This is a pie scene I've had in my head for a long time. It would be great if it could be filmed, but so far it hasn't been. Personally, I love to see two good looking guys in a tit for tat pie fight, so in this story I (as my character) get to be an observer of a classic pie fight. The scenario involves an argument between the friend I've gone out for dinner with, and a waiter in the restaurant. My character isn't involved with the fight, but rather is an observer....and the story is told from my perspective.

The Restaurant: Part 1 of 3

My friend and I are out for dinner at a nice restaurant. We're both dressed in nice clothes, and are looking forward to a pleasant evening and a good meal. We're seated at a table and waiting for the waiter to come by. Time goes by and my friend starts to get annoyed at how long it's taking for the waiter to come to our table, but I tell him to relax and enjoy the night out together.

When the waiter finally comes to the table, he seems a bit irritated, right from the start. Almost as if he's bothered to have to be serving our table. The waiter abruptly asks what we'd like to drink and after we both say that we'd like some water, he turns and walks away without responding to either of us. This behavior irritates my friend, but I tell him that it wasn't that big a deal, and that maybe the waiter simply has too many tables to wait on.

After a few moments, the waiter returns with two glasses of water....but as he's putting them down, he accidentally spills some water on my friend's pants. My friend is upset at the water on him, but the waiter doesn't apologize. Instead he has an arrogant response to my friend's complaints, saying it was no big deal. Just a glass of water.

At this point my friend gets up out of his seat to argue. Embarrassed, I ask him to please sit down and remain calm, but he instead starts arguing loudly with the waiter. This argument doesn't seem to be resolving, until my friend picks up MY glass of water, deliberately spills some on the waiter and then sits back down, smiling.

I tell my friend that he shouldn't have done that, since what the waiter did was an accident. As I'm trying to reason with my now angry friend, the waiter comes over and pours an entire glass of water over my friend's head!

My friend is now furious, but I tell him to simply let it go and that I think it would be a good idea if we just leave. Instead, my friend gets up and throws a glass of water right in the waiter's face. And then for good measure, rips off part of the waiter's outfit!

He sits back down, pleased with himself, and I don't even know what to say about what I just witnessed.

At this point, I see the waiter pick up a pie from the dessert table, and come up behind my friend who's sitting facing me, and not seeing this. Before I can say anything, the waiter taps my friend on the shoulder, and as my friend turns he gets the pie smashed right in his face!

My friend just sits there for a moment, as pieces of the pie and crust fall from his face to the floor. At this point I tell my friend that we must leave immediately, but instead, he gets up to continue the fight. And just as he goes to pick up a pie to reciprocate, he's hit with a second pie!

Then, as he's standing there shocked, the waiter rips my friend's shirt completely off!! All I can do is sit there watching all this happen, and can't believe that my friend is now standing in the middle of a nice restaurant with his shirt off and two pies in his face.

By this point, my friend doesn't seem to care as much about the humiliation he's been subjected to, as he does about getting his revenge on the waiter.

The waiter, smiling and pleased with himself, doesn't see my friend approaching. But when my friend does, he grabs the waiter by his shirt, and completely rips off the waiter's shirt. The waiter, shocked and angry, begins to say "How dare you!" but before he can finish, he's hit square in the face with a banana cream pie!

- End of Part 1