When Bianca called her husband Darryl a bit of a clown, she was speaking the literal truth. That was because every Saturday afternoon he dressed up as a six-foot-tall blue chicken to become the mascot of the local football club. At first it seems a harmless enough hobby with him galivanting around the pitch before the match and firing up the crowd, but then things took a messy turn.

Apparently, it was inspired by a basketball mascot in the US who had become known for smashing cakes into the faces of those wearing the opposition's kit. The sponsors of the team thought it was an excellent idea for a stunt and one of them even agreed to be the victim. So, during half time, Darryl pranced out of the player's tunnel in his costume carrying a sheet cake. After quickly locating his target he thrust the cake into the sponsor's face and so a new tradition was born for the club.

Thereafter at every home match someone different would get caked. These were all volunteers, mostly backroom staff, as the club had no wish to get sued by an unwilling victim. But after a while they began to run out of people and so Darryl had the bright idea of involving his wife. However, he didn't tell her about it.

Bianca hadn't suspected anything when her husband invited her to a match especially when he suggested they go out for dinner afterwards. Whilst he headed off to get changed, she took her seat in the stands although was somewhat surprised to discover she was surrounded by rival supporters. Not thinking too much about it she watched the first half of the game waiting patiently to see her husband do his act. He appeared in his chicken costume carrying a cake and glanced around the stadium.

Suddenly Bianca started to get a sinking feeling. Sure, enough Darryl spotted his wife and started to make his way unerringly towards her. She tried to hide herself among the rival fans, but it did no good and in moments he is standing beside her with the cake in hand. As the crowd began chanting for him to cake her, Bianca changed her tack and tried pleading with him.

"Don't you d..." Bianca began.

But she didn't manage to get any further because at that moment she received a cake in her face. Bianca's was stunned and humiliated, she couldn't quite believe what Darryl had just done to her. Whilst everyone laughed at her, she wiped the cream and icing from out of her eyes intending to stare daggers at her husband. Unfortunately, he had already moved away to fire up the home crowd.

Bianca left the stands and went to the toilets so she could clean herself up before intending to head home. Unfortunately, as she'd come with Darryl, she had neither her purse nor keys on her and so had to wait around until after the match for him. He instantly recognised her mood and apologised profusely, offering to take her out to her favourited restaurant. But she wasn't in the mood and gave him the silent treatment as they drove to the house.

By the time they arrived back Bianca was feeling somewhat less aggrieved. Darryl called out for Chinese takeaway and when it arrived, she did momentary consider throwing it over her husband but by then had built up quite a hunger. Plus, he was being extra nice to her by way of apology which continued later that night with their lovemaking where he was extremely attentive.

* * *

Bianca had forgiven her husband by the following morning and would have forgotten all about the caking but for an item on the local news. It seemed that one of the fans at the match had recorded the stunt and whilst the picture quality wasn't the best it was enough to show a woman in the stadium getting humiliated. Even knowing the woman was her, Bianca couldn't help but laugh.

And so, a month later when Darryl was bemoaning the fact that one of the groundsmen had dropped out of being his next target, Bianca surprised them both by volunteering herself. So, on the day of the match, she dressed in the opposition colours and jeered the local team during the first half. Then as Darryl appeared in his costume, she began to heckle him and so it wasn't a surprise to anyone, including the away crowd, when he slammed a cake into her face.

Thereafter Bianca would play the stooge for her husband whenever needed. And whilst the regulars soon cottoned on to the fact it was a setup they applauded anyway. On one occasion she even lost her top and stood there in her underwear (a white bikini) shouting at him to cover her with something which he obliged by thrusting a cake at her which the crowd loved.

However, the matches and the caking came to a halt with the pandemic lockdown. Games were initially cancelled and then played to empty stadiums so there was no one for a mascot to fire up the non-existent crowd.

* * *

Finally, the pandemic was under control, with the majority of the population vaccinated and the lockdown rules being eased. People were allowed to meet with one another, restaurants and pubs were open and live entertainment was making its long-awaited return. That of course meant Darryl would be performing again in front of a live crowd and would require a suitable target.

That it would be Bianca receiving a cake in the face was not in any doubt. However, the manner in which she'd be getting it was something that Darryl was keeping secret. He clearly had something special to celebrate the first match with a live audience but try as she might Bianca couldn't get it out of him, even when she played dirty. As the day of the match arrived, she was still none the wiser on the details of her impending humiliation.

So, it was with some trepidation that Bianca got into the car with her husband and drove to the stadium. The trip itself was uneventful and soon they were pulling into their reserved parking spot and entering the stadium via the staff entrance. Bianca couldn't help noticing the knowing looks the stewards gave her as she passed by, it seemed they were in on Darryl's plan.

When they got to the changing room Bianca was surprised to discover that someone had already laid out their respective costumes: a blue foam chicken suit for Darryl and what appeared to be a cheerleader's uniform in the colours of today's opponents for her. They both stripped down to their underwear before changing, Bianca having to help her husband zip up the back of his chicken costume which made a nice change of pace.

"Isn't it time to let me in on what's happening?" Bianca asked.

Darryl never got the chance to respond, if in fact he actually intended to, as at that moment there was a musical fanfare which signalled half time. Bianca was a little confused as usually by now she'd be "innocently" standing in the crowd awaiting her fate rather than accompanying her husband as they both walked out of the tunnel and on to the pitch.

Set up near the dugout was a long-covered table beside which was a cheap looking plastic chair. Darryl directed Bianca to take a seat whilst the public address system announced that with so many missed matches and hence missed opportunity for their mascot to cake a pretty woman it was only fair that they address the balance. Bianca wasn't quite sure what that meant until Darryl pulled the cover off from the table to reveal half a dozen sheet cakes sitting there.

The crowd cheered and shouted encouragement as Darryl picked up one of the cakes and stepped over to in front of Bianca. He looked down at her in his chicken costume and taunted her with the creamy sweet, miming smashing it in her face twice before actually doing it to for real. Bianca was rocked back by the impact but quickly recovered.

Normally that would be the end of Bianca's humiliation and she'd be heading back to the changing room to get cleaned up. But of course, there were five more cakes to come and Darryl had already taken up the next one. Bianca cleared some of the cake icing from out of her eyes, just in time to see the second cake being thrust at her. This time instead of letting go of the cake once it hit, Darryl instead grounds it around Bianca's face to ensure a thorough coating.

Bianca didn't see Darryl pick up the third cake as she was too busy trying to clear some cream and sponge which had somehow made its way up her nose. She'd barely managed to remove the irritating sweet debris when she was struck by the third cake. Unfortunately, Darryl's aim was a little off this time and rather than going in her face it went all over her chest.

"Whoops, sorry" Darryl mumbled through his costume.

The crowd didn't seem to mind his mistake and it even provoked a few wolf-whistles from some of them. Likewise, Bianca wasn't bothered, she'd planned to strip out of the cheerleader's uniform as soon as she got back inside. However, it did mean that this time Darryl was extra careful with the next cake as he rubbed it all over her face.

Darryl quickly grabbed the penultimate cake and once again smashed it into his wife's face. This time he kept hold of the cake and smeared in upwards until it rested on top of her head. Bianca wasn't quite so happy this time as she now had cake all in her hair. By way of apparent apology Darryl indicated for Bianca to stand up, pick up the final cake and thrust it into his face. Wearily she got up and gingerly lifted up the final cake with both arms.

Bianca stepped towards her husband and began to swing the cake back and forth, each time getting ever closer to thrusting it against his chicken head. The crowd even joined in by counting down from five to one. However, at the last possible moment, Darryl brought his hands up under Bianca's and forced her to smash the cake into her own face much to the delight of the crowd.

* * *

After their performance Bianca and her husband returned to the changing room to get cleaned up. Luckily, there was a shower in the room which after stripping out of her soiled clothes Bianca used to wash the cake from her face and out of her hair. As she got changed Darryl also took a quick shower before the pair of them headed off.

Darryl drove this time and rather than heading home he instead took them to Bianca's favourite restaurant. They enjoyed a great meal together and Bianca realised that whilst her husband might act the clown at times, he was her clown.

The end.