You'd only been together for a short while, but he felt like you were hitting it off and he felt comfortable with you so he decided to make a strange request. It was over dinner and he tried his best to make it seem natural and was well prepared to play it off as a joke but for some reason, maybe you liked the guy, maybe it just seemed fun and stupid you agreed. "Sure I wouldn't mind" you replied, not an enthusiastic acceptance but not a rejection either. What took you by surprise though was the immediacy , "tonight, at mine?" and all you could reply at this point was a shaky "okay".

The meal continued for a while longer and the thought of what awaited vanished temporarily from your mind as more regular conversation resumed. Dessert was ordered and you could've sworn you saw a slight smirk and a glimmer in his eye when he ordered his and glanced over in your direction, the implication there and your mind began to panic a little in nervous anticipation of what the night still had in store.

He paid for the meal and held your hand as your walked to the taxi rank. Butterflies fluttered away in your stomach as you thought about what might happen in the next few hours. You hadn't seen his place yet, and he hadn't been to yours, so this alone was a big step but at the same time it felt right. He unlocked the door and offered to take your coat as you stepped inside. The place seemed nice, spacious and you found a place on the sofa to sit and relax while he disappeared into the kitchen for a moment. You hear cupboards being opened, the clinking of glass and a few more unfamiliar sounds.

When he returns to the living room he hands you a glass of wine, he has a rum and coke for himself and then all of a sudden on the arm of the sofa he places 3 pies.

A romantic movie is put on and you begin to cuddle up on the couch, a couple more drinks are shared to ease any remaining tension. You feel his fingers on your sides, caressing your stomach, sliding over your nipples before resting on the back of your head for a deep kiss.
"so do you think you're ready?" he asks and it takes you a second to shake off the cobwebs and come back to reality, the pies, he's talking about the pies, why did you agree to this? Butterflies are fluttering about in your stomach as you shyly nod your head "uh huh, I guess so"

He kisses you a few more times, you feel his hand over your heart feeling how fast its beating as nerves threaten to overwhelm you, but no, you'll be brave, the alcohol is helping a little and before you realise, he's holding one of them in front of you, just below your nose. You can smell the cream, you can see how sloppy it is, you worry what it might do to your hair, your makeup, your outfit. But no, he wants this, you can see the excitement in his eyes.

You close yours in anticipation and suddenly your nose feels cold and wet, he just dabbed it on your nose and heh, it tickles, your nose twitches as you try to scratch it, remove the cream from it without removing your hands from your lap as they nervously still twiddle with the hem of your skirt

"Hey I thought you were going to" is all you can get out before a scream escapes your lips and is muffled by cream, pastry and the tin as your world becomes white, you've been pied.