Lynzey had been a long time in the shower, which was no surprise really given what I'd just put her through. I was downstairs in my student house on another Saturday afternoon watching some rubbish on TV. I was looking forward to her coming downstairs.

Eventually, she did, wearing just a dressing gown. "It takes a long time to get treacle out of your hair!" she said.

"Haha, I bet it does!" I replied.

She sat down next to me and lifted her legs up onto the couch, then she rested her bare feet on my lap. She should've known better than that given what I'm into. I wrapped my left arm around both her ankles and lifted her feet slightly. Her soles were soft and pink and her toes were waterlogged from how long she'd spent in the shower. My right hand was free and Lynzey knew what I was about to do.

"Oh no, you wouldn't?" she pleaded.

I ran my fingers around the soles of her feet and listened to her tittering.

"Hahahahahahahahaha, hahaha that really tickles!"

I moved up to her toes, which she was wiggling and squirming furiously. I dug my fingers in between and under them.

"Hehehehehe, stop! Don't you think you've punished me enough today? Hahahaha!"

I laughed. She had certainly had it pretty heavy this afternoon!

---

"I've brought the school uniform again," Lynzey said the minute she got through the door. "Want me to get it on?"

There was never any pussyfooting about with Lynzey, she was here to get messy and she didn't want to waste any time doing it.

"Well, there's a change of schedule today," I answered, as I put the mortar board hat on my head. "We're going to have a PE lesson." (PE is what we call Gym, if you're an American reader).

Lynzey put her hands to her face in mock horror. "Oh no sir, I've forgotten my kit!" she said.

"Tut tut, Harris. You know what that means, don't you?"

She gulped in cartoon-like fashion. I think she did know what it meant.

"You're gonna have to do it in your underwear!"

She broke character and laughed for a minute, then she slowly unbuttoned her black faux leather top and pulled it off, revealing a nice pink bra. She then took off her Converses and black and white striped socks. Then she undid her black skirt, let it fall to her bare feet and stepped out of it. She stood in front of me in her matching pink bra and knickers, she had even painted her fingernails and toenails pink. Maybe she'd get tickled pink later, I thought.

"I'm ready for the lesson, sir!" she beamed.

"Excellent! Well, since it's such a nice day, let's do it outside."

I walked to the back door, with my scantily clad WAM babe following right behind me. We walked out onto the patio at the back of the house.

"OK, stand against the wall." I instructed.

Lynzey did as she was asked. She looked slightly nervous but excited at the same time. I could tell she wasn't too bothered about being outdoors in her underwear. It was unlikely anybody was looking anyway.

"OK, we're going to do a jumping exercise," I told her, as I reached for a hosepipe. "Your job is to dodge the water!"

"Sounds fun, sir!" she said happily.

"Be warned though, a poor performance will be punished, in my trademarked way!"

I turned on the hose, and Lynzey started bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet as if warming up.

I started with the water spraying against the wall to her right, then I quickly zoomed it across her legs at ankle height. She anticipated and jumped, successfully avoiding getting wet. I then moved it back from her left to her right, and she managed to clear the hose again. Even though she was still dry, it was good fun watching her tits bounce up and down as she jumped.

"Good," I said. "Now let's move the hose a bit higher". This was soon going to get very unfair.

Lynzey was poised on her tiptoes, knowing she'd need to really leap this time. I whizzed the jet of water across her at knee height. She tuck-jumped athletically and impressively made it. I moved it back across her at the same height. She jumped again but this time the water just caught the big toe on her right foot.

"Not quite a clean jump there, Harris," I said. "And now the hose is getting higher!"

I notched it up to waist height. Lynzey knew she wasn't going to dodge a drenching this time and started to giggle. I moved the spray across her and she barely even jumped. Her crotch got soaked with cold water. I then moved back across her body and hosed her pierced belly. She threw her hands down and sank her shoulders, indicating she had given up.

I hadn't given up though, of course, and moved up to her tits. I raised the angle of the hose so that it shot right down her cleavage. Her nipples were hard and her wringing wet bra wasn't hiding them too well.

I gave her a couple of up and downs from the shoulders to the toes, then moved on to my personal favourite part the face! Lynzey scrunched her eyes tight, knowing what was coming as I made a vertical line up her body and into her face. Fair play to her, she didn't flinch, turn away, raise her hands or anything she just stood and accepted the cold, powerful jet of water to the face for a good ten seconds or more.

When I was satisfied that she was soaked through, I turned off the hose and walked over to her. "Soaking wet eh, Harris?" I teased. I pulled at the back of her knickers and pointed the still dripping hose down them. She shrieked as she felt the cold water around her intimate parts, then laughed.

"Now, I did warn you that I would not accept a below par performance from you here." I said sternly.

"What are you going to do to me, sir?" she said sweetly. She had that sexy, innocent look again, as she lifted her left foot to the back of her right knee to rub off some of the water dripping down her legs.

"Well, you don't appear to have learned your lesson from detention last time. I think you're in need of further discipline."

"Oh no, not more pies in the face sir! I've learned my lesson! Please!" She clasped her hands together, as if praying for mercy.

"This is no more enjoyable for me than it is for you, young lady," I said. That was probably true actually, she seemed to get just as turned on from being messed up as I did from messing her up. I grabbed her around the waist and hoisted her over my shoulder. She gave a silly scream and kicked her legs. I carried her back into the house, up the stairs and into the bedroom, which had been suitably decked out for her punishment.

The room was bare, I'd moved everything out of it, except a trolley stacked with messy stuff. The floor had been covered with plastic sheeting and on top of that was a generous layer of flour.

I gently put Lynzey down. "OK, now lie down on the floor, please."

Lynzey lay down horizontally on a flour-free part of the floor. I held her hands and guided them so that she was stretching out above her head. She then stretched her feet and pointed her toes, making herself as long and thin as possible.

"First up, Harris, you're gonna get put through the Human Rolling Pin punishment!" I announced. Lynzey couldn't avoid a little smile she was going to enjoy this. I slipped my hands under her back and rolled her over so that she was stomach-down in the flour. I carried on rolling her like a rolling pin through all the flour on the floor. Because she was soaking wet, the flour turned into a paste on her body, clinging to her bare skin and limited clothing. Her legs and feet were covered in the stuff and her hair, which was becoming more bedraggled with every roll, was full of white pasty lumps.

When I had rolled her to the other end of the room, she looked like a powdery ghost from the neck down, but her face had pretty much avoided it. That would soon change. I gathered some of the excess flour and made a mound out of it. Lynzey was lying on her belly, so I gently pulled her hair to lift her chin up and scooped the mound next to her face. Then, FLUMP! Lynzey's face got dumped into the pile of flour. I plunged her in and out of it four or five times, looking at her face in between each dunking to appreciate the gungy flour and water paste all over it. Then I grabbed huge handfuls of the powder and rubbed it all over her hair.

"OK, now stand up and remove your bra!" I commanded. A little disorientated, Lynzey climbed to her feet, sexily reached behind her back and unclipped that hot pink bra she was wearing. She slowly pulled it away and exposed her breasts, which were about the only part of her body not coated in flour.

She stood patiently in just her knickers while I prepared her next bit of discipline. I took off that daft mortar board hat I was wearing and squirted a full can of whipped cream into it. Then I grabbed a custard pie and strode over to her.

Lynzey was doing her best to stay in character as submissive and nervous schoolgirl, but she couldn't help giggling, knowing what was coming her way.

"I can't believe you're insolent enough to laugh, Harris!" I said. "I'm really going to let you have it now!"

I lifted the mortar board up and slammed it down on top of her head, so the cream spurted down her face, following this up with a hard custard pie to the face. She looked wonderful with that gungy hat on her head, the crusty pie in her face and her tits, which had wobbled with the impact of the pie, bare and clean.

They wouldn't stay clean for long though no way could I resist slamming a pair of pies into those beautiful breasts. I picked up two lime pies and approached Lynzey, who couldn't even see what I was about to do because of the pie in the face. Then I smashed both gooey pies simultaneously into her knockers. She gave a high-pitched gasp as her mouth dropped open, causing most of the pie crust to drop to the floor and revealing her custard-covered face.

"Now, Harris, I'd like you to turn around and touch your toes," I said.

Lynzey swivelled, bent down and stuck her arse out, shaking it from side to side. She succeeded in reaching and holding her toes in her hands, but of course I was stood right in front of her protruding backside pie in hand. I gently pulled down her knickers, which were the only item of clothing she was now wearing, and SMASH! A custard pie rubbed all over her bare arse.

"OK, now sit down!" I said, pulling up a chair.

Stark naked, Lynzey sat on the chair. I snook a whipped cream pie between her bum and the seat, making a satisfying squelch as she sat down. Then I took a piece of string and tied her hands behind her back. Another length went around her ankles, tying her feet together as well.

"OK, ten pies in the face coming up!" I taunted.

"Sir, I've learned my lesson. I know I'm a naughty girl, but please don't pie me!" she whined. What an actress! You'd think she wasn't enjoying it.

I didn't even answer her this time, I just smashed a coconut cream pie straight into her face. I made sure that these ten pies would be direct, full-in-the-face hits. The great thing was that she just had to take it she couldn't wipe her face, turn her back or dodge the pies, she just had to sit there in the nude and was totally at my mercy, but was happy to do it. I could tell from the sexy feminine gasps she kept giving throughout the pieing.

After ten thick facefulls of blueberry cream, chocolate, custard etc, I decided it was time for something a bit gungier. "Harris," I said, "you're about to get into an even stickier situation!"

"Whatever do you mean, sir?" she asked innocently while licking up the pie around the sides of her mouth.

I unscrewed the top off a tin of gooey, black treacle. I wiped Lynzey's eyes for her, because I wanted her to see what was coming her way next. I upturned the tin and allowed the thick gloop to drop slowly and heavily into her hair.

"Ooohhhh!" she moaned, and looked up to get some of the extremely thick and sticky gunk in her face. With my spare hand, I started messaging the treacle into her hair.

"This will never wash out, sir!" Lynzey complained.

"Well, you should've thought of that before misbehaving, you bad girl!" I teased. I finally cut the strings tying her hands and feet together, allowing her to get up an give her face a long overdue wipe with both her hands.

"Lastly, down on your knees please." I said. I think Lynzey expected that Teacher's last demand would be a blowjob, but I was too much of a gentleman to order her to suck my cock. Instead, it was time to round this session off with a nice bit of head-dunking. I brought a big bucket of melted chocolate over and left it right in front of her.

"What's this for, sir?" she asked, acting stupid.

"I think you know, don't you?" I replied.

"No, I've no idea, sir," she said, continuing the act.

"Well, perhaps I need to show you!"

"Oh, yes please, sir!"

I knelt down with her and held the treacle-matted hair at the back of her head with my left hand, then I slowly plunged her head into the bucket. I held her under for a while, then pulled her out.

"Feeling punished, Miss Harris?" I teased.

"Yes sir. Extremely punished!" she replied, swallowing some of the thick gungy chocolate that had made it's way into her mouth. I dunked her another seven or eight times, making sure that she was sat upright between each dunk so that the chocolate dropped down onto her tits. By the end, her head and shoulders were just a brown, drooping mess, but there was still plenty left in the bucket. I lifted it up and motioned to throw what was left all over her.

Still on her knees, Lynzey put her hands up. "No please, sir, don't cover me in chocolate! Anything but that!"

I grinned, and let her have it. Gloopy chocolate cascaded down on her face as she looked up at me, but it was covering her head to toe. It was one hell of a gunging, and she just groaned and lay down on her back as it came to a conclusion.

We were both quiet for a few seconds, then she sat up and whispered "Bet you'd love another messy blowjob, sir?"

I smiled. How do you answer that question? It was awesome enough that she was up for getting naked, being hit in the face with countless pies and covered in whatever I had to dump on her, but the fact that she wanted to get her lips round my cock was the icing on the cake.

"Lie down, sir" she said. I flopped down on my back and let her unbutton my jeans and lower my boxers. My penis was rock hard.

Lynzey gave me a minxy smile. "You're gonna get your dick sucked, but this time I want some attention too!"

She kissed the end of my cock and slowly eased her lips down it. She was an absolute expert at oral sex. I could feel her lips, tongue and even the roof of her mouth, but not a trace of her teeth. It felt truly amazing, and then she swung her feet towards my head and I saw her chocolatey pussy edging towards my lips. I tucked right in and licked her cunt clean of the chocolate, before sucking and kissing her clit.

Lynzey moaned with her mouth full, and I was just gasping from pure ecstasy. You just can't beat a messy 69! The chocolate from her crotch was going all over my face. There were just so many reasons to be turned on that I couldn't hold it in any longer. I pumped my jizz right into Lynzey's mouth, then she gulped loudly as she swallowed the load. Doing that seemed to push her over the edge, and she came all over my face.

As we rolled off each other, we both burst out laughing. After the orgasms, you kind of realise how ridiculous it is for two adults to cover each other in desserts. Then again, maybe that's why it's such a turn-on!

---

Back in the living room, I stopped tickling Lynzey and let her put her shoes and socks back on. She had to go to work unfortunately, so I walked her to the front door and gave her a kiss.

"I take it you haven't checked your e-mails today?" she asked.

"No. Why?" I replied.

"Just have a look, I think you'll like it! See you next weekend for more mess!" She winked and walked out the door.

I was straight on the internet when she left to find out what she was talking about. There it was in my inbox, a message from Lynzey, with a large file attached, titled "We Got Anna!"

Anna was the other girl who lived with Lynzey and Lara. She was a little on the big side in fact my housemate Gary had once described her as "a bit of a bloater", which I thought was pretty harsh. I found her attractive with her long blonde hair and luscious lips, and it has to be said that probably the most notable thing about her was that she had huge tits. She was very curvy, and I was aware that she had done modeling and was very confident about her body. She was happy to pose in her underwear for a bit of student "beer money".

Excitedly, I opened the message, which read:

Hey Mike,

So, you know how much I enjoy getting messed up, and Lara's well into it now too since we gave her that little initiation. In fact, it was her who insisted that we should make it a full house of gungings over here by getting Anna in on the act.

You see, Anna's got this habit of eating breakfast cereal in the morning, then not putting the milk back in the fridge. We've warned her that we're going to punish her somehow if she keeps doing it but, sure enough, the milk was left out again yesterday morning. It's not acceptable, so this is what we did to teach her a lesson, and Lara used her cinematic skills to get it all on tape!

I'm sure Anna won't mind you looking at it, she's pretty outgoing as you know. Oh yeah, and Lara and I didn't escape without getting a bit of a dressing down either.

Enjoy!

Your WAM buddy,
Lynzey xxx

My heart thumping with anticipation, I double clicked the attached file. Of course, it took ages to load this was 2002, don't forget but, when it did, I watched what is still the best WAM video I've ever seen. Here's how it goes:

It starts with the camera showing Anna sitting on a chair, with her legs and feet rested on another two chairs in front of her. Her hands are tied behind her back, and her legs and feet are tied to the chair below them. She's wearing pink pyjamas and a pair of white slippers on her feet. She looks nervous, but is managing a cute smile. Lynzey is stood to her right and Lara to her left, both looking menacing.

"Right, Anna!" says Lara. "You're not learning, are you?"

"I guess not!" Anna laughs.

"Shall we show her what happens to people who leave the milk out?" Lynzey teases.

"I think we should!" Lara giggles.

Lynzey takes the top off a four-pint bottle of milk, and holds it above Anna's head.

"Oh my god, you wouldn't!" Anna gasps.

"Oh, I would!" says Lynz. "You deserve it!"

She tips the bottle upside down and the milk gushes down onto Anna, soaking her blond hair. She opens her eyes wide and drops her jaw. Clearly the milk is very cold. As Lynzey continues to pour the bottle, Lara puts her hand under Anna's chin and pushes it gently upwards, forcing her to look up into the milk and get it all over her face.

When the bottle is empty, Anna splutters and giggles. She kind of seems to like it now that the shock of it is over. But hang on, Lara's got another four-pinter!

"Oh no, not another one!" Anna exclaims.

"Oh yes!" Lara cackles, and starts pouring. This time, Anna voluntarily looks up. This might be because she expects one of the girls will push her head up anyway, but it looks more like it's because she's enjoying getting milk in the face. A good amount of it ends up all over those two massive tits as well.

"Milk's all well and good, Lynz, but do you think it's enough to punish her with?" asks Lara.

"Hmmm, I don't think so," replied Lynzey, "but we should keep it dairy themed."

With that, the two girls both pull out big, piled-high whipped cream pies.

"No way!" Anna screams.

"Oh yes!" taunts Lynzey. "It's pie in the face time!"

"You've already covered me in milk!" she whines, "surely that's punishment enough?"

"Oh I don't think so!" Lara retorts in a singsong voice. "Lynz, hit her with the pie!"

"With pleasure," she replies and smashes Anna hard in the face with the whipped cream pie. The cream smushes all over Anna's hair and the crust breaks into pieces all over her face. Lara immediately follows up with another pie. The two girls deal Anna eight pies to the face, with hardly any gap between them. Anna is a total mess and can't even wipe her face due to her hands being tied. Strangely, she seems to be enjoying the treatment, however, and is giggling girlishly.

The camera then pans down to Anna's slippered feet. We see Lynzey's hands quickly yank the slippers off, revealing Anna's bare soles. Anna doesn't just have big tits, she has big feet too. They're taking up the full screen and must be size 10 or 11. Lynzey brings her index fingers to both of Anna's little toes, then quickly runs them along the outsides of both feet, right down to her heels.

"Hahaha, oh no, please don't!" Anna pleads. "I can take the pies in the face, but please don't tickle my feet!"

Lynzey doesn't listen, and Anna is subjected to a full minute of foot tickling. Lara gets in on it, tickling Anna's right foot while Lynzey tackles her left. Anna's shrill, hysterical giggles are really sexy.

"Tell you what," Lynzey says to Lara, "you get her feet, I'll get her face!"

"Oh, you're not gonna tickle and pie me at the same time, are you?" Anna asks out of breath.

"I'm afraid that's exactly what we're going to do," says Lynzey. "Lara, commence the tickling!"

With the camera now zoomed out to Anna's full body, Lara tickles her toes furiously while Lynzey ploughs another 12 whipped cream pies into her victim's face. Although Anna is writhing about due to being tickled, Lynzey keeps grabbing tufts of her hair to hold her in place and ensure that each pie gets rubbed right into the face of Anna.

The girls finally take a break from the tickling and pies and give the breathless Anna ten seconds or so to recover.

"Do you feel adequately punished?" Lara asks her.

"I think the punishment outweighed the crime," says Anna, "but it was fun". Her face annihilated with cream, she raises her eyebrows and licks her lips sexily.

"Well, there's just one more stage of the treatment," says Lynzey. She wipes Anna's eyes so she can see the bucket she's holding and mockingly says "you're gonna get covered in custard!"

Anna laughs again, "well, I can't get any messier. Let me have it!"

Lynzey tips the bucket over Anna's head, and tons of the custard runs off it and straight down Anna's pyjama top onto those enormous breasts. Anna is learning fast and looks up, allowing Lynzey to empty the bucket right onto her face.

"Expertly taken," says Lara, applauding. The girls finally untie Anna and she gets a long overdue chance to wipe her face. She does it slowly and with mock anger, throwing the cream and custard to the floor.

"I'm gonna get you two for that!" she laughs. "Stand still!"

Lara shrugs her shoulders, "well, a few pies in the face is a small price to pay for the fun we've had!"

"I agree," says Lynzey, leaning forward and putting her hands behind her back, "it's the least we deserve."

There are ten pies left, and Lynzey and Lara get nailed with five each. There's no resistance at all, they just take it.

Eventually, Lara, who studied camera work at uni so knows what she's doing, brings her pie-splattered face up to the camera and grins.

"We hope you enjoyed our messy session! Bye bye!"

She presses a button on the camera and the video ends.

And that, basically, kept me pleasuring myself for 11 years. I fell out of touch with Lynzey and I've no idea how. She got a boyfriend (we always agreed that we weren't actually going out) and, I know I'm bound to say this, but he was a right dick. They were completely unsuited and I've no idea what she saw in him.

When I left uni in 2002, I got in a relationship for a few years, but I wasn't happy. I just kept kicking myself for never trying to extend my relationship with Lynzey to anything more than messy meet-ups. I've been in a few relationships since, but none have worked out. I moved to Manchester and lived alone.

I'd completely lost touch with Lynzey. She had changed her mobile number, and remember that Facebook wasn't around in 2002. I had tried to search for her on it since, but she could well be married by now and not have the same surname.

All I had to remember her by was that video, and the bit where her and Lara got pied at the end was the only way I could see her get messy. I actually felt quite sorry for Anna I had hardly even met her and she would be in her early thirties by now, but she existed in my mind purely as a tied-up 21-year-old giving me countless orgasms by getting covered in milk, pies and custard.

So you might be thinking my life isn't so amazing. It WAS amazing, perhaps, but now it seems a bit shit.

Well, I'd have agreed with that until Christmas 2013, which is when I'm writing this. I was on Facebook one night and noticed I had a message. I clicked it, and saw it was from a Lynzey Blake. It read:

Hey Mike,

Remember me? Your old WAM buddy?

Sorry if this is a bit out the blue, but I've just been through a divorce (hence the surname) and I've been thinking about you. I used to have so much fun getting hit in the face with pie after pie and covered in custard by you. It was an experience, but a great one! And something tells me you enjoyed it too.

I've noticed you're single and live in Manchester. Snap! You're still as fit as you were at Uni going by your pictures ha ha.

Tell me if I'm being crazy but would you like to meet up some time for a pie fight?

Lynz x x x

I couldn't believe it, was this a wind-up? I looked at her profile and it was her alright. She was now 31, like me, but hadn't aged. She was as stunning as ever. There was a picture of her in a bikini on a beach, which I spent a particularly long time looking at. All this time I had wondered where she was and what she was doing, she was living in the same city as me.

We exchanged messages, then phone numbers, and eventually met up. I gave Lynzey my address and she drove round. That moment she rang my doorbell was pure elation.

My bathroom is directly above my front door, so I can see people at the door through its window. Lynzey was holding a custard pie. She was planning to pie me on my own doorstep! Well, we'll just see about that

I opened the window and Lynzey looked up. "Very predictable, Harris!" I sighed, even though that wasn't even her name anymore. "Luckily, I'm always thinking two moves ahead!"

I had prepared a big bucket of thick green gunge and left it in the bath. I picked it up and poured it out of the window and onto Lynzey, who continued to look up at me. She stood perfectly still as the gunge splattered her face from a height of around 15 feet.

That was great fun, but I thought I should probably now let that gorgeous green monster in. I went downstairs, opened the door and accepted my pie in the face. Of course, it was now topped with a layer of gooey green gunge.

She pied me with such force that I fell back onto the stairs behind me. Then she jumped on me, covering me with the gunge all over herself and kissing me passionately.

It was just like 2001, and my life was amazing again!