Please note - this not mine - this was from an old MSN group back probably in the late 2000s, the author name has been lost to time.

Kate Connor cursed her alarm clock as it roused her at 7:30am. Kate never slept well the night before job interviews, even those for the rubbishy temp agency roles she had been going for of late. But this morning was different. This morning was for television.

Kate had been trying to get into television for almost two years after university with precisely no success. Sure, she had a first in drama and media studies from a redbrick university, and a school career at a fine and very expensive Ladies' college, but so did a lot of people. Sure, her looks were remarkable enough to be noticeable, but pretty girls wanting to get on TV were not few and far between. As ever it was Catch 22, you could not get TV experience without previous TV experience.

So Kate had spent the last two years wandering from one temporary office job to another, whilst applying for each and every TV role that came available. She had auditioned three times for Big Brother, once getting a very long way into the process, but without success. The roles she applied for ranged from modelling on shopping channels to presenting gardening programmes to reading the local news. All without so much as a television interview, but Kate was nothing if not persistent.

Thus it had come as a bolt from the blue when last week she had received a letter asking her to come to the newly built Chaos TV studios in West London for an interview. In truth, Kate couldn't even remember what the role was. She looked back through her notes and saw that the advert had been pretty vague, "Young attractive female presenter required for new start-up TV channel", something like that. As ever she had applied with no thought of getting a response. When the letter came, she telephoned immediately, to reassure herself that it was not some form of prank. It was not, and she was duly invited in for interview.

Kate struggled out of bed, shrugged on her dressing gown and padded into the bathroom. A lovely warm shower began to get her feeling human again. She made a mug of steaming hot coffee and began the long process of getting ready. First she selected a sensible but matching pair of bra and pants, the idea to make her heavy breasts enticing but in no way tarty. She slid sheer black tights onto her long, slim legs. She had opted for a smart black trouser suit with a white blouse, all of which she had meticulously pressed and ironed the night before. Then came the long task of brushing and combing her long blonde hair. Her hair had a natural flow and waviness to it that she found near impossible to control even if she wanted to, and she had no desire to hide the English Rose beauty most said it helped to bestow on her.

Once dressed, Kate opted for a cream coat to cover the ensemble against the November cold, and sensible but high heeled black shoes that pushed her to even taller than her five foot eight.

After a long journey involving a bus and two tube trains Kate arrived at the Chaos TV studios. They were sparkling new, with a good deal of chrome and modern art on display. The friendly receptionist sent Kate up to the fifth floor, where she sat on a black leather sofa to await her interview.

After a few minutes a smart woman in a black suit came out and moved over to Kate, smiling. She was in her mid thirties, had long chestnut hair, and was obviously very physically fit.

"You must be Kate" said the woman, offering a firm handshake. "I'm Rebecca Moran, the Chief Executive of Chaos TV. Please come inside".

The room was large with windows offering a fabulous view of the city skyline. Their was some odd contraption to her right as she entered, but Kate didn't really take it in as she was steered to her left. Here was what looked like a solid teak table, behind which another woman was rising to greet her.

"This is Fiona Clay, my producer" said Rebecca.
"Pleased to meet you" said Kate.

Fiona Clay was a small woman who Kate put in her mid to late twenties. She had short dark hair and wore casual clothes, jeans, sandals and a lime green t-shirt.

"Hi Kate" smiled Fiona. "Please sit down. Well, thanks for coming in. You certainly seem to be precisely what we're looking for."

Kate was a little nervous at her physical appearance being so obviously assessed and enjoyed by the producer.

"What I'd propose is a short chat, followed by a little practical audition" said Fiona "how does that sound?"

"Great" smiled Kate enthusiastically.

Fiona spent the next ten minutes taking Kate through her CV, her academic career and so on. The Channel owner, Rebecca, contributed very little.

"Right, that all seems fine" said Fiona. "I'll let Rebecca explain a little more about who we are and what we're looking for."

"We're going to start broadcasting early next year" began Rebecca in what Kate thought was a light Scottish accent. "To begin with, we will have five hours a night between 8pm and 1am. Until 10pm we will mainly be showing repeats, police car chases, seventies TV, that kind of thing. We want our main output, though, to be live TV, game shows, quizzes, that kind of thing. We envisage our flagship show being live between 10pm and midnight on Friday nights, and that is the show we can see you presenting."

Kate was sure she jumped in shock. Presenting a live show? A flagship show for a new channel? She couldn't believe her luck.

"We've been looking for a new face, a pretty girl with no background in TV. Above all, an adventurous girl with an open mind."

"That's me" smiled Kate.

"OK, well let me just explain a bit more first. The working title is 'The Gunge Show."

Gunge, thought Kate. Wasn't that the sort of slime they used on those TV shows when she was young?

"The purpose of the show will be to corner the post-pub Friday night male market. It will involve female contestants, female presenters and female audience members. There will be a degree of nudity, and there will be a huge amount of gunge."

Kate was now paying very close attention, and starting to wonder what she was getting into.

"As the main presenter, you would be required to oversee all of this mess. You would also be required to be gunged on a weekly basis. Is that something you'd consider?"

"Erm" stammered Kate, "I'm not entirely sure I understand the concept."

"I understand" smiled Rebecca. "What I propose is the following. Fiona here will take you through a little audition that will clarify to you much of what the show will be about. If at any time you wish to stop, just say so, and that's fine. I would say, though, that I really like you, Kate, and if this goes well I'd be happy to offer you the job."

Wow, thought Kate. Whatever it was, maybe like a custard pie or something, well, surely she could put up with it. She'd never get a chance like this in TV again.
"Great then" said Fiona. "What I'd like you to do, Kate, is to pop into the little side room just through there and change into the outfit waiting for you. Only what's there, please, nothing underneath."

"Okay" said Kate, and, getting up, moved into the next room. She found the room was little more than a large cupboard, with a chair and a full length mirror. On the chair lay a small pile of clothes. Kate was rather shocked to see that they consisted of nothing more than a t-shirt and shorts. Oh well, thought Kate, there were worse things than a bit of skimpy clothing. As she began to take off her suit she listened at the door, trying to catch a few snippets of conversation.

"Gorgeous"

"They're going to love that posh accent, that whole arrogant public schoolgirl thing."

Kate was a bit put out, public schoolgirl she had been, but she didn't consider herself arrogant. Once she had stripped completely, she put the outfit on. The shorts barely fit over her bottom, the t-shirt barely fit over her breasts. Kate wondered if they'd got her sizing wrong, or if it was intentionally so tight. She greatly suspected the latter. She noticed that the t-shirt had the slogan 'The Gunge Show' emblazoned across it in white letters. Right then, time to face the music, she thought, and stepped into the main room, her bare feet sinking pleasantly into the soft carpet.

"Wow" said Fiona.

"Great. Perfect in fact" smiled Rebecca.

Kate was encouraged and spread her arms as she stood before them.

"What you are wearing will be the team uniforms on the show" said Fiona. "As host you will probably wear something classy but casual. Now then, the big test. Have a look behind you."

Kate did so and for the first time properly took in the contraption she had noticed on her arrival. It was like a tall, transparent cupboard. On further examination she saw a low stool inside, and a door that opened outwards towards her. She also noticed that above the cupboard sat a container which appeared to contain a large amount of a green substance. Kate began to get a horrible feeling about what was going to happen next. She noticed Fiona had stood up and walked over to join her.

"OK Kate, why don't you get inside and sit on the stool. Nothing will happen without my teling you first, I promise."

Kate got inside, and sat down on the low stool, noticing how cold the metal floor was on the soles of her bare feet. Fiona shut the Perspex door behind Kate and smiled down at her.

"Right Kate, this is what we call a gunge tank. It's a prototype of what we will have in abundance on the show. You are now sitting in the victim's seat. During the show, a number of victims will sit in such a seat. What we would do then is pull this chain that is beside me, and the tank of green slime above you would be released. Kate, if you want to present the show, because we require the presenter to get messy too, you will have to let me gunge you right now."

Kate couldn't imagine how awful it would be to be slimed even in that office, let alone live on national television. But this chance would never come again.

"Go on then," she said, flicking her hair back and giving her sexiest smile. "Go on, gunge me!"

Fiona didn't wait to allow her to have second thoughts. She yanked the chain down.

Kate closed her eyes and screamed. Green gunge exploded from the tank above her head and splattered on top of her. The flow hit her full on the head and within a second she was completely covered in green slime. Soon the flow slowed, and in some ways this was harder for Kate to take as a steady trickle slithered down on to her previously blonde, now bright green, hair. Great dollops of gunge dripped down her face. To her amazement, despite their tightness, the slime had slipped into her t-shirt and shorts and she could uncomfortably feel a large dollop of gunge slither steadily over her left breast. The flow over her head continued, Kate couldn't believe how much slime the tank contained, she splashed her feet in the ever-increasing pool on the floor.

"Brilliant" said Fiona, looking at the slimed mess in the tank. "Rebecca, I think we've found our new presenter."


*****


Looking back now, Kate couldn't believe she had agreed so readily.

They'd led her out of the tank, and given her a lovely hot shower which she had stayed in for almost half an hour. Then, wearing nothing but a snug towelling dressing gown, she had signed a contract for the initial run of seven episodes.

She was to be gunged once a show, in a segment Rebecca had decided to call 'Kate's Fates'. As they would be reliant on income from phone calls, Kate's precise Fate in each episode would be decided by viewers vote. She would be joined by two co-presenters, "Dolly Birds" according to Fiona, who would not escape the gunge eventually.

The contract was fantastic, the opportunity amazing, but now, with the studio lights on, live audience in situ, Kate couldn't help but wonder whether or not she'd done the right thing.

"Hi, good evening, and welcome to the very first edition of The Gunge Show!"

Kate opened her arms wide, gesturing to the bright studio around her, and the large audience, after several hours in the subsidised bar backstage responded with applause, whoops and cheers.

Kate wore her long blonde hair loose over a red t-shirt with 'The Gunge Show' logo emblazoned across it in white lettering. The t-shirt was a size too small, as were the denim shorts she wore which barely grazed the top of her thighs. Long black boots which reached to just below the knees completed the outfit. Kate knew that it was the best look for the target audience, but felt rather exposed in so revealing an outfit on national television.

"You are watching the game show with the best prize on television.but also the messiest, slimiest games and forfeits! Without further ado; let's see what our series winners will win"

The show cut to a video, with Kate on voiceover. "Our winning team will spend three months on an all expenses paid trip around the world. Flying first class from London, they will first experience the pyramids of Egypt. Then it's on to the amazing contrasts of Hong Kong island, before a trip down under! You'll see Uluru, the Sydney Opera House and the Great Barrier Reef, with a week's relaxation on the beaches of Fiji to follow. You then fly to South America, experiencing both Buenos Aires and Carnival in Rio, before finishing your trip in the USA, visiting San Francisco, Las Vegas and New York! This incredible trip will be won on this series of the Gunge Show!"

Having watched the video showing the well-known sights from these destinations, the audience cheered.

"A wonderful prize indeed", smiled Kate, "but wait and see what the teams will have to go through in order to win it! Right, now it's time to meet the fist two teams trying to win that fabulous holiday. To introduce them, my able assistants Michelle and Charlotte!"

Michelle and Charlotte entered the studio to wolf-whistles and cheering. Both wore black catsuits with low cut tops, and silver open-toed high heels. Charlotte wore her blonde hair loose, Michelle as ever wore her trademark black hair band. On either side of Kate sat three high metal stools. Michelle went to stand to Kate's right, Charlotte to her left.

"Today Charlotte will be looking after the yellow team, and Michelle, would you please introduce the blue team!"

"Thanks Kate, yes, please welcome Stacey, Karen and Captain Faye; the blue team!!"

Three girls entered the studio to huge applause. Each wore the identical team uniform, tight blue t-shirts with the Gunge Show logo across the front, white gym shorts and bare feet. Stacey was a petite girl with short blonde hair and red painted toenails. She sat on the stool closest to Michelle, furthest from Kate. Sitting on the middle stool was Karen, similarly short but a little chubbier, with auburn hair tied at the back and falling forward to frame her face. Finally came Faye, who had very long black hair, with streaks of red running through it. Tall and slim, her fingernails were painted black, her toenails red. She also wore a black and white striped wristband on her left wrist. Faye perched on the stool closest to Kate.

"Welcome Faye, welcome girls", said Kate. "I hope the studio floor isn't too cold on your feet. Faye, you're the captain, please introduce yourself and your team."

"Hiya Kate, yeah it's freezing! I'm Faye, and our team are all barmaids. We work for one of the major pub chains in London. As you can tell from my accent I'm from Manchester originally, I'm 19 and I'm studying in London. I love Indie music, travelling and doing anything a bit crazy! Karen is my bar manager, she's 23 and from London. She's a telly addict so she can't believe she's on at last! Right on the end we've got the lovely Stacey, she's in her first term at LSE and works part time for us, she's 18 and originally from Southampton. She's the brainy one on the team!"

"Welcome to the Gunge Show, girls" said Kate. "So Faye, I take it you're prepared for everything we can throw at you?"

"Yeah, can't wait" enthused Faye. Faye took an active role in fund-raising at her university, and had spent an afternoon being pelted with wet sponges for charity, and during rag week had received a custard pie in the face. Of course, at the time she had screamed and protested, but deep down had hugely enjoyed herself, and the prospect of getting messy had been the major reason behind her getting her team together for the show.

Next to her, Karen too was keen. The prize was the sort of trip that a lifetime in bar work could never buy her, and she had resolved to do anything in her power to get it.

Stacey was nervously twitching on her stool. She hugely looked up to Faye, wished she could be as lively and confident as her. In truth, she had agreed to be on the team to please and impress Faye; but now she was aware of the cameras focussing on her pretty figure in her tight outfit, and was very uncomfortable.

"As Faye will find out, being team captain carries some important responsibilities, but also some pitfalls" teased Kate. "Now it's time to meet your opponents."

Charlotte stood to Kate's left. "Yes, please welcome the yellow team, Lydia, Sofia and Captain Lyndsey!"

The three girls came on from the opposite side of the studio to their opponents. They wore identical uniforms except their t-shirts were yellow instead of blue. This time nearest to Kate was Lyndsey, tall, slim and with straightened long dark brown hair.

"So, Lyndsey, you're the team captain? Introduce your team please!"

"Hi, I'm Lyndsey. I'm 26 years old and I manage my own hairdressing salon in Kent. I love all things to do with hair and beauty and style, so I'm not sure how well that'll mix with gunge, but that prize is too good to miss!" Lyndsey ruled her salon with a rod of iron, and, having seen the advert for the show, had made it very clear that her stylists would be accompanying her on the show. She had every intention of letting her team-mates take any messy forfeits, after all, she was the captain.

My team are my two stylists, Sofia and Lydia. Sofia is my senior stylist, she's 25 and just wants to be famous!"

Sofia waved. Tall and tanned, Mediterranean in appearance, Sofia had long legs with pink painted toenails. Her hair was very expensively styled, jet black curls falling far down her back. Sofia gave a broad smile, which concealed many misgivings. Of course, she'd now got her break, and was on TV, but up until now she hadn't really considered the concept of 'gunge'. In her skimpy outfit she suddenly felt very vulnerable in the cold studio; after all, she traded on her looks, and the very thought of getting messy horrified her. Still, a chance on TV was a chance on TV..

"She's been trying to get on Big Brother and X Factor, but this will have to do" giggled Lyndsey. "Lastly my junior stylist, Lydia. Lydia's 18 and just joined the salon from college. She loves to travel so she'd love to win the prize; she also didn't have a choice as I'm the boss and told her she had to come on the show!"

Lydia waved a little nervously. She had long, thin, fake-tanned legs with the same pink toenail polish as Sofia. Her hair was less ostentatiously styled, but fell in dark brown locks down to her shoulders. She had indeed been given no choice, Lyndsey had made heavy hints about her contract being up for renewal soon, so here she was. Her reluctance wasn't to do with getting messy, in fact she'd barely thought of it, she was just nervous at being on TV, especially in such a revealing outfit.

"Fantastic!" said Kate. Then, reading what the autocue said, she became a little nervous and flustered. "Now, before we begin, it's time for me to introduce Kate's Fates. Your lovely hostess, me, will, each week, receive a gungey forfeit by public vote. This week you can vote eithereeeeewww!! Either I get a custard pie in the face, or I get these lovely boots filled with custard. Eeeew! So a custardy fate for me one way or another. You should see the numbers to call at the bottom of your screen now. Well, round one for our two teams after the break!"




***

After the advertisement break, viewers saw that the teams had left the stage, and Kate stood in front of the apparatus for the first game. Two desks with two seats each sat either side of what was obviously a question-master's chair. Outside the desks sat two tall clear Perspex booths, each with a complex apparatus above them.

"Welcome to the first game!" said Kate. "Please show your appreciation for our two teams!"

The two teams filed back out to applause, still dressed as before. They stood nervously behind the desks, clearly unsure what to make of the arrangement.

"Right then teams" said Kate; allow me to explain a little bit about the show. You will play three games, each of which will give the winning team the opportunity to gain an advantage for our final round. The team that loses each game will find their captain paying a forfeit."

Lyndsey gave a start at this, Faye smiled happily.

"The first game is a simple quiz. I will be asking seven general knowledge questions. Two girls from each team will sit at the desks and answer the questions, one girl will sit in our lovely state-of-the-art gunge tanks! As you can see, the tanks are cleverly designed to have six different colours of gunge suspended above them. If you answer a question correctly, you win a point, and your opponent gets a gunging. Answer one wrong, and not only does your team member in the tank get slimed, but whoever gets the question wrong pays a forfeit. It will all become clear as we go along. Now, firstly, I need the captains to decide who will be answering questions, and who you are going to put in the gunge tank. Faye of the blue team, your decision please?"

"Er, well," said Faye, "Stacey and I are both at uni and are pretty good at quizzes so - sorry sweetie - I think Karen will have to go in the tank."

Michelle took Karen's hand and led her into the tank, shutting the waist-high door behind her. Karen sat nervously smiling on the small stool inside, looking up at the large pipe the loomed ominously above her head. Faye and Stacey took their places behind the quiz desk.

"So, Lyndsey" said Kate, "what about your team?"

"Well, I'm captain so I'm not going in there" said Lyndsey. "Lydia's just out of college so she ought to know a few answers - I'm putting Sofia in the tank."

"No way!" shouted Sofia.

"You said you'd do anything to get on TV, so in you go" said Lyndsey smiling.

Sofia looked furious, but flicked her hair and marched into the tank. Charlotte locked her in, and Sofia crossed her long legs and tried to look as calm as possible. Inside she was fuming. What would that stuff do to her hair? Lyndsey and Lydia sat behind the desk, and Kate took her spot in the main chair.

"Are we all ready?" asked Kate. "Right, then we'll begin. Question one. What is the capital city of Bulgaria?"

Almost instantly Stacey pressed her buzzer.

"Yes Stacey?"

"Erm, Sofia" whispered the little blonde nervously.

"That is correct" said Kate. "That means one point to the blue team, and, I'm afraid, a nasty surprise for Sofia!"

Charlotte had six different chains next to her, attached to the tank, and grinning, she pulled one. Sofia put her head in her hands as thin green gunge poured out of the pipe above her head. The gunge splattered her perfect hairdo, plastering her locks to the side of her face. Green slime pooled in her lap, and slithered down her long bare legs, forming a puddle over her bare feet.

"Oh my God!" screamed Sofia. "It's cold and it's disgusting!"

The audience cheered wildly as the reality-TV hopeful was slimed so comprehensively. In the tank, as the gunge flow slowed to a halt, Sofia was fighting a losing battle trying to wipe her face clean of the slime.

"Well, congratulations Sofia, the first girl to be gunged on the Gunge Show!" laughed Kate. "As Sofia has realised, our tanks hold an awful lot of gunge!. Now, next question. In which American city do the Giants, Yankees and Knicks play sport?"

Faye buzzed in. "New York - I've been there on holiday!" she grinned happily.

"That is the correct answer" said Kate "and Sofia gets even messier!"

"No way not agai-" said Sofia before being cut off by yellow gunge being pumped out onto her head. She leant forward in a vain attempt to protect further damage to her hair, only to find the slime trickle into the back of her t-shirt. She was now completely covered from head to toe in gunge. She was sorely tempted to get out of the tank and march off the show, but that would shatter her hopes of a career on TV. She would just have to sit here and take it, she thought, and hope none of the slime would sneak into her shorts.

"Oh dear, Sofia looks a bit worse for wear" said Kate, as the audience watched Sofia wiping away the yellow slime that was slithering down her face.

"Two nil to the Blue team. Next question; who won last year's Big Brother?"

Lyndsey slammed her fist down onto the buzzer just ahead of Faye. "Brian!"

"That's right Lyndsey. The yellows get on the board, Sofia gets some respite, and Michelle has something in store for Karen"

"Oh nooo" squealed Karen, drumming her bare feet on the metal bottom of the tank. She shrieked again as a torrent of green gunge hit her from above. Karen made no attempt to avoid it as Sofia did though, and though she continued to scream, she was grinning. "It's disgusting" she laughed, wiping her eyes, "it gets everywhere".

"Next question..who is the President of France?"

"Sarkozy!" buzzed in Stacey.

"That's right, and three one to the Blues" said Kate.

"Noooo" screamed Sofia, but too late, as red gunge flowed out all over her. Every inch of her was covered in slime, the gunge was now deep enough in the tank to completely cover her feet.

"Question Five. The film Atonement starred which famous British actress?"

Stacey buzzed in just ahead of Lydia. "Kate Winslet."

"Ooh, no, Stacey, I'm afraid that's wrong, the answer is Keira Knightley. So, that means a point for the yellows, a gunging for Karen-" Karen screamed again as blue gunge pumped down on her, her hair now a mess of green and blue slime, her tight clothes sticking to her, almost see-through - "and for getting it wrong, a small forfeit for Stacey. Stacey, I think Michelle has something for you.."

Michelle had crept behind Stacey, holding a custard pie. She wrapped her arm around the petite blond and rubbed the pie slowly into her face. Removing the silver tray, Michelle revealed Stacey's pretty face was now a mess of cream, pie crust and cold, sloppy custard which ran down the front of her t-shirt.

"As you can see, Stacey, our pies are excellent, a very thin pastry base, deeply filled with thick custard and topped off with a generous layer of whipped cream" chuckled Kate. Stacey wiped cream from her eyes and tried to stop the custard slopping down into her lap. Everyone at home had seen her get pied on TV, she thought, and oh my God, that custard was horrid and sloppy and slimy and she hated it. What had she let herself in for?

"Three-two. Question six. Which former Neighbours actor stars in the ITV soap Echo Beach?"

All four girls dived for the buzzer but Faye got there first. "Jason Donovan!" she screamed.

"Is right!"

Sofia screamed as this time purple gunge splattered down on her, though already fully slimed she clearly wasn't enjoying this experience one little bit. Her hair was now utterly ruined. She kicked at the slime with her bare feet, thoughts of the grand prize a long way off. Gunge had now infiltrated her t-shirt, and she felt the cold slime slithering over her breasts and flat stomach.

"So that means that the blue team have an unassailable lead and win the first round" declared Kate. "That means that they gain an early advantage for the final round, more of which later. It also means that, for losing this game, we have a forfeit for the losing captain. Lyndsey, you will spin our special captain's forfeit wheel."

Charlotte brought Lyndsey a small cardboard wheel with a pointer attached. There were six options that the wheel could land on. They read 'Pie', 'Custard', 'Gunge', 'Eggs' 'Beans' and 'Tomatoes'.

Lyndsey looked at this with some degree of horror. This wasn't going to plan at all.

"Er, as captain I nominate Lydia to do this on my behalf" she said.

"Oh, I'm sorry, we can't allow that" smiled Kate. "I think the wheel is pretty self-explanatory. Lyndsey, please spin the wheel."

The tall brunette reluctantly gave the wheel a spin.

"Custard!" exclaimed Kate happily. Charlotte, do the honours please!"

Charlotte held a carton of custard above Lyndsey's head. Slowly, she began to pour. The custard slowly trickled over Lyndsey's head, wrecking her expensive haircut. The custard poured down over her face, Lyndsey wasn't permitted to wipe it away. Charlotte emptied the carton gleefully over her victim, pouring the cold mess over Lyndsey's bare legs and feet too. Lyndsey couldn't believe it. Look at her! She was a disgusting mess on national TV, and that custard was so cold and disgusting. Not to mention the fact that they'd lost the round and she was now further away from the holiday than ever.

"Well, that's the end of the first round" said Kate. "Those contestants in need of a shower will be able to have one - unfortunately girls, there's no hot water - and we'll prepare for round two. In the meantime, it's time to introduce our first audience participation segment of the show. Now, one lucky member of our studio audience will be able to share in the fantastic prizes we have to offer on The Gunge Showwith one thousand pounds up for grabs!"

The audience 'oooohed' at this

"Firstly we need to pick a contestant. So would our computer please randomly select an audience member to join me on stage."


The studio lights fell dark, and a single spotlight danced around the audience, apparently at random. Of course, this was far less a lottery than it was presented to be, and the producers had ensured that one of only a select few of the more attractive female members of the audience could be selected.


Finally, the light stopped, and shone brightly down on a mousy-haired woman in the tenth row. She looked around shocked with her mouth open, clearly unsure if it really was her.

"Yes, it is you" said Kate, "Would you come down to the front and join me on stage please."

The woman made her way cautiously to the end of the row amidst clapping and cheering from the rest of the audience. She wore a loose summer dress of white with a red flowery pattern, and matching red sandals.

"Welcome" said Kate as the applause died down. "Now, tell us a bit about yourself, honey"

"Erm, well. I'm Debbie, I'm 30 and I work in HR in Wycombe".

"Great stuff Debbie, now, would you like to play for a thousand pounds?"

"Erm.." Debbie was more than a little shell-shocked to find herself on stage, after all she and her friends had come here for a laugh, not to get messy themselves. That said, she had already had three glasses of wine, and the money would certainly come in handy.

"Why not."

"Brilliant" said Kate. "Well, Debbie, because it's the first show of the series and we want everyone to be a winner, we're not even going to leave this to chance. As you will see, we have a gunge tank on stage. All you have to do to win one thousand pounds is sit in the tank, and allow me to pull the lever."

Well, thought Debbie, that could have been a lot worse. She allowed Kate to lead her to the tank, and she took a seat on the stool inside, having cast a nervous glance at the green gunk that was suspended above her head.

"There is a slight catch" said Kate, and Debbie groaned. "Unfortunately we are unable to offer you a change of clothes this evening. So unless you want to travel home in a gunge-soaked dress, I'm afraid you'll have to be gunged in your underwear."

"No way" said Debbie. "I'm a respected professional, I'm not stripping on live TV. You'll have to get some one else to do your challenge."

"Hmm", said Kate, "You see, Debbie, the thing is, I've already locked you in the tank, and you've already agreed to this. So I'm going to pull this lever and gunge you whatever happens; it's just a question of which you prefer, the strip or the gungey trip home?"

Debbie was furious, but saw she had no way out. Unfortunately for her, she had come on the tube, so going home a gungey mess was simply not an option. Slowly she slipped off her sandals and handed them to Kate. Then she unzipped her summer dress and stepped out of it. Debbie desperately wished that she had worn matching underwear now, but of course she couldn't have predicted this. She found herself live on national TV in nothing but a white lacy bra and unflattering dark green knickers. She was now shivering in the tank, and she had an idea that the gunge was unlikely to be warm

"Well, you're certainly earning your prize" said Kate. "Now, are you ready? In order to win the money, you will need to say 'Kate, please gunge me'."

Debbie glared at her, looked up at the imposing pipe above her, then down at the miniscule protection she had from the impending gunge. Through gritted teeth, she growled, "Kate, please gunge me".

"Certainly" said Kate, and gave a hard yank on the lever.


Green gunge spewed out of the pipe and splattered down on poor Debbie, who screeched piercingly as the ice cold mess splashed down onto her bare skin. After two initial blasts of gunge which completely obscured Debbie from view, the slime slowed to a trickle on top of her head. The tank was amazingly effective, Debbie was now green from head to toe, her face and hair not visible beneath the slime. Debbie was uncomfortably aware that neither her bra nor pants had provided sufficient defence, and the gunge had got everywhere. She sat a bedraggled mess as the remnants of the gunge splashed slowly down onto her head. Long drips of slime fell from her hair, and each of the Perspex walls of the tank were covered in green gunge.

"Ladies and gentlemen, your appreciation for Debbie" said Kate, and the audience cheered. Kate helped Debbie out of the tank, careful to avoid getting too much gunge on herself. Debbie splashed out, and thought that at least she had taken her dress off, it would have been ruined.

"You'll get your cash after a nice icy cold shower backstage" said Kate, and Debbie trudged off in unsteady, slimy steps, unsure whether to laugh or cry.


******


After an advert break, Kate returned to the centre of the stage.

"Welcome back to The Gunge Show! I can tell you Debbie is still in the shower trying to get that gunge offbut back to the main show, and the blue team have won the first game, so it's critical that the yellows strike back in game two. Please welcome back the teams!"

The teams trooped back on stage, with Sofia in particular looking worse for wear. She hadn't enjoyed her cold shower with very cheap shampoo, and her expensively styled hair was now rather a damp mess.

"Allow me to explain game two" said Kate. "In this game the three team members will sit on the three chairs provided, and will be blindfolded. At the bottom of the seat will be placed a large bowl containing - here's your only clue - a type of food. You will have to guess the type of food by placing your bare feet in the bowl. Each team member gets two bowls, so six in total. The teams will take it in turns, with the same foods used in the interests of fairness. Oh, and I forgot to say, if you guess incorrectly, the bowl will be emptied over your head!"

Sofia, Stacey and Lydia looked rather aghast at this. Stacey, in particular, had a bit of a thing about her feet and was not looking forward to this at all.

"The yellow team will go first" said Kate. Michelle led the Blues away off stage so that they couldn't see what was happening.

"Right then yellows, take a seat."

Lyndsey took the seat to the right, Sofia in the middle and Lydia on the left. The seats were specially designed with a number of straps. Each girl found themselves locked into the chair by a belt around the waist, and had their arms strapped securely by their sides.

"To prevent cheating, and also make sure you can't protect your head from the food" smiled Kate.

Lydia was to go first, and she was visibly nervous as Charlotte put on her blindfold. Once she couldn't see, she was instructed to lift her feet off the floor. Then, a bowl of cold custard was placed beneath her.

"In your own time, Lydia" said Kate.

Lydia could barely bring herself to lower her feet. It was far worse, not knowing what was down there.

Slowly she sank her bare feet into the mess. "Urggghhhhhh" she said as the custard oozed sloppily between her toes.

"Thirty seconds to give me an answer, Lydia" said Kate.

Lydia had forgotten about the game, concentrating on how yucky her feet felt.

"Erm, erm, it's sloppy and smooth, and, erm" stuttered Lydia, but then she remembered having enjoyed her bossy captain Lyndsey getting covered in custard earlier in the show.

"Custard?"

"Correct!" said Kate. "Your first point on the board and you avoid the custard on your head. Well done Lydia! Now, Sofia, your turn."

With very bad grace Sofia lifted her feet ready for the bowl. She had very large size 8 feet and was not looking forward to plunging them into whatever foul mess was being placed beneath them. Charlotte put a bowl of sloppy rice pudding below her, and Kate invited her to begin.

Sofia grimaced and pushed her feet into the mess. "aaaaaaagh" she squeaked as she felt the cold mess engulf her bare feet. It was cold and lumpy and slimy and she paddled her feet in quickly then lifted them out.

"A guess or feet back in, please, Sofia" said Kate.

"Oh, er, mushy peas?" guessed Sofia, who had no idea.

"No, I'm afraid that's wrong" said Kate delightedly. "It is in fact cold rice pudding, made with a particularly sloppy recipe I believe. So, not only no points for the team, but you get the bowl over your head."

The audience cheered, as it was pretty obvious to them that Sofia was rather too fond of herself, and they were eager for her to be gunged as much as possible. Charlotte removed Sofia's blindfold, and showed the bowl of mess to her.

"Ohhhh, come on, no way" whined Sofia, who was only too well aware that with her arms secured, she wouldn't be able to wipe any of the mess away. Slowly, Charlotte poured the slop over Sofia's head. The grey mess slopped all over her hair and down her unprotected face, with big dollops dropping down onto her shoulders and into her lap. Once it was all poured and poor Sofia was covered in pudding, Charlotte cruelly shampooed the mess into her hair, enjoying the mewling protests of Sofia as her beloved hair was further ruined.

"Splendid" said Kate, "and still another bucket to go for poor Sofia! But first, Lyndsey."

Lyndsey was by now distinctly unhappy at the way this show was going. She was getting far too messy, and Sofia in particular was proving to be a pretty useless team-mate. So with a grim determination she plunged her feet into her bowl. She was determined to guess correctly, not only to avoid the bowl over the head but to keep her team in the game. Her feet met cold, sticky slop with many lumpy bits in the mix. "urggh, that must be baked beans" she said as the sticky slime oozed between her bare toes.

"Correct" said Kate, and Lyndsey was allowed to remove her bare feet from the bowl, with beans dropping steadily from her soles as she lifted them clear.

"Two points so far team, and now it's Lydia's turn."

The second round was slightly harder as the girls weren't allowed to clean their feet, so Lydia's feet were still bright yellow with custard as she dipped them tentatively into her second bowl.

"Oh God, I don't know", she said as her feet met a cold, smooth mess. "Erm, I've no idea"; she stroked her feet around, gungey and foul though it was, as she increasingly started to panic about this bowl going over her head.

"I just can't think - "

"Time up" said Kate, "I need an answer please Lydia".

"Erm, custard again?" she said pathetically, knowing it wasn't right.

"No, I'm afraid that this time it's cold tomato soup" smiled Kate, "and you're about to get much better acquainted with it".

Lydia found her blindfold pulled off and the sickly smell of cold soup wafted up from the bowl in front of her. This would be Lydia's first proper sliming of the show, and she wasn't looking forward to it.

Charlotte tipped the soup quickly in one big splash over Lydia's head, so that the soup splattered everywhere. Lydia found her hair plastered to her head, and thick trickles of soup tickling her face as they dribbled down, Lydia being unable to wipe them away. Also, the soup was all over her, soaking through her thin t-shirt and shorts, dribbling down her legs, slipping in and slathering over her breasts. Lydia screwed her eyes shut, and wished she were somewhere, anywhere, else.

"Ah, now we're back to Sofia" smiled Kate.

Sofia was still covered in slimy, congealing rice pudding. Her bare feet remained caked in cold grey slop, which would make it that much harder to guess the next substance.

"Oh my God that is absolutely foul" screamed Sofia as her big feet dipped into what was a bowl of egg yolk. It was incredibly sticky and particularly complemented the pudding already covering her feet.

"Must be eggs!" said Sofia, and hauled her feet out.

"Correct" said Kate somewhat disappointedly. "So, three points so far. Captain Lyndsey, can you make it four?"

After the beans, Lyndsey wasn't much looking forward to seeing what was coming next. In actual fact, her feet again met a sticky substance, and she stirred it with her feet, unsure what to guess.

"Well, it feels like beans again" she said.

"Is that your answer, Lyndsey?" asked Kate

"Uh, I guess so" said Lyndsey.

"Well, I'm afraid it's actually spaghetti hoops" laughed Kate. Unlucky, Lyndsey, but you know what that means."

Lyndsey knew very well, and once her blindfold was off she sat passively as the foul, sticky sauce was poured slowly over her head. Hoops stuck everywhere as the tomato sauce drizzled slowly down her face and began to saturate her hair. The audience cheered, and Lyndsey found that she wasn't enjoying this show anywhere near as much as she had expected.

"Well, three points for the Yellows" said Kate. "Now it's time to swap places, can Michelle bring out the Blue team please!"

The Blue team trooped out and took their seats, with Karen first, Stacey second and again the captain last.

"I can't tell you how many the Yellow team scored" said Kate, as Michelle strapped the girls into their chairs. "But you will get the same food as them, albeit in a different order. Karen first."

Karen as ever was the picture of determination, and plunged her feet into her bowl without hesitation. "Eggs! Definitely eggs!" she exclaimed as she felt the sticky mess cover her bare feet.

"Correct" said Kate. "A good start. Now, Stacey."

Stacey had been dreading this. The little blonde had small, delicate feet and she felt like crying as she slowly, daintily dipped them in the mess.

"Eeeeeeeewwwwwwwww" she squealed as an unidentifiable mess oozed between her little toes. "Eeewww, it's horrible. I don't know."

Stacey couldn't think straight with her feet in this slop and couldn't even venture a guess.

"It's custard, Stacey" said Kate, "and now as a punishment for not guessing correctly, it will be poured right over that cute blonde bob of yours."

Stacey was shown the bowl of cold custard, and the Michelle slowly tipped it onto her head. Stacey screamed as the slop poured onto her, and Michelle made sure to wipe the custard into her hair rather than let it sit on top. Stacey's face was soon obliterated, a yellow, custardy mess as Michelle spread the slop very effectively. Worse, she was not allowed to clean her feet, and was wiggling her toes desperately to get the slop out from between them.

"Still one point for the Blues, now captain Faye, your turn."

Faye was secretly very much looking forward to this. She had frequently wondered what it would feel like to have some horrid mess oozing between her toes, but never quite brought up the courage to try it before now. She sank her feet down into the mess. She thought it was fantastic, so sticky and slimy and it slithered all over her size 6 bare feet.

"Oooh I was going to say baked beans but I don't think it is" she said, slowly stirring the slop with her bare feet. "What else do you get in a sauce like thatspaghetti maybe?"

"Brilliantly worked out, Faye" said Kate, and Faye somewhat reluctantly lifted her feet out of the spaghetti.

Karen was up next, and she plunged her sticky, eggy bare feet into a bowl of tomato soup. Karen took her time, not sure exactly what to make of the cold slop as she splahed her bare feet in it.

"I'm going to say soup" she said.

"Well done Karen, a clean round for you after your gunging in game one. Now, Stacey, your turn."

Stacey, still covered in custard from head to toe, very reluctantly dipped her little feet into a bowl of cold rice pudding.

"Eeeeewww!" she squealed again. It was like custard but their were lumps and it wasn't as thick as it slithered between her toes. It was vile but she forced herself to think, eager to avoid another bucket of slop over her head.

What could it be? Then she remembered her favourite dessert

"Rice pudding!" she shrieked.

"I don't believe it, but well done Stacey" said Kate. "Well, Faye, I can tell you that the Blue team have won the round already, but we still need you to take your final bowl, OK?"

"Sure", grinned Faye, delighted at winning the round, and also at getting another go with her feet.

Faye dipped her bare feet into the bowl, and realised immediately that it was baked beans. As she enjoyed the sensation of the beans slithering over her feet, she had an ideaafter all, they'd already won the round

"No idea" she said.

"Really?" said Kate, surprised. "Not even a guess?

"No, sorry, no idea" smiled Faye.

It was obvious to Kate what was happening here, still, if this crazy girl wanted to volunteer to get a bowl of beans tipped over her head, that was up to her

"Oh nooooo!!" screamed Faye as she saw the big bowl of beans about to go over her head. She had volunteered for it but this was part of her fantasy, she both desperately wanted, and desperately didn't want, that bucket of slop all over her.

Michelle tipped it up, and the audience murmured sympathetically as the horrid, sticky mess was sloshed all over Faye's hair. Of course she couldn't wipe away the tomato sauce and beans that slathered down her face, or the pile on top of her head, or relieve her plastered hair. Streaks of sauce were all down her front, and she was aware of the hardness of her nipples through her thin t-shirt. How incredibly humiliating, Faye thought, a bucket of cold baked beans dumped on her head on national TV. How could she be enjoying it so much?


"Right, let's bring the Yellow team back" said Kate, and Lyndsey, Lydia and Sofia wandered back on stage, each still messy from earlier in the round.

"Well Lyndsey, I'm afraid that the Blues scored four, and thus have won this round as well. So you really need to win the last round to have a realistic shot in the final, and Lyndsey, you get to spin the forfeit wheel again."

This is getting beyond a joke, thought Lyndsey, as she spun the wheel again. This time it landed on 'pie'.

Charlotte approached with a Gunge Show special pie, deeply filled with cold, sloppy custard and topped with a thick layer of whipped cream. Lyndsey, now sticky with drying spaghetti sauce all over her, grimaced as Charlotte smashed the pie into her face. Cream, crust and custard went everywhere, a great slick of yellow custard spread down the front of Lyndsey's t-shirt. Lyndsey wiped the excess cream from her face and wondered if the dignity of her or her salon would ever recover from this experience.

"Time for a break while the girls get ready for round three" said Kate. In the meanwhile, we have our viewers' vote feature. Each week two viewers will ask us to settle a dispute. During the week telephone lines will be open for voting, and the following week one will have the issue settled in her favour, the other will pay a very messy forfeit. It's time for this week's appeals; from Millie and Denise in Sheffield!"

The screen cut to a video of a girl on what appeared to be a student campus. She was a tall girl with long black hair and was dressed in traditional indie clothing, a t-shirt promoting a well-known group, jeans and sneakers.

"Hi guys, My name's Millie. I want to be President of my student Halls of Residence, because I want to make life loads better for all the students here. I want to have some cool gigs, a subsidised bar and a party atmosphere. Unfortunately running against me is a girl called Debs. She's posh, arrogant and just wants to have something to put on her CV. So I want you to vote for me, make me Hall President and gunge that cow Debs! Cheers! Bye!"

The scene then switched to the same background, but this time a different girl was in front of camera. This girl was much shorter, had straw-like short blonde hair and had sunglasses resting on top of her head despite the grey weather. She too was casually dressed, in t-shirt, jeans and sandals.

"Hello. My name is Debs, and I should be Hall President. Millie isn't at all qualified, whereas I have been educated at a well-known private school and am a natural leader. I will reform the Hall so that it is run much more efficiently. I think it would be extremely suitable for you to gunge Millie as she is rather common, it's no surprise she has taken our debate to some 'reality tv' show. Thank you."


"Well then, vote lines are open now and will close at the start of next week's show when both Millie and Debs will be in the studio, and one of them will be sitting in the gunge tank, so get voting!"

Kate gave out the phone numbers to cast votes, and then went to an advert break.


*****


"Welcome back to The Gunge Show. Time for round three of our main game, so please welcome back the two teams!"

The two teams came back out, fresh from showering away the slime from round two. As the arrived on stage they saw that a large pool had been set up on the stage, with what appeared to be a small bar going across and above it.

"This is our pillow fight round. One on one, you will be placed on that bar above our gunge-filled pool. You will have a pillow fight, and the first one to knock her opponent into the gunge wins! Simple! Now, the captains will fight each other last should it come down to a decider. Yellows, please pick who will go first for you."


"Erm, Sofia can go first" said Lyndsey. She knew that Sofia was so desperate to avoid the gunge that she would be a formidable opponent and should get them off to a good start.

Faye had a good think about her choice. Stacey would have no chance against the much taller, stronger Sofia, but this would leave Karen against the much smaller Lydia. She fancied her own chances against Lyndsey, so decided that this would be the best way to go, and would sacrifice Stacey.

"Stacey for us" she said.

Stacey was instructed to climb up one side of the pool, Sofia the other. They were each handed heavy pillows with which to fight. The bar was placed well above the gunge, Sofia was the taller of the two and her feet were still a metre or so above the multicoloured slime below. Absolutely no way was she losing to this waif and getting another sliming, she thought. Sofia slid out onto the bar positively, Stacey on the other hand could see no realistic way of overpowering Sofia.

The result was a foregone conclusion. Sofia smashed Stacey four or five times with her pillow, and despite the blonde having excellent balance there was no way she could withstand the onslaught. She rolled over to the right and plunged with a splash into the gunge below. Stacey surfaced and was covered from head to toe in gunge. The slime was multi-coloured, mainly yellow but with streaks of red and purple. Sofia was already off the bar and keeping as far away from the gunge as she could as a sodden Stacey splashed her way out of the slime pool.


Next up were Karen and Lydia. Given the disparity in size and strength, Lydia was fairly confident that she was heading for a gunging as she stepped up onto the bar. Karen had locked her feet together around the bar and looked very menacing indeed. Lydia felt horribly exposed sitting there on the bar, and offered up no resistance when the fight started. She knew she was going to lose, so she determined to get off that embarrassing perch as soon as possible.

With barely a swing of her pillow, Karen was celebrating as her opponent fell into the gunge. Like Stacey, Lydia surfaced plastered from head to toe in the mess. She clambered out and joined her team, dripping gunge as she went.

"Well, it looks like the captains will play a decider" said Kate. "Would Lyndsey and Faye take their positions please."

Faye looked down at the gunge below her and thought that she would quite fancy a fall into that pool, but of course winning the round was far more important. Lyndsey faced her, knowing that a loss here would make it virtually impossible for them to win the match and stay in the hunt for the holiday.

The fight began and it was an even affair. Both girls landed blows of similar strength, and it became clear that it would come down to balance. Faye was the fitter of the two and the more used to physical activity, and finally this showed. Lyndsey began to slip, and Faye kept up her assault. Lyndsey's head fell facing the gunge, and she could do nothing as she plunged head first into the slime below. Lyndsey screamed. Both in disgust at her horrible gunging but mainly because the holiday was slipping away fast and all of this slime and gunge could be for nothing.

Faye celebrated wildly on the bar, and instead of climbing down she leapt feet first into the waist high gunge pool and waded out. Lyndsey looked at her as if she had lost her mind.

"Well, well, well" mused Kate, "a huge victory for the Blues there and the odds are now stacked against the Yellows in the final. Oh and Lyndsey, don't go just yet, don't forget you've still got to spin the captain's forfeit wheel sweetie!"

Lyndsey glared at Kate's sweet smile but spun the wheel that Charlotte offered her. The pointer stopped squarely on 'eggs'. Charlotte disappeared briefly backstage and swiftly returned with a carton of six eggs. Lyndsey groaned inwardly. Lyndsey was already dripping in gunge from the pool and had no desire to add these eggs to the mess covering her.

Charlotte took the first two eggs out and laid the on the floor in front of Lyndsey.

"Break them with your toes, Lyndsey", the tall blonde ordered.

Lyndsey very reluctantly stretched out her left foot and placed her toes onto the first egg. She pushed down, felt the shell crack and then felt the cold yolk ooze between her toes. Grimacing, she did the same with her right foot, yellow yolk now splattered out over both of her bare feet.

"Four more to go" said Charlotte. "Next two on your head I think."

Without further ado Charlotte slammed an egg down on top of Lyndsey's head. The effect was dimmed somewhat by her already being gunged but the crack of the egg and the sticky feeling of yolk escaping into her hair was still nasty enough for Lyndsey. Charlotte cracked the next egg onto Lyndsey's forehead, making sure that her face was well covered in the sticky mess.

Lastly Charlotte grinned and said "These two are going down the back of your shorts honey."

Lyndsey was open-mouthed in disgust, but knew by now that she had no choice. She resignedly held open the tight elastic of her white shorts and allowed Charlotte to slip the two eggs inside. The shorts were so snug against Lyndsey's skin that the eggs were easily held in place against her bottom.

"Now sit down on the floor" ordered Charlotte.

Lyndsey again had no choice but to obey. She firstly kneeled, then plonked herself hard down on the floor. Both eggs smashed immediately, and Lyndsey shrieked as the eggy mess splashed out and covered her bottom and slipped into places she would rather not have egg yolk dribbling into. Lyndsey stood up, and there were now two bright yellow patches on the white of her shorts, one on each buttock where the eggs had smashed. She could feel, if not see, trickles of yolk escaping her shorts and beginning to trickle slowly down her legs.


"Well", said Kate. "After that, I think the girls will need a good bit of time to prepare for the final round. So after the break we'll be presenting the last of our audience participation games, plus" and her voice quietened somewhat, "the result of Kate's Fates. See you in a couple of minutes."



******


"Hi, and welcome back to the gunge show! Now in our next segment we have a not entirely pleasant surprise for a member of the audience! Do we have aMissRosalie Dupont in the audience tonight?"

Kate new very well that they did, and the studio spotlight glared mercilessly down on a stunned-looking woman on the third row.

"Why don't you come down and join us on stage, Rosalie?"

Rosalie Dupont looked very unsure and nervous but had little choice with the whole studio watching her and cheering. She wandered a little dazed onto the stage. She was short, tanned and very slim, with her light brown hair tied back in a ponytail with two long strands framing her long, thin face. She wore a light white blouse, a brown and white check shirt that finished a shade above her knees, and white sandals.

"Hi" said Kate, putting her right arm around the shorter woman's shoulders. "You would be Rosalie Dupont?"

"Er, yes."

"I know plenty about you, Rosalie. You're thirty four, originally from Montpellier, France but resident for fifteen years in Southampton, where you work as a French teacher at a sixth form college. Right so far?"

"Er, yes," said Rosalie, looking increasingly worried and shifting from foot to foot.

"Well, I suspect you're wondering why we've asked you up onto the stage tonight aren't you, Rosalie?"

"Erm, ye-es" stammered Rosalie, who was getting a sick feeling that she wouldn't be leaving the stage clean.

"Well, I should tell you that this segment of the show is called 'Justice'. We asked members of the public to write in and nominate people who would be especially deserving of our own brand of justice on The Gunge Show; and one of those who wrote in was Becky Cartwright!"

Rosalie's mouth dropped open as, from backstage, a short, pretty blonde girl bounced onto stage. Kate beckoned the girl, wearing a red t-shirt, jeans and trainers, to join them.

"Hi Miss Dupont" smiled the girl.

"Hello Becky" whispered Rosalie unhappily.

"Now Becky" said Kate "firstly, welcome to the show. Secondly, please explain to us a little about why you wrote in to us."

"Sure" said Becky happily. "Miss Dupont here was my French teacher whilst I was at college last year. Anyway, in the summer we had a fete for charity. We had lots of stalls but the main event that everyone was looking forward to was a gunge tank that we'd hired. There was to be a vote, and the climax of the fete would be the vote loser being put in the tank and gunged. There were four people up for the vote; Miss Campbell, the English teacher, Miss Dupont here, Sarah Peters who was hockey team captain, and me as head girl. Anyway, it cost 50p a vote and one the day itself Miss Dupont was way clear, after all no-one likes French! So far clear was she that none of the rest of us even considered the possibility of being gunged, and I had my best summer dress on. When it came to announce the loser though, it was declared a close race and, by one vote, I would be going in the tank. So to cut a long story short I was put in the gunge tank in my best summer dress and bare feet and was gunged in front of half the town, then the other half of town saw me running home covered in gunge as I hadn't brought a change of clothes!

It was in the local paper and everything, and now because I go to University in my home town I'm always the one who gets volunteered to do anything messy for charity. Then a few weeks ago I met Annabel Price in a bar in town. She was the girl responsible for counting the votes. She was drunk and she admitted to me that Miss Dupont bribed her to fix the vote and put me in the tank instead! So when I saw the advert I decided to write in and make sure that Miss Dupont finally gets what's coming to her!"

"Well" said Kate. "That sounds pretty compelling to me. Anything to say in your defence, Rosalie?"

Rosalie shook her head, realising that the game was up.

"Well then, I think it's time to ensure that justice is done."

Kate led Rosalie unwillingly to the single gunge tank that stood in the centre of the stage. Kate held open the Perspex door, and Rosalie slipped off her sandals and stepped inside, taking a seat on the stool. Kate closed the door and locked it.

"Rosalie", said Kate "You have been found guilty of unfairly avoiding the gunge tank and forcing Becky here to take your place. As punishment, you will now be gunged on national television. You will also suffer the same fate as Becky, and will have to travel home covered in gunge."

"No!" shouted Rosalie. She had an hour long journey on public transport to get home.

"Sorry, but our decision is final" smiled Kate. "Michelle, I only think it's right that you pull the chain and get Justice!"

"No! No! Please!" screamed Rosalie, but Becky grinned from ear to ear and yanked the chain as hard as she could.

Green gunge flew out of the tank and completely obliterated a screaming Rosalie. After a few seconds the flow slowed and Rosalie appeared, completely covered in green gunge. The gunge still continued to pour, and the slower flow was finding it's way into her top and inside her skirt. She drummed her green, slimy bare feet on the floor of the tank in disgust at her total humiliation, which was a long way from over.

Once the flow of gunge had stopped Kate opened the door and the poor teacher climbed out, long globules of gunge dripping from her.

"Here's your sandals, Rosalie" said Kate, and the teacher slipped her gungey bare feet into them.

"Enjoy your trip home, I'm sure all the other commuters will, and I hope you've learned your lesson."

The slimed Rosalie trudged off stage, head down, trying to block out the laughter of the audience. She was humiliated beyond her worst nightmares. All that she could hold onto, as she felt strands of cold gunge slip down over her breasts, was that one day, she would get her revenge on Becky Cartwright.

"Thanks Kate, that was brilliant" smiled the cute blonde Becky, and she danced happily off stage.

"Great" said Kate. "Now on to less pleasant matters, for me at any rate. I understand that the votes for Kate's Fates have been counted and verified, and after the final round I will be getting.ewwwwwwmy lovely black boots filled with custard!"

The audience cheered wildly at the thought of the gorgeous blonde presenter having to put her feet into boots full of cold custard.


****


"But first, it's time to see which team gets through to the semi finals, and which will get the losers' forfeit. Please welcome back our two teams in their special final round outfits!"

The yellow team appeared first, led out by Charlotte.

"You'll notice" said Kate "that because it's the final round, our girls are each in their very finest outfits!"

Lydia was first out, in a fabulous white dress with billowing skirts. She wore bright pink lipstick and her hair had been fully cleaned and framed her pretty face perfectly. She wore strappy white high heeled shoes, her bare toes painted pink to match her lipstick.

Next came Sofia, who was thoroughly delighted to at last get a chance to wear something that flattered her figure. She almost forgot her previous gungings as she milked the effect of her tiny figure-hugging black dress. Her skirt barely touched the top of her thighs, long sheer black tights showed off her long legs and her heels emphasised her height even more. Her hair was once more clean and fell in long black curls down beneath her shoulders.

Finally came Lyndsey, in a gorgeous summer dress of white with black dots, straps holding up the dress over her shoulders. The dress fell down to a little below her bottom, and her long legs were bare, with pretty white sandals on her bare feet.

Next came the Blue team. First was Karen, in a tight black dress that showed off her figure perfectly, with complementing black tights and flat black shoes. Karen wasn't terribly used to formalwear though, and gave the impression that she'd prefer to be back in shorts and t-shirt.

Next came Stacey in a light, black dress that hung perfectly on her slim figure and reached down below her knees. She wore black high heels and had painted her toes red. Her hair was cleaned and her little blonde bob was back looking in decent condition.

Lastly came Faye, in a long dark blue number that contrasted well with her dyed red hair. The dress fell right down to her bare ankles and was complemented by strappy blue sandals. She had even allowed a modicum of makeup to be applied, and looked very different from her usual Indie-kid image.


The girls were then taken over to an elaborate contraption set in centre stage. A very large, deep pool of baked beans was the centrepiece. There were three seats above the pool on either side. Above each of these was a tank containing a yellow substance, and a pipe-type mechanism directed at the seat below.

"Here we have our final game" said Kate. "Girls, please take your seats."

The girls were led up and placed into their seats. On the left as viewers looked sat Lydia, Sofia and Lyndsey. On the right were the Blues, Faye, Karen and Stacey on the end. Each found that there feet dangled around a foot above the messy, smelly slop below.

"OK girls" said Kate, "this is how we are going to decide who goes through to the semi finals. Beside each of you, you will find several ropes. Some of these ropes are fake, some are not. You will each pull a rope in turn. If you pull the live rope, you will release a mechanism that will first gunge you in runny custard from above, and then dunk you into the baked beans below. The first team to have all three girls thrown off their seats loses.

Now, the Yellow team lost all three rounds, so will have the following disadvantages. The Blue team each have six ropes, and only one will gunge them. The Yellows have one rope removed for every losing round, and so have only three. The Yellows will need some pretty good luck to see them through! Lydia will go first and we will alternate between the teams. Lydia, when you're ready, pull a rope!"

Lydia in her pretty white dress looked at the three ropes available to her nervously. One would gunge her and throw her into the slop below. She debated briefly, held the one closest to her, screwed up her eyes waiting for the gunge, and pulled. To her amazement, nothing happened. She waited a couple of seconds for the slime to cover her, and when it didn't, she opened her eyes to find Lyndsey clapping and the Blues looking a little worried.

"Great start for Lydia" said Kate, "Now over to Stacey".

Stacey had fully six ropes to pick from. She grabbed one at random and pulled.

To her horror, a flood of custard pumped down onto her pretty hair. She screamed as the runny mess completely covered her, splashing Karen next to her as well. Her beautiful black dress was now bright yellow, and as the flow slowed runny custard trickled slowly down her face.

"Eeeeeeewwwwww!!"

Then, after five seconds to allow her plenty of time to feel the custard gunging, Stacey's chair gave way and she was dunked into the beans below. The little blonde was completely submerged, then re-surfaced, her head a sticky, gooey mess of custard and beans. Stacey was screaming incoherently, she had never felt so disgusting in her life.

"Wow!" said Kate, "perhaps we might have a real upset on the cards! One of the blue team down already. Stacey, you can stay in the pool until the end of the game. Sofia, your turn to pull a rope."

Having seen the mess that was Stacey, Sofia could not have been more reluctant to pull on a rope. She took hold of the middle rope and pulled. To her enormous relief nothing happened.

Karen was next to go, and, to the relief of the Blues, this time the probabilities were in her favour and she remained clean.

Lyndsey was next, and, after much thought, pulled the rope closest to her. After a fleeting silence, custard pumped out onto her head. Lyndsey screamed as the slime splattered all over her, soaking through her white dress. She was made to hang there, a yellow, stick mess for fully ten seconds before her chair gave way and she was thrown into the beans below. Lyndsey felt the beans and sticky sauce cover her, her little summer dress was no protection as the slime seeped into every orifice. Plus the stench of beans mixed with custard made her want to retch. But worst of all was the increased likelihood of losing the game.

Next to go was Faye, who was feeling a bit more settled after seeing the opposition captain in the pool, restoring her team's advantage. She pulled a rope at random, and no custard came down, much to her relief.

"So after round one both teams have one girl in the pool" said Kate. "Next to go is Lydia, with only two ropes to pick from."

Lydia now only had a 50/50 chance. She reached for the rope furthest from her and pulled, only for a deluge of custard to instantly splatter down on her from above. When completely dripping in yellow goo, poor Lydia was made to wait before being dumped into the beans. The young brunette squealed as her chair gave way and she was hurled into the smelly mess. As she surfaced, she spat out the foul tasting mix of custard and beans that had got into her mouth, and she wondered if she wouldn't have been better finding another salon to work at.

Next to go was Sofia. Sofia screwed up her eyes and pulled the rope nearest to her. Amazingly, she stayed clean.
Next up was Karen. She and Faye had worked out that if at least one of them stayed clean here, they would win the match, as Sofia only had one rope left. Karen shut her eyes, and pulled at a rope. Nothing happened. After a second both she and Faye cheered wildly, and even Stacey in the pool of beans below clapped.

"Well, we have our first winners!" exclaimed Kate. "Well done to the Blue team..but we need to complete the formalitiesFaye, your turn."

With nothing on the line Faye rather hoped that the rope she pulled would send her into the mess, but sadly for her she remained clean.

"Sofia" said Kate, "please complete the game by pulling on your rope."

Sofia resignedly gave a very light pull on her rope, knowing full well the fate that awaited her.

"Nooooooo!!" she screamed as the custard hit her from above, the yellow slime flooding over her long black hair, plastering it to her now yellow face. Custard covered and slithered inside her little black dress, and dripped all the way down her tights. After what seemed an age, her chair gave way and with a piercing yell Sofia was dunked into the sticky beans .She raised her head and squealed, wiping as much of the slime from her face as she could.


"Well" said Kate, "that pretty much seals it. The Blue team of Faye, Karen and Stacey have won and will be returning in our semi finals. The Yellow team will be joining me shortly for the losers' forfeit. But first it's time for, er, Kate's Fates."

A curtain was drawn across the stage to hide the technicians removing the bean pool apparatus. In the foreground Charlotte and Michelle came out to join Kate, Charlotte carrying a single stool.

"Have a seat, Kate" said Charlotte.

Kate took a seat on the stool, now feeling pretty nervous. She hadn't felt any kind of mess since her audition and being on national television was a whole different ball game. She knew what she was about to get was miniscule compared to some of the contestants, but she also knew that as host, her gungings would be well remembered.

Kate and Charlotte were joined by Michelle, who was pushing a cart on which rested six cartons of custard.

"As you all know" said Charlotte, "with 56% of the viewers vote, Kate's Fate today is to have her lovely boots filled with custard. Kate, boots off please."

Very reluctantly, Kate pulled off her black leather boots and handed the to Charlotte, leaving her with her long bare legs dangling down the stool. Sitting there in bare feet she started to get an idea of how vulnerable the contestants must feel, and wondered whether she shouldn't be a little less harsh on them.

Kate's boots were placed on the floor in front of her, and each was filled to the very top with three cartons of thick yellow custard.

"Right the, one at a time, pop your feet back in them" smiled Charlotte, who was unashamedly enjoying the main star getting messy.

Kate took the left boot and couldn't stop a groan passing over her face as she saw the custard inside. Kate gathered her resolve, and slid her bare foot into the boot.

"Eeewwwww" she squealed, as she felt the thick custard ooze between her toes. As she pushed her foot fully in, she could feel the custard escaping out of the boot. When the boot was fully on, her foot and lower leg was deeply unpleasantly covered in custard. Worse was that she had to do it again. She pushed her slim right foot into the second boot, and soon found herself sitting in centre stage in boots filled with custard, the yellow mess spilling out of each and pooling on the floor.
After being made to sit there for a minute with the clammy mess pressed against her feet, Kate was told she could take the boots off. She didn't waste any time in doing so, yanking both off in quick succession. Throwing them aside, she looked down to see her legs and bare feet were bright yellow and dripping in custard. She gave her toes a wiggle to try to get rid of some of the excess mess. Kate hadn't enjoyed any of that one little bit, but if that was the price to pay for a career in TV, then so be it.

"Well" she said , "we'll take a break to allow me to clean up, then it's time for the finale, the losers' forfeit!"

****


After the break, Kate strode out to the stage, this time in flip-flops, having vigorously washed every trace of custard out of her legs and feet.

"Welcome back!" she said. "Now it's time to round things up, so first please welcome back our victorious Blue team!"

Faye, Karen and Stacey walked in, smiling and waving, all had been cleaned up and were back in their original blue team outfits.

"A quick word with the captain" said Kate, pulling Faye towards her.

"Faye, in truth you won easily!"

"Yes" said Faye smiling. "We won every round, which was great, it was a bit worrying when Stacey got dumped in the beans back there but yes in the end we did it!"

"Are you looking forward to the semi final, in four weeks time?"

"Of course" grinned Faye. "One step nearer that prize, and of course lots more mess!"

The audience of course cheered along with Faye at this, but Stacey in particular looked less keen, the blonde thinking to herself that the mess was likely to get far worse, the closer they got to the prize.

"One last thing then" said Kate smiling. "How do you fancy helping us slime the losers?"

"Definitely!" laughed Faye, grinning again.

"Right" said Kate, "Bring on the losers!"

Charlotte and Michelle accompanied the losing yellows, Lydia, Sofia and Lyndsey onto the stage. They too were in their original team outfits, but each was looking particularly downcast. Not only had they lost, and all this mess had been for nothing, but God only knew what their forfeit would be.

"Welcome back!" smiled Kate. "Now, girls, it's time for your forfeit."

As Kate spoke, a curtain was drawn back to reveal three sets of wooden pillories. The pillories stood next to each other, each with one large hole in the middle of two smaller ones. Lyndsey, Lydia and Sofia looked on in deep discomfort.

"Before we put you in there" said Kate, "as this is a punishment for losing, you will go in topless!"

"No way!" yelled Sofia. Each of the girls had, after all the mess, long forgotten about the nudity clause in their contracts. Sofia hadn't even read hers.

"Come on" said Kate, "we haven't got all day, girls."

Reluctantly, very reluctantly, the girls began to remove their t-shirts. Lydia pulled hers off first, showing large, soft breasts with large brown areolae. She found herself surprised to find that this wasn't too bad, she knew she had nice breasts, and was rather enjoying the cheers of the audience.

Lyndsey was rather less happy. After all, she ran a respectable business. Now she was expected to take her top off on TV. She pulled her t-shirt off to reveal her own full breasts, furious at herself for not thinking of what might happen if they didn't win the holiday.

Lastly Sofia, who had delayed as long as possible. Surely this was an end to her chances of a decent TV career. Eventually she took her top off, perversely annoyed as her small breasts got far smaller cheers when revealed than those of Lyndsey or Lydia.

The girls, now just wearing their tight shorts, were led into the pillories. Each had to place their wrists into the smaller grooves, and head in the larger one. Then, the pillories were fastened into place, leaving each girl extremely vulnerable.

"Now" said Kate, "You have five full minutes in the pillories. From the front here, Faye, Karen and Stacey will pelt you with the contents of these buckets. Myself, Charlotte and Michelle will have a couple of unseen surprises behind you. OK Blue team, take up your positions, and begin!"

Stacey stood in front of Lydia, Karen in front of Sofia and Faye in front of Lyndsey. Each was both pleased and a little disgusted to see that the buckets they had been given contained rotten tomatoes and rotten eggs. The smell was appalling. Faye seized up a foul-smelling egg and hurled it from no more than six feet away right in to Lyndsey's face.

Lyndsey screamed, the audience cheered and the round was underway. All three of the Yellows soon found that screaming was not an option unless they wanted a mouthful of rotten slop. The stinking mess soon caked the hair and faces of each of them, with no let up in sight.

From the rear, Charlotte had a hose and squirted ice cold water down Lydia's back, legs and feet. The twin sensations were too much for Lydia, who was put through a permanent cycle of screaming and swallowing rotten slop.

Michelle had reached round behind Lyndsey and was rubbing cold ice cream into her large bare breasts. Lyndsey had never felt her nipples so hard, and convinced herself that it was entirely down to the terrible coldness of the ice cream.

Kate pulled back Sofia's pants, and began to pour cold baked beans inside. Sofia kicked her feet out in utter disgust. Stinking egg yolk and sloppy tomatoes slid down her defeated face, whilst buckets of horrid slimy beans were dumped into her pants and were slithering into the worst possible areas.

After what seemed like several years to the punished Yellow team, the deluge stopped and Kate called a halt to proceedings.

The camera slowly zoomed in on each girl in turn, none of who was able to face it directly, both through humiliation and because they couldn't see through the rotten slop they had been pelted with.

"Well, that's it for the first ever episode of the Gunge Show!" said Kate. "As you can see, the rewards are great but so are the punishments! Tune in next week as two more teams risk all this for the chance to win that fantastic holiday!"

As the credits rolled, behind them the viewer could see Charlotte bringing her hose round and cleaning off the slimed girls in a particularly efficient but rather humiliating and cold manner.