Last night after texting with Jamie I immediately went to the grocery store and stocked up. It had always been our secret thing getting messy. It was just for fun now, of course, and nothing that needed to be hidden necessarily. But it was kind of a weird thing to do, and we didn't want to draw any looks by talking openly about it unless we knew the audience would be receptive (something that we never knew, hence the secret).

A little background, I guess. We dated for a long time something like eight years, and broke up relatively amicably when we grew up and realized we didn't have the same long term goals. Nothing personal, but still a painful change with anger and resentment. But we'd been over that for many years now and our history made our friendship ironclad.

It had been a few years since our last time getting messy, and I felt that the time was ripe. So when I invited Jamie over to use the pool tomorrow, I planned a little surprise. I let about 20 tubs of Cool Whip defrost overnight and spent some time this morning transferring the fluffy stuff into paper pie plates. I also got a couple bottles of chocolate syrup, and a special surprise that I hoped wouldn't be too over-the-top, even for us.

At half past noon, I was in the storage area on the lower floor of my split-level house. I had placed all of the pies in the fridge for safe-keeping, stored the chocolate nearby, and hid the surprise. In the center of the room, I had blown up a large inflatable pool and loveseat which, along with the walls and floor, were covered in plastic sheeting, something that I've gotten incredibly adept at setting up over the years. Cleanup will be a breeze, just the way I like it. And the room also had direct access to the backyard to hose off.

I exited the storage area, closed the door, and made my way upstairs to the kitchen to have a quick bite before Jamie was supposed to arrive at 1.

At 12:55, I heard car doors slamming shut, so I assumed that Jamie must have arrived, gotten her bag from the backseat, and would be ringing the doorbell momentarily. My heart rate skyrocketed. It didn't matter how many times we did this it was always nerve-racking to start, but always became good fun after the first mess was thrown or smeared. I went down the half-flight of stairs to the landing and opened the door to meet her. When I opened the door, I was terrified to see that she wasn't alone

"Heyyyy," Jamie waved by swinging her tote bag toward me. "I hope you don't mind Bugs has been staying with me the past few days and I invited her along".

Jamie's younger sister, Rebecca, ubiquitously known as Bugs, threw up gang signs. "Yo."

"Hey, yeah, of course," I stammered. "The more, the merrier and all that stuff." This was not an ideal situation.

I closed the door behind them and they made their way upstairs to the living room.

"Great day to swim! Thanks for the invite," smiled Jamie. I nodded.

"Yeah, sorry to gate crash," Bugs said. "Jamie figured it wouldn't be a big deal."

"Not at all," I lied. "Do you guys want a drink? There's beer, lemonade, water Help yourselves."

"I'll grab a beer on our way out. I'm going to go get changed, actually," said Bugs, standing up.

"Second door on the right," I pointed down the hallway, and started stepping toward Jamie as soon as Bugs was out of view. "Slight problem. I Set up a messy surprise for us. I was going to spring it on you when you got here, but we can't do that with Bugs here."

"Oh, shit. Sorry, I should've asked before bringing her," Jamie looked mortified. "Can we do it another time?"

"It's already set up. It'll go bad if we don't use it today," I wasn't entirely sure that was true, but I also wasn't trying to have dozens of pies in my beer fridge indefinitely.

"Hmm, let me think," Jamie looked around the room, her eyebrows furrowed. The stress of the immediate situation didn't prevent me from observing that she looked cute today. She was a bit on the shorter side, and very curvy. She had a round face and long dark brown hair that had streaks of purple, her favorite color. "I could try to come up with some excuse to take us home, and then I could say I've got to do errands and come back?"

"Suspicious, but it could work," I nodded slowly. "We could just not do it, too."

"No way," she responded. "It's been forever. And you set it all up. We'll make it happen."

"Set all what up?" Bugs had just walked back into the room. She had changed into a dark green two-piece. I could remember her being 12, and hating me on principle for dating her older sister. She had grown into a beautiful woman over the last 15 years, and resembled her sister exactly in almost every way except that her hair was lighter and she was less curvy.

"Nothing," Jamie answered quickly, trying to sound unperturbed. "Something about Renn Faire."

"No, you were talking about something happening now," Bugs looked at us suspiciously. "I heard you. Out with it!"

My mind raced and I looked over at Jamie, who opened and closed her mouth repeatedly. I couldn't think of a good explanation and knew I'd just back us into a corner with any lie I spun. Bugs was cool, and I didn't think she'd make fun of us or make it weird. "Just tell her. It'll be fine," I said to Jamie, shaking my head.

Jamie made a resigned face.

"Are you guys fucking again?" Bugs blurted out.

"No!" Jamie and I answered in unison, hands raised. Jamie added, "And I'm fairly sure it wouldn't be your business if we were! Okay, so"

"I'll explain," I interrupted. Bugs looked back and forth between us. "Back when we were"

"Fucking," Bugs interjected.

"Dating," I gave her a look. "One day, we got talking about things we always wanted to do, but never had the opportunity, or it was too embarrassing to bring up with people."

"This sounds like kink," Bugs interrupted again. I sucked my teeth, but luckily Jamie saved me:

"It's just something fun that we like to do, but it's kind of weird so we don't announce it to people," Jamie explained.

"We both always thought it looked fun to get messy. Like on those old Nickelodeon shows where people got pied and slimed," I tried to explain. "So one day we decided to do it together to see what it was like."

"And it was a lot of fun once we worked out some of the kinks," Jamie continued, immediately regretting the use of the word'kinks' as Bugs snorted. "So it became kind of a tradition that lasted the whole time we were together. And after we broke up, once our friendship was patched up, we sort of started doing it again once in a while because we missed it."

Bugs's face was unreadable. She looked at us with an air of amusement, but I wasn't sure whether it was benevolent. She remained silent for a few more moments. "So," she started, clearly trying to formulate a response. "What exactly is happening here? Like, right now?"

"I don't actually know, yet," Jamie shrugged. "I only just found out that it was meant to be a surprise for me, but that was before you showed up with me. I don't want to cancel it, though. It's a lot of work to set one of these up. Now that know you about it, I guess it's a question of whether you would like to go home and I can come back, or you can go out and swim and we'll join you when we're done."

Bugs thought for a few moments. "You guys are fuckin' weirdos. But I like it. You do you, and I'll be laying by the pool. And I want to hear some more details afterward."

Bugs stood up, shaking her head, and walked into the kitchen to get a beer from the fridge. That went much better than expected, I thought. Jamie also looked relieved, visibly exhaling. Bugs opened up the back door and stepped outside. "Have fun, you crazy kids." The door closed.

Jamie smiled crookedly. "Oh my God, that was so embarrassing."

"Yeah, but she took it well."

"I figured she would. I've thought about telling her a bunch of times, but it didn't seem necessary. She's into some actual kinky shit, so she's got no room to judge things that we do for fun."

I actually snorted. That was a truly disturbing thought.

"So, what are we doing? What are we using" Jamie asked, sitting up. The calmness with which she asked this was testament to how many times we'd gotten messy together with varying supplies. From mountains of shaving cream, to paint, to buckets of chocolate pudding, giant sheet cakes; once we even ventured into my unplanted garden and got covered in mud together. There were also a whole range of methods we'd used over the years. We'd had free-for-all food fights, dice-based games, sessions where we played rock-paper-scissors and the winner just got the loser messy the whole time.

My all time favorite had been on New Years Eve one year when we were still dating. At the stroke of midnight, we were in our undies, covering each other in Cool Whip and chocolate syrup. Those had been my go-to supplies since then.

"There's Cool Whip pies, chocolate syrup, and a special surprise! I have a game planned," I said. "Let's get changed, and I'll explain when we're down there."

We disappeared into separate rooms to get into swimsuits. I was ready first, and pulled two beers from the fridge. When Jamie got out of the bathroom I handed one to her. She had braided her hair and was wearing a lavender one-piece that came to a skirt at the bottom. She was looking fitter than the last time I'd seen her.

"Have you lost weight?" I asked.

"Yeah, I've been trying," she smiled at the compliment. "I've still got a good 20 pounds to go, though."

"You look great just like this," I smiled, and nodded. "As always." I took a few sips of beer. "So, I was intending to play it cool when you got here, let you change into your suit, and then spring this on you as we walked outside to the pool."

"That would've been fun!" Jamie looked a little disappointed. "Maybe I'll surprise you next time. Less likely to backfire."

I would love that. I've always set these up, even when we were dating. Sometimes it was my idea, sometimes it was hers, but I always did the legwork.

"Follow me at your peril," I beckoned and I headed toward the stairs. At the bottom of the stairs, I took the immediate right turn into the storage area.

The setup was mostly familiar to Jamie, so it didn't elicit much of a response. She spotted the inflatable loveseat underneath the plastic sheeting. "So it looks like we're taking turns, as opposed to a free-for-all food fight?"

I nodded and opened the fridge door to reveal the pies I had put together that morning. Jamie's eyes lit up and she giggled. "Nice!"

"And" I pulled out bottles of chocolate syrup and placed them on the floor of the pool. Jamie nodded approval.

"You mentioned a special surprise?" Jamie asked.

"I did, and it's a secret. You'll find out when it happens! I promise you'll like it." This was something I'd never done. Everything was always laid out on the table beforehand.

At that moment, the kitchen door opened again and we heard Bugs rummaging through the fridge for more beer. "You guys decent down there?" she hollered.

"Yes!" Jamie replied. We looked up at the ceiling as though we could see Bugs above us.

We heard footsteps on the stairs and looked at each other and the setup and made concerned faces.

Bugs reached the bottom of the stairs and stood in the doorway. "You guys aren't messy!"

"We just got down here a moment ago and I was just showing Jamie what we're working with," I explained. Bugs looked past me to the open fridge and saw the pies.

"Ho-ly shit!" she said, very loudly. "That's a lot!"

"Standard practice, really," I said with a smile.

"When we said messy, we meant messy," Jamie added with a small laugh.

"I need to see this," Bugs demanded.

Jamie and I looked at each other again. I shrugged and shook my head. Jamie exhaled, and lamented, "What are we going to do, say 'no'? It's going to be a minute. I still don't know what the plan is."

"What's to plan? You guys have a ton of pies Aren't you just going to throw them at each other?"

"I was telling Jamie a few minutes ago, I have a game planned," I explained. "Let's move these out of the fridge and put them on the plastic so we don't have to leave the covered area to get them."

Jamie and I started moving them, two-by-two. Bugs grabbed a few as well. "These are heavy! Doesn't it hurt to get hit with one?"

"I mean we're not clotheslining each other. It's like getting hit in a pillow fight, but the pillows stick to you! Okay, so the plan is to play a game called Higher-or-Lower," I said, placing down two of the pies. "The rules are simple: We have a 20-sided die, and we roll a number to start. Say it's '8'. Whoever goes first has to guess whether the number they will roll will be higher or lower than 8. If they guess right, nothing happens. If they guess wrong, they have a seat here and get a pie."

Jamie smiled at the simplicity. Bugs was quick: "What if you also rolled an 8? That's not higher or lower."

"With an S20, that's rare. But that's where these come in," I answered, lifting a previously-hidden bottle of chocolate syrup.

Bugs's eyes opened wide. "Okay, so messy messy. Got it. This will be fun to watch."

"And apparently," Jamie added, "there's a secret surprise? That's a new one for me."

"Well, I was thinking games of chance can sometimes end up one-sided. So to alleviate that," I smiled at Jamie. "Whoever is the least messy when the pies are gone, gets the secret surprise! And if any of the chocolate syrups are left, they'll get those too, I guess."

Jamie laughed nervously. Bugs was in shock at the sheer volume of mess. She probably thought we were talking about a couple cans of whipped cream upstairs. She took a few steps back as though she might get something on her before mine and Jamie's game had even started.

"You're welcome to leave, if you'd like," suggested Jamie, clearly hoping she would.

"Oh, no, I think I'll stay," Bugs said cheerfully. "I want to see you get pied!"

Jamie exhaled. I think she felt like Bugs wanted to try to ruin this. I shared that fear as well, though I didn't think she was deliberately trying to ruin anything. It just seemed likely to happen by accident. No one had ever been with us getting messy before, so it was an uncomfortable situation and I felt like I should say something.

"Just to be clear, Bugs. This is something we've always done in private, it's kind of intimate, for lack of a better word. Not in a sexy way, but it's kind of weird for us to have you here. You don't have to leave, but if you have any negative comments, please don't yuck our yum as the kids say these days."

"You injure me," she clapped her hand over her heart.

I turned my back to Bugs to face Jamie. I mouthed "It'll be fine." Jamie shrugged and seemed resigned. When I got closer to her, I whispered "I really don't think she'll make a big deal. She might give us a hard time, but I'm sure she won't blab about it."

Jamie nodded. "Let's just start and see what happens."

Bugs had found a folding chair and sat next to the doorway with legs and arms crossed with a familiar look of amusement.

"Starting number is" I dropped the die on the pool floor. "12. So, lady's first. Jamie guesses whether she'll roll higher or lower than 12, and then rolls."

"Lower," Jamie said, and dropped the die. It was a 7.

"Correct, so nothing happens, and it's my turn to guess based on 7 and roll. Higher." I rolled a 9. That was close.

"Boring!" jeered Bugs.

"Chances are you'll guess right a lot of the time, unless you have a middle number like 9, 10, or 11," I explained, handing the die to Jamie. "The anticipation is part of what makes it fun."

Jamie called "higher" and rolled a 14. I picked up the die as Bugs mimicked yawning.

"Lower," I called. I rolled an 18.

Jamie giggled. "First blood!" She picked up a pie. "Are we throwing, smushing, or what?"

"It's dealer's choice," I responded, sitting nervously on my hands in the loveseat, feeling Bugs stare at me. She had stood up and moved closer to get a better view. "I just have to take whatever I'm given and not move until she's done," I explained for Bugs's benefit.

Jamie took a step back to attempt a throw. We knew not to throw too hard or it could hurt or splatter really far, so she tossed the pie and it thudded against the bottom half of my face and fell onto my chest. I gasped from the sudden cold. Jamie reached over and pulled the plate off of my chest and placed it on my head. She let out a genuine laugh, but it was a bit more subdued than I was used to. She wasn't having as much fun because Bugs was watching, and I felt guilty. The surprise idea was fun, but I should've warned her ahead of time for logistics

Bugs stood to the side with her hand on her mouth. "You guys are fuckin' crazy."

"Quite possibly!" I responded as I stood up, great globs of Cool Whip falling into the loveseat and onto the floor. "Your turn to roll." I reminded Jamie.

"Oh, yeah. Uh, lower, for sure." And it was a 4. The die came to me.

"Higher." It was a 9.

"Higher," guessed Jamie. She rolled an 8 and did a nervous dance as she moved toward the loveseat. She sat down slowly, trying to avoid the remnants of my pie, but it was impossible. She grimaced from the cold on the back of her thighs.

"You guys like doing this? I mean, you look scared, Jamie!" Bugs asked.

"I'm nervous," Jamie said a bit impatiently. "I know I'm not going to get hurt. This is a safe place for me to have fun. But it's still hard to start, even after doing it all these times."

Bugs nodded, understanding.

I picked up my pie and stepped closer to Jamie. I looked over at Bugs briefly and she was watching intently. I decided to try to lighten the mood. "How should I do it?" I asked Bugs. Jamie glanced at me and saw that I was trying to help her, Jamie, feel less uncomfortable by not having Bugs just sitting there staring.

Bugs was taken aback. "Oh. Uh," she fidgeted. "I don't know" She looked like a deer in headlights from being put on the spot, but a grin started to form. "Drop it on her head!"

I stepped behind Jamie, who tilted her head back to see what I was doing. I placed a finger on the top of her head and redirected it to face forward. She sat on her hands and visibly tensed. "We sit on our hands when it's our turn. A while back we decided it's best to have kind of a 'safe action'. Not that anything dangerous is going on, but if something gets in our eyes or whatever and we need a minute, we pull our hands out as a signal." I had honestly forgotten about that. We'd never needed it. I held the pie over her and let gravity do the work. It splattered in her hair and shoulders, and onto my own feet. She shivered and giggled.

"It's been entirely too long," she visibly relaxed. And continued chuckling as she played with drops of Cool Whip that were sliding down her front.

Bugs, meanwhile, was bent over laughing silently, or I would have noticed her sooner. She snorted and fanned herself. "Oh my God, you guys were always the best." She stood up and started making her way out the door still cackling. "I'm going to grab another beer and I'll be back. Carry on."

Her footsteps got fainter and I looked over at Jamie. "Seems to be going alright?"

"Yeah, I guess," Jamie shrugged. "I still wish she'd leave, but it's whatever at this point." She handed me the die.

"What was the number?"

"8."

"Ah, yeah. Uh, higher." I rolled a 14.

"Lower." Jamie rolled a 1.

"Ooh, good one! Higher," I rolled a 7.

"Higher." Jamie rolled a 12.

Bugs walked back in, holding a fresh beer. "Where are we?"

"Still rolling. Nothing else has happened," Jamie answered. Looking at me and herself and chuckling, she added "Obviously, I guess."

I took the die. "Lower," and rolled a 3.

"I want to have a roll." Bugs had set her beer down and stood with her tongue between her teeth. I wasn't sure how to react. It would definitely be fun to add another person to the game it had always just been the two of us. But I was concerned that Jamie would see it as an encroachment. I was going to have to tread carefully to make sure that Jamie knew that this was still our thing, and nothing would change that.

"Uh," I looked at Jamie. She looked skeptical, but didn't signal me to say 'no'. "You sure? This are pretty advanced getting-messy activities here. We just started, so this is nothing."

"You guys look like you're having fun. It's weird, but I like weird. I swear I'm not trying to be a third wheel or anything," she spoke quickly. "I just want to see what it's like. It must be pretty okay if you keep coming back for more after all of these years."

I couldn't argue with that. I held out an arm to help Bugs over the edge of the pool, and handed her the die. She slipped slightly as she stepped in a rogue glob of Cool Whip and let out a gasp.

"Oh my God, that's cold."

"You'll get used to it," Jamie and I said together and shared a glance.

"Okay. 3, right? Higher," Bugs said, and shook the die for a very long time. She released and it landed on 17.

"You survived a round. Congratulations," I smiled. Bugs stood there not knowing what to do with her hands.

Jamie picked up the die. "If there are three of us, how do we know who does the pieing when someone loses?"

I thought for a moment. That was not something we'd ever had to think about. "I guess we just go in a circle, and it's the person who rolled previously? Or we could let the victim choose? Or let the throwers decide?" I scratched my chin, getting Cool Whip in my fingers.

"I vote for 'let the throwers choose amongst themselves'. Otherwise it'll always be the same person, and that's less exciting" Jamie held up her hand. I agreed immediately, and Bugs followed suit a second later. With everyone in agreement, Jamie started shaking the die. "Lower."

She rolled a 12. I guessed lower, but rolled a 15. "Me again!" I sighed excessively. I reached over the edge of the pool and picked up the closest pie and held it out for Jamie or Bugs to take.

"Can I do it?" Bugs asked, stepping forward.

It was barely noticeable, but for half of a second Jamie looked like someone just pissed on a hug that really held the room together. But she seemed to get over it and took a step back. Bugs took the pie from my hand and giggled as she positioned herself behind me, as I had just done to her sister.

"Count me off, sister!" she cheered.

Jamie laughed shortly. This was weird enough for me, but I couldn't imagine how she felt about her sister participating in something sacred to us. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" Jamie counted down, and Bugs reached from as far away as she could manage and smashed the pie on my head, completely avoiding getting any on herself in the process. Impressive, I guess?

Bugs put her hands to her mouth again and laughed maniacally as she returned to where Jamie stood, with a broad smile. "Nicely done," Jamie commented. I sat for a moment enjoying the tickling sensation of the cream dripping down my neck and shoulders, then got up and took my place. It was Bugs's roll again.

"Lower," and she rolled a 6.

"Higher," and Jamie rolled a 15.

"Lower," and I rolled a 9.

"Higher," and Bugs also rolled a 9. Jamie and I both grinned. "Wait, what does that mean again? I don't remember the rules!"

I looked at Jamie and gave her the nod. It was only right that she get the honors. "Just have a seat. You'll learn the intricacies as we go," Jamie indicated the Cool Whip-marked inflatable loveseat.

Bugs walked timidly and sat slowly, also trying to avoid sitting on the cold debris. She scraped it onto the floor with her hand as best as she could and sat down. She looked around to see what was happening as Jamie picked up one of the bottles of chocolate syrup and opened the lid. Bugs's eyes went very wide, but she didn't protest.

I stood off to the side. "Remember, you can't try to dodge it. You have to stay still!" I reminded her.

She nodded silently and, remembering what Jamie had done, sat on her hands and shook her hair out of her face.

Jamie stepped forward, and I stepped out of the way.

Bugs squeezed her eyes and mouth shut, and Jamie immediately started unloading the entire bottle of chocolate syrup. Starting at Bugs's feet, she sprayed in zigzags up and down Bugs's whole body. I watched in slow motion, what probably took 10 seconds seemed to last for minutes as line upon line of chocolatey goodness coated Bugs's legs, thighs, stomach, chest, and face, and then back down again. At first Bugs stayed deathly still, but as the chocolate reached her belly and then her chest, dripping down into her bathing suit top, she began to scream. But she never removed her hands from underneath, so we knew they weren't screams to stop.

When the bottle was empty, Bugs opened her eyes and her mouth hung open. It took a few seconds for her to take everything in before she started guffawing and taking tastes of chocolate from various parts of her body.

Bugs stood up and walked over to Jamie and wrapped her in a tight embrace and rubbed herself all over the sister. Jamie groaned. "This is my new favorite thing. You guys SUCK for hiding this for like 15 years!"

I shrugged and raised my palms.

"Well, you were a kid when we first started doing this, for starters," Jamie said. "And while the vast majority of the time it was just for fun, like this it could get a little spicy sometimes, so that would've been weird."

I felt my face turn scarlett as Bugs's gaze pierced me, as though to say you naughty bastard, what did you do to my sister?. She shook it off, luckily. "I can see how that's an easy leap. Let's keep things PG-13, for my sake I don't want to get grossed out thinking about the two of you."

"That won't be a problem," I assured her. "No offense," I added quickly to Jamie.

"None taken," Jamie knew that was a conversation we'd had enough times that it was safely dead. "It's my turn."

Jamie lost twice in a row, and Bugs and I took turns pieing her. I took the first one, having her sit forward on the seat and I smeared a pie down her back, eliciting shrieks from the cold from Jamie, and shrieks of laughter from Bugs. Bugs took the next one and pied Jamie in the chest and made a big deal about rubbing it in. I'd wanted to do that many times since we stopped dating, but didn't because I didn't want to do anything inappropriate.

Several rounds went by without anyone losing, until I finally did and Jamie took her revenge, pieing me on the lower back and sliding it up my spine.

Bugs earned her first pie immediately after and Jamie deferred to me, since she'd gotten to douse Bugs in chocolate syrup. I opted to go for the classic pie-in-the-face, but stood behind her so that she wouldn't see it coming. When I peeled away the plate, she was swallowing a mouthful of Cool Whip and giggling intensely. "I think I liked the chocolate better," she admitted, standing up. "Lasted longer."

Jamie called "lower" and rolled a 4, which was a correct guess.

I called "higher" and rolled a 7.

Bugs called "higher" and rolled a 17.

Jamie correctly guessed "lower" for her 6.

I guessed "higher" and earned myself the second and final bottle of chocolate. I took it like a champ as Jamie used the same zigzag attack as she had with Bugs.

Bugs lost immediately after and after much deliberation, Jamie opted for simple revenge. Bugs sat on her hands and held up her chin and closed her eyes. Jamie stepped to Bugs's side, and planted the pie with a satisfying splat onto Bugs's left boob, and then smeared in back on forth causing her whole chest to jiggle. I felt like I should've looked away, but I absolutely did not.

Jamie lost next, and Bugs quickly whispered in my ear as Jamie started to make her way to the chair.

"Hang on," I said, picking up a pie. We were about halfway through them at this point and already very well covered.

I gave her a quick smile and placed the pie on the couch. "Have a seat, please," I instructed with a stupid grin. I'm not sure what reaction I expected, but the look I got reminded me of the old days, when things started to get a bit spicy.

"This is your doing?" she asked Bugs.

"Only because I know he's too much of a gentleman to do it otherwise," Bugs crossed her arms and nodded toward the couch. Jamie rolled her eyes and looked at me.

"I mean, yeah, that's pretty accurate," I admitted.

"I'll remember you said that," she quipped, and I knew she would. "Just to be clear, we're all friends here, and we don't get handsy. However," she tilted her head, "there are only so many places you can pie someone so it's inevitable to get creatin places in a free-for-all. If there is a plate between your hand and the body part, I think it's probably okay."

I wish I'd known that all these years

She backed up to the couch and death-stared me as she lowered herself onto the small mountain of whipped cream, flattening it and causing it to ooze out from underneath in every direction. Her mouth opened just slightly and she exhaled sharply. She closed her eyes and swallowed, and then rubbed her ass into the pie giggling.

"Oh my," commented Bugs, not laughing but still amused. "I think that qualifies as rated-R."

I didn't say anything. I was worried that a line may have been crossed that I didn't want to cross. Jamie opened her eyes and gave a look that could kill to Bugs, who shielded her eyes. Jamie turned to me and her face softened and then I saw a smirk. "You'll get yours." She stood up, plate stuck to her butt. Bugs reached over to pull it off as Jamie walked and everyone laughed.

It was my turn to roll now, and I correctly guess "higher" with my 13.

Bugs guessed "lower" and rolled a 2.

Jamie guessed "higher" and rolled a 7.

I guessed higher and rolled a 7. Another repeat! But the chocolate syrup was gone.

Jamie offered up, "This calls for improvisation." She picked up two pies and handed one to Bugs. "Have a seat, sir." I obeyed. "You go behind," she said to Bugs. Bugs hopped into place and Jamie stood a few steps in front of me. I was too focused on what Jamie might do that I didn't prepare myself and Bugs gave me a really good pie-in-the-face, complete with pulling the plate up onto the top of my head. My eyes still closed, I swallowed a bit of whipped cream so I could open my mouth and breathe, and then immediately felt cold, cream-filled hands running up and down both of my legs and then my feet, coating them.

I was not used to having my feet touched and it tickled a lot. Feet (mine or anyone else's) don't do it for me in a sexual way, and Jamie knew that. She was just trying to get me to squirm. I unintentionally pulled my hands out from underneath me, but remembering what that meant, I stuffed them back where they were.

"You're done. Relax," she laughed at me. "Don't slip when you stand up."

That was easier said than done. I had Bugs pass me one of the towels we kept nearby so I could wipe the bottom of my feet.

After that, we had a long stretch with no one losing. I looked over at Jamie and gave her a little nod. "I think it's time to move onto Part 2."

"Part 2?" Bugs looked alarmed. "What's Part 2? This wasn't in the rules either!"

Jamie straightened up. "It's when we get far enough into one of these sessions that rules have a tendency to break down, and so we start to make new rules. For example," she picked up two pies and handed one to Bugs and I. Then she picked up another one for herself. "Since there's never been three of us, we should do something that can only be fun with more than two people. Everyone has a pie. We'll go in the same order we've been rolling, and we get to pie whoever we want, wherever we want!"

That meant Bugs was first. "Alright, this can be fun," she said slowly as she looked back and forth between Jamie and I, who were standing next to each other a few times. I was almost certain she would go for Jamie.

Bugs seemed to have an ah-ha moment, and maneuvered herself behind Jamie and I. She was getting good at this already.

Sure enough, a few seconds later I saw Bugs swing her arm around Jamie and press the pie deep into her chest again, then pull it off and rub the leftovers in Jamie's face.

"Agh!" Jamie screamed. "That's not fair!"

"Those are your rules!" Bugs held up a finger. "You just have to take it," she lifted another finger, "we're all friends here, so anywhere is okay if there's a plate in between!"

"That was mostly meant for people of the opposite sex, but fine. I believe it's my turn now." Bugs walked back around Jamie and I to return to her spot in our circle, but as she passed, Jamie smashed the pie into her sister's ass, swirled it around a few times and smacked it for good measure.

Bugs sniggered. "I guess I had that coming. You enjoying this?"

She was talking to me. My mouth was open and I had a very stupid grin on my face. "As a matter of fact, I am." There was no point denying it. They both shook their heads at me as though to say Ugh, men.

That left me to choose my target. It was a genuinely hard decision, or at least I was making it into one. Sometimes the best decision is to let someone else decide. "Who wants me to pie them?" I asked. There were at least five or six pies left so it's not like any of us were done.

Bugs's hand shot up first, followed by Jamie's a second later.

"Why should I pie you instead of Jamie, Bugs?"

"Because it's my first time and probably my last since this is you-all's thing and I'm the third wheel. She's gotten hundreds of them over the years and I've gotten like three."

"Okay," that was actually pretty good. "Why should I pie you instead of Bugs, Jamie?"

"Because if you choose my sister over me right now, you might not be pieing me again ever." She was like 64% serious.

"Jesus, that escalated quickly," I scratched my neck. "Okay"

I rounded on them, and went behind them like Bugs had done to Jamie and I. The solution was obvious I picked up a second pie from behind them, and when I got back in front of them they didn't even notice.

I pied them both in the face at the same time, or tried to at least. I got Jamie good because she hardly reacted. Bugs jumped backward slightly and it ended up on her mouth, neck, and upper chest.

We grabbed three more pies, and we agreed that Bugs should choose the next activity. She was pretty quick to decide. "Everyone should pie themselves!"

"In the face?" asked Jamie.

"Wherever, I guess. We've all got a pretty good amount on our faces," Bugs reasoned.

"All together?" I asked.

"No, one at a time," Bugs said, "so we can see each other. I'll go first! Umm." She considered what to do. "This looked kinda fun, actually."

To me and Jamie's surprise, Bugs set her pie down on the loveseat. Rather than the slow, cautious way that Jamie sat, Bugs practically jumped onto the inflatable seat and bounced several times as though it were a trampoline, repeatedly smashing the pie into her cheeks. When she stopped bouncing she leaned forward and grabbed her knees, laughing hysterically. "That felt so weird. And I think I got some in my whatnots"

"That's more than we need to know," Jamie said, grimacing. It was her turn now. She looked down at herself and considered. "The only part of me that's still relatively clean is my legs." She scooted onto the loveseat with Bugs and dumped the pie into her own lap. She buried her hands on the pile and coated her legs as though with skin lotion. "This feels really soothing, actually. You're lucky you got this treatment earlier," she said to me.

I blushed a little bit. It was my turn next. Between the chocolate earlier and everything since I didn't have a lot of clean spots either. "You're the only one who hasn't gotten a butt pie," pointed out Bugs.

"Do I really need one?" I asked.

"Yes, come here," said Jamie beckoning. "I'll do you good, give it here." I begrudgingly handed it over and playfully stuck my ass out towards her, but then I had a thought, and started to turn towards her. "Actually" But she was ahead swinging and, because I moved, pressed it directly onto my man-parts.

paused for dramatic effect. Jamie's eyes went wide. If I could've seen it under the mess, I'm sure her face was red.

"Whoopsies" said Bugs loudly, punctuated with chuckles and elbowing Jamie in the rib.

"Relax, guys," I said, laughing. It really wasn't a big deal. More scandalous things had certainly occurred over the years. "We're all friends here."

There were three pies left. I started thinking about the special surprise, which I doubted either of the two of them remembered. I wasn't sure how we'd decide who got it. We were all pretty much equally covered. Jamie didn't get one of the chocolate syrups, but she got more pies than anyone else.

It was also my turn to decide what we would do with the last pies. Ideally it would be something to help decide who the recipient of the final surprise would be.

There was only one thing to do: Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock.

"You guys remember how to play three-way RPSLS?" I asked, already knowing the answers.

"Yeah."

"Duh."

"Each time there's a winner, they get pied," I said. "In the face!" I quickly added and shielded my unmentionables, earning a weak laugh from Jamie and an "buzzkill" from Bugs.

Everyone circled up. "Rock, paper scissors, lizard, Spock!"

Jamie and I both threw 'lizard', and Bugs threw 'rock'.

"Rock crushes lizard, so Bugs wins the pie," I calculated.

Jamie took the liberty of carrying out the deed. She pressed the pie into her little sister's face and giggled. The plate slid off and the mess cascaded down onto her chest and belly.Bugs wiped her eyes and licked her mouth clean. "Ahhh, I love it!"

Everyone returned for Round 2. "Rock, paper scissors, lizard, Spock!"

I threw 'paper', Jamie threw 'scissors', and Bugs threw 'lizard'.

"Tricky," I said, thinking. "Scissors beat paper, so Jamie has a point. Lizard eats paper, so Bugs gets a point. But scissors beat lizard, so another point to Jamie. Congratulations are in order!"

Jamie bowed and picked up the second-to-last pie and didn't make a move to hand it to anyone. Closed her eyes and brought the pie slowly into her own face, pushing the existing Cool Whip out of the way, and down her shoulders, breasts, and much of it disappeared between her cleavage and into her one-piece suit. She dropped the plate and put her hands on her hips. "This was a good surprise," she said.

"I'm glad it worked out," I said, then looked over at Bugs and nodded my appreciation that she was a good sport about our weirdness. "Last one!"

"Rock, paper scissors, lizard, Spock!"

I threw scissors, Jamie threw lizard, and Bugs threw paper.

"Scissors decapitates lizard and cut paper, so that's me!" Without delay, both women went for the final pie.

"All yours," Bugs deferred.

"Well, thank you," said Jamie. I prepared myself for the last pie of the day as Jamie approached. "Drumroll, please!"

Bugs drummed on her belly, and I did the same on my sides. Jamie took a step back and threw. Even from five feet away, she nailed me right in the center of my face. A seasoned veteran. I sputtered and laughed a resigned laugh, knowing that was the end of the pies. Only one thing was left.

"It's time for the special surprise!" I announced. "But everyone is so covered that there's no way to determine who gets it."

"I volunteer you," said Jamie, smiling. "It was your plan, so you should get the reward."

"Oh, I was thinking it should go to Bugs," I said. "It's her first time, and we should make sure she gets her money's worth"

"If I knew what it was, I might be willing to volunteer," Bugs said.

"No can do. That ruins the surprise."

Jamie spoke up again. "Is it something that can only be used for one person or could it be split?"

It could be split, but I was hoping not to. "I suppose. If we must."

Jamie turned to Bugs. "I mean whatever it is, it'll be fun. I've never been let down in all the years that he's put these things together. You should absolutely do it, and I'll do it with you if you want!"

"Okay! Let's do it together," Bugs agreed very easily. "With a stipulation."

"Uh oh," I rolled my eyes.

"Once in a while not every time! I don't want to invade your intentionally un-kinky messy time I want to get an invite when you guys do something like this again. Please."

"I have no objection," I said, and looked at Jamie.

"Once in a while," Jamie agreed. "I'll tell you about stuff we've done and if something sounds particularly fun to you, we'll let you know when we do it. That being said, we do need to up the frequency. Three years or whatever is unacceptable."

"Agreed," I said. "I'm always down. And Bugs is welcome whenever you'd like to invite her. Just let me know ahead of time, please!"

"Aw, you guys," Bugs mocked us.

"Alright, enough of this crap. You two want to do this together?" They both confirmed.

This was going to be up there as far as how messy I'd ever gotten Jamie for sure. I stepped back from them and carefully stepped outside of the plastic-covered arena. "Squeeze into the seat, guys."

They did so. They talked amongst themselves and took fingerfuls of Cool Whip and chocolate off each other's arms to taste. Meanwhile, I tiptoed trying not to drip onto the uncovered portion of the floor. I pulled a lidded bucket from behind the fridge that was heavier than it had felt when I put it there. Matters weren't helped by how slippery my hands were. I finally managed to secure the bucket and carry it over the edge of the pool.

Jamie and Bugs watched as I removed the lid.

Bugs stretched to look inside. "What is that?"

"This is about fifteen boxes of vanilla cake mix, prepared as instructed, with the addition of some purple dye in honor of Jamie's favorite color. You two are going to sit right here while I slime you both with it."

Jamie looked excited and nervous, as though none of the previous mess had happened and she was preparing herself for the first pie of the day all over again.

Bugs giggled incessantly. "Oh my God, this is so much. This is going to be ridiculous!"

I slowly picked up the bucket trying to balance it while standing on the slightly slippery floor. "Ready or not"

Jamie and Bugs scooted close and wrapped their arms around each other on the couch. I lifted the bucket and started to pour, first onto Jamie who shrieked as the cake mix slime slowly cascaded down her face, then I shifted over to Bugs and continued pouring. She was leaning forward to hold Jamie, so a lot of it went down her back. The sensation caused her to sit up straight and so I re-angled my pour to make sure I covered her face.

I returned to Jamie and the slime streaked down her shoulders and over her breasts and belly. Bugs leaned back in the seat, and so I poured directly into her chest, causing her to sputter and giggled. The slime now pooling in her lap, I shifted my focus back to Jamie and used the last of the slime to ensure she was an unrecognizable purple mess.

I set the bucket down and admired my work. Jamie's hair had gotten into her face during the sliming, and so split it and pulled it behind her ears revealing the smile that kept me coming back for more adventures like this

Bugs was trembling with silent laughter next to her and took a few licks off Jamie's arm.

"I wish you could have done this too," said Jamie. "It was pretty great, even for you."

"Next time!" I promised, and offered to help them out of the squashy chair.

Ten minutes later, the three of us were outside taking turns with hose, recounting the fun we'd just had and planning for next time.

"One month from this Saturday," Jamie said. "You set up the room and we'll be back, okay?"

"Sounds good to me," I replied, spraying Bugs's back.

TO BE CONTINUED. WHAT SHOULD THEY DO NEXT TIME?