Finally getting around to reposting this one! Big thanks to Deeppan for saving it! I don't remember when I wrote it, maybe 2018, under the Tbone name. Anyway, as with my other stories, I added new AI images. Pretty crazy what the image generators can do now!

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Part 1

"Okay, class! Let's get started!" Ms. Ashley took control of the room. I got quiet. It gave me a second to stare. She was a newer teacher to our country high school, a few years out of college and back from a couple years trying to make it in New York. Her face showed experience, but her body was still tight. She had long flowing blonde hair that sat over her plaid shirt and blue jeans. She fit in well in cow country! Ms. Ashley flashed me a quick smile.

"Next week is Fine Arts Week," she continued. "Our theater program is just getting some legs and I think it's a great opportunity to showcase how much fun we have. It'd be nice to recruit some more guys too, besides you, Dave."

Yeah, I'm veteran of the group. I'm a senior and we only have a couple of freshman. Frankly it's probably how hot the older girls are that got them interested, so a chance to showcase them probably isn't a bad idea. "Yeah, Dave, we're pretty bored with you," Kate added. Kate's my ex-girlfriend, if you can call her that. We had the lead in the show last year and shared some sparks, but we never made anything official outside of the backseat of my car. Kate was a full-bodied brunette, curvy, with a tantalizing smile. Her v-neck tank top and leggings were especially nice today.

Annoyed, Ms. Ashley added, "I mean, we'll need more guys if we ever want to do a real show! Dave, you're great" That hung in the air a split second longer than was comfortable. It's fine with me, I don't mind being surrounded by women for a few easy credits and after-school 'activities!' I'm a decently built guy with tousled blonde hair, so the theater chicks like me.

"Anyway, I was thinking that to show how fun theater can be, we'll do a slapstick comedy demonstration! Everyone'll enjoy that!" "Only people dumb enough to live in this small town," interrupted Missy. She always had some smart-ass comment. Ms. Ashley rolled her eyes. She clearly didn't want to deal with Missy, like usual. Missy was tall, with long flexible legs, well-endowed breasts, and mermaid-length black hair. Today she was in a cowboy hat, booty shorts, tank top, and boots. Don't ask how I know she's flexible.

"Hey, I think it'll be fun!" piped up Em, the spunky sophomore redhead. She looked at me and smiled, looking for encouragement. "Yeah, come on, Missy. Have some fun!" I joined. "I'm glad there's SOME interest in this!" said Ms. Ashley. "Of course we'll do it," Missy added, not missing a chance to be in the limelight. "I just think we can be a bit more evolved!" "I know it's not Shakespeare, but we do have to cater to make theater accessible. Again, we're glad you're here, Dave, but I'd like to see if we can get more guys interested," Ms. Ashley concluded. "I think you do great for us, Dave" Em quickly added.

"Thanks, Em! I'm glad someone here appreciates my art! Comedy would be nice for a change of pace," I said. Kate and Missy looked annoyed. Quickly, "you would rather see some comedy than an intellectual exercise" ribbed Missy. "Now now, I'm still planning it out, but I think we can make this fun for everyone! With that in mind, Dave, Kate, Missy, Em? I'd like you all to participate. To make it a little bit more interesting, I'd like to throw in improv as another element of the show. We'll spend the next week practicing improv and the four of you will be expected to show up next week ready to act!"

* * *

"Welcome to the Fine Arts Week presentation of 'Improv Slapstick!' I'm Ms. Ashley the theater teacher, and we have our star acting students with us today ready to show you how delicious I mean, fun theater can be! Let me introduce the team!"

Kate was the first to walk out. She was wearing tight dark-blue jeans, a hot pink Fine Arts Week t-shirt, and her character shoes. She always knew how to accentuate her assets. Kate and the other girls met early to get on their theater make-up and hair. I love the smell of hairspray in the dressing rooms and their make-up always made their lips extra pouty around their big smiles. Missy was next, in a tight denim skirt, plaid button up tied up on the side of her hip, and cowboy boots. Em was called next, wearing a yellow flower dress that made her red hair even brighter. I was last just in my jeans and a dark blue version of the same Fine Arts Week t-shirt.

After we all came out, Ms. Ashley went back stage. She came out rolling a bakery trolley full of cream pies. She was dressed the part of an instructor, with a graduation cap over her long blonde hair, and a tight long-sleeve white button up tucked into a knee length black pencil skirt, black nylons, and character shoes. She bent down just enough when pushing the cart to pique my interest! I moved my hands to the front to be safe. The whole school was in the audience for this show, and the crowded started to chat excitedly. I started to get nervous because we didn't practice anything with pies. I was beginning to wonder what Ms. Ashley meant by 'delicious.'

Ms. Ashley got back to the podium. "And now let's begin our presentation of Improv Slapstick! With that name I know you'll recognize that not only is this a slapstick demonstration, but it will be entirely created by improv, through the skill of the actors. As an educational exercise, this will be taped for our class review. You only learn by watching yourself! Now, slapstick can be presented in many ways, but I thought you'd most enjoy it through the medium of banana cream pies. In the face." The audience laughed. "And lest you think that this is all planned, we'll be drawing the names of the participants out of a hat! But because we don't have enough guys, I mean actors, all the names will go right back in the hat! Shall we begin?"

"Okay! The first of three scenes demonstrates one of the classic ways for someone to deliver a slapstick pie in the face. It's called, 'Give it to me!' For this scene we will draw two participants from the hat. First up, the pie holder.. Kate!" Her friends in the audience cheered, and I think I heard some whoops. "And for the recipient.. Dave!" I sunk a little bit.

Kate walked over to the bakery trolley and picked up a pie. She turned to the audience, raised her eyebrows, opened her mouth in a wide smile. I walked to the middle of the stage and she sauntered over, taking her time and enjoying the moment. I whispered, "Don't break the fourth wall, Kate." She paused. Then said loudly, "Hi Dave, I brought you this homemade banana cream pie!"

"Oh Kate, you really shouldn't have."

"Oh but I did. You've been such a GOOD friend these years in school. I wanted to show you how much I appreciate you. I really enjoyed our after-school activities last year"

The crowd chuckled. I blushed.

"Yeah, uh, me too thanks, Kate!"

She wore a crooked smile and looked me in the eye. "But... I'm not sure you really want this pie."

I sighed. I'll play my part. "Yes, I do, Kate! I really do! I want that pie!"

"You want it?"

"Yes! I LOVE banana cream pie!"

She shifted the pie to her left hand. "Good, I'm glad! Because I really want to give it to you!"

"That's great! Because I really want you to give it to me."

"You do? You want me to give you this pie?" She pointed with her right hand.

"Absolutely. Give it to me."

"That didn't sound like you want it."

"Oh I do, I really do. I want you to give it to me."

"You sure? You REALLY want me to give you this pie?" She said slowly as she shifted the pie to her right hand again and put her left hand on her hip.

"Really, Kate! I swear to you! I want you to give me that pie!" I said slowly in return.

"GIVE IT TO YOU, DAVE?!"

"KATE! GIVE IT TO ME!"

Kate shoved the heaping pie in my face and held it there for a second. She slowly turned it and let it drop. The audience clapped loudly. This was going great. I slowly wiped my eyes and Kate was looking at me pleased with her opportunity. I think she was also relieved her name had been drawn for that role. But I thought there was still plenty of opportunity for me to get her back. Or one of the other hotties. We went back and stood in line on stage. I looked over at Ms. Ashley who was happily playing her part running the show. I caught a nice glimpse of her figure from the side in that hot outfit.

...

"The second scene is a special one called 'Rude Customer.' This scene will require three participants! First, the role of the waitress will be. Missy! Customer 1 will be.. Em! And Customer 2 will be Dave! It's anyone's game" The crowd laughed, seemingly knowing something I didn't. This was still improv and I thought I could talk my way around Em. Missy was another question, but I thought I still had a 50/50 chance!

Kate set up the scene of a table and two chairs. "In this scene," Ms. Ashley continued," Em and Dave will be on a date a local restaurant, ordering dessert, with Missy as their waitress." We sat. Em and I nervously looked at each other and pretended to make small talk. Missy walked up.

"Will there be anything else?" she asked sweetly. This was not the Missy I knew, but it was sexy with her soft eyes. Em looked annoyed.

"Ummm. Sure. What are your desserts," Em asked.

"Well, I'm not sure. I'll have to check," said Missy. I was happy to let them get started, waiting for my in.

Missy walked over to the dessert trolley and bent over to inspect the pies. I happened to be facing that way and her ass in that skirt caught my eye. I quickly looked at Em who gave me a knowing look. Oh shit. I'm gonna have to get assertive. Missy wheeled the trolley over to us.

"There are so many kinds, I thought I'd just wheel everything over so you could see."

"I only see banana cream," I said confused.

"I'm surprised you see more than the waitress the way you've been looking at her," Em yelled!

"What? No!" I yelled, and stood up. Missy pushed me back down in the chair.

"Ugh, get away from me, creep!"

"Yeah, Dave, not cool at all."

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

"You've been eying her up this whole dinner!"

"No I haven't, I swear! You have to believe me, I only have eyes for you, Em!"

Em blushed a little but kept up her faux annoyance. She liked hearing me say those words. "Whatever. Can we see the desserts, please?"

"Sure I'm sorry we have banana cream pie I guess I didn't need to wheel the whole thing over." She picked up two pies. "Would you like to take a look?" Missy stood in between us, holding a pie in front of each of our faces. My stomach sank.

After a quick pause, she started swaying and bringing the left hand pie over to Em and the right hand pie over to me. The smell of banana wafted around us. As Missy turned, it was like she was purposely showing me her round ass in that tight denim skirt. It was too much and I instinctually glanced for a second. Em saw her opening and pounced! She grabbed the pie from Missy's left and yelled, "You PIG!" and slammed the pie in my face! "Stop checking out our waitress!"

The pie tin fell off my stunned face. Before I had a chance to wipe it off, Missy looks at Em.
"I hate guys like this!" And she whipped towards me and pied me hard too. She took the extra step of wiping it over my head and back, and dropping it on my lap. The crowd loved it.

As we started to get cleaned up, Ms. Ashley chuckled to the crowd. "I hope Dave has better luck in our last scene! We'll be showing you the classic Monty Python Pie in the Face Demonstration."


Part 2

"Let's draw names, shall we?" Ms. Ashley reached her hand in the cup again. "There are three Xs on the stage, so as I draw your name, please stand in your places. #1 Kate." She took her place on the stage right side (left side to audience). "#2 Missy!" I was relieved it wasn't me! But that was short-lived as Missy walked over to the far X on stage left (right side to audience). "And #3. Dave!" The whole auditorium erupted in laughter. I walked over and tried to get Missy into the middle but Ms. Take-No-Shit wouldn't budge. I reluctantly stood in the middle. "Awww, poor Dave," said Ms. Ashley. "And lastly, Em, will you help wheel the trolley over to deliver the pies? Thank you." Em brought the pies over to us and we each picked up 2 pies. I had half a mind to pie them then. "These students are pros at slapstick and know their history," Ms. Ashley continued. "So even though we haven't rehearsed this, I know they can pull this off."

"So welcome to this demonstration of pie in the face techniques. Pies in the face came on the scene in the silent movies of the early 20th century. They gained popularity and were a staple of slapstick comedy for decades. Over time their use as a comedic construction has waned, but there's something palpable about the tension seconds before a pie is delivered and the catharsis for the pie thrower. We aim to demonstrate that for you today."

Ms. Ashley continued. I stood ready to accept my demise. I was frustrated because it'd be really nice to pie just ONE of these girls! "The first technique is the straight-forward pie in the face. Let's begin with Kate and Dave, shall we?" Ms. Ashley said grinning. Kate and I stepped forward and faced each other. I lifted my right arm and Kate slammed her pie in my face. I heard some laughter under all that pie. "Notice how Kate twisted the pie in Dave's face. Classic technique." We stepped back into place.

"Next," she continued, "is the more complicated side-pie technique. Missy and Dave?" Missy and I stepped forward facing the audience. After a second, Missy thrust the pie to the left side of my head hard. "Very nice, Missy." We stepped back. After a few seconds the pie tin fell to the floor.

"Alternating sides, of course now there is the ever-popular push-back pie." Kate and I stepped forward and faced each other. I held out my right hand pie in front of us and she pushed the pie back in my face. For effect and because Kate and I had good chemistry on stage, I held my hand and the pie in my face for a few seconds. As it dropped I saw Kate playing to the audience, holding her hand over her mouth and giggling. "Great job, you two," Ms. Ashley said.

"After that we have the self-defense pieing method similar to women's self defense class." I wasn't quite sure what to expect. Missy and I stepped forward and faced each other. I raised my pie and Missy thrust her pie into my crotch! She looked me in the eye and smiled confidently. For effect she also held the pie in place, pushed hard, and shook it a few times. "Okay, Missy, that's good," Ms. Ashley finally said. I started to get a little hard at all the attention from these girls I fooled around with, and from the humiliation of it all . My classmates were certainly enjoying the show too!

"Hmmm, oh yes, I can't forget the surprise pie next!" Kate and I stepped forward and we both faced to the right. I moved the pie to my right hand and used my left to tap Kate's shoulder. After a second she turned and decked me with her last pie. It pushed me back a step. "Very convincing! Almost like this was rehearsed!" said Ms. Ashley. There were some laughs in the audience. "Let's replenish before some more complicated pieing techniques. Em?"

Em wheeled the trolley back out. She milked the timing and looked satisfied at my predicament. Kate picked up her two pies. I kept my pie and used my other hand to wipe my face. Em walked right past me and Missy picked up her two pies. Did I mention these were heaping? Em wheeled the cart off to the side. I feigned a look of "oh no" to Em as she walked away as I knew I was supposed to.

"Great, thank you! Next, there is the two person pie-sandwich! Dave, I hope you're hungry!" There were chuckles in the audience. I just stood there as Kate and Missy stepped forward and turned back to me, shapely butts and all to the audience. They looked at each other, smiled, and looked back at me with determination. In a split second they pied me together in a perfect face sandwich. "Oooh, looks delicious, Dave!" It comes full circle. I cleaned my face a little as the pie tins fell to the floor and the girls went back to their Xs.

"For the last demonstration, we have the most complicated of all pieing techniques. It's called the duck & cover" Ms. Ashley trailed off as the three of us stepped forward and the girls turned to face me and stepped closer. Looking left to right and back I ducked down quickly! Kate shoved her pie quickly over into Missy's face! There was a deeper enjoyment there in her smile as I knew she never liked Missy's attitude, and that she fooled around with me after Kate. Missy quickly wiped her eyes with her left hand and held out her pie so that when I stood it caught me in the back of the head! She pushed my head down, at which point Kate put her hand under my pie and shoved it all back into face for a total blackout. The crowd cheered and gave us a standing ovation for our efforts.

I wiped my face as Ms. Ashley finished. "That concludes today's Improv Slapstick demonstration!" I caught Em out of the corner of my eye sneaking behind us with a pie and over to Ms. Ashley. She looked at the audience and gave the 'shh' face. "I hope you enjoyed it as much as I have! And never forget that no matter the situation, you can always lighten the mood with a swift and timely" Em got right behind Ms. Ashley as she turned and pied her. "pie in the face. Thank you!" Em dropped her pie back on the trolley as she cleaned up her face.

As I cleaned myself up, Kate and Missy stood together chatting. They were laughing. "Thanks for being our pie target, Dave" Kate said. "Yeah, it was fun messing you up!" Missy added. I rolled my eyes at them, "You sure you never practiced? You seemed comfortable throwing pies." They looked at each other, giggled, and walked away. Ms. Ashley had been watching us too as the auditorium emptied. She began to roll the trolley and left over pies out too.


Epilogue

I went to the dressing room under the stage where there was a sink and towel I could clean up in. After a minute I heard the door open; it was Ms. Ashley. She was holding the last 2 heaping banana cream pies. She looked at me seductively. She set one of the pies down, turned, and locked the door. I got butterflies in my stomach as she was still wearing her professional outfit, sans graduation cap.

"I'm glad you're here, Dave," Ms. Ashley said. "I really enjoyed your performance up there today. You're a good sport." "Thanks." I smiled. She continued, "You know, I kind of set you up with the whole thing." She smiled back, guiltily. "Oh yeah?" I said surprised. "How," I asked. "Well, the girls and I practiced last week after school," Ms. Ashley confessed. "What?!" "Yeah and I'm here now because I didn't want to miss out on the fun." She walked closer to me and held the pie up to me with a determined look in her face. She looked like she was going to enjoy this. I figured what the hell. My hot teacher wanted to pie me too. "Okay" I said. She milked it for a few seconds. I felt the tension. Then she pied me. With the pie in my face, Ms. Ashley rubbed it around slowly. She laughed, liberated and proud of herself.

The pie tin fell and she got close to me. I wiped my eyes and she was nearly touching me, eyes looking into mine. She started rubbing my crotch with her left hand. She picked up the second pie with her right. She brought it up and held it close to our faces. She leaned in to my ear and said softly, "pies make me wet. And watching you get pied made me really wet." Slowly she said, "pieing you made me even wetter. Now, I want you to pie me."

She took her hand off my crotch, handed me the pie, and slowly stepped back a couple steps. I looked her up and down, closer than I ever had before in class. In her character shoes she was about my height. Her tight body revealed a yoga strength. Her plush ass formed a round curve in the black skirt. She slowly turned around and back to me so that I could get a good look at her. Her stiff white blouse was tucked in and her breasts formed a firm V in the top. Her blonde hair was gently curled, full, and hanging below her shoulders. She bit her lip and looked at me with wanting eyes. She put her hand on the front of her skirt, pulled it up slightly, and two fingers disappeared underneath. She moaned.

I couldn't take it. I stepped towards her and planted my feet in front of her. She braced herself for it and I pied her with a gentle force that dropped a lot of the whipped cream over her chest and framed by her hair. I let the tin drop and we stood there. She opened her mouth in an O and wiped her eyes. We started making out with our pied faces. She rubbed my crotch harder and started to unzip my pants. I lifted her skirt and pulled down her nylons. I felt her warm wetness on my erect penis and shuddered.

Just then a knock on the door. "Hey, I gotta get in there, too, Dave!" It was Em. We were busted. All of a sudden the door knob turned and the door opened. "Good thing the spare key is right above!!! What are you guys doing??!! She looked at Ms. Ashley pied, skirt up, and at me, pied again and pants down. We paused for a second. Em smiled. She closed the door, locked it, and put the key on the counter. Em was a firery spitfire. And blondes like Ms. Ashley certainly do have more fun.

The End