LADY CAROLINE ORGANISES A HEN PARTY


You don't expect to be woken at 7am on a Sunday morning by a violent hammering on your door (especially if, as in Lady Caroline's case, you had been out on the thrash the night before!) However, this is exactly what happened to Caroline that particularly Sunday morning.

"What the fuck," she groaned as she tried to sit up, push her hair out of her eyes, and cope with a splitting headache all at the same time. "OK, OK, I'm coming," she cried out as she stumbled out of bed and pulled a robe over her silky nightdress. Bleary-eyed, she opened the door to discover her best friend, Fiona, standing there with a stupid grin plastered across her face. Caroline was just about sufficiently compos mentis to note that Fiona clearly had not been home as she was still wearing a pretty cocktail dress.

"It's happened; he's done it!" Fiona shrieked with delight. "Who's done what?" Caroline responded, still trying to get her brain in gear. "Hugo, of course. He's finally plucked up courage to ask me to marry him and it isn't as though I hadn't given him enough hints to get on with it! Anyway, last night he popped the question and, of course, I said "yes"!" This news was sufficient to snap Caroline into full wakefulness. "Darling, how wonderful. Come it.tell me all about it.where were you when he proposed..did he go down on his knee? Oh do tell!)

Fiona was bubbling over with excitement to share her news with her friend, and the two girls sat together on the sofa while Fiona regaled Caroline with all the details of her evening. "This calls for a drink," Caroline declared, her headache forgotten. "I think I have a bottle of bubbly in the fridge." They toasted Fiona's forthcoming marriage and then Fiona said; "Well darling, I must rush. You are the only one who knows so far and Mummy and Daddy will be furious if I don't let them know soon." The two girls air-kissed, and Fiona hurried away to make her phone calls. Caroline retired to a hot bath full of bubbles and scented oil.

As she lay there, Caroline reflected; "I'm delighted for Fiona and Hugo, of course. It is about time they got their act together." (Caroline had known Hugo for years, and he was one of her closest friends. In fact he had been one of the conspirators who had helped her take revenge on her Editor at the memorable house party at Fiona's family country home.) "I must think of something lovely to give them as an engagement present."

All their friends welcomed the news of Fiona and Hugo's engagement, and a date was soon set for the wedding. "We've been hanging around so long we might as well get on with it," Fiona confided to Caroline one evening over a drink as she asked her friend if she would be her Chief Bridesmaid. Caroline, of course, was thrilled and agreed immediately. "I'll have to think of something special for the Hen Night," she thought. "Fiona deserves nothing but the best."

Preparations for the wedding proceeded apace and Caroline designed a wonderful surprise Hen Night involving most of Fiona's girlfriends at an exclusive spa resort in Hampshire. However, that didn't seem sufficiently 'special' for her best friend, and Caroline wrestled with what else she could do. Then she had an idea..

A weekend before the formal Hen Night and a month before the wedding, Caroline told Fiona that she was taking her away for a very special night out. "Given that you have been my bestie for ever," she explained, "I thought we should do something memorable together. Put your glad-rags on," she instructed, "as where we are going demands only the best!"

The two girls dressed up to the nines in pretty party frocks, expensive heels, and lots of bling. They both spent the morning with their stylists ensuring their hair and makeup was immaculate. Caroline picked Fiona up from her flat in her little sports car and drove them out of London towards Chelmsford. "Where are we going?" Fiona giggled, "only you have been so secretive and I don't know this part of the country at all." "Oh, its not far," Caroline told her, "just the other side of Epping Forest."

Fiona looked quizzical as Caroline drew the car to a halt outside a terraced house in a small Essex town. This wasn't quite what she had been expecting. "We're meeting a friend," Caroline explained, "she's invited us in for a drink." Fiona climbed out of the car and joined Caroline on the doorstep of the house. Whilst they were waiting for someone to answer the bell, Caroline noticed Fiona's handbag for the first time. "That's very pretty," she said, "is it new?" Fiona grinned ruefully; "Yes, and it cost me rather more than I intended, but I just couldn't resist it." Just then the door opened and Fiona let out a gasp of surprise. "Susie! I wasn't expecting to see you this evening." (Susie Splosh was one of the girl's 'messy' friends.) "When Caroline mentioned you were passing this way I told her you simply had to drop in," Susie replied. "I can't have friends coming this close and not invite them for a drink! Anyway, do come in. The house is a bit of a mess I'm afraid as I had a client earlier and he stayed longer than I had anticipated." (Susie earns her living and her name as a professional 'splosher'. People pay her to let them pelt her with food, water, and other messy substances, and, in turn, get messed up themselves.)

Susie led Fiona and Caroline through to a back room. The remains of a sploshing session were evident on a table in the corner. "Sorry about this," Susie said, "you had better sit here Fiona, this chair is clean, "and I'll just move these things so you can sit down Caroline." Fiona sat gingerly on a plastic-seated office chair. She was wearing expensive clothes and had no intention of getting any marks on them. However, as Susie had said, this particular chair seemed clean.

"I'll get us some drinks," Susie announced. She went into the kitchen from where she returned carrying three glasses of fizz. Susie raised a glass; "Here's to your forthcoming wedding Fiona," and promptly threw the contents in Fiona's face! "What.." Fiona spluttered, but before she could continue Caroline and Susie had fastened her wrists to the arms of the chair with Velcro straps so that she was trapped. Suddenly it dawned on her. "On no you're not..are you? You wouldn't..this is good dress?..PLEASE don't!" "Sorry Fiona," Caroline said with a grin, "only we couldn't let you go to your wedding without one more messy session." At this point William and Candy, two other friends, emerged from where they had been hiding. "Congratulations on your forthcoming nuptials," said William, bending over to kiss Fiona on the cheek. "We thought you might appreciate our wedding presents in advance," continued Candy. Susie poured each of the four friends a glass of wine and they solemnly toasted Fiona before throwing the contents in Fiona's face. In spite of herself Fiona couldn't help giggling as the wine dripped down the front of her dress. "I don't suppose I have any chance of talking you out of this?" she pleaded. "None whatsoever," Caroline replied. "Well you had better get on with then," Fiona sighed, "only the suspense is making me horny!"

Candy removed one of Fiona's louboutin shoes and filled it with jam. William was filling the other one with tomato ketchup. As they slid the shoes back onto Fiona's feet, the contents oozed out over her stockings. Fiona's feelings were mixed. The sensation of her feet covered in mess was wonderful, but her shoes were Louboutin for god's sake and had cost a fortune. Her next shock was when Caroline picked up her expensive new clutch bag and opened it. "Oh not that, please," Fiona begged. "What have we in here," said Caroline, ignoring Fiona's plea. "Phone, compact and lipstick, wallet, pretty hankie,..oh and these," she produced two tampons and a packet of condoms. "And what were you thinking of getting up to tonight, you naughty girl!" She replaced everything in the bag before filling it to the brim with custard. "You had better take a last look at these," she said, holding the back in front of Fiona's face. "Only I don't think anything in here is going to be much use from now on." With that she snapped the bag shut, resulting in a spout of custard hitting Fiona in the face.

By now resigned to having all of her lovely things ruined, Fiona began to enjoy herself. It had been ages since she had had a messy session. "OK you beasts, do your worst; I'm ready for you!" The others needed no further encouragement. Susie pick up a fruit pie and pushed it into Fiona's face. Cream and filling dripped down her front and pooled in her lap. William took a tin of baked beans and proceeded to pour it down inside Fiona's dress so that beans settled in her bra and dribbled down her tummy. Fiona shivered with delight.

Next Candy took a tub of margarine and rubbed it into Fiona's expensively coifed hair. She remoulded the hairstyle into a sort of 'nest' on the top of Fiona's head. Into this nest she then broke four eggs. "If you can keep your head still you should be alright," she reassured Fiona. Needless to say Fiona couldn't resist a giggle and, as a result, eggs splattered on her nose and dripped down her chin.

Caroline picked up a second carton of custard and poured it over Fiona's shoulders and bust. Susie picked up a bucket and unceremoniously dumped porridge over her head. By now Fiona was pretty well trashed and the four friends let her have it with anything left lying around simultaneously. Unable to control herself, this final onslaught brought Fiona to a shuddering climax. "Oh my god," she gasped when she had recovered her breath, this is certainly a 'special night' even if not the one I anticipated."

Caroline and Candy unfastened the wrist restraints, allowing Fiona to get up from the chair. Food dripped off her. "Hang on, you are still clean at the back," Susie announced, and promptly slammed a pie into her bottom.

The five friends collapsed laughing. "You beasts," Fiona admonished them, "this is certainly going to be a memorable evening. I just wish I hadn't spent so much on my outfit." "Well," said Candy, philosophically, "you can get messy in old clothes at any time, but something as significant as your wedding deserves only the very best." Fiona had to agree. "But don't think you four are going to get off scot free especially you Caroline. Susie, you go and change into something pretty, and Cindy and William, I'm sure you brought other clothes to change into just in case you got messy too. Let's reverse things. Go and put your better clothes on now!" The three of them grinned ruefully, nodded and left to do as Fiona instructed.

While they were alone, Fiona turned to her friend; "Thank you Caroline, I really enjoyed that, but you do realise your lovely dress is going to end up just as trashed as mine?" "I expected no less," Caroline replied, "its only fair. And just so that you know I haven't cheated, my outfit is brand new as well."

The others returned having changed. Susie was wearing a lovely green silk and velvet party frock over a scarlet, tiered petticoat. Candy's outfit comprised a silky, burgundy blouse with a pussy bow, and a straight, pale grey skirt teamed with black nylons and stiletto heels. William was the least smart. "I'm sorry," he said "but I only brought this shirt and trousers." His shirt was white and his trousers fawn. However, he did have a nice pale blue jumper on top. Fiona reassured him it was fine and that she intended to take great pleasure in ruining everything.

"Go and sit over there," Fiona told Caroline. "I'm saving you for last!" She then proceeded to pelt the other three with pies and buckets of slime. She took particular pleasure if filling William's boxer shorts with treacle. "Oh that's awful," he groaned, "it takes ages to get that out of my pubic hair!" Susie was made to lift up the skirts of her lovely dress and sit on a large chocolate cake. She was breathing deeply as it squished into her private places. Candy's special treatment was to have her blouse opened and her bra filled with tinned spaghetti. Fiona took great delight in massaging the mess until Cindy's nipples were thoroughly aroused and she was squirming with desire.

At long last Fiona turned to Caroline, who had so enjoyed the sight of her friends being trashed that she had been unable to resist the urge to fiddle herself off inside her knickers. She was therefore flushed and aroused when Fiona announced it "was her turn". "As the instigator of all this, you deserve special treatment," Fiona announced. "Susie, do you have a pair of scissors to hand?" She did, and Caroline stood in trepidation as Fiona advanced, clicking the scissors, with an evil grin on her face. "Bye-bye pretty dress," Fiona said, with mock sadness as she cut through the hem and ripped the dress up the front. She continue cutting and tearing until Caroline's dress was no more that a series of ribbons hanging from her bust. Fiona then made the final cut up the bodice and through the shoulder straps so the remnants of a once lovely gown fell to the floor. Caroline was left standing in only her black basque, nylons and heels.
She looked entrancing, but this only lasted a few seconds before Fiona smashed one pie in her face and another in her crotch. "Come on," Fiona exhorted the others, "please join me in punishing my duplicitous friend!" Susie, Candy and William needed no encouragement and in no time at all Caroline was invisible under an accumulation of pie, gunge, and assorted food products. As a final humiliation Fiona cut Caroline's suspenders and shoulder straps, before running the scissors down the front of the basque until Caroline was left clad only in stockings and heels.

"Oh look, she has cream on her pussy," Fiona murmured laciviously, "I think I ought to clean her up!" She sank to her knees on the messy floor and proceeded to give Caroline a good tounging until this tipped her over the top and Caroline came to a shuddering climax.

While this had been going one, Cindy and Susie had been indulging in a bit of 'girl on girl' time themselves, whilst William was reduced to jacking himself off! Exhausted but very satisfied the five friends indulged in some group fondling before Susie suggested; "I'm getting a bit cold. How about a hot shower?" After getting clean, Susie slipped into a fluffy dressing gown, whilst Willim and Cindy ruefully put their old 'messing clothes' back on. "Its OK," Caroline reassured Fiona, " I packed a couple of track suits before we set off." So she and Fiona were soom snuggly, if inelegantly, dressed as well.

Fiona thanked Susie, Candy and William profusely for making her evening so memorable, then she and Caroline got back in the car to return to London. "Thank you for arranging that," Fiona said. "I could have killed you initially, but once the first pie went in my face I was lost!" Caroline grinned back; "Well, that only leaves the wedding to sort out," she announced, leaving Fiona wondering exactly what she meant..