What Would You Do? is back for its 30th anniversary! Comedy Central has picked up the reboot for its late-night block, and after just one episode, fans are seeing just how twisted the creators' minds have become now that they're free from the decorum of Nickelodeon. In one segment, Marc Summers hand-picked a contestant, Jamie, from the audience to play a game, and he ended up getting pied in the face three times during the game, then got five more pies, and got covered in cream and pink slime when he was sent to the new combo Pie Pod/Pie Wash contraption dubbed "The Pie Machine."

Then, in the second segment, Marc picked two strangers, Scott and Alice, to play the Wheel O' Stuff, a wheel with random games requiring contestants to complete crazy stunts to avoid extreme messes. Alice was seated in the new and improved Pie Coaster, and Scott, with a hose inserted into his underwear, not only had to answer enough questions correctly to save Alice, but also to save himself: any wrong answer resulted in a big blast of cream shot into his pants. Alas, he couldn't save either of them, and by the time Marc signed off, both were punished mercilessly. Alice was driven straight through the Pie Coaster's giant pie, and Scott was treated to a trip on the Pie Machine.

In Episode 2, Marc wanted to take it to the next level. And he had just the contraption to do it.


The Setup
"Hi, I'm Marc Summers, and you're watching What Would You Do! How are you today, folks?"

Urged on by a producer offstage, the audience applauds heartily.

"This is the show where we pick contestants right out of our studio audience and put them in impossible situations, all to find out what they would do to win with incredible prizes!"

Marc turns his gaze to the audience. "Today's episode is all about love. And I've been told we have some special guests with us! Have we got have a bachelorette party in the house?"

The cameras scan the audience like a less glorified version of The Price is Right. Four hands shoot up from about three rows up, shocked that they've actually been chosen to be on TV during their once-in-a-lifetime trip. Little do they know it's about to become even more memorable and not just for them.

Marc hurries up to meet them. He speaks to the lady sitting in the aisle seat. "So you're celebrating a big weekend! What's your name?"

A petite, doe-eyed redhead responds like she herself just got picked to be The Bachelorette. "Coryn! And we're all here to celebrate our bestie since college, Jessicaaaaaaa!!!"

The four ladies whoop loudly. Comically, the audience doesn't quite meet their level of enthusiasm. In fact, they're totally silent. Marc, though, has found some new marks for his maniacal gameshow. "Well, what're you all waiting for, come on down and join me on stage!"

The four of them hurriedly make their way down to the open stage area, where they hug each other and wave eagerly at the cameras like cheerleaders. The bridal party is all dressed in the same outfit, matching one-shoulder off-white tank tops and lavender leggings, while one of them the bride-to-be, of course is in a pink one-shoulder tank top and magenta leggings. These are outfits befitting of a central Florida summer, and meant to draw attention to their young, toned bodies. Their yoga pants clearly have been used for more than just Frappuccino runs. Though judging by their over-the-top energy, they probably have already had a couple of those today.

Marc intercedes. "Can you line up and introduce yourselves?" One by one, he addresses each one.

"I'm Coryn!" Fair-skinned Coryn's long auburn hair was her most striking feature. Well, after her butt, which was surprisingly big for someone of her slight stature. Either she had incredible genetics or a thirst for squats.

"I'm Erica!" Asian, with shoulder-length dark brown hair, and a true hourglass figure that really filled out her outfit, Erica seems most likely to have been a model in a past life. In the time since, she clearly has been working out, what with an ass equally as striking as Coryn's and some killer quads to go with it.

"I'm Caitlin!" Petite like Coryn, Caitlin had a runner's build, an eager smile, and wavy brown hair falling just below her shoulders. She seemed the most girl-next-door-ish of the group.

"I'm Jessica, and I'm getting marrieddddd!!!" Tall and featuring dirty blonde hair that fell at her collarbones, Jessica clearly has the fullest chest of the four. And she's not afraid to show it, since she tucked some of the tank top against the underside of her breasts. Her fiance is a lucky guy. Jessica is also probably the most eccentric, as she grabbed Marc's microphone to introduce herself, and even winked at the camera after she said her name. In addition to her pink and magenta get-up, Jessica also wore a sash over her left shoulder reading "Bride-to-be". Typical.

Marc jumped back in. "Let's give a big round of applause for Jessica, congratulations!"

The audience cheered for a few extra beats. Either they were happy for Jessica or happy for what terror was to come to them, one really couldn't be sure.

"I've got a game with the four of you, and the winners get a cash prize! And the good news is, this game puts all of you against each other, so someone in your crew is walking away richer, no matter what! How does that sound, Jessica?"

She responds directly into the microphone. "Sounds like drinks are on someone right after this, woo!!"

The audience laughs. Marc chuckles too, seeing as Jessica just set him up. "Well, it might not be the only thing on someone today! So let's have you split into teams of two, and we'll have some fun, right here on What Would You Do!"

The show's theme song echoes throughout the studio. The cameras reposition themselves as the opening sequence plays, while props are brought out on set. Two tables are set up about 40 feet apart, one of which has cartons full of eggs on it, the other a bowl. The girls arrange themselves into teams: it'll be Caitlin and Jessica versus Coryn and Erica.


The Race
Marc re-enters the shot under a bed of applause, and starts introducing the game. "We're here with Jessica and her lovely bridal party, and they're very excited to join us today! They're gonna play a little physical challenge, with $300 in cash and, more importantly, bragging rights on the line. Isn't that right, ladies?"

They begin whooping, though it's unclear which prize they're more excited about.
"I thought so! Our challenge today takes us back to a simpler time. Some of you might have gone to summer camp as kids, and probably have fond memories of playing games on a grassy field. That's our setup today, just indoors.

"We're gonna do a three-legged relay race. We're going to tie two of your legs together, and we'll hand each of you a spoon with an egg on it. You need to race back and forth across our set, carrying eggs from the table on this end, to the bowl on the other end. And to make this game just a little more fun for all of us, one of you is gonna be blindfolded.

"You must deliver the eggs unbroken in order to count. Whoever gets the most eggs across in 60 seconds will be our winner, meaning they'll get the cash, the bragging rights, and, you know what else, Erica?"

Marc points his microphone toward Erica. "No, what else?"

"Robin, can you show them what else they'll get to do?"

Robin, Marc's longtime assistant, wheels a bar cart on set carrying four massive pies in tins: a mountain of whipped cream covering a payload of god-knows-what, all atop a pastry crust. The crowd stirs and begins applauding, while the bridal party reacts incredulously. Coryn and Jessica cover their mouths with their hands in disbelief, Erica begins laughing nervously, and Caitlin throws up her hands and looks away dramatically, "Oh my goddduhhh" echoing loud enough to be picked up on Marc's microphone.

"That's right, ladies. We'll give the winners a couple of pies each, and they're gonna get to pie the losers! Okay?"

The audience whoops and cheers, sensing that this part came as some sort of surprise, even though anyone who ever watched this show could have seen this coming from a mile away. How many nae people see the big sign outside saying "TV show taping today!" and just go in, not knowing what they're signing up for? How many people really just sign the waiver in the lobby without reading it? Maybe it was Coryn's fault. She convinced the group to hurriedly sign the forms so they could take a selfie under the What Would You Do sign at the studio entrance. Maybe they should've paid more attention.

Marc made final preparations for the game. "Alright ladies, let's have one team on each side of this table, and Robin, let's get their legs tied together and get the blindfolds on."

Robin and another stagehand got to work, tying legs together and getting them spoons and eggs.

Marc buys them some time. "Ladies, no pressure. Just all of America watching you do this. Erica, how are you feeling?"

"Ugh, nervous I spent a half hour on my makeup, I really don't want to get pied!"

Jessica yells something inaudible off-mic.

Marc runs over to her. "What was that, Jessica?"

"I said, oh I can't wait to pie this bitch!" Jessica points right at Erica as if to say "you're about to get got" in the most good-natured way possible.

Robin ties blindfolds around Erica's and Caitlin's eyes.

"Wow, the trash talk has begun! Okay, it looks like we're ready to go, so let's find out who's getting the cream, and who's just getting creamed. We'll set the clock for 60 seconds, good luck to all of you, here we go."

"On your mark!"

"Get set!"

"Go!"

Though Marc's go call is usually followed by organized chaos, the beginning of this game moves more at the speed of Imperial Walkers. The crowd cheers them all on, Caitlin and Jessica moving deliberately, Jessica's eyes dead-focused on the spoons and their delicate cargo.

Meanwhile, Coryn and Erica take off more aggressively, taking bigger steps and moving more unsteadily. It's faster than Erica prefers, and she feels her egg wobbling on its spoon, leading her to shout, "Wait, slow down!" toward Coryn, who barely slows down since they're out to an early lead.

In contrast, Jessica's slow pace makes blindfolded Caitlin nervous. She yells at Jessica, "Let's go!"

Which Coryn also hears, leading her to suddenly move faster. She didn't think to inform Erica of this, which leads Erica to lose her balance, sending her egg tumbling off the spoon and smashing on the floor. "Shit!" Erica yells.

Coryn looks over to see Erica's eggless spoon and abruptly stops. Once again, Erica can't see Coryn stop, so she keeps going, pulling Coryn's right leg with her, upsetting Coryn's balance and sending her egg tumbling to the floor. Seeing their plight, the crowd yells "Oh!" in unison.

They're already halfway across the set, so Coryn is upset about having to go back empty-handed, especially as they give up the lead to the plodding Jessica and Caitlin. "We have to go back!" Coryn yells loudly, even though Erica is right there.

"Slow down, they're going back!" Jessica says to Caitlin. Their communication is clearly the better of the two teams.

52 seconds to go.

They pass the course's 3/4 mark and Jessica instructs Caitlin to slow down and drop their eggs. They eventually ease to a stop, and Jessica delicately drops her egg into the bowl. She attempts to take the spoon from blindfolded Caitlin, but they fumble the transfer and can't keep the spoon level. Erica's egg hits the table and breaks on the floor.

Still, it's 1-0 in their favor, and they head back across the set for more eggs. 45 seconds left.

Team Coryn has new eggs and are making their way back across the stage. They make it about 10 feet before Team Jessica pass them on their way back. Team Coryn's communication is better this time. Their strides are shorter and more balanced. They're not moving as quickly, but they pass the halfway mark moving steadily.

All is well until Coryn hears "Fuck!" coming from her right. Erica lost control of her spoon, and another egg with it.

Coryn quickly takes charge, "Keep going, same pace!" So they do, and make it successfully to the other side, allowing Coryn to deposit her egg in the bowl.

It's 1-1. 35 seconds left.

About halfway back to the egg cartons, the teams pass again. Coryn suddenly shouts "HA!" in Team Jessica's direction, startling Caitlin and making her fumble her egg.

Jessica sees this happen and quickly responds. "Keep going Cait, I still got mine!" Though outwardly positive, Jessica is now big mad, thinking to herself, "Oh, I am SO gonna pie that bitch."

Team Jessica keeps their deliberate pace, and they make it to the other side, again with just the one egg. Jessica drops it in to retake the lead.

2-1. 26 seconds left.

The teams pass again. Jessica, her partner having just been fucked with, isn't going to let that go unanswered. Right as she passes blindfolded Erica, she yells, "Faster!"
Erica is surprised, and her hand stutters, but she's able to keep control of her spoon. Team Coryn is halfway home and keeps going, while Team Jessica fetches more eggs.

Coryn now has to slow both of them to a stop for the first time. She urges Erica, "Slow, slow, slow," but Erica doesn't slow down quite enough. As Coryn puts her egg into the bowl to tie the score at 2, Erica bumps the table, jerking her spoon forward and knocking the egg off it. This close to taking the lead! But now they have to go back.

18 seconds left. Just time for one more run.

The crowd senses the home stretch and raises their collective voices in anticipation. The teams pass just a few feet from the first table and Coryn again shouts something toward Caitlin, though with the crowd this loud, she can't even hear it.

Team Jessica, safely in the lead, continues at their steady pace. They hold their breath as they pass the halfway point, knowing that Team Coryn is coming. They slow down just short of the table, and both eggs drop in cleanly.

It's 4-2. The crowd starts counting down.

10! 9!

Jessica yells, "Okay, stop!" to Caitlin, knowing they won't be able to finish another run in the time left. Just time to stand and watch. Caitlin removes her blindfold to see Team Coryn barely a quarter of the way there.

8!

Seeing Jessica stopped at the other end, Coryn knows she has to pick up the pace. She yells "Hurry!" to Erica, but doesn't give her time to respond, Coryn just takes off. Given no time to adjust, Erica's left leg gets pulled forward and she loses her balance, sending the egg to the ground.

5!

Coryn sees this, and though she doesn't know exactly how many eggs are in Team Jessica's bowl, it's probably more than enough to beat them. Especially because she can see Jessica and Caitlin jumping up and down now, cheering and pumping their fists like they were just informed dinner comes with complimentary White Claws. Still, she goes faster.

3!

With 10 feet to go, Coryn is now basically at a slow jog, but blindfolded Erica can't keep up with all these unspoken changes in speed, so Coryn's right leg falls behind, causing her to lose her balance just short of the finish line, dropping her last egg as the buzzer sounds.

Honk!

Marc quickly takes control of the game. "That's it! That's it! Stop right there! Erica, you can take your blindfold off now. A round of applause for all four of these ladies, that was an incredible game, and so entertaining!"

The audience starts into a round of applause as Marc and Robin make their way over to the two teams.

Marc starts. "Erica, you dropped a bunch of eggs there, what was that like for you being unable to see anything?"

Erica is relieved to be able to see again, but the feeling is only temporary, since she knows that barring some sort of miracle, her friends are probably about to nail her with some pies.

"Oh god, that was wayyy harder than I thought. I really just hope we won!"

"Well let's see how many eggs were in your bowls here." Marc starts with Team Coryn's bowl. "We've got one, two eggs for Team Coryn. Andddd, one, two, three, FOUR eggs for Team Jessica. That means Jessica and Caitlin, you're the winners, you win $300 cash!"

Jessica and Caitlin hug each other, while they get showered in applause from the audience.

"And you know what else! Robin, would you please bring out those pies? I think Jessica and Caitlin have more than earned them!"


The Punishment
Robin wheels the cart over and hands two pies to Caitlin, and two more to Jessica.

"Now Jessica, earlier you said you couldn't wait to pie Erica. Coryn even shouted at you to try and make you drop your eggs! Is there anything you want to say to them now?"

Jessica's smile is a million miles wide. "Oh, I am SO going to enjoy this!"

"Alright, well let's get Erica up here to take her punishment!"

Erica nervously steps forward. Caitlin and Jessica each put one pie back onto the cart. Jessica calls Caitlin over and whispers something to her. Caitlin nods her head, a mischievous smile on her face.

As always, Marc edges in with the final word. "Erica, have you ever been pied in the face before?"

She's nervous, out of breath, and can barely answer the question. "No, I'm scared!"

"Well audience, Erica didn't want to get pied, but she lost, so now it's time we take this bridesmaid's pie virginity. On the count of three ladies, let her have it!"

Erica pleads with them. "I'm sorry guys! Don't do this!" with her hands tight-fisted at her chest in a defensive position. But it makes no difference to the winners.

One! Two! Three!

BLAM!! Caitlin attacks her from behind, smashing her pie hard into Erica's butt while a silly 'ploonk' sound effect plays over the PA. Erica's butt cheeks wobble ever so slightly beneath the tight leggings, as whipped cream and pie crust fly in all directions. A sheet of black liquid floods out from between her legs: this pie was filled with chocolate syrup, and now it's all over Erica's tight little ass. With nothing but a thong underneath, Erica feels the pie's coldness and stickiness all over her backside.

Erica screams, but her scream is silenced by Jessica's pie, which she slams hard into her face, filling her mouth with cream, crust, and caramel syrup. The crowd yells "Ohhh!" in light of the brutality. Jessica rubs the pie around her face two, three times before sending it up into her dark brown hair. White cream, yellow caramel, and bits of crust have totally obliterated Erica's face, leaving behind a shocked 'o' where her mouth used to be. Even more pie is lodged in her hair, while a deluge of caramel falls onto her chest, ruining her cream-colored top.

Erica can do little else but look down at the floor in embarrassment, while globs of pie slide down her top and the back of her legs. She wipes her hands across her butt to try to clear off some pie from her yoga pants, but all that does is smear the thick chocolate syrup deeper into the fabric. Erica flicks her messy hands to the floor in frustration.

Coryn's eyes are wide, her right hand covering her mouth after seeing how savagely her teammate was just treated, and knowing the same is about to happen to her.

Marc shifts his attention Coryn's way. "Coryn, anything you'd like to say after seeing that?"

"Jessie, Cait, please go easy on me!"

Marc says, "Jessie, Cait, grab those pies and whatever you do, do not go easy on her."

Caitlin and Jessica approach Coryn menacingly, like sharks stalking their prey. Marc steps in with one final taunt.

"Coryn couldn't win and now all she can do is beg for mercy. Let's show her the kind of justice we give to losers here on What Would You Do! On the count of three ladies, let's see it!"

Left with no other choice, Coryn continues begging. "Please! No, don't!"

One! Two! Three!

PLOONK! The 'splat' sound plays again as Jessica gives Coryn a brutal pie spanking, retribution for scaring her teammate during the relay race. Coryn screams, sending her hands back toward her butt, leaving a wide-open target for Caitlin, who viciously cuts off Coryn's squeal with a hard pie hit of her own. Coryn's auburn hair goes flying, a curtain picking up cream, banana pudding and pie crust along the way.

Both girls massage their pies into Coryn's ass and face for what seems like forever, Jessie doing her best to destroy the custom-made leggings she had Coryn, and all the girls, buy for this trip. The lavender yoga pants are forced to absorb a mountain of whipped cream, big chunks of graham cracker crust, and the viscous midnight blue of blueberry pie filling.

Caitlin doesn't let up either, rubbing her pie all over Coryn's face before flipping it up over her head, leaving behind a wall of white and yellow, loose strands of red hair stuck to her face. Coryn spits out pie, trying desperately to catch her breath.

Remembering Marc's order to not go easy on her, Jessica, still behind Coryn, scoops a handful of pie off the ground, yanks open the back of Coryn's yoga pants, and shoves her pie-filled hand deep inside them. Coryn, also wearing just a thong underneath, shrieks again as she feels Jessica grab a handful of her ass, smearing around the pie mess just before snapping her tights shut. Jessie finishes her off with a firm smack on the butt, a big smirk on her face. She always felt it was a little unfair that the palest girl in the group was blessed with the thickest ass. Now not so much.

Jessie, showing no chill, taunts her too. "YEAH COR, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!"

A loud "You bitch!" is heard off-mic as Coryn voices her displeasure. Her mouth hangs wide open as she grabs a handful of pie from her face and flings it in Jessica's direction, though Jessica is quick to scamper away to avoid it.

The crowd laughs and applauds Jessica's boldness, while Marc delights in kicking her while she's down.

"Coryn, I don't know if you can see this, but you've got banana pudding all over your face and blueberries all over your ass. Do you think you'll put this up on Instagram later?"
Still picking pie out of her hair, she responds, "Gross! This is horrible!"

"We'll send you a photo. A huge What Would You Do round of applause for these ladies!"

As seems to be customary after seeing someone get demolished in front of their eyes, the crowd gives Coryn and Erica a standing ovation. The game over and the debt paid, Marc is ready to move on to the next segment.

Or maybe not.

"So Coryn and Erica paid the price for losing the game, but our theme today is love, and love is meant to be shared. So we shouldn't send Jessica and Caitlin home clean, should we?"

Jessica and Caitlin whip their heads toward Marc, eyes wide open in shock. This wasn't supposed to be part of the game.

Seeing their fiery glances, Marc just plows forward. "As you know, we're doing things bigger and better on this season of What Would You Do. And today, that means raunchier. We have a new pie contraption that we're gonna debut on our show today, and you four are the perfect test subjects, what do you say?"

The applause reaches a crescendo. They want more carnage! Cait's and Jessie's mouths are wide open in shock, shaking their heads no. Coryn and Erica, on the other hand, stop wiping off their faces momentarily; they are VERY interested in getting some revenge, not remembering that Marc just said the FOUR of them would be the perfect test subjects.

Marc hears the audience and only the audience. "That's what I thought! So, when I think of bachelorette parties, I can only think of one thing. It's not the bottomless wine, it's not the sparkly sashes, it's not even the male strippers. Though strippers is kind of close."

A drumroll sound effect plays. "No, if there's one thing we equate with bachelorette parties, it's penises! And we know what penises do! So Robin, let's show these ladies our newest pie contraption, the Creampie!"

Robin and a stagehand roll out a 10-foot-wide platform on wheels, with four larger-than-life penis-shaped guns aimed about three feet from a single spot on a bench running the length of the contraption, and with a plexiglass shield behind the bench. There's also some sort of trough suspended above the bench, though it's seems like a nondescript part of the construction. It's like the original Pie Wash, but with giant penis nozzles at face level.

"This, ladies, is the Creampie. And since bachelorette parties love to make use of penises so much, you're all perfect to test it out! And in case you're wondering which of you lucky ladies we're gonna put in there to try it out. Robin?"

Robin grabs hold of the pipes supporting the penises and pulls them out wide, so that all four point at different spots on the bench. Conveniently, the Creampie is adjustable and supports up to four victims!

The audience shouts their ohhhs in horror. Someone even shouts, "Oh hell no!" They're really gonna blast cream into these poor girls' faces? they think to themselves.

"So Coryn, Jessica, Caitlin, Erica, we're gonna ask all four of you to take a seat in the Creampie."

An assortment of complaints is heard off-mic as the girls try in vain to resist. Robin even helps, gently nudging Caitlin and Erica by the waist toward the contraption. The audience is helping peer pressure them into it as well, cheering loudly while each of them takes a seat: Coryn, Jessica, Caitlin, and Erica from left to right. Coryn is especially uneasy as she sits; a bunch of blueberries still stuck to her ass explode under her seat, and she feels just how slimy they are beneath the thin fabric of her leggings. Not to mention all the pie Jessica rudely shoved into her pants.

Marc reminds them, "Now no fair blocking, so keep your hands down."

The college friends all hold hands tightly as a measure of sisterhood solidarity, or maybe out of fear. The anguish on their faces is palpable, and a camera focuses on Caitlin in particular, who's never been comfortable with anything sexual and can't believe she's in this position in front of all these people. The cameraman is a true pro: he zooms in really tight on her face, catching her trying to savor the last few seconds of her dignity.

The host twists the knife one last time. "Well audience, sharing is caring. And we genuinely care here on What Would You Do, so we're gonna share something special with this lovely bridal party. So count with me, let's give these girls a bachelorette weekend gift they'll never forget!"

The litany of no!s and please!s start up again, falling on deaf ears as they each face down the barrel of a penis-shaped gun. They're together, yet so alone, to just sit there and receive a facial on national TV. The count starts.

One! Two! Three!

BLOOOFFF. All four girls get shot with thick yet runny white cream from the penis cannons. The studio echoes with their screams of agony, their wails and Oh My Gods indicating just how overwhelmed they all are by the sensation of the blasts. The payloads come with mighty force, hitting the girls right in their faces - between Erica's and Coryn's already pie-splattered eyes, up Caitlin's nose, and right in Jessica's partially open mouth. The spray is wide enough that their faces are totally smothered.

Some in the audience join the bridal party in screaming in fear. Some actually turn away, unable to see (or unsee) what just happened.

Even Marc was shocked by the force of the penis nozzles. "Holy shit!" he shouts.

And because they're penises, they're good for more than one pump. The girls get blasted a second time and emit more screams. Their faces and hair get nailed with even more of the white stuff as the onslaught continues.

The girls let go of each other's hands to try to defend themselves as they feel a third, extra-long blast splatter their faces, shoulders, and hands. Jessica has gotten a mouthful three straight times now, and she sputters cream just to be able to breathe. She's almost retching, feeling just how warm the cream is. She loves her fiance Jeremy, but she was never very fond of blow jobs. They always seemed to end like this, which always felt so degrading.

Thinking it was over, the girls all let their hands down. But they're surprised with one last splooge of cream fanning out across their chests. This one nailed their cute tops, soaking the girls, who we now know are all bra-less. The cream dribbles inside their tops and between their breasts, which are all basically glued to their tank tops now. Their stylish matching outfits are totally ruined, especially Jessica's, whose bold pink top has been completely doused in white.

The penises stop squirting and the shrieks finally subside, revealing the collective humiliation of these four once-beautiful twenty-somethings, heartbreakers finally given a taste of their own medicine. Now, they're merely overexposed, dripping and spitting cream, their hair messy in every sense of the word. They try desperately to wipe themselves off, but to no avail. The cream is just too sticky.

Marc tries to gain order once more, if only so he could continue dunking on his victims. "That's the creampie, ladies and gentlemen! Ladies, don't be so shocked, I'm sure this isn't the first time this has happened to you."

"But don't worry, you still got the $300 cash! Oh, and one last parting gift we want to give to the newlywed. A congratulations from all of us here at What Would You Do. Robin, can you please give it to Jessica?"

Robin pulls down on a lever on the side of the Creampie, releasing a trapdoor in the overhead trough conveniently placed right above Jessica. The audience groans at the sight of a deluge of thick, white, viscous slime pouring down on the poor bride-to-be. She lets out the cutest little yelp, scrunching her shoulders together, her friends sliding away on the bench to avoid getting splattered themselves. The cake batter/fake baby batter hits Jessica right on the crown of her head and domes out to the sides before it starts to drench her hair, face, and clothes. It rudely shoves the Bride-to-be sash clean off her left shoulder, sending it straight to the ground, while pools of white slime fill up in her lap, leaving her magenta leggings in utter ruin and looking like the Loch Ness Monster just unloaded on her.

Jessica's friends are shocked at what just happened to her. Variations on "I'm sorry, Jessie!" are heard off-mic as the deluge finally stops. The camera zooms in to Jessica's face. She can barely hide her embarrassment. Just a minute ago she was over the moon at winning a game and getting to clobber two of her best friends with pies. Now she's the one completely covered.

"So that's all for our bridal party, let's give it up for our lovely contestants, and especially for our bride-to-be, you've all been such great sports!"

The audience again rises to its feet to give them a standing ovation.

"But stay tuned, because after the break, we're gonna play matchmaker to set up two lucky members of our audience. Come back, won't you? This is What Would You Do!"

The What Would You Do theme plays as the show goes to break. The camera pans across the four ladies, each of them looking defeated after their rough treatment. In their own way, each is trying to clear off mess from their faces and bodies, especially Jessica, who the camera doubles back to focus in on. Much of the white slime has found its way into her top, leading her to try to scoop it out as the camera watches, eager to catch Jessie showing a bit too much of her breasts.

The producers then cut to slow-motion shots first of Erica's face getting demolished with the caramel pie, then of Coryn's toned ass getting spanked with the blueberry pie. It then cuts to a quad view, capturing each girl right at the moment they received their facials, their scrunched faces getting blown away, hair blasted backwards by the sheer force. Monitors in the studio pick up this replay, and the four girls hear ohhhs from the crowd, leading them to look up at the screens and see for themselves what they had to endure. Erica turns away, unable to even watch. The shot cuts back to a live shot of the Bride-to-be sash, on the floor and soaked in a pool of white slime, totally destroyed.

Yet again, What Would You Do has taken some overeager participants motivated by a cash prize, ruined their clothes, stripped them of their dignity, and humiliated them on screen, all for the chance at a minute in the spotlight. Coryn, Erica, Caitlin, and Jessica walked in looking glamorous in their matching outfits, stealing glances from all the men around them. If they're lucky, they'll walk out in shapeless, oversize giveaway t-shirts, their hair matted and tangled, picking cream out of their ears, their custom-made tank tops and yoga pants in plastic shopping bags, damp and reeking of spoiled dairy in the humid Florida summer. This is no way to turn up at the bar to spend their prize money!

Best bachelorette weekend everrrrrr!