Kevin would be graduating from college in just six months and wanted to pursue a career in the creative arts; perhaps working behind the scenes for a media company. If he was going to have any chance of getting such a job, he needed to get some real-world experience which he could reference in his application.

He considered speaking with the college's careers advisor but after the mess that was his work placement, he thought it better of it. So instead he kept an eye out for any potential opportunities and was pleasantly surprised when he noticed a poster on the way home advertising for an assistant stage manager for the local amateur dramatics group.

"Sounds ideal" Kevin said to himself.

Kevin noted down the contact number on the poster and decided to give them a call.

* * *

The amateur dramatics group met two evenings a week in the town hall and Kevin's application was instantly accepted as it seemed they were short staffed. Ms Wallis the stage manager put Kevin straight to work; checking people were present and more importantly where they were supposed to be, hunting down missing props and scripts and generally helping to keep everything on schedule.

The group were rehearsing for their annual pantomime. Somewhat unusually the entire cast was female, as was the director and most of the backstage crew other than Old Burt the doorman and Kevin himself. Not that Kevin minded all the female company, especially as he got to see most of the cast half naked.

In particular he'd taken a shine to Chloe, the group's leading actress. She was in her late twenties, blonde and had an amazing set of legs which thanks to the tradition of British pantomime meant that as she was playing the principal boy, he got to see them a lot. She was also very friendly and down to earth, which made working with her a joy unlike some others.

"Kevin, be a dear and zip me up" Barbara demanded.

Barbara was one of the founding members of the group and something of a primidone, always wanting Kevin's help and assistance. He wouldn't have minded so much if she'd been one of the more attractive actresses, but she was in her forties and plain in appearance. This was undoubtedly why she was playing the part of the panto dame: a role usually reserved for a man in drag.

Kevin zipped Barbara up and spent some time going over her lines with her yet again. This has become a common occurrence and Kevin swore he now knew the role better than she did. Still he was very much looking forward to seeing her performance, especially the slosh scene that she had to take part in.

"Places everyone!" Ms Wallis called out.

Tonight, was the final dress rehearsal before the show opened at the weekend and everyone was a little on edge. Kevin suspected this was largely down to the small audience of specially invited guests which was apparently made up of influential members of the local Women's Society.

The first part of the panto seemed to go well with the audience cheering, booing and laughing in all the right places. Kevin had to admit that Barbara did okay in her role of panto dame even if she did fluff a couple of her lines. However, Chloe was clearly the star of the show and her singing brought the first act to a triumphant conclusion. But that's when things started to go wrong.

"Where's Barbara?" Penny the costumer enquired.

Ms Wallis tasked Kevin with finding Barbara. He immediately dashed backstage shouting excuses as he barged past half-naked women who were in the midst of changing costumes. He did put a hand over his eyes so as to appear blind to their state of undress but in truth he did seek the odd peek or two at them.

He finally reached Barbara's dressing room and after knocking a couple of times and getting no response, Kevin opened the door and entered. There was no sign of Barbara and he was just turning to search elsewhere when Ms Wallis and Penny burst into the room.

"Well, where is she?" Ms Wallis questioned him.

Kevin shrugged his shoulders in response and the three of them looked at one another in dismay. Obviously, the show couldn't go on without the dame. Suddenly the Penny looked critically up and down at Kevin and leaned over to whisper something to Ms Wallis. Whatever it was she said Ms Wallis started to grin and Kevin got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"You're about a size eight, aren't you?" Ms Wallis asked Kevin rhetorically.

Before he knew it, the what was happening the two women had grabbed hold of him and stripped him down to his boxer shorts. Then they were removed as well as Ms Wallis replaced them with a pair of white satin bloomers whilst Penny threw a gaudy dress over him. A liberal application of make-up and a big wig served to complete Kevin's transformation.

Kevin was in a state of shock as he was frogmarched towards the stage, past the actresses he'd glimpsed earlier. They broke out in laughter as they realised that despite being about the same general size and shape as Barbara it was pretty clear who it was under the costume.

"Later that day at the local bakery" the narrator announced loudly.

Ms Wallis and Penny pushed Kevin out onto the stage, and he found himself standing in front of a small crowd of expectant women with no idea what to do. He looked around the sparse set and noticed Chloe standing there with her delightful legs on show and a yellow coloured foam pie in hand. It was only at that moment that Kevin realised what scene this was and what was about to happen to him.

"Wai" Kevin began to say.

Chloe stepped towards him and pretended to stumble. She thrust her arm out to correct her balance and "accidentally" planted the pie in Kevin's face. Once again Kevin found himself pie-faced and humiliated by an older woman. But this time to make it even worse, it was in front of an audience, who began to laugh and cheer at his misfortune.

Kevin recalled that the dame was meant to call the principal boy names for their clumsiness and the loss of the cake. This in turn would lead to a routine where the dame got even messier. However, Kevin had no intention of continuing the scene and being further ridiculed. He was just about to walk off stage when the narrator spoke up.

"Your silly oaf, that was our last cake!" she said, supplying the dame's next line.

Then before Kevin knew what was happening, Chloe grabbed his arm and manoeuvred him over to the centre of the stage. He found himself standing behind a table upon which were placed a number of baking ingredients.

"Well I guess we'll just have to make another one" Chloe stated.

Chloe picked up a block of butter off the table and after unwrapping it slapped it down on top of Kevin's head. She then proceeded to massage it into his hair. Next was a pack of sugar which was emptied over his head. Then came three eggs, cracked one at a time on his head before finally Chloe doused him in flour.

Kevin tried to clear the mess from out of his eyes and was somewhat surprised when Chloe handled him some cloth to assist in getting clean. For a second, he thought she'd decided to go easy on him and end the routine early, until he heard the audience's laughter and realised, she'd ripped off the bottom half of the dress he was wearing.

"Unfortunately, we don't have time to wait for it to bake," Chloe announced "so let's get on with filling and decorating it!"

Chloe took a large piping bag filled with cream from the table and inserted the end into the bloomers Kevin had been forced to wear. He looked pleadingly at her to stop but she didn't and instead he experienced cream invading his most private regions. It was an incredibly odd sensation but not altogether unpleasant.

"I see you enjoyed that" Chloe whispered into his ear.

Kevin was totally mortified as he realised that he was getting an erection and that Chloe had spotted it. In fact, he was quite glad when she lifted up a bucket of blue icing and placed it over his head. Okay he might now be covered in blue paste but at least he wouldn't have to see her grinning knowingly at him.

He stood there for a while before realising that Chloe wasn't going to remove the bucket and the scene was over. He reached up and carefully removed the bucket from his head. He found himself alone on stage and the house lights were slowly coming back up to reveal the watching audience.

Kevin could see sitting on the front row was his ex-girlfriend's mother, the assistant principal from his college, one of the women he'd recently done a work placement with and sitting beside them all laughing her head off, was Barbara.

* * *

Kerry was running very late for the meet up and almost knocked over a poor young waiter as she made her way to the upstairs room of the restaurant. Once inside she was greeted by her sister and their friends who had started proceedings without her. It looked as if they'd eaten their way through two courses and were on to the speeches.

"A toast to Kevin and his next messy adventure!" Miss Rafferty called out.

The end.