Jason opened the door to his office, walked in and tossed his messenger bag onto the desk. The sound of the door lock and of his bag landing on the desk was eerily loud in the empty, deserted office.

"Working again on a Saturday", he muttered.

He looked at his mobile phone. 11am. He'd be stuck working for the next seven or eight hours, not including a break to hit the company gym later that afternoon. "Oh well", he thought, "may as well get comfortable".

He kicked off his loafers, and sat on the couch on the other side of the spacious office from his desk, and put his feet up on the coffee table. Opening a folder, he began reading his latest assignment.

He un-buttoned the top button, below the collar button, of his blue oxford shirt, rolled up the sleeves, and began reading.

The top of the document, under the company letterhead "Exceptional Pies Inc.", was indicated "CONFIDENTIAL". Beneath that, a paragraph of legalese.

He ran his hand through his short, dark (silver-flecked) hair, "Blah blah blah", he muttered, "do not discuss.. blah blah.. new marketing campaign yeah, ok.. blah blah blah.."

Blowing past the rest of the legal boilerplate, he read "New product line, 33% larger product, 50% more filling and more whipped cream topping..yadda yadda blah blah stabilized with a patent-pending recipe so as not to melt. non-dairy.. up to room temperature."

He thought, "Interesting. Bigger, larger, longer lasting for leftovers. Nah. too many "L"s. Also sounds like the results of a ED pill. Pass on that idea"

He flipped a few pages to the last page in the short document. "You'll find example product in your credenza, and in your office closet."

"Huh", he said aloud.

He removed his feet from the coffee table, and walked to his credenza and opened the door. On both shelves were placed several wide, large, and tall cream pies. They looked like banana cream pies and vanilla cream pies.

"Holy crap!", he exclaimed. The sizes of these pies was almost ridiculous. Curious, he dipped his index finger into one of the pies. The topping was gooey, and adhesive, but smooth and silky. He licked his finger. Mmm-hm, banana cream pie. And, it tasted good.

He closed the doors of the credenza, and opened his office storage closet.

"Holy. . .", he exclaimed for the second time in ten minutes.

On metal racks were rows and rows of these large, tall pies. There was a printed document indicating what was where. Banana cream pie, caramel cream pie, butterscotch cream pie, white-chocolate cream pie, vanilla cream pie, and strawberries&cream cream pie.

"Well", he said aloud, "They're not fooling!"

An alto voice from the door, cheery and unexpected, said "Who's not fooling?"

Jason, physically started by the unexpected voice, jumped a little, and closed the closet doors. "Anya! God, you're a ninja, aren't you!"

Anya immediately laughed. "Sorry!", she said though laughter, "I didn't mean to make you jump! But that was funny!"

He half-smiled and half-smirked. "Well I'm glad I can amuse you!". He wanted to say, "God, I love your laugh!", but thought better of it. But it was true, he loved her laugh and it gave him a nice thrill right down his spine.

She kept laughing for another moment, and finally collected herself. Still smiling, she asked, "May I come in? Are you busy? And did you get a haircut? You look sharp!"

"No, I got them all cut.", he quipped.

Anya laughed at that, maybe a little too much, she thought, but she wasn't able to not laugh at the stupid joke.

"Sure, come in", he said, "And nah, I just got here. I was reading my latest assignment. What brings you here on a Saturday?"

She walked into the room. Dark brown hair that was almost black, blue jeans and a black business blazer with two gold buttons. Square glasses framed her face. And: cleavage. A LOT of cleavage. Jason wondered if Anya was wearing anything under that jacket, and came to the conclusion: probably not. He watched her until she stood at his desk and leaned back against it.

She replied, "Same as you. Work. Did you read the entire document? What do you think?"

He moved his gaze from her to the folder on the coffee table. "I skimmed it. First page, last page, new product, blah blah blah yakkity shmakkity and dot."

She walked behind his desk and leaned forward. "And,", she said, "did you read the pages in between? Read page two!"

He picked up the folder, and opened the document to page 2. Out of the corner of his eye he could swear he saw Anya bite her lower lip, but when he glanced up at her, she'd just stopped. "Well?" she raised an eyebrow.

He said, "Ok, reading. hmm". He smiled, and looked at her. "We're assigned to the same project?"

She nodded, "Yes we are! In fact, I asked for it! Are you OK with that?"

Jason dropped the folder back onto the coffee table. "Am I OK with that?", he thought to himself. "I've had a crush on this woman forever, and she's asking if I'm OK with it."

He said, "Ah.. well yes! Yes I am. I'm looking forward to it. You know that H.R. has us sharing a lot of similarities in our psychological profiles. Creativity, confidence, sense of humor. especially send of humor, apparently. So yeah, I'm very much looking forward to it.

She smiled, and stood up straight. "Good! So am I!"

He said, "I'm glad, and flattered that you want to work together. I've wanted to work with you for some time. Your campaign for the new formula of white cake mix was really brilliant."

She smiled, and took off her glasses. Crossing one arm arm across her waist, she idly taped her glasses against her teeth. "Thank you! I tested a lot of product for that one. I really got my head around it. Ahem, so to speak. And, same. I've wanted to work with you for a while too. I mean, honestly, half of the office wants to work with you. Or should I say, "work"!" She looked at his chest, and then down to his feet as politely as she could.

He chuckled, "Yeah, yeah. Listen, back at you. I can't be the only one who thinks that you're ss -", he caught himself and changed tack, "ssssssso good at your work!"

She laughed, "That is NOT what you were going to say!"

He smiled, slightly pink, "Yeah yeah."

"Sexy. Well thank you", she said, "I appreciate it anyway. And come on, you have to know that half of the women around here at some of the boys want to be assigned to your projects. We take bets as to who can be the first get your shirt off !"

He looked at Anya, who was tapping her glasses against her teeth and smiling. "She has great lips", he thought. But what he said was, "Oh come on! Me? You're joking."

"And your pants", she added.

He smirked at her.

She rolled her eyes, "Oh please. You're a very good looking man. You have to know that! We also have bets as to whether there's a six-pack under that shirt."

He said, "You know that's like asking if those are real or fake", he nodded to her cleavage.

She replied immediately, and walked over from the desk to take a seat on the couch, "Real. So, six-pack?"

He nodded, smiling, "Yes, six-pack"

She leaned forward, "Ooh!!"

He folded he arms and leaned back against the credenza, now convinced that she was bare under that jacket. "So, speaking of which"

"Speaking of what? Six-packs or boobs?", she asked.

"Boobs! Not to be rude, and not that I mind at all! but aren't you a little exposed for the office?"

She sat back and crossed her legs, "Not on a Saturday. And besides, I know I'm generously endowed! If you got 'em flaunt 'em!. I kinda suspected you'd like the girls! I guess you're not gay!"

"Nope, not, though some of the men around the office let me know that if I ever change my mind not going to happen, but it's flattering."

She said, "I'd watch you have sex with another man. Just saying! You have my number, just text, I'll rush over." She looked at Jason up and down again. She pointed with her glasses, "You do have a nice ass! Believe me, we've all noticed."

He shook his head, "Wow you are confident! That's a very attractive quality you know. Besides your well-endowed endowments."

"Why thank you! And thanks about the vote of confidence about my confidence too", she said.

"So, may I ask a personal question?", he asked.

"Sure", she said.

"It's pretty clear that you're bare under that jacket"

"Thank GOD you noticed!", she exclaimed.

He laughed, and then said, "That's a bold move isn't it? Even for a Saturday?"

She leaned forward, "Mm, it is. It is more comfortable, for one. For two, I was hoping to run into you here. Actually, I knew you'd be here, so."

He said, "So.?"

She continued, "And for three, I'd come to work on a Saturday wearing only a necktie if I could get away with it!"

He raised his eyebrows, "Now THAT's an image!"

She looked at Jason, "Oh is it?"

She said, "Can I ask you one?"

He said, "Ask me anything."

She asked, "What kind of underwear, or do you go commando?"

He said, "Boxer briefs!"

She said, "Not going commando now then?"

He shook his head. "No, but had I known it was a popular choice, I might have!"

She said, "Really?"

He shrugged, smiling.

She leaned back, "Yeahhhh.. you'd do it. You're a show-off!" She had not stopped smiling for several minutes.

He said, "Clearly, so are you!"

She nodded. "Oh, sometimes, definitely."

He stopped leaning on the credenza.

She said, "You're going to show-off for me now?"

He smirked at her, "No, I was going to show you this product we're going to work on."

She snapped her fingers, "Damn! Well a girl could hope."

He smirked again, and she smiled at him, a definite sparkle in her eyes.

Their gaze met for more than a moment, and they both felt a little thrill at the eye-to-eye connection.

He leaned over and opened the credenza doors.

Anya said, "Lean over more.. more" while staring at his butt.

He stood up and glared at her, comically. Anya laughed, her alto, deep and rich laugh.

"Stop it!", he wagged a finger at her.

"Yes, SIR!", she said.

He suddenly felt another thrill at the way she said it, and looked at her again. "You have a great laugh, you know. I love it. Really!"

She almost blushed, and said, "Thank you! Well, you do make me laugh. You always make me laugh, and I mean in a good way. Not a mean way, not at all."

"You like comedy, huh?", he asked.

Anya shifted her seat on the couch, and bit the earpiece of her glasses. "Mmm, uh.. well, who doesn't?"

"Favorite comedy?" he asked Anya.

"Slapstick. What about you?", she replied.

"Huh! Weird. Same! Seems H.R. was right about us?"

"I guess so", she said. "That's dangerous!"

He said, "Yeah, well "

Jason opened the doors of the credenza, and said, "This is the new line of product."

Anya leaned forward, her eyes widening for a moment, and said, "Look at those Pies!"

He nodded, "Pies. A new larger format, and new robust formula."

Anya's gaze went from pie to pie, "Oh. my.. god..speaking of slapstick", she muttered.

She shifted in her seat again, and adjusted her crossed legs.

He said, "I know, right?"

She exclaimed, "They're huge!" and laughed.

He closed the credenza doors. She said, "No, no, leave the doors open!"

He did, and leaned against the storage closet doors, facing Anya who was still sitting cross-legged on the couch.

She said, "I want to look at them! For.. uh, for ideas! You know, marketing ideas. We can throw some around. Uh, ideas.. not you know.. you know what, nevermind."

She could hear her inner voice admonishing "Shut up, shut up, shut UP, SHUT UP"

He said, "You'll be happy to know that they also loaded up my office closet with a bunch of pies. There's an entire rack of them in here. Another well-endowed rack, so to speak.

She snorted a laugh, "Ah ha ha.. good one. And, uh, thank you for the compliment about the girls. I really do appreciate it! I'm proud of them!"

He laughed, "Clearly, Miss Go-to-work-wearing-only-a-necktie!"

She theatrically bowed, as much as possible from the couch, "My audience appreciates me!"

He laughed, and said, "Ok. So, we need to work together with these big, creamy, and gooey pies."

She shifted again in her seat, "Mmm hmmand, that closet is full of them?"

"Yeah", he said, "They weren't fooling around."

She sucked in her lips for a moment, and said, "Mmm, mm-hmm. No, but doesn't mean we can't."

He looked at her and smirked, "Would you stop undressing me with your mind, please?."

"What an ego!", she laughed. "And. uh, no, sorry. In my mind you're naked. Get used to it." she grinned, and it was his turn to laugh.

He said, "Ok. So, there are already some things in the works, by other teams. One is a calendar.. you know, hey, actually"

"Yes? And stop calling me 'Actually'. My name is "Why yes, Miss, I WILL remove my shirt.", she replied.

He said, "Uh huh, sure. Ok, so, Calendar. Well, maybe you'll know. So there's a calendar planned, and someone recommend me for it."

Anya said, 'They did? Well you are good looking you know."

He nodded, "Uh huh. They did. They invited me to pose naked."

"What!?", she exclaimed, "Naked?".

He nodded, "Yep. Stark naked. Nude. I mean, full birthday suit."

She said, "What??? You mean someone else will get to you, first?"

He shrugged, "Apparently!"

She bit her bottom lip. "Well, I bet you have a nice big co -- confidenceyou know. Um."

He replied, "That was NOT what you were going to say."

She said, "No it wasn't. But as long as we're on the subject, do you have a nice big confidence? And when's the last time you shaved?"

He said, "Yeah ah, well, no comment! And, this morning"

She suddenly had a pang of fear that she'd gone way too far, but she recovered, "No no I mean, I bet you look fantastic naked, and you have the, uh, confidence to pull it off! Wait, this morning? Oooh."

She closed her eyes and thought "OH god what am I saying?"

She continued, "What I meant was I'm certain you can pull it out. OFF. Pull it.. off.. I didn't mean masturbate. Not that there's anything WRONG with that, you know, masturbation is the best well almost the best but I meant, uh, you know what? Nevermind . Forget I said it!"

He laughed, "I've never seen you like this! You seem rattled!"

She recovered, and sat up straight, "No, no, just don't want to be.. TOO rude, you know.."

He nodded. "Right, got you. No problem. Be as rude as you like, I think it's funny."

She felt relieved. "Good. So. Uh, do you masturbate? No no, don't answer. Actually yes, please answer, and can I watch?"

He laughed, and smirked at her. She winked at him.

He waggled a finger at her, "You're making me laugh, and as mich I love it, we need to focus, this is serious!"

She said, "Ok, ok. So, someone, uh, volunteered you to pose naked? Huh imagine that and I'm imagining, trust me, I AM imagining. Uh, so, you gonna do it?"

"Well, would you have any idea who'd have recommended me?"

She waved off the question, "Oh, wow, so many women in the office, a few men, could have been almost anyone", she nodded. "Lets stick to the point: Are you gonna, you know ACTUALLY do it? You know, strip down.. go.. full sexy nude?"

He said, "Well, not that many people knew about the calendar campaign, so, that'd narrow down the field. I'm not sure they knew about the other part of it though."

She squirmed in her seat, "Yeah yeah, but would you DO -- wait. What other part?" she asked, earnestly.

He said, "Well, uh, we are a pie company, so."

She nodded, "Soooo?"

He said, "Well, I'm supposed to pose nude, and get a pie in the face."

She didn't laugh, and bit her lip. She glances at the pies in the credenza, and then up at Jason, perhaps a little too long. And then, she snorted and laughed.

He said, "Now how did I know that you'd think that it was funny!"

She said, "OH, it IS funny! And I'd kill to see that! Um, I thought that you weren't supposed to know that part!"

He said, "You knew!?"

She sat back and adjusted her jacket, somehow exposing even more cleavage than before. "Welllllll ya see, there was a thing, with a memo, and an email and cookies"

He laughed, "Yeah you knew! If I wasn't so attracted to you I'd be mad for you not telling me that part!"

She looked at him, "What did you just say?"

He immediately regretted it, but said, "OH, what the hell. Yes, Anya, I'm very attracted to you. Brilliant, funny, and insanely hot! What's not to love?"

She stood up, and put her glasses back on her face. Adjusting her jacket to be slightly more open, she stood up and stepped up to him and said, "Ah, yeah, well what the hell for me, too. The feeling is mutual. That's why I think it would be very, VERY funny if you got pied. Naked. It would be uh.. very.. attractive! Yeah, that is the word. You know, someone you like.. a lot getting hit in the face with a great big pie", she adjusted her jacket, sliding the lapels out just a little.

He said, "Be careful with your jacket! Nips will slip."

She said "Don't tempt me."

He asked, "So you really would think it'd be funny if I got pied?"

She said, "Oh, just a little! A lot, really, a lot.", and laughed.

"And, uh pied.. naked..would be", he continued.

She finished his sentence, "Hot as fuck."

He grinned, "Really?"

She said, "Well, you know, so I've heard, some people, uh you know, actually like that kind of thing."

She looked at him, and noticed a growing bulge in his jeans. "Interesting!" she thought.

She asked, "So you'd do it?"

He said, "Honestly, I have no problem going naked. Even for a camera, for the right project."

She quipped, "Prove it. Right now works for me!"

He smirked at her, and continued, "But a great big pie in the face? Naked? I mean, who wants to see that?"

Almost immediately she said, "I do!!!", and caught herself, again, "I mean oh, you'd be surprised"

He said, "Hmmm, I dunno. Really now, imagine it as best you can. Me, stark naked, and pied in the face. I mean, genuine slapstick humor. You'd enjoy that?"

She nodded, and absentmindedly placed her palm on his bare chest in the small area where his shirt was unbuttoned. She caressed his chest, and jerked her hand back, "You're asking if I would enjoy seeing you naked and pied, slapstick comedy style? Are you serious?"

He was grinning, enjoying watching her normal hyper-confidence unravel just a little bit. "Yes. That's what I'm asking."

She put her hand on his arm, "Well, like I said, I love slapstick!"

He said, "Me too! But it's funny when other people get a pie in the face! But me? I mean"

"Oh, no", she corrected him, "You're wrong about that. It would definitely be VERY funny if you got pied, make no mistake!"

"Well, I at least DO agree that a pie in the face is funny."

She asked, "So, ok, you think a pie in the face is funny. Like, what if I got a pie in the face, you'd laugh?"

He laughed, "Oh, yes, for sure! I'd love to see that!"

Anya said, "You would? And what if.. I was uh", she hesitated. 'How far can I go with this?' she wondered. But so far, her outrageous comments weren't freaking him out, so, that was a good sign.

"What if you were what?"

She said, "What if I was wearing absolutely nothing but a necktie?"

"Basically, wearing absolutely nothing?" he asked.

She nodded, "Tits, ass and a smile. Maybe an earring. Hopefully a warm breeze?"

"Oh, I'd definitely enjoy that.", he nodded. "That would be funny."

She looked down at the bulge in his jeans. "Hm, I can see you really would enjoy that" She resisted the temptation to palm his bulge.

He said, "Well, do you know what I keep thinking?"

She replied, "I think so Brain but how are we going to teach the flamingos to dance? No, I don't know what you're thinking but I want to you tell me!"

He said, "I keep imagining, instead of just me, stark-naked and pied like the victim of an over-eager clown"

She gasped, and interrupted, "I love that image by the way.. go on!?"

" or just you, totally nude and pied in the face like the victim of some merciless slapstick comedian"

"Um. A very, very interesting thought! Go on?", she interrupted again.

He continued, "Well, I imagine that I'm naked, and you're naked, and we're both pied, willing victims of a pie in the face, together."

She looked at him, and somewhat incredulous, said, "You, and me, naked in the same place at the same time?"

He nodded, "Ideally, yes."

She looked at the floor, and then back at him, "So you're saying, you AND me? Both of us.. naked? Together? And we pie each other?"

"Ohhhhhhhhhh. Fuck." she thought to herself. "How quickly can I say yes?"

He nodded "Well, that was the thought that came to me. And, you did mention that some people actually enjoy this kind of thing."

She said, "Yes, I do! UH, I mean yes, they do. I mean yes I said that. So, you'd really get naked?"

He said, "Will you be there if I do?"

She nodded, "Are you joking? Oh I wouldn't miss it!"

He said, 'Then yes, yes I would. All off. Stark naked. Birthday suit. Nude. What about you? Would you strip naked?"

Immediately she replied, "Oh yeah. Totally. Full nude. And, would you take a pie in the face?"

He asked, "Would you think its funny?"

She said, "No. I'd think it was VERY funny and insanely erotic!"

He laughed, "Erotic?"

Inside, she winced. Outside, she remained confident. "Well, yes. Humor is sensual, and naked and funny it.. you know can beerotic."

He said, "Hmm. Well, yeah, I'll take a pie in the face, then. If it makes you laugh, and aroused? Most definitely."

She almost melted when she heard him say this, and was worried he'd notice how insanely wet she was.

He asked, "What about you? Naked and pied in the face?"

She looked up at him, and nodded. "Uh huh, I'd love it." She resisted the temptation to rip his shirt off and remove his jeans and jump him right there in his office. But instead she put her hand on his chest and said, "I like your imagination. I really do love slapstick, in oh SO many ways!"

He said, "I'm embarrassed to say it, but I am finding this whole conversation very erotic. I love slapstick but not in THAT way. But with you, it's a whole other level and very, very sexy."

She nodded, and thought, "OH WHAT the hell" and said, "I agree one hundred percent. You have no idea how wet I am right now." She palmed his bulge, and felt him through his jeans, very thoroughly. He gasped. She said, "I can tell you're turned on, too."

He nodded, "Yeah, not so easy to hide."

She broke into laughter, "So modest!!"

He said, "No no not like that, I mean, you know!

She kept laughing, "Oh, it's ok, I bet you have a huge beautiful cock!"

He shook his head at her ongoing laughter, "No, I'm normal! Please, not the office gossip! Please, I'm not Bob the tripod!"

She laughed again, and risked falling out of her jacket. She adjusted it again, retaining the balance between modesty and enticement.

"Ah, um!" she said, finally stopping her laughter. "Oh wow. Wow!"

She looked up at him, smiling, their conversation having met the dreaded moment-of-silence. He said, "You really are amazingly beautiful, you do know that right? "

She snickered and broke into loud laughter. Bending over with laughter, her breasts almost escaping their business-jacket wrapper, she snorted a couple of times.

"Uh oh", he said, "You've given yourself a fit of the giggles!", laughing along with her, but not as wildly as she was.

Totally cracked up, she leaned her forehead into his chest, and through fits of laughter, was able to say, "No no that's not it.."

"I was just"

A fit of laughter.

"I was just"

Another fit of laughter, followed by a deep breath of air.

She stood up, eyes sparkling with tears of laughter and said, "I was just"

And she broke up again, this time into an extended fit of giggling that evolved into deep laughter.

"Imagining you"

Laughing

" standing there"

More laughing, and then a deep breath.

"Ah.. oh. Ahem.", she collected herself.

She snickered and placed her palm over his face, miming a pie in the face,

"PIED IN THE FACE!"

And once again she broke up into fits of laughter.

Amused, and delighted, he started to laugh, mainly at her incredible fit of joy and laughter.

"It's so funny! And so sexy!", she laughed. "Oh my god I'm so horny right now you have no idea!"

Finally, finally she ran out of laughter, and with tears in her eyes, said, "Oh. My god. Oh. I can't wait to see that."

Grinning, he said, "Remember that you're getting pied as well!"

She said, 'Oh definitely! I want to get pied, I love it!"

He said, "Ha, you do? Well, you know"

She said "Hold that thought, I need to get out of these jeans. TMI! But too bad! Stand. Wait!'

She darted out of the office, and he watched her go.

A few minutes later, she returned to the office, and closed the door behind her. She flipped the bolt to lock the door.

Wearing only the jacket, she held it closed at the buttons. Her bare legs looked smooth, and her toenails were painted the color of an expensive Pinot Noir. She was smiling from ear to ear.

He looked at her, his own eyes wide, "Wow! You look fantastic!"

"I'm so nervous right now!", she said.

He said, "You? Nervous? You're the most confident person I know!"

"Well I'm standing with my crush wearing nothing but a jacket in a room full of enormous pies! This is such a fantasy for me!"

He took a moment, slightly at a loss for words, and said, "If you're trying to make me burst out of my jeans, that will do it.."

She snickers, "Yes I am! But no, really, it is a fantasy!"

He looked at her, and she noticed that another button had been undone in his shirt. He said, "What's this about your crush?"

"Oh shit!", she thought. She winced, and still smiling, said, "I hope that's OK. I, you.. I've.. crush.. I've had this .. THING for you for months!"

He didn't think. He placed his hand behind her neck and gently pull her close, and kissed her. Immediately, their tongues chased each other, their lips slid together, and they shared a wildly passionate kiss.

When they stopped, he said, "Yeah me too. I don't mean I had a crush on ME too, I meant you. Crush on you. "

Her jacket had come open during the kiss, and when they stopped and she stood back, she pulled it closed again with a squeal, leaning forward so that it would cover as much of her crotch as possible. Smiling.

She quipped, "You could make me cum with that kiss.. wow!"

He laughed! She laughed with him and she said, "Don't cum in your jeans! That will be tough to explain to the dry cleaners!"

He said, "I am so hard right now, my god."

She said, "You do know you're going to have to prove that to me before I really believe you."

He said, "You really want me naked, don't you?"

"Pfshsh, yeah! For months! That ass, boy! Also, I admit, I imagine that you have a sexy penis. So, you know." she shrugged, clearly having fun.

He said, "So, you know.you're wearing nothing but a jacket. I assume so anyway?"

She said, "Oh silly boy. I'm stark naked under this jacket. Nothing else. I mean wow, if this jacket came off, I'd be absolutely, totally nude. How exposed would that be!"

He nodded, "Mmm hm!! Very exposed! I mean, I'm in jeans, a shirt, and boxerbriefs! Just three items away from being as naked as you are, under that jacket."

She said, "UNGH! Promises promises!"

He smiled, "You really REALLY want to get me naked, don't you?"

She nodded, "The suspense is gonna kill me!"

He said, "I didn't think that women were as visually interested as men are."

She said, "Well, not in general, but for me, with my lover, oh yeah. Naked, baby. In my house it's the rule. I need my naked man fix."

He said, "Lover!?"

She nodded, "After THAT kiss? You'd better believe it."

He said, "Yeah, we kiss really well together."

Still holding her jacket closed just enough to protect crotch and nipples from exposure to light, she leaned in and kissed him again. Tongues chasing each other like squirrels in the park, lips to lips.

When they stopped, she said, "Mmm hmm."

"So as I was saying", he continued, "You're nearly naked. I could be very naked very quickly"

"Oh, you will be" she quipped

"And.. we have a room full of great big pies", he shrugged, motioning to the credenza and to the closet.

She startled and stood up straight, not losing her grip on her jacket. "What!?", she exclaimed, and still smiling.

He nodded.

She asked, "Are you suggesting that we both get naked, and we pie each other?"

He nodded again, and opened the doors to the closet. Anya looked at the racks of wide, tall, creamy pies and laughed, "Holy fuck!!"

Jason said, "Well, we should do SOME quality assurance on these pies if we're going to work together to sell them. You think?"

She snorted a laugh, "OH you may regret saying that!"

She walked over, teasing the fact that her jacket was the only thing between her and full exposure. She said, "So you ARE suggesting we both get naked and we both get a pie in the face?"

He said, "Yes. Yes I am. And what do you think of that suggestion?"

Immediately she said, "Well, if you want to know the truth, I'm all for it, I think it's an excellent suggestion".

"Oh really?" he asked,

She smiled, "OH, I really want us to do it. I want to get naked and pie each other!"

He said, "Me too! And I'm dying to see what you look like without that jacket!"

She stood back, and said, "Oh, well, I look like this" and with a sudden, swift move, Anya took off her jacket and held it in one hand. She outstretched her arms, the jacket dangling from one hand, and said "Ta daa!", absolutely and completely naked.

Jason sucked in air between his teeth. His eyes went wide, and looking at her naked body up and down and up again, said, "Oh. My. God! Yes!"

She laughed and put her jacket back on, and held it shut. "I told you I was well-endowed!", and she laughed again. "You should have seen the look on your face!! I'm so flattered, kind sir!"

He walked behind her, and took the collar of her jacket in both hands.

"What what are you doing?" she asked.

With one quick, smooth move, he peeled the jacked off of her and tossed it across the office, to land on his desk. She yelled, "GAH!", and laughed.

"You stripped me!"

She turned to face him, nude. "I'm SO exposed! You stripped me naked!!"

He nodded, smiling, and staring at her from head to toes. "Yep, big boobs. And, my look, you're smooth!"

She placed her hands on her hips, ""Shaved smooth! I hope you are too."

He nodded, "I am".

She walked up to him, and started unbuttoning his shirt. "Prove it."

She removed his shirt and ran her palms over his bare chest and abs. Smiling from ear to ear, she unbuckled his belt and slid his jeans to the floor.

She tossed his jeans across the room, and turning back to face him, she slid her hands beneath his waistband. She slid her right hand over his cock, and caressed his balls before giving him a couple of strokes before saying, "These are coming off".

"UH oh..", he said, as she slid his underwear to the floor, and tossed it aside.

She did a double take and looked at him, "WOW! You are very hot, mister!"

He laughed, "Wow, I feel VERY exposed!"

"Uh huh, me too!", she said, and reached out to caress his erect cock again. "I was right, you have a beautiful cock!"

He moaned quietly, and said, "Oh, two can play that game!", and he slid his fingers from her shoulders, and down her body: over her breasts, down her torso, and finally over her clit, where he teased her for a moment. "Wow, you really are wet!"

She groaned, "Ooooooh. mmmm oh. Mm hmm, oh yes I am!"

He stopped, and she fanned herself, "Whew! Hold onto that thought, mister!"

He walked to the credenza and picked up a large banana cream pie. She watched him move, grinning, enjoying how he moved. "Yeah, you have a great ass", she said.

When he turned around, holding the banana cream pie, she gasped, and bit her lip. "Ohcrap.that's not fair, you grabbed a huge pie!", she said, and walked over to the credenza and picked up a caramel cream pie.

"Hey!", he said, "That's a very gooey pie! Talk about not fair! Caramel cream? You're eeeeeevil!" he laughed.

She nodded ,"Uh huuhhhh, YES I am!", and laughed.

"OK", he said, "lets get some groundwork going. Lets pick some trigger phrases, so we know when it's ok to let the pie fly! Ok?"

"OK!", she said.

"What's your trigger phrase of choice?", he asked.

She said, "It's 'Yes Please!'"

He looked puzzled, "Really? "Yes please"?"

She immediately pied him in the face, sending a wild amount of cream and caramel pie around his head, over his head, splattering around his neck and over shoulders. Plenty of pie fell to land on his chest and arms. She took a piece from his shoulder and smeared it all over his cock. "You said it!!" she said, and cracked up into peals of laughter.

He stood still, pied, grinning. Shaking his head in exasperation, pie in his mouth, he swallowed some, licked his lips and said, "I was NOT expecting that!"

She looked at him, pied in the face, pie splashed or splattered all over his bare skin, and laughed.

As pie slid down from his face, and he could see through one eye, he said, "You pied me!"

She nodded, laughing. His face was completely white with whipped cream, and sticky blobs of caramel fell and landed on various parts of his body before hitting the floor. A lot of pie had sailed with the pie in the face, sheets of cream across his head and hair and over each shoulder and around his neck. Blobs of pie bounced off of and smeared his chest as they fell from his face.

"And that was funny?"

She nodded again, still laughing.

"So a pie in the face is funny?"

She practically screamed in laughter, "HAHAHAHAHA!!! YES"!

He wiped his eyes with one hand, and said, "Me too".

He cocked his arm back to pie her. She shrieked, "NO!", just as he tossed the pie from short distance. It landed with a loud splat!, and gave her a large, engulfing pie in the face.

Her face, neck, much of her hair around her face now cream-covered and pied, She gasped. Her mouth a pie-filled "O" of shock, she finally said, "OH MY GOD! A banana cream pie in the face!"

He laughed, "Holy crap! HAHAH look at you! Now that is funny!"

As he laughed at her, she began laughing. "Good one! Wow I am so pied! You did not just do that to me!"

Pie fell from her head, and landed all over her breasts. "I love the way you look, pied."

She was able to open her eyes, and looked at him. "I love the way you look too!"

He picked up another pie, and she wiped her eyes and darted over and picked up a pie.

He said, "Lets do a skit! You ask me if I would like that pie, and I'll reply. OK?"

She nodded, "OK! Excuse me, sir? Would you like a pie? I have one right here, and I can let you have it!"

He pondered for a moment, and said, "Hmm. That's a good question".

She said, "Hey! No, that's not how the skit goes, you're supposed to say 'Let me Have It'!

He pied her again, another very messy, and gooey, pie in the face.

She exclaimed, "ARRGH!!" as pie splattered ans splashed all over her.

She took the pie in the face, and stood there, seething comically, as pie oozed and dripped from her now totally creamed face.

"OH YOU TRICKED ME INTO TAKING A PIE IN THE FACE!", she cried.

He laughed, and said, "A pie in the face?"

Face pied, she said, "YES!"

He placed his hand under hers, pushed the pie toward her face, and the two of them pied her. She practically pied herself, smearing the pie in circled all around her head and hair.

"MMMRGHP!", she said.

He smeared pie all around her neck, shoulders, and breasts. It was very thick, and very silky. And most of all, extremely sensual.

She moaned with delight, "Oooohhhhhhhhh, yeah.mmmmmm!"

He said ,"Look at us! Totally naked, and Totally pied!"

She wiped her eyes and looked at him. "Not totally.."

She walked to the closet, and picked up a pie. "Oh, this one is really sticky!"

He protested, "Oh no, now Anya, wait.. that's a super sticky pie!"

"Uh huh", she said, walking slowly toward him, pie in hand..

"Now, wait, you wouldn't.. that's gonna be wickedly sticky!"

"Uh huh!!", she replied, smiling. Two beautiful eyes peeking out from a pied face and head..

"Well", she continued, "I could just give you this pie."

"You could?"

"I could! Would you want this pie?"

He said, "Sure, I'll take that pie! Yes, I want that pie."

"Are you SURE you want this pie?"

He nodded, "I'm sure I want that pie."

She asked, "Hmm, so maybe.. I could just GIVE you this pie! Since you want it that badly"

He said "I do want it! Very much. It's a nice pie, are you sure you want to let me have it?"

She laughed at that, and said, "Did you just say 'let you have it'?"

He smiled, "I did! You have a gorgeous, sticky pie, and you really want to let me have it."

She nodded, "OH, god, I REALLY want to let you have it!"

He said, "Well then, we're on the same page. Let me REALLY have it!"

She pied him, hard, and smeared the thick, sticky pie all around his face and hair. She immediately broke up into peals of laughter. "That was AWESOME!" she laughed.

He could barely open his mouth under the sticky goo. It fell slowly from his face, like some sort of slow, caramelized whipped cream. Whatever this cream-meringue-sugar combination was, it was like getting pied with thick, gooey candy. And it tasted like vanilla.

"Oh my god!", he said, pulling goo from his mouth so he could breathe.

Anya broke up in peals of laughter. "Look at you!", she exclaimed!

She picked up another whipped cream pie, and when he wasn't expecting it (he couldn't see), smashed the pie into his crotch, pieing his cock and balls, and smeared it under to his ass.

He jumped, and laughed. "Oh, you will pay for that!"

"Promises promises! But god I hope so!"

He pulled the thick sticky pie from his eyes, and as much from his face as possible while she giggled.

She was smearing whipped cream and pie down her arms, over her shoulders, and over her breasts and body, "Hmm. I think this is good for the skin, do you think so?"

He picked up a chocolate cream pie. Smearing her breasts with both hands to try to distract him, she stopped laughing, and said, "Uh oh! Oh I hope this distracts you from throwing that pie!"

He grinned, "Why is that?"

She said, "Well, that would mean I'd get hit with another pie in the face!"

He threw the pie from a couple of feet away, and she put her face into it, taking the pie in the face full-on. Pie flew and splattered everywhere. "EERG!!" she said.

Slowly, and comically, she wiped pie from her eyes. "Now, wait a minute. You know what I DIDN'T need just now?"

He asked, "What?"

She pointed a messy finger at him, "A Pie In The Face!"

He picked up another banana cream pie.

She froze and said, "Uh oh".

He pied her again. Cream and pie were collecting on her body, and with a pied face, she resumed bathing in all of the goo.

He said, "You look fantastic! Pied is a very good look for you."

"Naked and pied!" she corrected him.

He picked up a butterscotch cream pie. "You know what else? You have a REALLY cute bellybutton".

She snorted, and laughed at that comment. Unable to see, and laughing at his comment, she wiped her eyes and looked at her navel. "Yeah! Yeah it is cute! What a funny thing to say!"

She looked up at him, and at the exact time she said "No!", he pied her. She screamed, and then cracked up laughing. She put her arms out, and started to walk toward him until her hands met his body. Still laughing, she fell toward him, one hand on his chest and the other gripping, and sliding over, his very hard cock.

As she lost her balance, the carpet being now very slick with pies and whipped cream, he fell with her, and they went to the floor in a half-embrace, half-knot of slippery, naked pied skin.

She yelped as they went down, laughing. He started to laugh, but was close enough to the credenza to pick up a banana cream pie.

"NO!", she shrieked, and tried to squirm and wrestle over him to take the pie out of his hands. She could not stop laughing, and kept sliding and slipping, off of him, unable to reach the pie.

"Come on so not fair!", she laughed, and then said, "Fine, I'll CHEAT!". Giggling, she grabbed his cock again and started to stroke him.

He groaned, and said "OH no, so not fair!"

She laughed, "Uh huh! I'm cheating!", she said, on top of him.

He pied her again, and she screamed, once again, and then collapsed on top of him, laughing hysterically. She stopped stroking him, and instead rubbed her pied face and body all over his face and body, giggling and laughing the entire time.

He slid away from her, and with both hands picked up a strawberries and cream pie. She was on all fours, and said "Hey where did you go?". Blinking cream out of her eyes, she could see him on his knees with the enormous whipped-cream pie in his hands.

"Oh no", she giggled. She scrunched up her face, expecting to be pied in the face again, but instead yelped as he smashed the pie on her ass, effectively spanking her with the pie. Cream flew up her back, all over her ass, and between her legs.

"Oh you bastard!", she laughed, and slid around to face him. She lunged and tackled him, awkwardly, ending up with arms and legs all over the place.

[----X rated from here--]

He embraced her, their bodies slipping and sliding against each other. He finally was able to get both hands on her breasts and smear cream all over them. She made very happy noises, and finally sat up on her knees, over him. He was still prone, lying in the goo of the thrown pies. She took his balls in one hand, and his cock in the other, and with messy, gooey hands, caressed and stroked him.

"Ohhhh god", he said, and watcher her above him as she grinned and stroked him.

"Oh, so you like this do you?", she said, grinning from pied ear to pied ear.

"Unnghgh", was all he could say.

"Well I love this, I love having your naked hard cock all to myself."

She slid her palm up and over the top of his cock, using the slick cream and some friction to tease him. She was tormenting him, sliding her palm, and then her thumb, all around the most sensitive part of him.

He sucked in air between his teeth, and was unable to say anything other than "Oh my god!".

Grinning, she said, "Maybe it's time to stop having pie. Would you like a sandwich?" And just as she asked, she slid her thumb around in circles, while holding his shaft, over the top of his cock while her other hand cradled his balls.

"UNNGH!!" he said, his eyes rolling backwards. Whatever she was doing, she got him with that technique!

She said, "What was that? Oh, I'll take that as a yes!".

She stopped teasing him, and slid on her knees toward the closet, where she picked up two vanilla cream pies.

Gasping for air, he watched her as she knee-walked toward the pies, parts of her jiggling as she went. "Oh, now, wait a minute.." she said as she picked up the two pies.

Grinning, she made her way over to him. He got back on his knees and faced her and said, "What's this about a sandwich?"

Still grinning, she said "I asked you if you wanted a sandwich, and you said yes!"

He chuckled and said, "All I see are two big pies, I don't see a sandwich. Where's the sandwich?".

She slammed the pies onto either side of his head, and then smeared them around to his face and to the back of his head, over the top of his head, and then finally whatever was left she applied to his cock.

"AAAGH!", he said, honestly stunned and surprised. She laughed, again, and said "You seriously did not see that coming?"

He laughed and shook his pie-engulfed head, "No!"

She broke up laughing. He wiped his eyes and flicked pie at her. She yelped, and tried to crawl over the slick carpet toward the pie closet.

"OH no you don't!" he said, and launched himself toward her.

She squealed, and laughed, and they once again wrestled in what was becoming a pile of goo. They were both, literally, covered in whipped cream and various pie filling from their hair to their toes.

He had her in his arms, but she squirmed upwards and upwards, until her breasts were in his face. He tried to slide her back down, but they were both too slick, and they ended up tangled and without any leverage.

Sliding around, and laughing, and both competing to who would be first to the remaining pies, she slid on top of him and tried for the closet. He felt his cock up against her pussy, and she felt him up against her, ready to slide in and/or slide down.

They stopped, and looked at each other. "Uh oh!", she said, and "Uh oh", he repeated.

Grinning, she slid downwards, and he slid into her just far enough for them both to exclaim. "Oh, FUCK!" he said, and she gasped, "OH my god YES!".

Suddenly, with a laugh and a gasp, she pulled herself off of him and made a lunge for the closet, laughing.

"You cheater!", he laughed, and caught her, his face at her bellybutton. He grabbed her ass to try to hold on to her, but she squirmed further up anyway.

He found himself an inch from her clit, so he let her slide before embracing her legs tightly and planting a wet, tongued kiss right onto her pie-smeared clit.

She gasped very loudly, and then exclaimed "OH!!", and stopped trying to slide toward the pie closet.

He didn't hesitate, and started to give her the best oral sex he could possible do, and without the use of his hands, which were helping to wrap her legs in his arms.

She said, "Oh, fuck! Uhhhh, huh huhooooo nooooo yesssss", and gasped a few times, her hips beginning to gyrate depending on what he was doing with his mouth and tongue at the time. Up and down, flick the button, circles, letters of the alphabet; everything he'd picked up over the years. He'd linger on techniques that elicited the most moaning and groaning.

She said, "Uhhh.. don't drown..", and he smiled. She was incredibly wet!

He could feel her begin to shake. She was lying in the goo, unable to hold herself up because her hands would slide. Her right cheek lying in some pie, and chest pressed against the slick floor.

She began to breath heavily, "Oh my GOD!", she exclaimed at one point.

"Oh fuck it, you can have the pies, do whatever you want with me!", she finally said.

Her legs shaking, and his jaw beginning to stiffen, he released his grip from her legs and used his fingers on her to assist with the techniques from his mouth.

She almost immediately orgasmed, with a loud shriek, followed by a few exclamations and groans.

When it was over, she said, "Stop, stop, stop! Oh my god!"

He stopped, and she slid off of him and rolled over on her back. He slid up next to her, and kissed her, before lying next to her and helping her tuck her head onto his chest.

She said, "Holy fuck that was the most intense orgasm I've ever had! And I masturbate a LOT, believe me. That was incredible!"

He said, "That was beautiful! And fun."

After she recovered a bit more, she said, "I know what I want to do."

She reached up and picked up a vanilla cream pie, which was a gooey vanilla filling topped with an immense amount of whipped cream.

She sat up and straddled him, which was a little challenge given that the floor was still slightly slippery, and help the pie in both hands.

"Ok!", she said, "Are you ready for a pie in the face?"

He smiled, "I've been getting pied all night, what's one more?"

She said, "Oh, no, not you. Me!" and she slammed the pie into her own face.

She really got herself good. Pie flew everywhere, and she smeared it up and over her hair, and around her head. Her face was pied again but she could open her eyes barely.

Blinking, she looked down at him as a large gooey piece of pie landed in his cock.

"This is what I want to do..", she said, and took his shaft in one hand and his balls in the other.

Slowly, she stroked up, and then over the top, and back down. Up, over, and down.

He watched her, and she didn't take her eyes off of his face. She had to blink some whipped cream out of them, but otherwise stayed pied.

He moaned. "Oh, don't stop!". Everytime she slid over the top of his cock, he felt an electricity through his body.

"Oh, I won't!", she said, smiling. This time, up his shaft, then over the top but she lingered this time, and used the palm of her hand to draw circles over the top, and then back down. Her other hand caressing and cradling his balls.

It was his turn to groan with pleasure. "Oh, you're going to make me cum if you keep doing this!"

"Oh really?", she said.

She changed it up again, this time caressing his balls as she stroked and did that over-the-top trick focusing on the top half of his shaft, where he was most sensitive.

She paused to grab a handful of pie from the top of her head, and smeared it all over his cock. It was cool, and silky, and when she resumed her handjob, even slicker and more sensual.

His back began to arch, as he made more noises. What she was doing felt so good, her hand sliding and caressing his balls, the other slick and deftly teasing the top of his cock.

She increased her speed, slowly, until finding a pace where she could stoke him in a corkscrew pattern.

He groaned, "OH don't stop.. please don't stop", and she grinned, feeling from his body language, the arch of his back, and the movement of his hips with her stroking rhythm, that he was about to explode.

Finally, like a bolt, he came and came hard!

Grinning, she aimed his cock so that he got cum on her, and also on him. She delighted to see him cum all over himself, and also in watching him cum onto her as well.

When it looked like he was finished, she leaned over and wrapped her mouth around the top of his shaft, now hyper-sensitive, and licked all around the cap and the tip. He arched his back, "HOLY fuck!" he yelled.

She took her time, and kept going even after he begged her to stop a few times.

"Mmmm! Mmm hmm! I enjoyed that! Wow you have a lot of cum!", she laughed, and leaned down and kissed him.

They kissed for a long time.