Note: Nicole "Nicki" Stevens and Suzanna "Suzi" Harrison are characters originating in stories I've not yet reposted on here. They were originally presenters of other messy TV shows.

Nicki hosted a series called Goo Your Own Way, where celebrities would volunteer to get gunged and the audience (the readers) would vote on how they'd get gunged. She's a redhead, quite aloof and has a phobia of being made a spectacle of in public.

Suzi had a show called Suzi's Slop Drop, which was basically a typical gunge vote show. Some of the key features were two celebrities, wild contraptions and a host who got as messy as her guests most of the time. Suzi's a brunette and quite bubbly.

Anyway, let's get on with it!

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These six people have never met until today, Nickis voice narrated over some shots of some kind of lounge. There were six women, all chatting about something or other, though what they were saying was inaudible over the sound of Nickis narration and tense background music. Theyre all here for the same thing: A chance to win £10,000. The shot lingered on the six chatting women, panning across them. There was a boisterous, short-haired woman with slightly darker skin. She seemed pretty athletic, as did the taller, pony-tailed one next to her. The footage was in black-and-white, so their actual hair and skin colours were difficult to pick out. The next woman had long, straight dark hair, very pale skin and dark clothes and fingernails. She had her eye on one of the other women: a shy-looking girl with freckles and curly hair. There was also a woman with a bob haircut and one with glasses and dishevelled hair. Who will work as a team and win a shot at the jackpot? Who will be unable to get past their vast differences? Lets find out as we play The Pairing Game.

The shows introduction played. It had intense, dark techno music playing over three pairs of stick figure-like computer graphic people running and jumping over obstacles. One pair was red, and they tripped over and fell into some kind of green CGI gloop. The same sort of gloop hit the yellow pair, and they left the running as the blue pair ran through a green finish line ribbon. The snapped ribbon had the words THE PAIRING GAME written in white letters, forming the show logo.


The show cut to the set, which had a dark and grimy feel to it. It seemed rather modular, and suspended from the roof were various elements that seemed like they could have been used in the later games. In one corner was a raised metal stage, with three podiums, each in a different primary colour. The stage was also where the six contestants were located, each one in a black fleece top and either shorts, leggings or sports briefs. There was also the shows frontwoman, Nicki Stevens. Welcome to the Pairing Game. Im Nicki Stevens, and Im your mistress of mayhem for tonight. Nicki didnt quite have the full mistress look to her, though being decked out in a black leather jacket, blue top, dark denim jeans and black combat boots, she seemed to have taken more than a few cues from her metal fan boyfriend. In her right hand was a microphone. Since the dawn of time, mankind has been forced to band together for the sake of survival. Of course, there were all sorts of nasties out there in the woods waiting to destroy them. Mammoths, sabre tooth cats, other tribes, I could go on. Of course, here on the Pairing Game, its not survival that our frankly mad competitors are playing for. Its simply material wealth, as whoever wins tonight will be walking away with ten grand in their coffers. Oh, and while we dont have primal beasts or killer Neanderthals, we do have our own array of little nasties, and who better to show us than the not-so-little nasty that is Suzi Harrison?

Backstage, Suzi was stood between three huge barrels, similar to oil drums. A camera pointed down at her, showing the barrels to be full of bright green, orange and purple stuff. Suzi herself was simply wearing a white tank top and shorts. She was barefoot, as were the contestants on the main stage. Like Nicki, she was holding a mic in her right hand. Thank you Nicki, she said. Yes, weve got all sorts of treats in store for the contestants, and they come in a myriad of types. Weve got slimy, sloppy, gooey, gloppy, gunky, mucky and of course gungy fun lined up. She dipped her left hand into the green stuff. It sank down, pulling her arm in up to her elbow. She swirled her arm around before lifting it up, shivering a little as she did. It seemed to stretch, creating a big sheet-like bubble which quickly collapsed into a bunch of stringy vines, then finally into big drips which glistened under the lights, a nearby camera capturing the whole thing for the viewing audience to see in incredible detail. Theyre going to have more than just their hands full if they want to win that money, Nickster! giggled the brunette presenter, running her slimy fingers over the lens of the nearest camera.

The show cut back to Nicki. Oh yes, if the presence of Suzi and myself wasnt a huge clue, were that kind of game show! she said, winking to a nearby camera. Heres how it works. Our six contestants have had a chance to get to know each other before the show. Theyve decided on a scale of one to five how much theyd like to work with each other. Then, with their new partner they have to play a series of messy games against the other teams, with the odd bit of trivia where they have the opportunity to steal points from the other teams. At the end of round two and round four, we send the team with the fewest points to the Elimination Enclosure!

The Enclosure was at the opposite corner of the studio, with some sort of railway leading into it. On the railway was a small car with a couple of chairs with seatbelts. The inside of the Enclosure couldnt be discerned at this point due to the railway continuing through a large, black door which was currently shut, though dry ice wafted out of the gap at the bottom.

Now, I suppose Ive talked about the contestants so its only right that I talk to the contestants, said Nicki, walking up to the first one. The contestant had slightly darker skin than the rest, and towered over Nicki. The redhead hostess felt slightly intimidated, fearing that if she pissed off the player then shed probably end up with several broken or dislocated bones. After all, this contestant had a bit of a hostile aura to her. The contestants hair was brown, straight and fairly short. So contestant number one, tell me about yourself. asked Nicki, hiding her fear perfectly.

I am Carlota Delgado Rios, and Im from Lisbon but live in Nottingham, said the contestant, with a fairly thick Portuguese accent. I study sport science, and I work out.

So youre the sporty type. What kind of partner do you hope to have? asked Nicki.

I know theres another athlete in the game, so together we would crush the enemy!

The self-styled matriarch of mayhem couldnt help clearing her throat. Well, Id imagine youre built for it. Still, which team youre on will depend on what top youre wearing under your jacket, so if you wouldnt mind popping it off

Sure, said Carlota, unzipping the fleece jacket and throwing it on the ground. Underneath she was wearing a blue vest top with black sports briefs, which really showed off her rather muscular, yet still incredibly feminine physique. While Nicki herself was entirely uninterested in women, she couldnt help feeling a tad envious.

So youre the first member of our first ever blue team. Well see more of you soon but for now we must meet the rest of our competitors, said Nicki, moving onto the next girl. She was quite tall too, though not as tall as Carlota. Her fleece jacket seemed to hang off her a bit loosely, suggesting that she wasnt as well-built as the Portuguese woman. She had green eyes and long blonde hair in a ponytail. So, tell me about yourself, number two.

My names Victoria McClean

Nicki chuckled. Bit of an ironic surname.

Well, I hope to be victorious! said the contestant, taking Nickis banter in her stride. Im from Mudford, and I play for the Raiders womens side, the Amazons.

So youre a local girl! Nicki said, smiling at something other than her obligatory mean girl act for the first time all evening. You must be the athlete Carlota mentioned. Do you hope to be paired with her?

Victoria pursed her lips and thought carefully about what she was going to say. Well, nothing against Carlota but I was hoping to get a more intellectual partner. Besides, my t-shirt isnt blue. I think shell be disappointed, for many reasons!

Well dont keep us in suspense! Lets see if youre in your home or away colours.

The footballer took off her jacket and placed it on the floor in front of her. Its away, she said, stretching her arms out to reveal her yellow t-shirt and black shorts. As Nicki had suspected, Victoria wasnt as strongly built as Carlota, instead being thinner.

I suppose that if anyone chants come on you reds, they wont be chanting for you. Maybe theyll be chanting for our next contestant, said Nicki, moving over to the next woman. She was quite tall too, about the same height as the host, and curvier than the previous two contestants. She had long, straight black hair and incredibly fair skin, with jet black varnish on each of her nails. Unlike the rest of the contestants, the zip on her jacket was undone slightly at the top, giving a tiny peep hole at her cleavage. Theres a pattern emerging! Contestant three, tell us about yourself!

My mortal name is Tanya Steele, and I have come here from Sheffield to partake in the game today. I am a singer, a musician and a poet.

And a goth, Im guessing?

Tanya chuckled to herself quietly. I suppose I fit that descriptor.

So erm, what kind of partner are you looking for? asked Nicki.

Im not as concerned with physical or mental capabilities as the two sportswomen. Im more interested in the spiritual aspects. I need someone whose soul I am in synchronicity with. My impression is that this game is just as much about synergy as it is about running or thinking, the goth reasoned.

Nicki thought about Tanyas words briefly. I see what you mean but to be honest, its mostly about covering you lot in gunge and laughing at you.

The others more than myself, of course.

Sure, why not? Nicki said, dismissively. So, lets see which team youre on.

Tanya bent over and looked seductively into the camera. She slowly undid the zip on her fleece and turned around, letting the jacket fall to the floor elegantly off her back. Underneath she was wearing a red vest top and black sports briefs. Im someones lady in red tonight, she said, looking to the camera and winking.

Good grief, sighed Nicki. So, we have the start of our three teams here as we go onto contestant number four. She stepped over to the next player. This one was of a fairly average height, and was the first one to actually be shorter than the host. She had curly ginger hair, fair skin, freckles, brown eyes and a rather ample chest. Contestant four, introduce yourself.

Im Niamh Breen, said the girl, very quietly. Despite the lack of volume, she had a very clear Irish accent, though Nicki couldnt quite place it. Im from Belfast and I work in a library.

Youve come a long way just to be slopped up, havent you? grinned the presenter. Niamh blushed a little, though Nicki wasnt really sure why. I always thought libraries were supposed to be quiet, clean and ordered. This must be quite a different sort of place for you.

Niamh felt choked up, but managed to say something. I dont mind! Im just here to win the money!

And what kind of partner are you hoping to win said money with?

Someone kind, patient, supportive and good at sports. I really dont want to sound too awful when I say this, but I think I got someone very different to that! squeaked the Irish girl.

Nicki smirked to the camera. Well, she doesnt think her partner will be good at sports. I wonder who shes paired with!

Almost taking that as a cue, Niamh turned away from the camera and unzipped her jacket. She took it off and shyly dropped it to her side, revealing herself to be wearing a red t-shirt over her stomach and considerable bosom. Im on Tanyas team. I hope I dont ruin things for you!

Tanya, get over here! Nicki called out. On cue, the gothic Yorkshirewoman stepped over to Nicki and Niamh. I can tell you now that Niamh; you were actually Tanyas first choice of partner. As for you Tanya, you were Niamhs third choice, behind Victoria and Erin, the latter of whom well meet in a moment. The host looked to Tanya first. The goth had a bright smile on her darkly made-up face, and seemed to have given her top lip a little lick with such subtlety that Nicki didnt notice. You got your first choice of partner. You must be happy with that.

Indeed, Nicole. There are many things in this world that can bring pain, and many that bring pleasure. This would fall into the second category.

Nicki cleared her throat. Well, thats good then. What made you put Niamh as your first choice?

Tanyas eyes danced up and down Niamhs body, lingering for a second on the Irishwomans chest. Well, I just thought she would prove to be more fun to play alongside than the others!

As for you, Niamh, how do you feel about being with Tanya?

Niamhs face turned red. Nervous!

Dont you worry, Niamh. Im sure you and I will vanquish our foes in this contest, crushing them beneath our boots like worms! smiled Tanya.

Were uh well, not wearing boots.

Im a poet. It is in my nature to have the occasional moment of being poetic!

Niamh nodded meekly. Okay then!

And thats the red team. If you go stand behind the red podium, we can meet our next player and see which team shes on, said Nicki. The reds did so, leaving the feisty presenter with the two athletes and two other contestants. She walked over to the next one. Player five, introduce yourself.

Player five was more of a plain, cute girl than the others, with a very youthful face and hazel eyes. She lacked Tanyas curves, Niamhs cleavage or Victorias slimness, but she wasnt flabby or ugly in any way. Her brunette hair was styled in a bob. Like Niamh, she was wearing leggings. Im Erin Milner and Im a psychology student at Derby, she said, sweetly smiling.

Nicki nodded, unimpressed. There are two kinds of students: those who study hard and the other kind. Which are you?

Erin laughed. If you mean the kind who party hard, then that one!

I hope your choice of partner isnt based on how many drinks they can down in a minute.

No no! My first choice was who I thought the best teammate would be, just based on what I saw of her personality, explained the party animal. I guess I should reveal who my actual teammate is now?

Not yet. Lets keep Carlota and Victoria in suspense for just a little bit longer, Nicki said, walking over to the final contestant. It was a short, rather scrawny-looking girl with hair in messy black waves. She had glasses framing her blue eyes. Finally, number six. Introduce yourself.

Im Helen Cogswell, and I study physics at Durham University. Unlike my good rival over there, Im far more of the intellectual-type, the kind of student who is there to study rather than to fraternise, she said, grinning smugly and pushing her glasses up her nose.

Nicki tried to resist laughing too loudly at the geeky-looking girls smugness. Well, I dont think I need to ask anything more about you! So, what are you looking for in a teammate?

Brawn, Helen stated, dryly. Like I said, I can provide the intellect while my partner deals with physical challenges. Seeing as Im going to be on a team with someone physically-inclined, that works well.

Well, yes. All thats left is to see which one of you is going with which person. Im sure you know by now how thats revealed. Helen and Erin nodded and unzipped their fleece tops and placed them on the floor. Underneath, Erin was wearing a blue vest top while Helen had a yellow t-shirt with black shorts. Okay, Carlota is with Erin and Victorias with Helen, Nicki announced as the two athletes walked over. Lets start with the blue team. Carlota, you put Erin as your second choice. That works great for you, doesnt it?

Carlota smiled. I wanted Victoria as my first choice, simply because shes probably the only one who can keep up with me, but while Erins not a sportswoman, shes neither scrawny and nor is she just eye candy.

Thanks? Erin said, rather flustered.

As for Erin well, I think she should tell you where she put you in her preferences! Nicki gave the party girl an evil grin. Tell her!

Erin buried her face in her hands, turning away in embarrassment. I put you last! Im sorry! Its just I had to put someone and you seemed the least friendly when we were meeting each other!

Well, since you apologised, we shouldnt have a problem, said the muscular girl, patting Erin on the back.

Thank you, blue team. You go to the blue podium while I chat with the yellows, said Nicki. The blues walked to their podium. So yellow team, youll be quite happy to know that not only were you each others first choices, but apart from Tanya, everyone put Victoria as their first choice of partner.

Victoria beamed with jubilation. Really? Basically everyone thought Id be the best teammate?

Its only natural, said Helen. Even if we dont factor in the frankly baffling obsession this nation has with association football, you possess numerous attributes that would suggest you are a good partner for a physically-based gameshow. These attributes include an amiable temperament, peak physical condition and a career path which involves getting wet and dirty with some frequency. It was these attributes that placed you at the number one position of my preference list.

And Im not entirely sure what you said, but the fact it sounds smart shows why I put you at number one.

So I take it youre both fairly confident of winning, Nicki said. The yellows nodded. Excellent. Take your place at the podium and we can begin the game! The three teams now in place, a fourth podium emerged from the floor. It was directly across from the three teams, facing them. Nicki stood behind it and placed her microphone in a little stand. The stand had a card attached to it. Before each game, theres going to be a little quiz round. In this one, Ive got three questions and each one is worth an increasing number of points, starting at 10 and going up by 10 each time. If you buzz in and get it right, you win the points.

Suzi walked onto the stage, wheeling on a wheelbarrow with a bucket dangling off one of the handles, and a folding chair off the other handle. Inside the wheelbarrow was some bright pink gunge. Suzi herself had clearly washed her arm after its earlier dip in the goo. Hey Nicki. Im here to dish out punishments for wrong answers!

Good timing, Suzi. I was about to start the first lot of quiz questions.

Our teams have only just been allocated, right? So, I think we should have a special rule for this first round, Suzi said, unfolding the chair and putting it next to the wheelbarrow. If someone gets a question wrong, then their partner should come up here and take a bucketful.

Nicki looked to her co-host skeptically. Why would we do that?

Its to encourage a sense of team spirit! The teams have to trust your partner even more now, since its about more than just points.

Thats actually quite clever, said the main presenter. You impress me occasionally, Suzi. Okay, so those are the rules. Buzz in if you think you know, and if it turns out you dont then we gunge your teammate. First question for ten points is: Which football teams supporters are called the Toon Army?

Immediately, the yellow teams podium lit up, accompanied with a loud trilling bell.

Of course youd answer, Victoria!

Victoria laughed to herself. Its Newcastle.

It is, and you get 10 points. Next question, for 20 points: What is the main religion in Malaysia?

The three teams all conferred, before eventually Tanya pressed her button. I hope this is correct, but Im going to with Buddhism.

Yeah, its not Buddhism. Its actually Islam, said Nicki, dismissively.

Suzi patted the seat of her folding chair. Time for the first gunging of the night, Niamh!

The curly redhead gave a petrified gaze similar to a small animal caught in the headlights of an oncoming van. Her heart raced as Tanya gave her an apologetic smile and patted her on the back. Niamh took a deep breath and resigned herself to the gunging. As Suzi had said, it was just the first gunging of the night, and probably just a taste of what was to come. Though, that was partly what scared her the fact that as messy as she was about to get, it was only going to get worse from here on out. She stepped down and sat in the chair, eyes shut tightly, head lowered and hands gripping tightly to the armrests. As Suzi tipped a bucketful of the thick, pink ooze, Niamh curled her toes and let out a moan. Its cold! she shouted as it surged through her lovely ginger locks and down the back of her t-shirt. Suzi moved the bucket forward, dumping slime into her victims lap and onto her lower legs. The goop formed a big puddle at Niamhs feet, which made a rather loud squelch as she stood up.

Did you enjoy that, Niamh? Suzi smiled.

Niamh ran her hands through her hair and winced. She smiled a little, despite the cold sticky sensation. Not really! she said, blushing, though nobody could tell thanks to her hair covering most of her face. She walked back to Tanya. Please dont get the last question wrong.

My apologies, Neevy, said Tanya, going in to hug Niamh, but deciding not to. I shall make up for this mishap.

Well have to see about that. The third and final question of this round: for thirty points, tell me how many sharp notes there are in the A Major scale.

Immediately, Tanya slammed her hand down on the buzzer. Three, and they are C-sharp, F-Sharp and G-sharp.

That is correct, but there are no extra points for saying exactly which notes they are, said Nicki, putting the card down. So at the end of the first quiz round the blue team are yet to score or do much of anything, the yellow team have ten points and despite Niamhs messiness, the red team are in the lead with 30! Suzi, thanks for helping out with the game.

Suzi gave a little curtsey. No problem! I need to go backstage and get ready for the first proper game. Join us after the break!

Hey, Im the one who calls the breaks! Nicki shouted, pushing Suzi backwards. The white-clad brunette fell bum-first into the wheelbarrow, with a big splash. Nicki then scooped some of the gunge up into a bucket and dumped the whole thing on Suzis head. Well be right back.

So that was the first part of my new game show idea story. I know it was pretty mess-lite compared to most of my other work, especially considering the length of it, but it will pick up in the next few rounds.