, you may stand."

The cameras get to work, zooming in on all of the contestants' messy asses. The cameras hang on Megan in her messy underwear and Britt in her smothered yoga pants. Frosting has found its way either onto everyone's butts or onto the floor, leaving only the slabs of cardboard where the cakes once sat. Stagehands remove a stool and quickly replace the flattened cakes.

"Round 2! Robin, hit the music!"

The game restarts again and the contestants begin circling once more. The round is short, and the music cuts before they have a chance to even think. Megan, Taylor and Danny slam their asses down on lemon-flavored cakes, each letting out more yelps as they crush multicolored icing balloons and the fluffy stuff below them. Taylor's pink bikini bottom slides around on the seat. She guesses it's stained to hell with frosting and the food coloring of two cakes' decorations. She really regrets not wearing jeans today.

Danny feels the same way. More cake gets driven into his leggings, and this time, he feels it penetrating his underwear and coating his bare ass.

Britt once again fights for the last spot, this time against Eric. Again, she finds herself closer to the open seat, but this time, doesn't think twice and drops her frosting-covered ass right onto it, sending chunks flying off the stool and onto the floor.

Queening this cake so enthusiastically caused her to slide off the seat at the exact moment Eric tried to sit himself. Did she slide off? Did he push her? Either way, Britt was on the ground and Eric had his hands in the air as the last person on to the next round.

"Now wait a minute!" Mark shouted. "Wait a minute! I don't think Eric was there!"

"Audience, did he push her off? By round of applause, do we think Eric got the seat?"

Tepid applause followed.

"Do we think Britt got the seat?"

Rapturous applause.

"The jury has spoken! Eric, you're out!"

Eric throws his hands up and walks off as the remaining contestants stand up and survey the damage to their bottoms. A slick spot is on the ground where Britt hit the floor, and she appears to have gotten the worst of it, with her leggings (and Danny's) looking especially smothered compared to the others' bathing suits. Britt tries to grab wads of cake from her butt to throw to the ground, but all that really does is smear frosting around. The stagehands remove another chair and bring in three new cakes.

"Round 3! Robin, hit the music!"

It's an uneventful round, which culminates with more groans from Taylor and Megan as they crush cakes decorated with giant targets made of blue icing. Taylor's bikini bottom gets smashed yet again, and Megan's white panties get another new color.

That leaves teammates Britt and Danny fighting for one spot. Reflexively thinking like a gentleman, Danny walks away. Britt gingerly plops her butt onto the open cake, gasping again at the sticky sensation. The icing has obviously penetrated her thin pants and her thin underwear and reached her bare skin.

"Sorry Danny, you're done! That means we're heads-up, one team is about to be eliminated in this next round, and we're down to all the women!

"Taylor! Megan! Britt! Who's getting caked in the face to match the cakes on their asses? Robin, fire it up!"

They'll be damned if they go down without a fight. The music seems to play forever, each woman slowing as she nears a chair, hoping the music stops in just the perfect spot.

All of their behinds are soaked. Britt's mind wanders about whether any of this will come out, or if she'll need to--

The music stops. Britt snaps back to attention, but it's too late, Megan and Taylor have each slammed their butts into plump double chocolate cakes, the brown frosting adding an interesting layer to the stains already on their butts. Britt gives Taylor a desperate shove, but Taylor is resolute and does not budge.

Marc triumphantly announces the losers. "Oh no! Britt and Danny are out, they come in last!"

The audience raves. Britt drops into a squat, knowing all the cake sitting, all the icing, the frosting, the dough shoved deep inside her favorite pants was for nothing. Danny comes over to console her, even knowing he's about to get caked himself.

Taylor and Megan stand up. The cake remains stuck to Taylor's bikini, which leads to hilarity as she takes a couple of steps before realizing it. Finally, she slaps the excess to the floor.

Meanwhile, Megan's panties have finally given in. They retreat up her ass, revealing a massive wedgie and displaying the contours of her meaty butt cheeks which a cameraman is very pleased to zoom in on. Her thighs stick together with all the mess wedged in between them. She tries to scoop some of it out, but all it does is spread the buttery goodness around.

"Megan, Taylor this is for the game! The winner gets 10 points, the loser gets 5 but has to lose some clothes. Hit it, Robin!"

Their hearts beat out of their chests knowing what's on the line. With no back on the stool, each woman has an equal shot at "taking the cake".

Before they know it, the music cuts, and the diminutive Megan has no chance. She tries to grab the stool, but Taylor was there first, bodying her out of the way and giving her own ass one last taste of glorious buttercream. She thinks she lands square on the cake, but in reality she nips the front edge of it and the stool, sending the stool skidding backward and the cake flying.

Taylor lands hard on her behind on the studio floor. She can't help but crack up.

"That's it!" Marc yells. It wasn't graceful, but Taylor is our winner! Congratulations Taylor and Eric, that's first place for you and 10 points!"

The crowd applauds the contestants for a hard fought game. They stand with their camera phones out when Taylor and Eric accept two massive sheet cakes like trophies.

Marc gets to the bottom of their enthusiasm. "Taylor, anything you wanna say to these two?"

"Oh, I can't wait to cake this bitch!!"

Britt's shoulders drop. She knows that along with her sticky ass and ruined yoga pants, her face and her top are about to get the same treatment.

"Well guys," Marc says, "With your lifestyle, you may not eat much dessert, but no one said you can't wear it! Taylor and Eric, on the count of three, cake these bitches!!"

Britt and Danny grab each other's hands for the tiniest bit of comfort. Cell phones pop up from the audience to capture the moment.

ONE! TWO! THREE!

Taylor launches her cake at Britt, and Eric chucks his at Danny. The house lights flicker rhythmically while Steve Aoki's "Cake Face" blasts through the speakers. "CAKE FACE!!" The EDM beat drops right as two red velvet cakes slam into the influencers' scrunched up faces. Even over the music we can hear the crowd OHHHHHing in pity. Icing, buttercream, dough and red and white stuff explode all over their bodies, instantly ruining Danny's tight gray shirt and Britt's baby blue tank top.

"Oh my godddd!" Britt moans.

Chunks of cake soar into the audience, making unsuspecting bystanders scramble out of the way. More chunks slide down the victims' faces, leaving long trails of color on their way to the floor. As the muck falls, it leaves behind a look of utter shock on Britt and Danny's faces, both of their mouths giving their best 'O' faces to the camera. Danny sneaks a taste of his and honestly? He doesn't hate it. A huge gob sits atop Britt's ruined hair, which is covered with tiny specks, little hangers-on that will probably only come off if she's ever able to get to a shower.

Steve Aoki's beat keeps playing as Marc ensures they fully pay off their loss. "Now let's see you striiiipppp!!!" he yells.

Both runners toss their socks and sneakers. Danny struggles to take off his fitted shirt, trying hard to get it over his caked face. He finally gets it off, revealing his toned abs and well-defined pecs. Britt also removes her shirt, revealing her mostly clean beige-colored sports bra.

All this action gave Megan and Sam cover. With the cameras firmly trained on Britt and Danny, they discreetly removed a third item of clothing. Off came Sam's sweat shorts and Megan's Kappa Delta tank top, revealing Sam's dark gray trunks and Megan's canary yellow bralette.

The lights finally come up and the music dies down, revealing three teams in various states of undress. Newlyweds Taylor and Eric are in the best shape, having only sat on cakes and removed their shoes. Pie remnants are still smeared all over Megan and Sam, who are both standing in their underwear. But Britt and Danny look the worst, with fresh cakes all over their faces and all over their butts, both of them shirtless.

"So that's the end of Round 2, with newlyweds Taylor and Eric in 1st place with 13 points, our volunteers Britt and Danny in 2nd with 8, and spring breakers Megan and Sam close behind with 6. We'll take a break and come back with the heart-stopping finale! Stay where you are!"

The monitors display another slo-mo shot, this time of Taylor and Eric scoring direct hits on Britt and Danny's faces. The slo-mo continues until their mouths form those 'O' faces, and dual What Would You Do logos bounce around and settle right on their chests.

During the break, Marc breaks character and high-fives Taylor and Eric. He compliments them on their throwing arms and their accuracy, saying that those hits were vicious, just the way we like them.

Danny looks over at the group. He's fuming, but he also appears to be aroused again. With Megan in just a bra and panties, Danny has a new thing to stare at. Once again, he's developed an erection that shows through his yoga pants. It's so obvious.

The two athletes continue to scratch and claw at their faces, but the buttery frosting simply will not go away. They know from the last round that no towels are forthcoming, so the best they can do is clear their eyes, noses, and mouths and just get on with it.

A few minutes pass, and the director counts Marc back in. The intensity of the applause rises again and Marc welcomes viewers back from break.

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The story continues in Part 2: https://umd.net/stories/the-wall-of-shame-part-2-a-what-would-yo