Patrick was getting suspicious of his wife, Felicity. They'd been together seven years having met in college and married for the past four. Whilst they'd had their ups and downs, Patrick had always thought they'd a good relationship, but things had begun to change recently when she'd gotten a new work colleague named George.

At first Felicity couldn't shut up about them, every conversation would start with either "George said" or "George did". When he'd finally had enough and complained, she'd accused him of being jealous and controlling behaviour. After that references to her workmate had dramatically reduced but Patrick noted that Felicity had become very secretive, for example disappearing into other rooms when on her phone and stifling laughter. Then came the repeated late evenings at work.

He knew his wife was clearly up to something and believed it was an affair, whether physical or just emotional, with George. But before he could confront her or seek the services of a divorce lawyer if his worst fears were realised, Patrick needed to obtain evidence of their activity.

* * *

His chance came when Felicity mentioned at breakfast that she had to stay late at work that evening as they had the auditors in. Patrick didn't believe her but decided to play along as if he did and simply nodded his understanding. He then waited until Felicity had left the house before phoning his own office and calling in sick for the day.

Patrick spent most of the morning preparing to spy upon his wife. This included spending at least an hour hunting down his digital camera before realising that the one inbuilt in his current phone would probably be more than sufficient for capturing any images and would be less obvious if spotted. He did manage to dig out some old clothes he hadn't worn for a while and which hopefully Felicity wouldn't recognised if she spotted him. Then taking up his keys, he headed out and got into his car.

As he pulled up outside Felicity's workplace Patrick glanced at the clock on the dashboard and realised it was a good half an hour before her usual finishing time. So, he turned the radio up as he settled in for a wait. And wait he did as the clock slowly turned and he watched other employees leave, some early but most exactly on time. Then a few moments later Felicity emerged.

"Here we go" Patrick muttered to himself.

Patrick watched his wife get into her car and drive off. He took a second or two to check the traffic before he too pulled out and proceeded to follow her. Felicity drove out of town and towards a small village a couple of miles away. She parked up outside a single-story stone hall at the edge of the community and heading over to the building.

After parking himself, Patrick grabbed his phone and took a handful of photos of Felicity's car outside the hall and a slightly blurry one of her entering. He then got out of his car and went over to the building. He'd assumed she'd have met George at a hotel, but this looked to be a village hall. Somewhat confused, Patrick wasn't sure what he'd find if he followed his wife inside, but he was determined to find out. So, he carefully opened the door and stepped inside.

He found himself in a short hallway with multiple doors and a notice board on the nearby wall. This clearly wasn't any kind of romantic bolthole, and he was wondering what was going on. He checked out the notices and discovered the place was currently booked for some kind of private school. He was so focused on the board that he failed to hear when someone approached.

"What are you doing here?" a familiar voice asked.

He turned to confront his wife only to see her standing there dressed as a clown. She had her hair in pigtails, face painted white, was wearing a colourful polka dot top, pink tutu, stripped leggings and flat shoes that were at least four sizes too big. Patrick was shocked at her appearance and didn't know what to think or say, instead he just stood there as she reached for his hand and lead him off.

* * *

Felicity escorted him into the main hall. There were two large trestle tables on either side of the room, the first bearing a couple of buckets and the second eight cream pies. Also in the room was a woman dressed as a circus ring master with black leotard, fishnet tights, high heels, red tailcoat and a top hat. She seemed to be a few years older than Felicity and was a couple of inches taller with a lean build but still with curves where they counted.

"Who's this then?" the woman enquired.

"This Georgia is my idiot husband" Felicity answered.

Patrick couldn't believe he hadn't realised Felicity's new work colleague George was a woman. He'd been stressing about her having an affair for no reason and now felt like a complete fool. But he was still confused about all the secrecy and didn't understand why his wife and her colleague were dressed up as circus characters. However, he was about to find out.

Georgia stepped closer to Patrick and carefully looked him up and down. She then glanced at Felicity and gave her an encouraging nod. Patrick wasn't sure what was happening as his wife momentarily stepped away but he was getting worried especially by the way Georgia was gazing at him with a malevolent smile upon her lips.

"Your wife was going to be on the receiving end tonight but" Georgia began to explain.

Suddenly Patrick was struck in the face with a cream pie delivered by his wife from behind. He spluttered in shock at both the coldness of the dessert now decorating his face and the indignity of being humiliated by Felicity in front of her friend. He reached up and scraped the gunk from out of his eyes, glancing up he now saw Georgia looking thoughtfully at him whilst his wife stood beside him with another pie already in hand.

"Not bad but you need to twist the pie to ensure proper coverage" Georgia declared.

Felicity immediately bought the pie she was holding up to her husband's face and proceeded to rub it in making sure she'd utilised all the filling before pulling the now empty case away. Patrick stood there in total humiliation whilst Georgia directed his wife to collect more pies from the nearby trestle table. Patrick turned to Felicity only to see her returning with a pie in each hand.

Before Patrick could do or say anything, Felicity had sandwiched his head between the pies and deafened him in the process. Whilst Patrick attempted to clear out the cream from his ears, his wife returned to the table and selected another pie which she slam-dunked on top of her husband's head and left the pie case resting on his hair as if it was a hat.

"Stop, this is getting ridiculous!" Patrick exclaimed.

"But we're just getting to the best bit" Felicity responded.

And with that, Felicity took another pie she had surreptitiously taken up and slapped it firmly against her husband's rear. Patrick reacted in surprise, stumbling forward a couple of steps. As he tried to gather his wits, Patrick was suddenly spun around by his wife. She then proceeded to thrust the penultimate pie into his crotch causing Patrick by bend forward in discomfort. Then taking the final pie, Felicity smashed it into her husband's disbelieving face.

Patrick was completely humiliated by his wife's actions, and it didn't help that her colleague was there encouraging her on. He pulled the pie case from off his face and cleared the cream from out of his eye once more only to see his wife just standing in front of him. Then he noticed the smirk upon her face and the fact she was holding one of the buckets.

"Please don't" Patrick begged.

But his pleading was to no avail as Felicity grabbed the bucket with both hand and hurled the think green contents all over him. Blinded once more, Patrick failed to see Georgia pick up the second bucket of gunge and only became appear of it when she upturned it over his head. With think gunge pouring all down him, Patrick heard the laughter of his wife and her friend.

* * *

Unfortunately for Patrick the village hall didn't have showers, so he was forced to use the wash basin in the gentlemen's toilet and a ton of paper towels in an attempt to clean himself up. Whilst he managed to clear most of the gunk from his face that still left bits of pie remnants in his hair and green stains all over his shirt and trousers.

Realising that further effort was doing little to nothing to improve his appearance, Patrick gave up and emerged from the toilets to find Felicity and Georgia standing in the nearby hallway. They had changed from their circus costumes into regular clothes and were busy chatting with one another. Suddenly they both stopped talking and turned to face Patrick, with smirks playing upon their face; both still clearly amused by his recent humiliation.

"Well, if it isn't my own little stooge" Felicity remarked.

Georgia laughed out loud before departing. Patrick wasn't sure if his wife was still upset with him for believing she had been cheating on him. But that didn't seem to be the case as she took his hand and gave it a friendly squeeze before leading him out of the hall.

The end.