We'd been talking about being naked, which was one of our favorites states to be in when we were together. She loved to get me out of my clothes just as much as I loved to get her out of hers.

"I love a good wardrobe malfunction!", she said. "I have this fantasy where I walk into a room and my dress suddenly comes off, like stuck in a door or something."

I grinned, "I have that fantasy too - about you!"

She looked behind me at the table full of pies, and smiled. She said, "That's a lot of pies! There's no room for mine!"

"Yours?", I asked.

"Mine. I brought a bunch. Hang on, Ill go change, and then bring them out.". She left the patio and walked into the house. A few minutes later, she returned, carrying a couple of whipped-cream pies with pastry crusts. She was wearing a light dress with a very low V-cut, an open back, and with fabric that covered her nipples but showed-off the rest of her breasts. As she turned to walk back into the house to fetch more pies, I said, "That's a lot of side boob! Very nice"!

She said, over her shoulder, "That's because that's a lot of boob! I'm glad you like!"

She walked back outside with two more pies, and after a few more round-trips (which I watched eagerly!), our pie collection had grown by a dozen.

"OK", I counted, "Now that's a lot of pies!"

She grinned, "Uh huh!"

I continued, "So mine, here, are thick, gooey, somewhere between white thick batter and heavy whipped cream. Yours, there.."

She interrupted, "... mine are lots of whipped cream and some secret ingredients to make it really soft and sweet and sticky and delicious!" She took a strawberry from the bowl and dipped it into the top of one of the pies she's made. It came out thickly coated in white. She took a bite of it, "Mmmm! Oh, this came out really nicely!"

She picked up a pie, and I realized as she lifted it just how much whipped cream she'd loaded into the pie. She looked at me with a very mischievous gleam in her eyes. "Now take off your jeans.". She waggled her free hand at my jeans.

"Now, wait a minute!", I laughed. We were already in bare feet, and I was well aware that she was wearing nothing under that sexy dress. It was difficult not to just jump out of all of my clothes and flip the pie into her face, but I rolled with her sudden initiative.

I slowly undid my jeans, and her grin widened. Once our of them, and in my black boxers, I toss them over a pool-chair.

She gestured with the pie as if she was going to throw it at me. I laughed, nervously, "Hey, no, hang on!"

She waggled her free hand again, "Shirt! Off!"

"Oh, man!", I sighed, and I took off my button-down shirt. Now, down to a t-shirt and briefs, I looked into her eyes defiantly. "Now, come on!"

She mocked innocence, "Come on what? You look sexy in that tight t shirt and tight boxers! Can't I have some fun? Besides, I'm only wearing one thing, so fair is fair! Take off that t-shirt!"

I said, "Of course you can have fun! Oh, fine, just, hold on with that pie!"

She watched me slip the t-shirt off of me. "Oh, I'm holding on with the pie! Why, is the pie making you nervous?"

I tossed the t-shirt onto the chair. "No, you holding the pie is making me nervous!"

She nodded, "Ohhhh, I see! Well, I should use that to my advantage, then, shouldn't I?"

I said, "Well, you did, didn't you? Now we're both in one piece of clothing?"

She looked me up and down, grinning, and very pleased. "Yes, we are, and you are so sexy in nothing but briefs! But I've changed my mind, take them off."

I laughed, "What? Take them off? That's all I have left!"

She nodded, smiling, "Uh huh...."

"Oh, you, be careful what you ask for, I'll do it, you know. Then I'll be naked, on your patio.", I said.

She nodded again, "That's what I'm hoping for, sexy. Now prove it! Those are coming off!", she waggled her hand at me again, as if she was shooing away my underwear.

I said, "And what if I don't?"

"I have a great big whipcream pie, and believe me, I'll use it! Off, mister! Now!"

I said, "Oh, so if I lose my last piece of clothing, and have to go naked for the rest of the evening on your patio, you'll stop threatening me with a pie in the face?"

She thought about this for a moment, "Well, lets see... yes. I will stop threatening you! I'll even give you the pie. Because I'm nice that way."

"As in, you'll hand it to me, right?", I said, genuinely eager to smash that great big pie in her face, and not take a pie in my face just yet.

"Suuuuure!", she smiled.

I sighed, "Ohhh, fuck. Well, I just have to trust you, then."

"Oh, I wouldn't do thaaat, but, go ahead if that gets those briefs off of you any quicker!", she said

I slid my thumbs under my waistband, and all of a sudden I had her full attention. Grinning, she watched me as I slid them down, slowly, my now-hard cock bouncing out of the fabric and standing stiff at attention. She gasped, and smiled, "Oh my god! Oh you sexy fucker!"

I tossed the briefs to the chair, and stood there, stark naked, while she smiled.

I felt great, and loved the attention I was getting from her. "I get a kick our of how visual you are. You're such a voyeur, it's hot."

She said, "Oh yeah, I want to look at you naked pretty much all of the time."

"Feeling is mutual.", I said.

She walked closer with the pie. I said, "Ok, I'm naked now. You said you'd stop threatening me with that pie!"

She nodded, "UH huh! I did. But I never said I wouldn't give you an epic pie in the face!"

She suddenly smashed the pie into my face, and smeared it all around in wide circles. Over and over and over to thoroughly coat my face, from ear to ear, in soft, thick whipped cream. Crust fell out of the tin and bounced off of my body before hitting the tile with loud "pop"s. I stood there, and took the pie, and when she pulled the tin away, just let the immense amount of cream, and pieces of crust, slide and fall off of me. At least the cream that didn't stick to me.

She stood back and looked at me, and gasped, happily. "Oh my god!", she blurted, and started to laugh very deeply.

I was pied. Really pied, naked with an absolutely epic whipped-cream pie in the face! Pieces of crust were still sliding off of my face, and some globs of cream fell to land on my shoulders, chest, feet, and at least one splashed onto the top of my cock before hitting the tile. She laughed hard, and loudly.

"Oh my god, hahahahahahahahah!", she kept laughing. I nodded, and said, "Ok. Yep. Pie in the face!"

"AH-hahahahahahahahah! Oh look at you, so fucking HOT! God you are sexy with a pie in the face! Oh I want to just bend over and lick that cream right off of your sexy beautiful penis, but I can't stop laughing!", and she laughed again.

I smiled, "Oh, I'm so glad you're amused! And turned on!". I tried opening my eyes, and only my right eye could see. My left was under almost half of the pie and pie crust, which slowly slid from my face. Eventually, it would drop and hit the tile as well, leaving my left eye mostly clear.

Standing there, naked and pied, I made no effort to wipe my face. Through a mouth and lips laden with cream, I said, "Verrrrry funny!"

She was laughing so hard, she bent over, and straightened up again, causing the left "strap" fabric of her dress to slip. Now with her left breast uncovered by the dress, she looked at me. I blinked at her, and licked my top lip.

She snickered, and genuinely laughed again, "Pie in the face! HAAAA ha ha ha ha ahahahahhahahah!". I snorted a laugh - this was funny, watching her crack up! She bent over again, laughing, and this time the other side of her dress slipped. Somehow, this time when she straightened up, she was able to make the sides of her dress fall, and the fabric cascaded to the tile of the patio, leaving her just as nude as I was.

She was laughing, naked. And pointed at me.

"Uh huh", I said, enjoying the view of her sexy, nude body.

She kept laughing, covering her mouth and then pointing at me, and then shaking her head. She clapped her hands, and nodded, approvingly. "Uh huh!!", she nodded.

"Um..", I smiled.

"You look amazing!! God, so sexy, and so funny! A pie in the face, and you took that pie SO well!!", she laughed.

"Ahem..", I said.

She laughed hard, again, seemingly oblivious to her absolute and complete nudity.

I smiled, "Hey, look down!"

She stopped laughing, and still smiling, said "Huh?".

She looked down and them up at me. Grinning, she said, "Oh my god! I laughed so hard at your pie in the face that I lost my dress!"

She then gasped, and got into more play-acting, and feigning shock said, "Oh my god, I'm naked!"

I said, "Stark naked!"

She said, "Not a stitch! Naked!! Naaaaked! Tits out!"

"Ass bare!"

"Totally! Oh no! Oops!"

I looked her up and down, "It is a great look for you! You know what? Stay naked!"

She grinned, "You think so? Oh good! I like being naked, it is my preferred state. But I thought you were a gentleman, and you'd go get me something to wear!" She put her hands on her hips.

I picked up her dress and tossed it to the chair. She said, "Hey, wait! My dress!"

I picked up a thick, deep pie and turned to face her. She looked at me and laughed, "OH, now, waaaait a minute!"

I smashed the pie into her face, and she took it, leaning her face up slightly, with a high-pitched "EEEEMMMMPP!". I smeared it thickly, in wide circles, and absolutely coated her face from ear to ear, crown to chin, in very thick heavy, thick sticky pie filling and whipped cream. Pie fell down to flow over her shoulders, down her boobs, and sliding down the middle of her body. I took away the tin, and had a look at my handiwork. Her face was under a thick, thick layer of white pie, crust sliding down leaving a gooey trail of pie. The pie was so big, deep, and thick that it emptied and fell on her shoulders and chest with a lot of cream.

I laughed. And then said, "Oh, you look hot! This is a great look for you, naked and pied is very very sexy!"

She smiled under the face totally covered with the pie, "I though you'd get me something to wear!! I'm naked!"

"I did get you something to wear!", I laughed.

She laughed and wiped one eye so she could peek at me. "This isn't what I expected! This wasn't supposed to happen!"

I laughed again, "No? What was supposed to happen?"

She picked up a thick pie, and much more quickly than I could respond to, said, "THIS!". She pied me again, and again I took it, enjoying every second of getting a pie in the face.

Laughing, she smeared the pie all around my head, and really gave it to me good. Pie and cream fell and dripped all over me, and she used her hands to smear it over my shoulders, all over my chest, and down to my penis and balls, smearing it all over me. She said, "Oh, I'm enjoying this!"

I gasped, "Me too", and picked up a pie. I asked, "You know the only thing I like as much as taking a pie in the face from you?"

She bit her bottom lip (I knew that it turned her on when I told her I liked to be pied by her), "No?", she kept smearing cream all around my cock, something she loved to do that made us both turned on.

I said, "Oh, why, give you a pie in the face, of course."

She stoked me very slowly, "But I'm enjoying myself, I love how your smooth cock feels in my hands. Give me a pie in the face?"

She really, really wanted a pie in the face. She turned her face to mine, smiling, practically inviting me to pie her. "Well, if you insist!"

I smashed another pie in her face, and she spluttered a laugh. As the pie fell in globs of whipped cream, coating her face yet again and adding even more pie and cream to the top of her head and her hair, she leaned in to kiss me. We made out under the several pies we'd both taken in the face, our tongues playing around cream coated lips, and sweet pie filling. My fingers slid to her breasts, and teased her nipples, now slippery-sticky from pie that I smeared down around her arms and breasts from her neck and shoulders.

She gasped, and kissed me more intensely. I kissed back, and with my other hand slid down to her clit, where I started to tease her lightly. She gasped again, and slid down to kiss my own nipple. She licked and bit, and then slid down to the crown of my penis.

She grasped me with both hands, and started to lick and kiss the crown and shaft playfully and lightly. "My time to play", she said, and then took me in her mouth, tracing my shape with her tongue and lips. She kissed me from the tip, down the shaft, and back up again, licking, teasing, and having her own fun at my expense. I gasped, I moaned, I was loud.

She loved that I was so loud when she teased me like this, but also said that it wasn't about me, it was all about her. She wanted her mouth on my cock, and had an oral fetish that went along with her pie in the face kink. As she enjoyed herself on me, and I was being kept on the edge of ecstasy/massive orgasm, I picked up a whipped cream pie.

She sensed that I'd done something. "What", she said between motions of exquisite torture, ".. are you doing?"

I said, "Preparing to demonstrate a whipped-cream pie in the face"

"And who", she said, "are you going", she continued, "to demonstrate on?"

I said, "You!"

She gave the head of my cock one good, loving, sucking kiss and stood up. "What?"

I smashed the pie in her face, and once again smeared it all over her head. Ear to ear, all over her hair, and covering and coating her face in thick whipped cream. This time, after I dtopped the tin, I smeared the cream all over her breasts, and squeezed and caressed them, creaming them until they were coated in white and her nipples were cream-coated bumps under layers of pie.

She gasped, and moaned a happy, happy sound. She pulled pie and cream from her head and neck and joined my hands in pieing her boobs. I said, "And, oh yeah, I pied your tits."

"You pied my tits!", she repeated, her face under a sheet of whipped cream, her lips coated in pie.

I picked up another pie. She asked, "Oh, where did you go?"

I said, "I picked up another pie or two!"

Still unable to see, she laughed, "Oh, no! Oh god!", and as she wiped one eye to look at me, smiling a pied-face wide smile, she repeated, "Oh NO!".

"SPLAT!", I tossed the pie, giving her another pie in the face. It was my turn to laugh, and I said, "Oh, I do love a good pie in the face!" I tossed the second pie right after the first, and she took it, standing already creamed from the top of her head to her hips. Two pies now plastered her face and head, and dripped and fell and oozed down her bare (but cream coated) skin.

Grinning, and now relentlessly pied, she said, "Me too.." in a pie-muffled voice.

I embraced her, and she squealed at the pie on our bodies slipped and squished against each other. We felt great together, our bodies embracing, and I kissed her. She had to blow cream out of her nose, and we laughed, and then made out under a riduclous, and erotic, thick layer of pie and cream that had engulfed pretty much her entire head. My hand slid to her clit again, and I teased her more intensely then before.

"Pied and fingered.. my favorite plan for you!", I said.

She said, "Oh fuck, bring it on, I love this.."

She was slick, and soft, and hot under my fingers, and after months of dating and sex and 3am romps, I knew what she liked and what made her over the moon. She'd taught me, of course, and vice-versa. Unable to see, her face under layers of pie and cream, she let herself go into the pleasure of my hand all over her sex. I slid, I stroked, I flicked, I followed her lead until she hugged me, hard, and squeezed me as hard as she could as she had a loud, intense orgasm.

I kept going, and she was breathing heavily. She wiped her eyes and looked at me, and kissed me deeply, passionately, and very intensely. Her hips rocked against the motion of my hands, and when she couldn't kiss me anymore for the deep breaths she needed, she took a handful of cream from her neck and started to stroke my cock.

That got a loud reaction from me, and we both drove each other wild for a while. She somehow kept me on the edge for a moment, until the feeling of my creamed, hard penis her hand and my fingers teasing and massaging her clit gave her a sudden, second orgasm when I started to talk about how I wanted to pick her up, naked, and drop her face-first into a pool filled with whipped cream and marshmallow.

Once she recovered and gently moved my hand away, "sensitive" she gasped, She hugged me and pressed her pied body against mine.

After a minute or two, she recovered, and wiped her face. Looking at me, she kissed me and said, "You sexy fucker!", and turned to pick up two pies.

I looked at her, also smiling, "Oh.. no!", I said, and she stepped close to me with a smouldering expression. "Fuck, you look good pied..", she said and then smashed the two pies all over my head, dragging them up and down my body. She was merciless in pieing me, absolutely covering my head with the pies, and smearing a thick coating of cream from my neck to my balls.

I took it, loving every second. "Oh.. god!", I exclaimed.

"Not yet", she said, breathily, and started stroking my cock with her cream-filled hand while cupping and massaging my balls with the other.

It felt incredible. I barely gasped, "Oh, fuck, you're going to make me cum...", and she replied, "Oh, yes, yes I am!"

I couldn't see. The thick, cool creamy pies covered my face and head, and felt heavy as they dripped and fell down my neck, shoulders, and chest.

She said, "Oh, fuck, you are so sexy pied. I'm serious, I love how you look pied, it turns me on - nuclear!". She wasn't kidding, either. Her favorite pics of me in her "spank bank" were of me naked, hard, and pied once or twice. Her third favorite was of us both pied, and her on hew knees with her mouth on my cock. But I digress.

It didn't take long, as she stroked and slid and teased me, finally doing the one thing I loved and couldn't resist even if I thought about all of the baseball since the beginning of time. "Oh, FUCK!" I yelled.

"Uh huh..", she smiled, watching me as I suddenly came and seized into an intense, deep orgasm.

She kept stroking as I came hard, and all over her. "Oh! Wow.. you came and came and came and came! God, that is hot I could watch you all day!", she said, and then kissed me very very deeply. I kissed back, and we made out again while I tried to recover, and not fall to the tile with weak knees.

The tile was slick with pie, so we had to be careful, but we made it into the house and into the shower. After a very long, steamy, drain-clogging cleanup, we were embracing and looking into each other's eyes.

After a while, I said, "You know, we have nearly a dozen-and-a-half pies left out there.

She grinned, and made a sudden move. Naked, her hair still wet, she ran to the patio.

I chased her, only to find her grinning, laughing, and half-hunched over, holding a pie and starting to circle me.

I waved my finger, "No! No, no no no no no no no no no!"

She laughed, and lunged.

"SPLAT!"