I received an email, via a kink-community website, that read,

"Hi. I read through your profile and I found it, and the kink as you describe it, intriguing. In fact, I have some questions for you, if you're interested in hearing them.

I also read a couple of your stories. Interesting. They seem to be written for a very specific audience.

I'd like to meet for coffee and ask you some questions, if that's alright.

best regards,
CuriousAtLaw"

To which I responded,

"Hi CuriousAtLaw,
I'd be delighted. Ask away. How's Wednesday at 2 or Thursday between 1 and 3, at Ironclad Coffee over on 1st?"
I'll wait for you at a table in the far left corner.

best,
PW"

We agreed to a time, and I arrived early. Wanting to make a good impression, I was in jeans, a good black shirt, bespoke, and a dark grey blazer, also bespoke. Somewhere between jazz-musician and evening-cool. I grabbed a quite table in the back, and waited.

A short woman arrived ten minutes later, and introduced herself to me. "Piewriter?", she extended a hand. I stood up and shook her hand, "Call me J", I said. She replied, "Ok, J. I'm Eve, thanks for meeting me. It's nice to meet you!"

We sat down, across from each other, and both ordered once the wait staff appeared. I asked for a double americano, she asked for a double latte. Class all around!

She had ash-blonde hair in a professional cut to her shoulders, with some tucked behind her right ear, and large blue-grey eyes. She was wearing jeans, a white shirt and a blue jacket, and seemed to be in her mid 30s or so. I said, "It's nice to meet you as well. Thanks for reaching out to me."

"My pleasure", she said. "I like your watch", she reached over and tapped my silver and black watch.

"Thank you", I said, "It's one of my favorites. Rock and roll without being over the top".

She nodded, "Yeah, I see that. You look very nice, J, honestly not what I was expecting."

I said, "Thank you. You do too, I noticed your style right away!" She responded, "Thank you!"

I asked, "So what were you expecting?"

She took a sip of her latte, "Oh I'm not sure, really, but I wasn't expecting handsome. Or stylish. Maybe more hemp, beard, and man-bun." She spoke with a mild Texas accent. No so much as to be cartooney but enough for me to catch it.

"Thank you.", I said, "And yes, the website seems to have a lot of that type, doesn't it?"

"It sure does", she said. "So! Lets get off the ground! Your profile gave me enough stuff about how you got into this all, but, have you ever done it? Hit someone with a pie?"

I nodded, "I have! Have you?"

She snorted a laugh and looked away, "Oh god no!". Looking back at me, she asked, "Well I know you've been hit with a pie, I saw that on your profile. Your picture I mean."

I nodded, "Yep."

She leaned in, over her coffee, "How'd that happen? Was it a surprise, or did you know that the pie was coming?"

"Oh, I knew it was coming. We were role-playing a classic skit, and she couldn't wait to just let me have it with an enormous banana cream pie.", I replied.

Eve put her hand over her mouth and laughed. "Oh my god! Well she sure did!"

"I'm glad you're laughing!", I said.

She asked, "So do you have a preference? For giving the pie or for getting pied?"

I said, "No preference, really, I do love both. The kink is really the both of us pied, covered in whipped cream and just looking ridiculous and having fun. It's like, pie in the face as a language of love and lust, and affection."

She nodded, "Oh, wow, ok. How fascinating, I like that, a language of love. Yeah, yeah, I can also see how that would be fun and, hmm. Sensual maybe."

I nodded, "Very. So what about you? Ever been pied, or pied someone else? And what's your preference?"

She looked away, and bit her lip before responding, "Hmm, I don't know if I would have a preference, but I'm guessing I'd rather get pied in the face than pie someone in the face. No, I've never been pied, or pied anyone. I've seen it happen. I find it fascinating, really. And intriguing. But I can definitely see how sexy that could be in an intimate setting."

We chatted for a while longer about what we did for work, for fun, about various books and movies and music. All in all, we had a great time talking and three hours flew by before it occurred to either of us to check our watches.

Eve said, "Oh fuck a duck, I have a call in ten minutes! Hey J," she stood up and grabbed her bag, "this was great! It was so great to talk to you. Thanks for answering my absurd questions!", she stuck out her hand.

I shook her hand, and she leaned in for a professional and platonic "hug". I said, "Likewise! great to meet you, and thanks for the fantastic conversation! Lets continue this soon."

"Yeah, yeah", she said, "Lets do. I really gotta go, though, talk to you later?"

"Yep", I said. "Good luck on your call!"

She started to tap on her phone as she walked out of the place, "Thanks!"

I finished my third americano, paid the check and walked home.

A couple of hours later, she texted me, "Hey I had a great time. Most excellent conversation. I'm free Friday after work, maybe 4 or later. Say 7 at Loire Wine Bar? Superb food no disappoint" I texted back, "See you there, love that place." A few minutes later, She texted back to me, "Great, looking fwd to it. Love the desserts there too and they have chocolate nipples with espresso" I laughed and responded, "I don't know them that well but I take your word for it !"

She immediately texted, "nickles! NICKLES. Wrapped in gold foil. not nipples. excuse me while I go jump out a window now" I texted back, "No worries, I get it. Damn you autocarrot. Looking forward to wine and chocolate nipples".

A few minutes later she texted, "ha ha. I bet you are pie-boy. See you then. nickles. NICKLES."


*


I arrived at the Loire Wine Bar, and Eve waved to me from across the room. She was standing at the bar, a glass of wine in hand and another glass of wine waiting on the bar. She looked absolutely gorgeous in a tight blue dress and black shoes. A modern design silver pendant around her neck and two small, modern studs, one in each ear. She was slightly buxom for someone so short (I'm short, and she was shorter than me), and when she moved she'd jiggle ever so slightly. Oh, no, that's not going to be distracting, no at all. I was determined to do my best to be an adult despite finding her very attractive.

I didn't need to worry. Whatever personal connection we'd started at the coffee place picked right up again. "Hey Eve. You. Look. Stunning!", I said and leaned in for a polite kiss on the cheek. She embraced me tightly at the shoulders. She said, "Thank you! You look sharp, J. I love your jacket. And you went all sexy tonight I see", she brushed her fingertips against my chest, where my black shirt was unbuttoned. It was only the first button under the collar that was undone.

"Thanks", I said. I was wearing my best black jacket, black shirt and dark blue jeans with my best boots.

She removed her hand and placed it on my arm, "You do look handsome. And," she lowered her voice in volume, "you smell nice!" Removing her hand from my arm, she reached over and handed a glass of wine to me. She said, "I hope you don't mind but I ordered a glass of wine for you. Guess what it is?"

I sipped the wine from the wide glass, "Hm. Pinot Noir. Maybe from central coast? Or Washington? Not sure, but I'd bet it's a PInot Noir."

She asked, "Would you bet a banana cream pie in the face?"

I said, "Absolutely!"

"Well, you win, it's a Pinot! From Oregon. I'm impressed. You know your wine.", she said.

"It helps that this is a pinot glass", I said referring to the wide-bottomed shape of the wine glass.

"Ahhhh, yeah, I guess that helped. But still, don't be modest. I'm still impressed.", she said.

"Back at you, Eve, I love this wine!", we cheer'sed and clinked glasses, looking each other in the eyes as we did. We sipped our wine, our eyes still locked.

She smiled and said, "It's my favorite on the menu here. I'm glad you like it."

"Love it", I said honestly. It was excellent. She said, "Ok, I have a corner booth reserved where we can talk. Shall we?"

I gestured, "After you".

We took our seats in the rounded corner-booth, and read the menu when it was delivered to us. We agreed on each and every appetizer, which we'd share, and on a bottle of the pinot we were already enjoying.

I asked her how her work was, about which she couldn't discuss much. "Attorney stuff, most of it pretty boring but it has to be done. Writing up summaries and statement documents. How about you?" I replied, "Researching some tech for a client. Fascinating, but after a few hours of that I was ready for a break." She asked me what I was researching, and I told her as best as I could without going into the weeds.

She nodded, and said, "I understood almost none of that. I'm not terribly technical, but I can say that it sounds quite impressive. I'm not sure I have the brains for it"

I said, "Law school takes a lot of brains, just a different focus than tech, I think. I don't have the brains for Law."

She poked me in the arm, "That's exactly what I meant." We finished the glass of wine just as the wait staff opened the new bottle and poured us each a glass, and some of our appetizers arrived.

She dug in, and I joined her. "The food is so good here. Thanks for sharing everything with me", she said. I replied, "Same to you. This is what I prefer, just ordering and sharing everything." She nudged me with her elbow, "Me too. Samesame." I split the last deviled egg and we each had half.

She said, "We should just keep going with appetizers and in a while share a dessert." I said, "Definitely. See if they have chocolate nipples today with the espresso."

She shot me a look that should come with a weapons permit, "If I never hear 'chocolate nipples' again in my life it will be too soon.". I said, "Yeah, loud and clear. Besides, whipped-cream nipples are much more interesting!" She smiled, and nodded, and laughed as she was chewing. "Agreed, there you go!"

Our conversation continued easily. As I refilled her glass with wine, and then mine, she said, "Ok, down to floor-tacks here. Boob or butt man?"

I thought for a moment, "Both. Love both."

"Oh ok,", she said, "So were you boring holes in my ass as you were walking behind me earlier?"

I laughed, "No, no! I was polite. But I did notice your ass's round, yet petite, shape, and appreciated it as such before sitting."

"Oh, good recovery! Not half bad, J!", she said.

I asked, "How about you? Chest, butt, arms?" She replied, "All of the above. You pass the ass review, though, you have a nice butt."

"Thanks", I said.

She leaned in and squinted at me, "Hmm, and your eyes are nice. I love the color." I replied, "Oh, same to you." We gazed into each other's eyes until she crossed hers, and smiled.

"Nice!", I laughed. "They didn't teach you that in law school!"

She laughed, "Nope!"

I said, "Ok, So, butt, chest, arms girl, you're all of the above then."

She nodded, and sipped wine as I sipped mine. "Penis."

I said, "What'd you just call me?"

"Ha-ha! No.", she leaned in and lowered her voice, "Cock, I adore men, in general, but I love cock". She kissed me on the cheek and then leaned back to normal seating.

I asked, "I wonder if it's like my loving clit. Can't keep my hands off it." She nodded, "Hm, good to know! I'll have to follow up on that. But I'm not sure it's the same thing."

I asked, "So you like your men naked."

She nodded, "Yes, definitely. Why, you volunteering?"

I leaned in to speak quietly in her ear, and she said, "If you lick my ear I'm gonna punch you."

I smiled, and said, "No licking ears, got it. Wasn't gonna."

She said, "If you need something to lick I can give you guidance later."

I said, "Same, if you need guidance."

She looked at me and said, "Handsome, I have an oral thing going on, I don't think I'll need a map."

I said,"Well, I was going to say, quietly, that lucky for you I have no problem being naked. Nude. Completely without clothes."

She said, "Well, that is what naked means after all. But, you know, you're gonna have to walk that talk if you want me to believe you."

I said, "Oh, no problem, especially because you'll be as naked as I would be."

She said, "Well, of course, I would expect no less!"

We looked at each other, and leaned in slowly. She said "Aw.. helll" and kissed me. I kissed her back.

Eve was a great kisser. Our lips met, and met again, each contact longer and more passionate, until our tongues were playing tag. She finally pulled back and drank some wine. I drank some as well.

"Eve, you are an amazing kisser. Holy", I said

She nodded, "..fuck. So are you, J. That was nice."

I said, "You do that again like that and your definitely going to have a naked man to call your own."

She said, "You do that again and wild wolves couldn't keep my clothes on."

I poured more wine into her glass, and into mine.

She said, "Thanks. So you know what's weird, my last two boyfriends hated being naked. They even slept in sweats."

I replied, "Yuck, who does that?" She replied, "I know! I bet you sleep naked."

I said ,"I do. I bet you do to." She nodded, "Every night."

I said, "I bet they didn't like sharing showers either." She smacked me on the arm and said, "They didn't! Don't tell me, you're a shower freak as well. "

I nodded, "I am, I am. Glad to meet another shower freak."

She said "Oh, I'm glad too, trust me. Ok, favorite position?"

"Baseball, or sex?" I asked.

"Baseball of course, ya goofball. Ess, Eee, Eks come on now." she smirked.

I said,"I like where this conversation is going. Mine? Woman on top. Whatever it's called, cowgirl or something? I get to look at you, take you in with my eyes, play with your clit and get the daylights fucked out of me all at the same time."

She choked as she was swallowing wine, and recovered. "Shit that's one of the hottest things I think I've ever heard. Well. Um! I'm not sure I've ever done it! Usually it's missionary boring by the way or I'm on hands and knees, or on my belly, or bent over."

I asked, "What's your favorite?"

She squinted, "Well now that you mention cowgirl-whatsits, I'm not so sure now, but up to now, all fours or bend me over." She leaned in and whispered in my ear, "If we ever climb in the shower together, just lettin' you know that I expect to be bent over and fucked. Just so you know". She sat back, and looked at me.

Before I could reply, she leaned in again and whispered, "Fucked, and fucked, and fucked hard. You get me?" and she licked my ear.

I laughed, "Hey! You licked my ear!" Eve laughed and said, "Hey I never said I couldn't lick your ear! I just don't want mine licked. Hate it! If you feel the need to lick something, I'll give you the right directions. Though I don't think you'll need them. We've been over this."

I took her cheek in my hand, and guided her face toward mine and planted a deep, passionate kiss on her lips. She closed her eyes.

Afterwards, I said, "Ok, my turn. What do you fantasize about when you masturbate?"

She recovered from the kiss, and replied, "Who says I masturbate?"

I gave her a look.

"Ok ok, Yes, I do. Probably too often. Sometimes it feels like not often enough? Anyway, what do I fantasize about. Hm, you know what, there's something I should say, just so you know."

I nodded, "OK, go for it."

She shifted in her seat to face me a bit more. "Serious now. I love sex. It's very important to me. I want sex every day. My last few relationships got stale a little too soon. And I think they should never get stale. But I want you to know that it's a big deal to me. Ok?"

I nodded, "OK, and likewise. And as long as you're willing to instigate at least 50% of the time, I think it'll work out. And I can come up with all sorts of idea to keep from getting stale."

"Oh, I think, more than 50%, I'm not shy behind closed doors.", she said.

I said "OK, so back to the question then. You, vibrating toy, and your fantasy? What is it, if you're willing to share."

She shifted back, and poured more wine for both of us, emptying the bottle. "Uh, I'm not.. you know.. it" she waffled.

She shifted back in her seat in the booth, toward me. She placed her hand on my knee, and scooched closer to me. "So, actually, I have a question. It's embarrassing I guess.. but.. what the hell I'm gonna ask. Or just tell you."

I looked into her eyes, and then at her cheeks, and her lips. Then her bare shoulders, and bare arms. My gaze went to her cleavage, and her mildly-shifting breasts. I noticed the edge of her bra and that it ended just at the point her nipples started. I looked at her hand on my knee, strong and defined. I looked back into her eyes.

She hesitated. After a couple of false starts, she said, "I want to get pied."

I nodded, looking into her blue-grey eyes. She continued, "I want to get hit with a pie. A banana cream pie, or a coconut cream pie, right in my face."

I smiled, and nodded, "Very sexy!"

She said, "Is that weird? It sounds weird. Am I weird"

I asked, "Hit with a pie?"

She nodded, and placed her hand on my face and slid it down. "Hit with a pie."

I said, "You, stark naked, and I let you have it with a great big banana cream pie in the face?"

She closed her eyes and shuddered, and opened them again, "Yes!"

I asked, "And this would turn you on?"

She nodded "Heck yes! It's already turning me on and we're only just talking about it."

I shook my head, "Not weird at all. And you know I love it, I mean, I share this kink."

She said, "I really want this, J. I want to take a pie in the face. I really want to get hit with a pie. It's so embarrassing, but I do have this kink. Just the thought of it turns me on so much, it's crazy."

"Mm hmm. Same. I'd love to hit you with a pie. Several in fact."

She said, "You would? Really? Me?"

I said, "Oh god, yes, you. You would be insanely sexy naked and pied."

She laughed, "I would be wouldn't I! Ooh, I got the shivers just now."

I said, "I want to pie you so much! Eve, seriously, you are going to get pied."

She shuddered again, and kissed me on the lips.

I continued, "And I want you to pie me. I wanna get a pie in the face. You, me, naked. Pied."

She kissed me again, her hand on my cheek, "Oh, I will pie you J. I will pie the hell out of you."

I kissed her back, "Lets pie the fuck out of each other and then fuck the pie out of each other."

She inhaled, "That was corny, and hot, all at the same time", she said. and then she kissed me so hard that she pushed me back against the booth for a moment.

We recovered, and wiped our mouths. We were sitting right next to each other, leg against leg. She looked down, noticed something about my jeans, and then looked back up again.

Smirking, she whispered in my ear, "Did that make you hard? Are you hard right now?"

I whispered back, "Oh, yes. Aren't you wet right now?"

She shifted her hand to my crotch, and felt around for a moment. "Oh, my!", she said, theatrically. She replied to me, "Yes, more than a little."

I whispered, "If we keep this up, I may end up begging you to fuck me."

She looked at me and said, "I'd like that, I'd like to be begged for that. Likewise, don't be shocked if I do the same to you. Beg you, and I mean beg you to"

She whispered, breathily, quietly in my ear, her lips against my skin, "Fuck me, J, please please please fuck me, fuck me fuck me fuck me. Give me that pie right in my face, and please please I beg of you, I beg beg beg you, fuck me.."

She leaned back, and looked at me, sipping her wine. "Oh. My. God." I said, "Don't ever forget that."

"That work for you does it?" she asked

"200 percent, Eve. Do that to me and you are going to get"

"Pounded?" she asked.

"Pied and pounded", I said.

She said, quietly, "I'm not sure who is more turned on by that. Me or you. I kinda lit myself on fire, whispering that to you."

I asked, "Have you ever done that to anyone before?"

"No, never." she said.

I said, "Am I wrong, or is our chemistry off of the charts?"

She said, "You, sir, are not wrong."

The wait staff brought the bill, which we split, and after a moment collecting ourselves, we left the wine bar.

Standing on the street, waiting for our rides, I said, "Oh, damn, we forgot to order our espresso and chocolate nipples."

She turned around, and hugged me. She put her arms around my neck, and pressed her body against mine, and kissed me. We made out for a while, the feeling of her body pressed against mine exquisite.

Finally, with her arms around my neck, she asked, "Whats next?"

"We go pie shopping.", I said.

She nodded, "I'm going home alone tonight, but come over tomorrow, OK?"

I nodded, "You're on. Text me the details."

We both went to our respective homes, wired-up and walking on air.


*


Eve texted me her home details, and we agreed on a time for our date. Carrying two shopping bags in one hand, I found her apartment in the high-rise at the address she'd sent me. I knocked on the door, and I heard quick footsteps on the other side. She opened the door, beaming. "Hi! Come on in!"

She was in a yellow summery dress that absolutely showed off her body. "You look great, Eve. Sexy!"

"Thank you! You look sharp yourself". She undid another button on my shirt and caressed my chest. "Come in", she said.

I kicked off my shoes and socks, since she was barefoot, and followed her into her apartment. I placed the bags by the wall in the hallway along the way.

After many minutes of kissing in her living room, she took my hand and said "Come see what I bought!" I followed into the kitchen. She did her best Vanna White impression and said, "Ta daa.." to two very large banana cream pies on the kitchen counter.

"Wow!", I said, "Those are nice!"

She said, "You talkin' about my boobs or the pies?"

"Both", I said, "But, those pies. Where'd you get those?"

"Special order", she said proudly. "A bakery, not far from here. I told them what I needed but not what for and they came through."

I was grinning, "Look at all of that whipped cream!"

She nodded, "Uh huh! And beneath is quite a lot of banana cream."

She embraced me again, "I'm nervous!", she said.

I nodded, "Understandably!" She replied, "On the one hand, I'm really excited, but at the time time, really nervous!! Like standing in line for the roller coaster."

I asked, "Well, maybe we can ease your nerves. Do you like role-play?"

"I love role play! It makes sense that we have that in common too, but how's that gonna help me?" she asked.

I said, "Well, we could RP a skit, or a scene, where the pies eventually fly."

"I see, ahhh hmm.. I think I'm too nervous for that. I think you should just let me have it when I'm not expecting it."

"Got any paint tarps by chance?" I asked, because I'd forgotten to buy some.

She darted out of the kitchen, "Yes! One second.."

I met her in the living room, and she tossed me an unopened tarp. She said, "You take a look at that, I'm gonna go put on something sexy."

"That's not sexy? A yellow sundress that encourages all of your assets to shine?", I said.

She waved me off, "You ain't seen nothin' yet. Just hang on."

She darted to the bedroom, and closed the door. I open the tarp, and set it up in the living room as if the place was about to be painted. It wouldn't keep all of the pies off of the walls, but it would catch most everything if Eve and I ended up in a really chaotic pie fight.

She returned to the living room, this time wearing a very sexy pale blue dress, low cut with thin shoulder straps. And nothing else, as far as I could tell. She had a nice bounce when she walked that I enjoyed completely. I could see the imprint of her nipples in the thin fabric of the dress. The sides were also cut low.

"That is one very sexy dress.. wow", I said.

"You like?" she asked, twirling around once.

"Mmm..hmm.", I said my eyes glued to her.

There was more kissing, and groping, and we weren't in a rush. Instead, we enjoyed each other's company, and ratcheting up the passion and lust increment by increment.

"This dress.. mm!", I said, "You have nothing on underneath!", stating the obvious.

She adjusted a strap I kept fiddling with, and adjusted the dress back up over her left boob that was threatening to expose herself. "Not a gosh darned thing. I'm full buck nekked under here. How about you?" She slid her hand into my jeans, and under my boxers, "Ooh, oh! Mm, you feel good."

"Thank you! Your dress is increasingly pointless, though", I slid her right strap down over her shoulder, "These straps just won't stay up."

She said, "Well this dress just won't stay on."

I said, "Now, that's a great idea. You know what I'd love? You run into the bathroom, take off your dress, and run back out here and embrace me!"

She grinned and said, "OK!" she kissed me, and darted down the hall to the bathroom, and closed the door.

I dashed as quickly as I could and picked up a banana cream pie, which was heavy for a pie, and moved as quickly and as quietly as I could to the bathroom door.

The door opened a crack, and I stood out of the sightline, against the wall. Eve dangled the dress, her bare arm through the opening, and yelled "It's off! I'm naked!! Ready steady here I come!". She tossed the dress to the floor and, nude, opened the door ready to make a dash to the living room.

As soon as the door opened, I stepped in front of her, holding the pie. Just as she took a step forward, I planted the banana cream pie into her face and gave it a twist. She staggered backwards on one foot, and recovered her balance.

The pie hit with a delicious sound, and sent whipped cream and banana cream around her neck, over each shoulder, and over her head in a wave.

"WHAA!", she yelled, in shock. She gasped, and smiled as I pulled the tin away from her face. The tip of her nose stuck out from a pied face, crust stuck to her. Her hands held out in front of her, she laughed as whipped cream and pie fell and landed on her arms, breasts, and feet.

"OH MY GOD!", she yelled, "This feels good!", and after laughing and gasping for several moments, finally pulled crust and pie from eyes. She blinked her eyes open, her face beautifully pied, and her whole head a mess of splattered and splashed banana cream pie. She turned to look in the mirror at herself, and laughed, "HO my god!", she blinked, "Oh I love it, I look great!"

I quickly took off my clothes, and standing in front of Eve naked, I said, "You asked for it!"

She darted forward and threw her hands around my neck, and kissed me. Taking a handful of pie from her head, she covered my cock with cream, and stroked me while we kissed. "You really got me. And by the way, wow you are sexy!", she said.

"Mmm hmm", I said between banana cream kisses. "How'd you like it?"

"Your crazy-hard sexy penis or the pie in my face? Love them both", she said, her face still dripping pie, and her breasts and arms getting more cream as it fell from the sides of her head. Both shoulders were draped with pie. Still stroking me, she said, "You're not going to do that again, are you?"

I took her by the hand to the living room, and said "Wait here",

Clearing cream from her eyes, and licking her lips, she said, "Uh oh"

I walked back into the living room, banana cream pie in hand.

She looked at me, and theatrically said, "Oh, a pie! Oh my goodness. Is that for me?"

I played right into the scene. "It could be. Would you like it?"

"Well, why yes, I would, but why are you giving me a pie? I don't understand?", she played.

"Oh, because I'd absolutely love to take this pie and let you have it!"

"You would? Oh, you wouldn't do that again, would you?"

"I asked, "Do what again"

"You know what!"

"Hit you with a pie?", I asked.

She nodded, theatrically, "Hit me with a pie!"

I shot-put the pie, and gave her her second pie in the face of the day. She took the pie brilliantly, and gasped, "Oh"

This time, she rubbed and caressed cream all over her body before groping about for me. Once she found me, she kissed me deeply, saying afterwards, "This is the most erotic thing I've ever experienced". Our hands were all over each other's increasingly slippery and sticky bodies.

She broke away, and uncased one of the pies I'd brought. She handed it to me and said, "Here hold this..", and sunk to her knees. "Mmmm. You have a truly gorgeous cock, you do know that right?" and proceeded to give me the best blowjob I'd ever had in my life. She started slowly, teasing, and increased the tension and sensations until I was groaning and practically shaking. She stopped at one point, caressing and stroking me with both hands and said, "I honestly am not doing this for you, but I'm happy you like it. This is for me. When I'm doing this, you're my sex toy and not the other way 'round." and she went back to having fun, licking, sucking, and playing with my cock.

Finally, while she was completely preoccupied with her entertainment, I tapped her on the head. She looked up and said, "What?" and I flat-handed the pie over, hitting her again with a pie in the face.

This time, she moaned, gave me one good lone, slow suck and stroke, and stood up as pie slid from her face down to her, and my, bodies. She kissed me, hard. I pulled her to the floor on top of me. She said, "Piegirl position"

I laughed, until she slid onto me, slowly. We both gasped, and at the same time said, "fuck me!"

We then said "jinx!" at the same time. Laughing, I said, "Just please, fuck me as long as you can. I'm your sex toy, Eve!"

"Oh my fucking god.." she exclaimed as I teased her clit. She was a very energetic partner, and we had sex until she had her second orgasm, when she collapsed on top of me, gasping. "Ok.." she panted, "sex position, tied for first"

After a while, she slid off of me, and I gasped. She had to keep wiping cream out of her eyes. We looked at each other, kissing gently. When I said, "I want a pie..", she bolted up and off of me, and walked to unpack and pick up two pies.

Walking back, naked, a pie in each hand, her breasts moving with each step, I was mesmerized. I stood up. She asked me, "Would you like a pie?"

I said, "Yes, I would, thank you."

"Are you sure you want a pie?"

I nodded, "Yes."

"Are you suuuuure you're suuuure? Absolutely sure? Because I'll let you have a pie..", she said.

"I'm sure I'm sure, absolutely, if you'll let me have a pie." I said.

"How about. two pies? Would you like both pies?", she asked.

I nodded, "That's very generous! Why yes, I'll take both pies."

She asked, "Sooooo, you want me to what, let you have it?"

I nodded, "Absolutely, let me have it." I said.

"Ok", she said, "I'll let you absolutely have it" and she smashed both pies in my face, one on either side, and smeared them around, "with a pie in the face!".

When she stood back, I removed the tins from my head, and was able to open my eyes and blink at her, smiling. I expected her to laugh, but instead, she said, "Oh my god J, you are fucking sexy right now. You look so good. You're smiling after I pied you!"

I nodded, "And oh my fucking god, you really pied me!"

"Oh I really did", she said, and started giving me a handjob as she started kissing me. Banana cream pie got into our mouths as we kissed, which just made things that much hotter. I had my hands all over her body, up and down and everywhere, and she had hers on my cock.

"I could really get used to hitting you with a pie", she said, "I really enjoyed that!"

She got back to her knees, and I wiped my eyes, flicking cream down over her body. She ignored it, and focused on continuing giving me a whipped cream banana cream blowjob. Mouth, tongue, and hands.

It didn't take long for my legs to start shaking, and I could feel an immense orgasm welling up. "I'm gonna make you cum so fucking hard" she said, and I looked down. Blurry from cream, I could see her enjoying herself, and when she found a technique that made be visibly shake and lose my mind, she kept at it. I said, "You're gonna make me cum if you keep doing this"

"Oh, AM I?", she taunted back, until I absolutely exploded in the most intense orgasm I could remember. She kept going as I came all over the place, and she only stopped when I took her hand in mine and squeezed.

I collapsed to the pie-littered tarp, and pulled her on top of me, and kissed her. I could taste me on her mouth, and she kissed me back, hard.

When we came up for air, she said, "You kissed me on my mouth just after I had to spit out a mouthful of your cum is the goddam sexiest thing." I nodded, because I as gasping and couldn't talk much.

"Holy. Fuck. Eve!" I gasped.

She said, "I'll take that as a compliment."

She leaned up and kissed me, "Thank you for the pies in my face. I loved them."

After a while, I said, "My pleasure, for the record I have a give Eve a naked pie in the face fetish." She laughed, "Good!". I continued, "And thanks for pieing me. I loved it."

She gasped, "You know what, me too. You really loved it so much, it was so sexy you were so sexy pied. I mean, I loved it. I loved pieing you, I really did. I want to to that again, count on it."

I smiled. She continued, "I'm serious. I didn't think pieing you would turn me on, but whoa boy did it. I mean, you should have seen you, naked with that gorgeous hard cock and pie in the face.. I guess I'm a full on pie in the face kinkster now. But I still wanna get it first. I like getting the first pie in the face."

We cuddled in the afterglow of our fantastic sex until we both got sticky and cold enough to get moving. "Shower time", I suggest. "Shower time", she agreed.

We walked to her shower, which was more than large enough for the two of us at once. Our feet sticking to the tarp as we went. I grabbed a couple of cans of shaving cream and some picnic plates from a shopping bag as we passed by.

I placed them on the floor outside the shower, and Eve laughed. "Shaving cream, yuk!", she made a face. "It tastes awful!"

We got under the hot water, and it took us both a long time of soaping and rinsing each other, and shampoo, to get all of the pie off and out of our skin and hair. Not that we were complaining; we had a blast together in the shower.

I picked up the can of shaving cream and a styrofoam picnic plate, and emptied the contents of the can onto the plate. "Oh. my god" she said, grinning as the pie grew to absolutely huge proportions. I added some warm water to it, and "shaped" it with my hand to look like a pie and not like someone has emptied a can of shaving cream onto a paper plate.

"The thing about shaving cream pies is that they look great! Hysterical, and sexy! And the stuff if really slippery."

Eve made a face, "Yuk! But it tastes awful! I'll give you that point, they do look good, but, bleh! Don't hit me in the face with that, I mean it!"

I held the huge pie in my hand. "I've been pied with these before, it's fun!"

She nodded, "Uh huh, sure, if you say so. Why don't you let me hold the pie, then, if it's that fun."

"Why", I asked, "So you can give me a pie in the face?"

She shrugged and said, "Well, I wouldn't put it past me. There's only one way to find out right?"

I said, "Right. Ok, fine, you can hold the pie. But when I ask for the pie back, you have to really give it to me, agreed?"

She laughed, "Oh you are such an idiot! Of course, I agree, when you ask for the pie, I'll give it to you!"

I nodded, totally into the act now. "Can you imagine what a pie in the face with this pie would look like?" I asked. She responded, "I'd rather see it for myself than imagine it, but, yeah, I can!"

I laughed ,"I bet you would! Ok, fine, you can hold the pie. As long as you agree that when I ask for it, you really let me have it."

She snorted a laugh, "Oh you better believe it."

"Ok, well then, if you agree to terms", I said.

She nodded, "I do!"

I said, "Ok, here's the pie". She flinched, and said, "Put it on the floor!!"

I placed it down, and she picked it up. "Whoa, it is big, are you sure about this?"

I nodded, "'I'm sure. Are you sure?"

She said, "Pretty sure .You've been pied with one of these before?"

I said, "I have!"

She looked at my cock, which was growing as we were playing. She grinned, "Ok, well, yeah, then, I'm sure."

I said, "Ok, feel safer now? Holding that pie?"

She said "I do, yes, thanks. Hmm.. it's big.. looks nice, I bet this would be an awesome pie in the face!"

I said, "Oh, it would be! You really should experience it sometime."

"I'm a lawyer, you know that's vague enough to mean many things!", she laughed.

"Oh, I know!", I said.

She said "Well ok then! You want the pie back?"

I said, "Hey now, you agreed, I'd ask for the pie and you'd let me have it."

She smiled, "I did agree! I was just asking."

I looked at her, "Why? Have you changed your mind?"

She said, "Nooooooo"

I said, "Ok! Well, so you still agree, I will ask for you to give me that pie, and you will absolutely let me have it. Right?"

"She giggled, "Ok, this is turning me on. yes!"

I stepped closer, and we locked eyes again. "So, you're good? I'll ask for you to.. you know. Give. Me. That. Pie. And you will absolutely, no kidding, really let me have it. I mean, Reallly let me fucking have it"

She bit her lip, "I am so turned on right now, you've really hit a button. You're sure you want me to really fucking let you have it?"

"I do", I said, "Are you absolutely sure that you want to take that pie I made and really, truly, let me fucking have it?"

"Ohhhhhhhh, you know I do..", she said. She reached out with her free hand and stroked my now-hard cock.

"Well then, Eve", I said, gazing into her eyes, "I think it's time you stopped holding that pie. Give. Me. That. Pie."

She tilted her head up and licked my lower lip. "You mean, really really let you really fucking have it?"

I said, "That's exactly what I mean. Let me really, really fucking have it!"

She smiled, "Oh, you silly silly sexy manhere's YOUR PIE!"

She slammed the pie into my face, where it stuck. I stood there, for a moment, in comic reaction. She giggled a little, and watched as I pulled the plate from my face. I opened my eyes, barely, and smiled.

She gasped. "Oh, I love it", she said, "You look fucking sexy. OH, you look So. Good."

She took cream from the plate and smeared it up and down my body. She then took the plate and placed it on top of my head, where it stuck. I wiped cream from my lips and eyes, and as she smeared the slippery lather all over my chest, I smeared some all over her neck and breasts.

"Oh this does feel amazing!" she said, "That was crazy hot. I don't know why that just turned me on megawatt, but holy hell, it did. I love it when you ask to get pied, I guess!"

She turned around and bent forward, her hands on the shower wall. "Fuck me, sexy pie face, I need you to fuck me, so much right now."

I slowly slid into her, and she gasped, and we had her favorite sex in the shower.