Foreword:

Back in late 2008 I decided to try my hand at storytelling. Things got out of hand, and what was intended to be a single story ballooned into an entire series. Given this, I've written a short(ish) teaser to give you a taste of my writing style and help you decide whether or not you want to read more. This is the third time I've tried to post this series online - both of the previous sites went offline before I could reach the end. Hopefully it'll be third time lucky.

The basic premise is 'The movie Aliens with mess instead of peril.' Everything is PG-rated and generally light-hearted in tone. In terms of setting, I've tried to do something a little different. You may like it, you may not, but you won't often find a series that includes scenes inspired by (i.e. ripped off from) sources as varied as The Thing, The Wild Bunch, Aliens, and even Jurassic Park.

For those who want to see the payoff, the next part should be up in a couple of days. I don't want to spam the forum, so I'll aim to add further chapters at a rate of one a week or so. I realise that the audience for this type of story is small, but I hope you like it.


The Splatter Dome: Teaser

Wrapped in a veil of mist, the cocoon dominated the cavern's centre. Lisa could scarcely tear her eyes from it. Mottled and misshapen, it rose like a dark monolith from the placid pool of water, its crest almost touching the rocky ceiling. Lisa wetted her lips, swept back her coppery red hair, and checked her surroundings one more time. A wry half-smile graced her lips - no, she hadn't been dreaming.

With its sandy hue and warm, thick air, the subterranean grotto - and the winding tunnels which coiled out from it - had the look and feel of an immense termite nest. A dizzying assortment of cables, crates, gadgets and gizmos lay littered about, all arrayed as though monitoring the cocoon. Tripod-mounted spotlights ringed the hulking shape, their glare turning its chitinous surface faintly translucent and hinting at another, darker outline deep within.

The glow cast by the spotlights did not extend far. Shadows danced at the chamber's edge, besieging the disc of pale light. All was quiet.

A quiver of nervous anticipation ran down Lisa's spine as her thoughts returned to the plinth beside her. Stationed reverently upon it, as though it were some priceless relic, sat a plunger box. A cable threaded from the plinth's base to disappear into the cloudy, faintly luminescent water around the cocoon. Lisa didn't know what pressing the plunger did, and frankly she didn't want to know.

A demure cough caught her attention. Clear blue eyes were watching her, glimmering in the pool's reflected light. Surprise gave way to recognition - she'd almost forgotten Melissa was there. Tall, softly-spoken and somewhat mysterious, her friend seemed always to exude an aura of quiet calm. Ash-blonde hair flowed around Melissa's face as it tilted quizzically, a fey smile emerging upon full lips. Her whispered words were soft, lyrical and dripping with irony.

"Impressive, isn't it?"

Anxious though she was, Lisa chuckled. The cavern might've been rather unsettling had everything not resembled the set of a fifties B-movie. As it was, it evoked pity more than anything. Constructed on the feeblest of budgets, most of the gadgetry amounted to cardboard boxes given a lick of paint and adorned with a few reflective stickers. One satellite dish was blatantly just a crudely customised garden parasol. Even the walls looked more like papier-maché than sandstone. It was almost insulting. I've been in pantomimes with better production values.

"Too right," Lisa replied, her voice deadpan. "It's like being on another world. Not too keen on the costumes though."

Grinning, Melissa gestured to the snow-white string bikinis they each wore. "What? Isn't this what all scientists wear?"

Lisa grunted. "I'm certain it said 'lab coats' in the script."

"Well, this is meant to be set in the future. Maybe lab gear gets a little skimpier as time goes on?"

Lisa raised an eyebrow. "It doesn't bother you even a little?"

Her companion's tranquil shrug sent ghostly reflections dancing over her curves. "Not really. I mean, it's all in good fun, right? Besides, we've all done beach scenes before."

Yeah, but not like this. "I guess so," Lisa conceded.

As acting jobs went, this one fell most definitely into the 'miscellaneous' category. It said a lot that, were she to compile a list of everything odd about this project, the notion of scientists wandering around in beachwear would warrant barely a footnote. It was amazing what could be excused in the name of charity.

This artificial cavern formed part of a much larger but equally kitsch arena in the heart of the English countryside. For this scene, the prelude to a major fundraising event planned for the following week, the three of them had been flown all the way from their native Australia. Or at least there was supposed to be three of them - where Kirsty had wandered off to was anyone's guess.

Lisa now bore the honoured title of Chief Science Officer of Aurelius VII... whatever that meant. The script - to use the word loosely - had been little more than a series of stage directions. The rest was down to them to improvise. Apparently their characters were here to conduct an experiment of some sort, yet they'd been instructed to retreat to a nearby research outpost once the scene got underway. Something, it seemed, was destined to go badly wrong.

Just then Melissa tensed. "Did you hear that?"

Lisa had been lost in thought. Frowning, she shook her head. "Hear what?"

Exhibiting an almost ethereal grace, Melissa seemed to glide toward the cavern's centre. "It sounded like... clicks," she murmured. "I think the cameras just switched on."

Lisa groaned. In an effort to make their reactions as natural as possible, all the cameras were hidden. There wasn't even a crew; whoever controlled this place did so remotely, from an operations room in the nearby manor.

"Did anyone say when things were meant to get started?" she enquired, throat suddenly dry.

The blonde giggled nervously. "No, they just said we'd know it when it happened."

"Sounds ominous."

"Tell me about it."

"But we can't start yet," Lisa said, trying to convince herself more than anyone, "Kirsty's not here. Where she's got to, anyway?"

"Backstage. Going through her script, last I saw."

"Still? How's that even possible? I'm the only one with any proper lines."

"Nothing wrong with a little professionalism," called a cheery voice. It had come from across the chamber, where a smudge now appeared in the shadows. They watched as a slender silhouette coalesced from the gloom, and then Kirsty skipped into the light. Cocoa-coloured hair brushed against the base of her neck, framing a bright-eyed face with a button nose and lightly-tanned skin. Like the others she wore only a white bikini, though she showed not a hint of embarrassment as she sauntered across the chamber.

"You took your time," Lisa noted.

"Gotta get into character for a serious role like this." Kirsty's eyes twinkled with excitement. "I take it you saw how this ends?"

"Yeah-yeah, don't remind me." Thinking back to the script's final, enigmatic lines, Lisa suppressed a shudder. While they hadn't been allowed to meet the villains, they had been warned what to expect...

"We're going to get slimed!" sang Kirsty. "Nervous?"

"No," Lisa protested, a little too emphatically. As if the premise weren't already absurd enough, the villains' modus operandi basically involved throwing gunge at people, with anyone who got too messy being eliminated from the game. Lisa's script hadn't specified her character's fate, but the odds of her staying clean didn't look good.

She pouted as Kirsty tapped her arm reassuringly. "Come on, Lisa, you're always like this. It's like that time we went kayaking - you start off all jittery, then you end up loving it. Mel, how about you, feeling scared?"

An anxious titter escaped Melissa's lips. "I think I'm more curious than anything."

Kirsty nodded approvingly. "That's more like it." Turning to the alien edifice at the cavern's centre, she clapped her hands together. "Right, time to get things rolling." With that she strode confidently to the encircling moat. A faint glow radiated from beneath the ice-still water, bathing Kirsty in silver light.

"Hang on a sec," said Lisa, "weren't they going to announce-"

"Lisa, relax, I know what I'm doing... kind of."

"Kind of?"

Peeking back over her shoulder, Kirsty grinned playfully and then, with the faintest of splashes, hopped into the pool, shattering the looking-glass surface into a whirl of shimmering ripples. Kirsty stood a fraction shorter than Lisa, who was no giant herself, and so the pool lapped around her thighs as she waded across, arms held above the water.

"Is it cold?" asked Melissa, a hand hovering nervously over her chin.

"It's not bad, actually," Kirsty replied, sounding a little surprised. Upon reaching the cocoon she stooped and dipped her arms beneath the surface. Water splashed against her hips as she fumbled about, until a second or two later she lifted a cable from the water and immediately jabbed it into the chrysalis. What Lisa had taken for a rock-hard carapace proved to be nothing of the sort, the cable sinking in like a rod through putty.

Lisa still couldn't quite believe that she'd willingly signed up for this. It was like an insanely elaborate version of the pranks they'd pulled on each other back when they'd first met, as young actresses on a cheesy soap opera. Now into their twenties, the friendship had endured, though chances for all three to get together at the same time had become all too scarce. For an opportunity such as this, Lisa was prepared to forgive a few little eccentricities.

She froze as the box housing the plunger whirred and beeped. A small red light had begun blinking beside it. Whatever Kirsty had done had triggered something.

"Looks like it's ready to go," Melissa said as she turned to the plunger box. "Guess this is the 'experiment' we're meant to be working on." There was an expectant pause. "Go on then, Lisa, you're in charge."

"Me? Why me?"

"You're the chief... something or other."

"So what are you?"

"I'm just a research assistant, apparently."

"Yeah? Well in that case you can assist me by activating the... the thing, there."

Melissa chuckled bashfully, her milky complexion brightening. "I... I don't know if I can be trusted with such a complicated procedure."

"What are you lot on about?" demanded Kirsty, who was still in the water. Hands on hips, her gaze flitted between them until, grasping the situation, she sighed. "Honestly. Okay, no worries, we'll all do it."

With that she powered back through the pool, soft splashes flicking up to her bikini bottoms, and sprang nimbly back out. Leaving a trail of damp footsteps, she approached the plunger.

It had seemed like no big deal before, when they'd been joking and bantering on the flight over, but now... Lisa glanced at her petite frame, clad as it was in only a few patches of fabric, and pictured it being pelted with gunk. Suddenly the knots of her bikini felt awfully flimsy. Hesitating, her teeth tapping together, she noticed Kirsty peer at her.

"You okay?" her friend asked, sounding slightly more serious than usual - though for Kirsty that wasn't saying much.

Lisa nodded grimly. "No sense putting it off, I guess."

"It'll be fine, seriously."

Finally, after a deep breath, Lisa plucked up her courage and stepped up to the plunger. One by one they placed their hands atop the handle. Nibbling her bottom lip in anticipation, Melissa stared at the chrysalis. "What do you suppose happens once we do this?" she murmured.

"One way to find out," chirped Kirsty. "All set?"

Shoulders hunching, Melissa nodded. Butterflies fluttered in Lisa's stomach as she did likewise. As one they leaned in, their noses almost touching, and began to press down. At first the plunger resisted, but then, accompanied by a high-pitched whine, it sank slowly into its housing.

Lisa's eyes squeezed shut.

Nothing.

Seconds passed. All was silent expectation. Okay, so now what? One eye opened, then the other. A green light blinked beside the plunger box, but nothing else seemed to have changed. Seeming equally perplexed, Kirsty and Melissa peered around the still chamber. Calm was returning to the surface of the pool.

Melissa straightened. "Well that was a bit of a let-down."

"I don't understand," muttered Kirsty, "I thought there'd be..." The words faded. "Scratch that."

A sudden sense of urgency gripped Lisa. Something wasn't right. "What? What is it?"

Kirsty was staring at something. Following her look, Lisa faced the cocoon. It seemed unchanged. Then she saw the thin trickles of lilac ooze rolling down its sides. Second by second the streams multiplied, springing forth from cracks and fissures that now cobwebbed its surface.

Melissa took a step back. "It... it's melting."

Loud crackling erupted all around them, accompanied moments later by a hollow drumming sound. Lisa gasped as magenta splotches appeared on a nearby control panel. Pieces of the ceiling were liquefying and falling away, the resulting mulch spattering the cavern like overripe fruit.

No, it can't be...

"The whole place is falling apart!" cried Kirsty.

It was true. Another chorus of whispering crackles emanated from the walls, which now glistened wetly in the murk. Purple sludge streamed from the dissolving chrysalis, polluting the pool, and there, within that crumbling mound, something was being revealed. Slowly a hulking yet indistinct outline emerged, the layers around it sliding steadily away.

Melissa had seen it too. "Oh my God, what is that?"

Taken aback by the sheer absurdity of it all, Lisa hesitated, unsure what to do. Stray spatters were beginning to fall dangerously close. While Kirsty giggled with disbelief, Melissa stood motionless, hands clasped to her mouth and eyes fixed on the melting mass of chitin and slime. Someone, Lisa realised, needed to take charge. Remembering their instructions, she spotted light glimmering from one of the side tunnels; it had to mark the way to the outpost.

"Right," she cried, "let's get the hell out of here!"

Bolting for the tunnel, gobbets of slime raining all around her, Lisa risked a brief glance back. Melissa was hot on her heels, the tall blonde cutting a ghostly figure in the pale half-light. Kirsty, however, was dawdling behind, stopping every few yards to peek back at the messy conflagration. Is she mad? She looks sad to be leaving!

A thunderous cacophony rang out around the pool. They had moved just in time. The cavern's centre was now a quagmire, gloop tumbling down in flickering columns even as the chrysalis' uppermost layers burst out like a slimy supernova. Lisa's eyes widened - was something moving at the heart of that maelstrom? No, impossible. Tearing her gaze away, she dashed for the exit, deftly avoiding the expanding tides of slush that seeped from the walls, and plunged into the tunnel. The roar faded as they left the cavern behind.

The passage, its sides rippled and uneven, was formed from the same material as the cave. The stuff, Lisa realised, that can dissolve at any second. She picked up her pace, but her fears were already being realised. Ponderous streams meandered down the walls, becoming thicker and more numerous with each passing moment.

"Faster!"

Kirsty had caught up now. Splashes and squelches emanated from left and right, seeming to chase them as they scurried along. Above the sound of her heart pounding, Lisa noticed a susurration of melodic laughter that seemed to come from everywhere at once, growing stronger the deeper they went.

An outstretched arm burst from the wall in front of her. Lisa recoiled, squealing. There were soft grunts as Melissa and Kirsty bumped against her, and then startled yelps rent the air - more grasping hands were breaching the now crumbling walls. Dextrous fingers clawed at the passage sides, opening great rents from which sludge spilled onto the floor. The laughter grew louder as the holes widened.

"They're coming through the walls!" shrieked Melissa, somewhat redundantly.

They? Regaining her wits, Lisa dodged a flailing arm and pressed on. Whoever they were, they'd be through those walls in seconds. The tunnel twisted before opening into a small, irregular chamber, riven by root-like pillars and lit by a diagonal shaft of light from an opening in the left-hand wall. Phew, at least here... oh no. Hands were already clawing through the walls. Squeaking in alarm, Lisa dodged frantically through the gnarled columns.

A low hiss, like that of an aerosol, sounded close by. "Hurry," cried Kirsty, her tone a strange mix of urgency and mirth.

Wasting no time, Lisa dashed toward the light and, finding herself at the foot of a ramp, scrambled up. A chorus of muffled voices pursued her, growing steadily louder. Another hiss sounded, even closer this time, followed by a slurping splash.

Kirsty spoke again. "Quick! They almost got me that time."

What am I doing? I'm a professional actor...

Cresting the slope, Lisa rolled smoothly to her feet and glanced back. A heartbeat later and Melissa's top half appeared, Kirsty's hand clasped in her own. Beyond them the shadows were alive with movement. Spinning back, it dawned on Lisa that the decor here was different. Instead of an unconvincing tunnel, she now stood in an equally unconvincing circular vault. Spying daylight, she bounded through a massive open gateway and into sunlit woodland.

Space and light rushed out, filling the horizon, as the hazy glow of a summer afternoon caressed her mostly-bare skin. She was free. The glade in which they found themselves was calm and welcoming, but no-one dared stop to admire it. Beyond, nestled in a horseshoe-shaped gap in the low, landscaped hills, was what could only be the research station. Four interconnected domes, white and gleaming, were arranged in a Y-formation with the largest at the centre. A path of rubber paving stones directed them toward this hub, where the doors were already open. Clearly their arrival had been anticipated.

Melissa looked back. "No one's following," she said, her relief palpable.

They paused beneath the bowers of a willow tree to catch their breath and gather their wits. "Lucky we're all in shape," Kirsty noted with a grin.

"What the hell..." began Lisa, tittering incredulously and gesturing back the way they'd come, "what the hell just happened there?"

"Something tells me those were the bad guys," Melissa replied dryly, though nothing could mask the excitement in her eyes. "Did anyone get a good look at them?"

All eyes turned to Kirsty, who'd been closest, but the brunette shook her head. "Sorry, didn't see much. They're all women though, judging by their hands." Her face brightening, she pointed proudly to her arm, upon which was a blue smudge the size of a plum. "Look, I got slimed."

Melissa chuckled softly. "Nice. Something tells me there'll be a lot more where that came from. Where'd the blue stuff come from?"

For a moment Kirsty looked perplexed. "Hmm... good question." Suddenly her shoulders tensed. "Uh, girls," she warned, "we have company."

Graceful figures, unmistakeably female, were flitting between the trees, the golden haze casting them in blurred silhouette. Lisa cursed under her breath. "Ideas, anyone?"

Still infuriatingly calm, Kirsty gestured to the outpost. "We go in, I guess." Lips curled into a teasing smile as her mischievous brown eyes fixed on Lisa. "But no worries, I'm sure they'll find a way in after us. And you know what happens then, right?"

This time Lisa's shudder was tinged with exhilaration. The three friends stepped through the doors. This, they knew, was only the beginning.

To Be Continued...