Working from home definitely has its perks. The Friday afternoon was sunny and warm, and my meetings for the day were done. I stretched, stood up from my office chair, and began to think about what to have for lunch. My phone buzzed at exactly noon, my doorbell camera alerting me that someone was at my front door. I took a sip of coffee as I glanced at the camera app.

I nearly spat out my coffee. On my front porch was a very sexy woman wearing a very tight shiny latex skunk leotard with an adorable inflatable skunk tail. Her cute latex headband had two adorable round shiny skunk ears, contrasting with her stylish cascade of blonde hair. Her nose had a cute little black triangle skunk nose drawn on it, and she was carrying two brightly colored boxes and a bundle of black and white latex helium balloons. She looked at the camera impatiently, then at her wristwatch. I scurried to the front door.

"Hello! I'm afraid you must have the wrong address, it's not my birthday today." I greeted the beauty, suppressing a grin. I took one last look at the vision and chuckled to myself as I turned back inside.

"Are you Bryce Smith?" She asked quickly. "Yes," I admitted. "Then this Stinking Telegram is for you." She giggled.

"I'm sorry, did you mean 'Singing Telegram?" I asked, puzzled.

"Nope!" she exclaimed cheerfully.

I rolled my eyes at her pun and smiled politely. "Very well, who is it from?"

"She asked to remain confidential, but she assures me you deserve it!" the sexy skunk before me offered assuredly.

"Very well, be my guest." I offered graciously.

My visitor bounced up and down happily grinning from ear to ear. "Yay! First, put this on." she said, handing me the larger of the two colorful boxes. I slid the lid off the box which revealed a fluffy plush skunk costume. I sighed as I held it up.

"Please? For meeee?" pleaded the breathtaking blonde with a little pout. I sighed, slipped off my shoes, and pulled the plush costume up over my sweatpants and t-shirt. She giggled. "Let me help you with your zipper." she offered, gently turning me around and tugging the zipper up my back and lifting the plush skunk costume hood over my hair. I heard a small click of a padlock. "Just so the zipper doesn't fall back down." she explained, showing me the key.

Next, my blonde guest handed me the other box. It was a pink cake box. I accepted it with both hands as she withdrew the lid to show me the large cream pie within, the top decorated with a black and white skunk face, nose, and whiskers. She carefully lifted the pie up for me to inspect, before slamming the thick cream pie into my face, forcing the mess over my features and splattering my new outfit's chest and hood. Before I could protest, a wave of stench washed over me, the unmistakable smell of skunk musk burned my eyes and nose. I protested, "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" I growled at my assailant as I clawed the black and white pie filling from my eyes. My costume's paws were stained black and white by the pie's thick cream, and the stench lingered. As my vision cleared I saw the sexy blonde giggling, aiming a large seltzer bottle at me. She cut loose a blast from the bottle. Instead of seltzer however, an even worse blast of skunk scent soaked the entire front of my costume. She just stood laughing as she continued her reeking assault. I tried to turn away but she just directed the spray at my ass and fluffy skunk costumed tail. I dropped to my knees trying to regain my breath as my lungs burned from the horrid smell. I looked pleadingly at my attacker only to see her recording my reaction on her phone camera before theatrically clipping the key to my costume onto the bouquet of balloons and releasing them. I watched the sparkle of the key fade as it floated into the sky. I followed the black and white balloons until they grew tiny and faded to gray before vanishing over the horizon.

"My client is an ex-girlfriend of yours whom you once left locked in a pillory and covered in pie after a prank at a ren faire. One that you left without her I might add." the beautiful skunk girl explained reading from a card. "She's now quite wealthy from the sale of her company and believes that you needed to be taught a lesson about being a little stinker." she smirked as the words dripped out like honey. "She's agreed not to press charges, as long as you are willing to accept your little punishment here as payback." My cheeks flushed under the mess as I remembered how foolish and cruel I'd been that day.

"I imagine you'll try to cut off the costume. That would be a mistake. There are plastic tubes woven throughout that will release a scent 10 times as bad as what's coating you now. It will also release an industrial adhesive that will glue the costume to your skin. You're going to be a little stinker for awhile I'm afraid. Also, that pie contains an industrial ink that will leave you with that adorable skunk muzzle and nose for awhile as well, usually no more than a month or two." she grinned like a lioness over a kill.

She bravely approached and handed me her card, leaning in to whisper in my ear. "If you're ever up for it, I happen to like skunks." she purred. "REALLY like skunks." she licked my ear playfully. I stood there frozen in disbelief as she turned, hips swaying and latex skunk tail bouncing down the sidewalk to her car. "See you later, Little Stinker!" she waved.