Curtis felt pretty confident as he entered the meeting room and took a seat at the table. Sitting opposite him was his boss Maxine and a young woman from HR that he didn't recognise. Maxine flashed him a brief smile before formerly starting the interview; she began by reading out the company's employee promotion process and highlighted that they could only evaluate candidates based upon what was said at the meeting.

"Why are you interested in this role?" Maxine asked, looking up from her notes.

Having expected this opening question or something very similar, Curtis reeled off his prepared response about it being the next logical step in his career progression. Next Maxine began asking a series of questions to test his competence and skills, these would frequently mean reflecting on prior work to illustrate his experience or suggesting solutions to hypothetical problems. A couple of times Curtis had to take a moment or two to think carefully before answering, however he felt sure that he was doing well, and the job was in the bag.

After a while Maxine stopped talking and nodded to the HR rep. The HR woman asked Curtis a couple of straightforward procedural questions before Maxine wrapped up their part of the interview and asked Curtis if he had any questions of them. Curtis mentally reviewed the short list of unknowns he'd considered beforehand, discarding those that had already come up.

"When can I expect to hear the results of this interview?" he queried.

The HR woman answered that they had other people to interview first before they could come to any decision. Maxine added that she hoped to be in a position to announce the successful applicant at the team's general meeting at the end of the week.

* * *

Rosemary was on her phone when Curtis arrived at the cafe. He carefully draped his suit jacket over the back of the chair, before loosening his tie and sitting down. Rosemary indicated she'd only be a short while so Curtis pulled out his phone and after scanning the QR code on the table, ordered them both a flat white. The waitress arrived with their order just as Rosemary was finishing her call.

"So, how'd the interview go?" she questioned him.

"Pretty sure I aced it" Curtis replied.

They clinked coffee cups in celebration and Curtis described as best he could both the questions asked and his answers. Rosemary nodded along encouragingly as Curtis talked and chipped in with the odd question to show she was paying attention. In the end it took almost as long to recount the interview as it had to actually attend it. As Curtis swallowed the remains of his drink, which was now stone cold, Rosemary revealed her little piece of office gossip.

"I hear Jan is also up for the job" she announced.

Jan was a relative newcomer to the team although she'd held a similar position in a rival company beforehand. She and Curtis had quickly established a friendly rivalry since her joining and so he shouldn't have been surprised that she'd also applied for the promotion.

With her news delivered, Rosemary took the opportunity to head out leaving Curtis on his own. He deliberated for a while whether or not to order a second coffee but in the end headed out in search of something else. One problem with being the only man in a team otherwise staffed entirely by women was that if a group of them did go out after work it was more likely to be to a cocktail bar or restaurant rather than a traditional pub for a decent beer. Unfortunately, with the office being based in the city there was a notable absence of real boozers, with far too many wine bars or pretentious gastropubs for Curtis' liking.

In the end Curtis' wandering took him to a slightly run-down looking club that advertised real cask ales. He'd never been there before and so didn't realise what he'd walked into until it was too late, and the doorman had checked his ID and taken the entry fee. Inside it was clear this was a strip joint with the female servers dressed in skimpy uniforms and a half naked woman on stage wearing a bobby's helmet and using a truncheon in a very suggestive manner much to the appreciation of the watching audience. Curtis ignored the stripper and headed straight to the bar.

"What can I get you love?" the server asked.

"Pint of bitter please" Curtis answered.

A minute later and minus five pounds, Curtis carried his drink over to a small table located as far away from the stage as possible. Not that he was a prude or anything, but he'd come out for a drink and not entertainment. So, he didn't pay much attention of what was going on around him and almost spilled his drink when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

Curtis looked up into the big blue eyes of a young woman who was bending over him. She was very attractive despite the red rubber nose she had on. Taking a moment to actual look at her, Curtis could see she was meant to be some kind of a sexy clown with her hair in pigtails and wearing a tight-fitting polka dot leotard and pink tutu. It was clear that she was expecting some kind of response from him, but Curtis was at a loss to know what.

"I asked if you'd like to be my stooge?" the woman repeated.

Luckily before Curtis got a chance to reply, a colourful group of guys at one of the tables nearer the stage began waving money at her. She gave Curtis a friendly shrug before heading over to the group and pulling one of them up on stage with her. It seemed they were a stag party and the groom-to-be had been volunteered to be her assistant. The gormless man was sat on a chair whilst the woman began to tease him; first running her hands over him or blowing him kissing before sitting on his lap and beginning to grind herself against his crotch.

"Bet you wish you'd accepted her offer now" someone called at Curtis.

Just as things were getting too raunchy, the woman stood up and reached over to the side of the stage. She brought out a cream pie and smash it into the shocked face of her poor victim. As his mates laughed and cheered her on, the sexy clown brought out more pies and proceeded to barrage the man with pie after pie until he was completely coverage in cream fillings. Once the pies ran out, she stripped off her costume and danced around him nude before exiting the stage.

Curtis wasn't sure exactly what to make of what he'd just witnessed. He was however very grateful that he'd not volunteered and gotten thoroughly humiliated like the poor man on stage. Deciding to call it a day, Curtis necked the rest of his pint and headed home.

* * *

The following day Curtis arrived at work to discover the gossip mill in full swing. It was clear that his colleagues were aware that both Jan and he were competing for the same position. The chatter would die down as he approached and then build up again once he passed on. He tried to ignore it as he made his way over to his desk.

As he sat down, he noticed that Rosemary was waving at him from her corner position. He waved back before realising that she wasn't saying hello but trying to subtly beckon him. He glanced around to make sure no one was actually watching him and then grabbed a couple of folders from his in tray and made his way nonchalantly across the office and sat down next to her desk. He opened one of the folders, pretending that he was consulting with Rosemary on some work-related matter.

"There's a pool going for who gets the promotion" she stated.

"Put me down for a tenner" Curtis responded.

Rosemary gave him a nod and he returned to his own desk to get some work done; after all it wouldn't look good is he started slacking off just as he was vying for a senior role at the company. So, he knuckled down and worked hard that morning progressing many of his ongoing tasks and even completed a couple of them before lunchtime.

Lunch itself was a tuna baguette enjoyed in the breakroom with Rosemary and a couple of female colleagues from accounting. The conversation was pretty stifled as company policy frowned upon talk of promotions and clearly Curtis wasn't going to mention his experiences of the strip club the previous evening in a room filled with woman. With lunch over, Curtis got back to work and made a few calls to progress his projects. He worked past quitting time, saying goodbye to Rosemary at five and continuing to work until is started to get dark outside.

On his way out Curtis passed by Jan's area of the office. He would have stopped for a brief chat, but she had her back to him and was engaged on her phone. Curtis didn't intend to overhear what was being said but he simply could avoid it.

"Yes, they offered me it this morning and I accepted" Jan said down the phone.

Almost stumbling with surprise Curtis was lucky to make it out without Jan noticing. He couldn't quite believe what he'd just learnt. He'd spent the past seven years working is finger to the bone for the company and they'd given his promotion to someone who had barely been there five minutes. It didn't sit well with him at all, and he knew he had to do something about it but at the moment was too upset to think clearly.

* * *

The next day at work Curtis felt off. Whilst he didn't blame Jan for getting the promotion he didn't think he'd been treated fairly and began to think that Maxine didn't like him. Well, he'd show her he thought to himself. Initially he got nothing done and then when he did start working it was only to update his resume which took most of the morning. By lunchtime he'd calmed down somewhat and had decided not to do anything too drastic such as marching into his boss' office and telling her what he now thought of her.

But he couldn't settle and had developed an upset stomach. So, he popped by HR and told them he wasn't feeling well and would be taking the rest of the afternoon off. They noted the absence in his records and hoped he recovered soon. Curtis didn't say goodbye to anyone but simply left the building and started wandering the streets.

"Here again?" someone said.

Curtis looked up to see that his roaming had taken him back to the strip club from last night and it was the same doorman. He paid the entry fee and went over to the bar for a drink. On stage was a woman wearing a smart skirt suit who was slowing undressing to a disco beat. Curtis paid for a pint and then sat down at an out of the way table. By this time the stripper had removed her jacket to reveal a surgically enhanced chest currently only restrained by a flimsy bra.

As he sipped his drink, Curtis pondered what he was going to do. Yes, he would certainly be applying for posts at other companies especially now that he had his resume sorted out but that didn't seem enough. He needed to get back at Maxine and that's when inspiration struck.

What about if Maxine was humiliated as he'd been, and in public so that the whole office could see. He thought about the groom-to-be yesterday as his surprise and horror as he'd been stuck with custard pies by the sexy clown and imagined Maxine suffering the same fate but only worse. In fact, now he thought about it, why got get the clown to do the pieing as he suspected most strippers would be only too happy to earn a little extra cash on the side. His mind made up he looked around for a schedule for the stage before approaching the server at the bar.

"Is the clown girl from last night due to perform today?" he asked the woman.

"Yes, in about an hour honey" the server replied.

Curtis grabbed himself another pint and sat down to wait. The top-heavy stripper finished her act, and another woman stepped on to the on stage. This one was dressed as a nurse assuming the NHS insisted on their staff wearing fishnet stocking and uniforms that were two sizes too small. Curtis barely looked at her as he bided his time.

Occasionally women would enter the club and head into the backrooms. Each time Curtis would glance at them to see if it was the one he wanted. After about forty minutes the women arrived. She looked a little different without her hair in pigtails and wearing a red nose, but Curtis was pretty sure it was her. He gently stood up and made his way over towards her in as non-threatening and friendly manner as he could.

"Excuse me," he began "could I have a word?"

The woman seemed at little hesitant at first, but Curtis pointed to a table in the middle of the floor and within clear sight of the bar and the server. He offered to get the woman a drink, but she refused although did walk with him over to the table and sat down.

Curtis explained that he wanted to hire the woman based upon her performance that he'd seen last night. He described his awful boss and how she'd unjustly passed him over for promotion and needed to be brought down a peg or two. At first the woman didn't seem to be keen on the idea but Curtis clarified that it wouldn't involve any stripping on her part, simply pieing someone to within an inch of their life, and that he was willing to pay her double what she got for a performance here for just a couple hours of work. She finally agreed and wrote down her name and number on a napkin before handing it to Curtis.

* * *

Two days later Curtis was letting Anita in the back door of the building. He wasn't sure if Anita was the woman's real name or her stage name but guessed that it didn't really matter either way. She saw that she was carrying a couple of heavily laden bags and so offered to take one was they made their way up the stairs to the second floor.

Curtis had booked one of the corner meeting rooms and showed Anita into it. Fortunately, there was no one else around as they entered. Once inside Antia immediately started unpacking various items from the bag including flan cases, cartons of custard, squirty cream, various sweet sauces as well as some already prepared desserts. She also revealed that she was wearing a more modest version of her usual clown costume under her business attire, which included tights alongside the tutu and a bra under her leotard.

"So, what's this evil boss look like?" Anita asked.

Having already thought ahead, Curtis pulled out his phone and showed Anita some photos of Maxine that he had took over the years. Of course the ones he selected all showed his boss in non-flattering situations such as the one from the company volunteer day where she'd gotten dirt on her clothes after rescuing a kitten from a hedge or the time she'd arrived at the office with her hair in a mess after surviving a gale outside.

Anita nodded and got back to assembling her ammunition. She unpacked the cases and rapidly filled them with custard and then topped that with cream and a drizzle of sauce. Curtis had managed to snatch a trolley from the office next door so the pair of them loaded it with the completed desserts as they occasionally heard the sounds of other people in the open office outside. Luckily no one barged into the meeting room, and it wasn't long before they were finished.

"Are you still sure about this?" Anita questioned him.

"Absolutely, let's do this" Curtis stated.

Anita nodded her acceptance, and Curtis handed her an envelope with the agreed fee. He then carefully opened the door, making sure that no one could see inside, and stepped out. In the office people were starting to arrive for the regular end of the week team meeting.

* * *

Maxine drew the meeting to a start and after covering a couple items of routine admin asked Jan and Curtis to join her upfront. As the pair made their way over to the boss, Curtis noticed Anita make her way from the room next door and stand at the back behind his teammates. A couple of people noticed her join in but as it wasn't uncommon for colleagues from other parts of the business to attend the meetings, thought nothing of it; especially as she seemed to be dressed much like the rest of the office.

"I have some good news, but first some sad" Maxine declared.

She went on to surprise everyone with news that Jan would be leaving shortly to take up a senior post with her previous employer. Curtis was shocked at the announcement, and it was clear that so was everyone else. People weren't sure whether to applaud or offer Jan condolences. Whilst everyone was distracted with the surprising news, Anita slipped out of her jacket and skirt, pulled her hair into crude ponytails and put on a red nose.

"And in good news," Maxine revealed "Curtis is being promote to product lead."

Curtis was dumbfounded by the announcement as his colleagues reacted with polite applause. He was just about to thank everyone when he noticed Anita stepping forward to make her move on an unsuspecting Maxine. Without thinking he reacted by stepping between his boss and the woman he'd hired to humiliate her. Unfortunately, Anita had already committed herself to striking and the pie intended for Maxine instead impacted against Curtis' disbelieving face.

There was a moment of silence in the office as no one could quite believe what had just happened. His colleagues were stunned by the pieing and didn't know what to think. Curtis was mortified he'd been hoisted by his own petard and humiliated so publicly. And even Anita seems a little surprised at what had just happened. Then abruptly Jan burst out laughing and soon the whole office joined in.

As Curtis tried to wipe the cream from his face in a vain attempt to maintain a little dignity, he saw Anita wheeling the trolley he had supplied over toward him. To his surprise she selected a cream pie from among the many they'd prepared earlier and then bent over to whisper in his ear.

"Might as well get your money's worth" Anita muttered.

"Please don" he started.

Before Curtis could complete his plea, Anita stuck. Once again, he suffered a creamy dessert smashed into his face. However, this time it was very deliberate, and Anita showed no mercy. She held on to the pie and began to grind it around before slowly smearing it up into Curtis' hair. Eventually she left the now empty case resting on top of his head as she returned to the trolley for further ammunition as Curtis' colleagues looked on sniggering.

Deciding his best course of action to avoid further humiliation was to leave, Curtis tried walking away but unfortunately his colleagues seem to have other ideas and blocked his escape. Meanwhile Anita had rearmed herself with a couple of cream pies and stepped up to behind him and sandwiched Curtis' head between a pair of pies.

"Seems you're my stooge after all" Anita stated.

Thinking back to what he'd witnessed at the strip club, Curtis could now sympathise totally with the poor groom-to-be. He also knew that there was a lot more to come and he wasn't wrong as Anita slapped a pie against his chest messing up his jacket, tie and shirt in just one strike. More followed as she deposited pies on both his shoulders and then forced him to turn around and lifted up the back of his jacket.

It didn't take a genius to know what was about to happen next and Curtis braced himself as his colleagues yelled out a short countdown before Anita spanked him firmly on the bottom with a pie. All shred of dignity now long gone, a red-faced Curtis turned to face his female boss and workmates only to see Anita standing there waiting with another pie in hand and a malicious grin playing upon her face. She taunted him by thrusting the pie towards his face before stopping, then repeating her action a second time before finally adjusting her aim and thrusting the pie against his crotch much to Curtis' obvious discomfort.

This provoked hoots and laugher from his colleagues as Anita took the opportunity to rearrange the remaining pies on the trolley, so they were all within easy reach. Curtis was dismayed to realise that only about half the pies had been used up and there were still plenty remaining. But instead of assaulting him further, Anita simply took a pie and held it out.

"So, who else wants to pie him?" Anita asked.

"Me first!" Maxine exclaimed.

Curtis' boss took the pie from Anita and smashed it into his face. Next up was Jan who gave him a brief smile before slam dunking a pie on top of his head. Then the rest of Curtis' colleagues unloaded on him one after another as he was hit with pie after pie in the face. Even the two colleagues from accounting joined in as did the HR rep from his promotion interview. Finally, there was just one person left, his best friend Rosemary. He just shrugged in resignation as she smashed the last pie into his face all the while giggling.

* * *

Curtis spent the next couple of hours in the gents, partly in an attempt to clean himself up and partly to avoid his colleagues. He couldn't believe what had happened, he'd been completely mistaken about who was getting the promotion and he'd been stupid in hiring Anita to humiliate his boss because of it. Of course, he'd been even more stupid to step into the path of a pie.

Finally gathering what remained of his wits and wounded pride, Curtis emerged from the toilets to discover the office was virtually empty. Anita was gone and so were all but one of his work colleagues, he saw Jan waiting around for him with a smirk still playing upon her face. As Curtis walked over toward her, he noticed that someone had cleaned up all the cream pie remnants that had piled up on the floor during his humiliating escapade and also that the trolley he and Anita had borrowed had been returned to the office next door.

"I'm glad I didn't get the promotion if that's the initiation ceremony" Jan stated.

Curtis couldn't help but chuckle in response. He was extremely glad that Anita hadn't revealed who'd actually hired her and god willing his colleagues would never uncover the truth. Jan explained that Maxine and the rest of the office had already headed to the nearby cafe to celebrate his promotion. Curtis had hoped to put of the inevitable teasing from his colleagues for longer but reluctantly accepted his fate as Jan escorted him there.

The end.