Ladies get booked for the calendar for a number of reasons, some for publicity, some to raise cash for charity, some just to be in with the trendy crowd, some for other reasons. The photos from each month form the printed calendar, which is sold to raise cash for the cause. The multiple camera video version is sold for a further premium. Ladies can manage their own entry or can be helped out by 'Helping Hands' the masked calendar manager who bears a striking resemblance to the Phantom Flan Flinger from Tiswas of many years ago.

In truth Kim Kardashian's desire for fame has led her to volunteer for the calendar without really understanding what is involved, she just knows it gets lots of likes and cool women do it so she has turned up to fit it in just before her dinner appointment! Kim was told when she booked that a 'helper' could 'sort everything out' if she liked, so of course she agreed!

Kim comes onto the stage in a strapless golden bandage dress with a silver clutch bag some very high, golden, open toe shoes, some chunky bangles and some large earrings. Her hair is long falling past her impressive breasts in gentle waves, it looks freshly done for the dinner date. Kim spots HH and hurries over to him, after all she is on a schedule. This probably also explains why she is not really conscious of all the food on the side boards.

HH shepherds Kim to the front of the stage and explains they need a starting shot. Kim is on sound ground here and strikes an alluring pose for the camera, lips slightly parted, hip out, playing with her hair. Of course, Kim's attention to the camera means she does not register that HH has selected and picked up a huge cream pie with strawberry slices on for decoration and some chocolate sprinkles.

Kim is striking yet another pose, sure she has nearly finished this appearance off in record time when she notices HH stepping up next to her. Kim registers the huge cream pie in HH's hand a moment before it goes right in her face! Cream (and strawberries) spray out over Kim's bare shoulders. Cream thickly covers her face, becoming more evenly spread as HH rubs the pie around. Kim stands in shock arms outfield with the pie stuck to her face, blobs of cream in her dark hair.

After a moment Kim reaches up and drags the pie plate off her mucky face. But HH is prepared with a plum pudding pie of the same large size as the first pie. HH pushes this second pie in Kim's face with the same expert precision. The light purple pudding of the pie spreads out over Kim's features, a wonderful contrast to the first white cream pie. More mess sprays out over Kim's shoulders, more blobs of pudding get into her long hair.

Kim is quicker this time peeling the card plate off her face and wiping her eyes but HH is still ready for her, this time with a light creamy lemon pudding pie, this follows the first two desserts, right into Kim's face! By now the front of Kim's head is thickly plastered and her shoulders pretty much covered. Kim's fantastic hairdo is also pretty much ruined.

Kim is still clutching her silver clutch bag through all this. HH plucks it from Kim's grasp as she struggles to clear her sight. Kim gets her vision back just in time to see HH filling her bag with rich chocolate syrup! Kim makes a sound of shock and horror as the bag and its contents are ruined.

Kim seems to have a moment to rally her and seems to be about to take HH to task but with deft precision HH reaches out, grasps the front Kim's dress and firmly pulls it down! Kim's large breasts pop right out of the dress! This induces, in Kim, another moment of shocked paralysis. So HH is able to select a raspberry pudding flan and to rub it over Kim's left boob with unhurried ease. HH's next choice is a lime pudding flan of suitably large size; this gets rubbed over Kim's right boob.

Kim really is looking in a bit of a state now but HH is in full flow and more is too come! HH bends down and grabs the hem of Kim's dress and pulls the whole thing up over Kim's curvaceous hips! Kim's once elegant dress is now a mess spotted bunched up band round her stomach. Kim is revealed to be wearing a skimpy white thong as underwear.

If Kim was slow to react before, this abject humiliation has bought her to a complete halt! HH has time to bring up a simple swivel office chair to sit in profile to the camera. On the chair sits a huge 50cm diameter, 25cm deep lemon cream cake. HH moves the passive Kim to stand in front of the chair and then pulls her back by the shoulders so she sits right in the cake! Kim's generous behind crushes even this large cake, pulped mess oozing down the back of her thighs and out from under her bottom.

The swivel chair allows HH to turn Kim to face the camera and then HH takes his time pouring three jugs of custard in Kim's lap, down her thighs and over her shoes! Kim seems to decide she needs to get out of this chair and she stands up unsteadily, her custard-soaked shoes making this a bit tricky. The cake mess over Kim's behind is thick and lumpy, a good zoom in shot of it is obtained.

Kim gets upright and facing the audience but her nemesis is there with a bucket! This clear, large bucket is full of baked beans! After a moment of anticipation HH does the right thing and puts the bucket right over Kim's head! Beans run thickly down Kim, down her back, round her pied boobs. HH leaves the bucket in place, takes a chocolate pudding pie and rubs it between Kim's legs! Only then does HH lift the bucket off Kim's head. The beans have of course had a disastrous effect on Kim's hair but just o make sure HH pats a cream flan down on top of Kim's head.

It is this wonderful sight that makes the final photo!