Dan wasn't really sure where he stood with Emily. In the past they had been the bitterest of rivals at college until they'd joined forces to enter a televised gameshow. But Emily had betrayed him on the show, getting him covered in pies and gunge. Dan hadn't coped well with the humiliation and consequently his grades had suffered.

Therefore, he'd had to receive additional tutoring which just happened to be with Emily's mum. The tutoring had gone well, and his grade had improved considerably. This brought Dan and Emily into regular contact and it wasn't long before she'd covered him in mess again. However, this time she'd kissed him afterwards and surprisingly they'd begun dating.

* * *

Dan was a little apprehensive about his date with Emily tonight. They'd been going out with one another for a couple of months and things had been going great, even if Emily did still occasionally insist on Dan getting covered in gunge. Fortunately, except for the gameshow, she'd kept her messy domination of him private.

However, tonight Emily had got them tickets to see the circus in the next town over. Ordinarily Dan wouldn't mind going to the show, but he was hesitant because of one act, the clowns! He didn't trust Emily not to have set him up and for him to be included in their act and get publicly humiliated.

The trek itself was simple enough, they took the number 33 bus. From there they walked hand in hand down the main street and over to the park where the circus had set up. They passed by several colourful booths before joining the back of the queue for the big tent. After a short wait they filed into the marquee and took their seats in the front row.

"I've been looking forward to this" Emily said enthusiastically.

"Hmm" Dan replied.

The lights dimmed and the show started. The ringmaster introduced act after act, from bareback riders to trapeze artists, contortionists to jugglers. As the performances continued Dan began to relax and enjoy himself. Emily however seemed to grow ever more impatient with the show until they announced the clowns.

"About time!" Emily exclaimed.

Two gaily dressed men ran out and started cavorting around the ring, chasing each other and generally acting silly. Emily seemed less than impressed with their act. Towards the end one produced a shaving cream pie and hit the other in the face with it before the two took their bows and departed. Dan sighed with relief, but Emily seemed crestfallen.

* * *

By the time they'd made their way back to Emily's house, her mood seemed to have improved. Whether that was because of his company or the toffee apple he'd purchased for her leaving the circus tent he wasn't entirely sure. He was just glad she was smiling again.

The house itself was in darkness which meant that Emily's mum must be out. They settled down in the lounge and Emily gave Dan a brief kiss on the lips before excusing herself to go change into something more comfortable. Dan tried to imagine what that might be, whatever it was it seemed to be taking Emily an awful long time.

"Do you need any help?" he called out.

Emily didn't respond and Dan was just about to get up off the sofa when the door burst open. Emily had indeed changed, she was now dressed in a pair of striped leggings, a flared purple skirt, yellow polka dot t-shirt and white gloves. She'd also applied white face paint to herself and was wearing a red sponge nose and bright blue wig.

Dan immediately got nervous about what was going to happen next and didn't need to have x-ray vision to know there would be a trolley laden with custard pies waiting for him in the hallway. Emily proved this to be the case moments later when she pulled the trolley into the room and selected a pie from it.

"Err. can't we talk about this?" Dan asked.

Emily shook her head and smashed the pie she was holding into Dan's face. He'd known there was no point in resisting further and simply accepted his messy fate. Blinded by the pie, Dan imagined that Emily was already re-arming herself and sure enough as he cleared the cream from out of his eyes there she was waiting with another pie.

This time instead of smashing the pie into his face, Emily slowly smeared it upwards into his hair leaving it resting on top of his head. She took a third pie and slowly, almost lovingly, ground it into his face. To finish her opening barrage, Emily took a pair of pies and sandwiched Dan's head between them.

"So, what had you planned if you'd liked the clown's performance?" Dan enquired.

Emily shrugged her shoulders in apology as she picked up a soda siphon. She then aimed the siphon at Dan and let loose a steam of soda water into his face, washing off most of the pie cream off him in the process. Dan would have thanked her, but he knew she'd only done it, so she'd have a clean target for the half dozen pies which remained on the trolley.

And sure enough that's what she did. Emily picked up one pie and after a moment's deliberation, threw it at Dan. Having had considerable experience of both pie throwing and using Dan as her target, it didn't come as a surprise to either of them when the pie struck him dead centre in the face.

Emily then let loose with five remaining pies. She grabbed two initially and sandwiched the front and back of Dan's head with them. Then taking two more pies she applied them to the sides of his head before retrieving the final pie and slam dunking on top of his head to leave Dan's head completely encased in cream pie filling.

Dan stayed sitting knowing that with Emily there was probably at least one more indignity to follow. But after a short wait and nothing further happening, he reached up and began to clear the pies from his face. He could see that Emily had already cleaned up the mess around him and was holding out a bag for him to depose of the pie remnants he held.

Then out came the soda siphon again and Dan received another face full of water. Emily then took out a towel and dried Dan off before sitting down on his lap and giving him a passionate kiss. The kiss soon turned into a full on makeout session which was only interrupted when they heard a set of keys being placed in the front door.

"Crap! Your mum is back" Dan stated.

"I'll go show her my new fancy dress costume," Emily said, jumping off Dan. "You'd better leave."

As Emily distracted her mum, Dan quickly headed down the hall, through the kitchen and out the back door. He then hid in the garden by the gate until he was reasonably sure Emily's mum wouldn't be looking out of the house and then snuck out the gate to make his escape.

* * *

Dan got the odd look as he made his way home that evening as despite Emily's liberal use of the soda siphon, he was still a sight to behold. But he did make it back safely and if Emily's mum had seen him leaving her house, she never mentioned it. But at least Emily did make it up to Dan afterwards.