Today I thought I'd reflect on my story of how I went from being a closet fetishist to openly sharing my intimate exploits online. For many years, I was afraid to even be caught looking at this site! I used to actively try to push my messy thoughts out of my head and I really tried to separate them from my thoughts about sex, because it made me feel guilty. As a youngster, I used to love to watch messy game shows. I couldn't believe it when I saw that mud-covered kid at Woodstock 94 eat the mud after he was dared. Something about seeing all those people get completely covered in mud while wearing their street clothes totally aroused me. I was oddly fascinated. At first, it kinda grossed me out, and I couldn't imagine what it would feel like. I always like to look good when I'm in public and the total humiliation of all the people gawking and taking pictures when you're at your absolute worst, I would die! And I always imagined that if you get muddy at a festival that you're stuck in those clothes and there's nowhere to wash up. What would drive a person to abandon the idea of seeing the bands you paid to see and decide to flop around in the mud? I would never! But something about the humiliating aspect was a big part of what turned me on. I didn't take pictures the first times I got messy or muddy (the first many times!) and if I did, I'd always destroy them later on, for fear that someone might see them. But then, somewhere along the line I thought why not share them and see what people think. And to my surprise, people thought my pictures were hot! So eventually I got bold enough to share videos, and the reactions have been overwhelmingly positive! So here I am. I've formed friendships with a lot of you, and I'm still very humbled and flattered by your comments, especially the ones from younger men! Y'all are too kind. Thanks for all the positivity! The community here has helped turn what used to be a source of pain and shame into something life-affirming and beautiful. There's still lots of people who I'd never share my fetish with, but I feel at home here. I really don't appreciate people who weren't born with this fetish, and are just here to capitalize on it. Their work comes across as disingenuous and in my eyes they're just purveyors of my passion. The site is full of them. (Jayce is a rare exception. She seems to get it.) And don't get me started on AI! Why is it allowed here??? Like, I doubt I'd have anything to talk about with the fakers that are just here to make a buck, but the real ones... well, they just get me. And that's priceless.